by Megan McCoy
“Diapers and wipes?”
She pointed to the nightstand and grabbed her night bag. “Can you find a movie? I’m ready for bed.”
She went into the bathroom to change into her soft shorts and tee-shirt she slept in, and tried to look at her bottom. She needed a mirror. Picking up her clothes, she figured she’d wait until Mac came in to change then do a quick peek in the mirror. She was only curious! That was all and just wanted to check it out—it was her bottom! She was allowed, after all.
“All yours,” she told him as she came out of the bathroom and headed to put her clothes in the dirty clothes bag she’d brought. As soon as she heard the sound of the lock click, she rushed over to the sink and turned around in front of the big mirror, then dropped her shorts and peeked behind her. Disappointment swept over her. Pale white bottom with a few pale pink splotches. Really? She deserved more. Hearing the sound of the doorknob turn, she scrambled to pull up her shorts and he walked out, just as she almost had them.
“Checking out the damage?” He grinned at her. He really needed to not do that. “How was it?”
“Don’t speak to me.” Adjusting her waistband she stalked out of the area and to her bed as dignified as she could manage. He went to his bed and grabbed his toiletry kit, then went back to the bathroom area. Without speaking, which she appreciated.
Peeking into the crib where Sam slept with his arms outstretched and his little mouth parted part way. She never got tired of watching him sleep. What would he be like at three, all mouthy and attitude, and five heading off to kindergarten? High school graduation and getting married?
“What are you thinking?” Mac asked her, quietly.
“Of him picking out your nursing home,” she said.
“Well, that’s a cheery thought.” He pulled his covers down and got into bed.
Doing the same, she asked, “Do you think I’ll still be part of his life then?”
“You are his aunt and godmother. You were there when he was born. Why wouldn’t you be?”
“Life changes. If you marry someone who doesn’t like me, I could be cut out easily. And what if my new job takes me across the country? We don’t know where life will take us.”
“You worry too much, Jess. Watch the movie.”
“Or?” Okay, that slipped out.
“Or you will be tired tomorrow. Watch the movie and go to sleep. Night, Jess.”
“Night, Mac.” There was no way she could sleep. Was there? No.
Yet. She struggled awake a few hours later to Sam’s soft cries.
“I got him, you keep sleeping, Jess.” Mac’s voice was soft, tender and filled with love, she thought as she drifted back to sleep. He just sounded different when he held Sam. Maybe Sam wasn’t going to be adrift in the world with Mac as his only parent. It was easy to be sweet to an adorable baby, but there were going to be many challenging times ahead. She needed to make sure Mac could handle them.
Chapter 2
Jess looked around the nursery. She loved it. The walls were colorful and fun, it was practical and could grow with a little boy. She had a small bookcase on order, needed some toy shelves on that north wall, and a low bar in the closet so when he was bigger, he could hang his own clothes. Sam slept very well last night in his new crib, and she wasn’t worried at all anymore that he slept in a jail cell. He’d have the one room in this sterile house that wasn’t.
Mac would love it. Or not. She really didn’t care. Sam would love it. Snapping a bunch of pictures so she could show him when he was older, in case his dad painted it as soon as she left, she also thought she needed a clock in here, maybe one with animals instead of numbers. Looking at her cell phone, she checked the time.
“You ready to go to your swing, little man?” she asked. “All done with tummy time for a while? I know it isn’t much fun, but it will help you grow big and strong like Daddy.” Picking him up, she checked his diaper. He was good, so they headed downstairs to the kitchen where she had the swing and the first nanny applicant’s résumé. She’d be here in about half an hour. Then she had another one in two hours, one more later this afternoon, and two tomorrow the service had set up. In between, she needed to brush up her résumé she’d not used in almost six years and start searching for jobs. She and Mac had gotten back Sunday afternoon, after a weird weekend away. It had been very fun, very stressful, and then a little sweet, and a little awkward and she just really didn’t have a clue what their relationship felt like now. He’d always been Carly’s PITA twin brother. The one they teased and ignored and rolled their eyes at his male stupidity. Sometimes he’d come in handy, but usually he was just there on the periphery of their lives. She’d never had a crush on him, like she and Carly had on other guys in their class. He was just Mac. Sometimes his buddy Ryan would pop up on their radar, and they would giggle about him, but Mac, never.
Settling Sam into his swing, she started it going. He loved the swing and it could usually be counted on to put him to sleep. Hard to imagine it would only be around another few weeks because he’d outgrow it. She needed to get him one of those bouncy things, where he could sit up and play with toys, and she needed to find a pediatrician and get him in as soon as possible. Last thing she wanted was him falling behind on his vaccines and checkups. Only the best for her, well, for Mac’s baby. “You know Aunt Jess loves you,” she kissed the top of his barely there dark hair. “Even if Aunt Jess is a little odd now and then, never doubt she loves you more than anything. And everyone knows not to mess with Jess.”
Yeah, odd. She’d always known her vague fascination with spanking was something she couldn’t tell anyone, not even Carly, while they were growing up. It was simply not something to be shared. As she grew up, and began to explore the internet and date a little more, she found out that while it seemed to be pretty much of a secret, the spankophiles were certainly out there. Most of her dates liked to pull her over their laps and give her a few playful swats. She found books and videos that fueled her fantasies, written a few of her own little stories, and, of course, Mac and his omnipresent threat to blister her butt didn’t help quash any desire. And they had lived together less than a week and he’d done it. Sure at her request, but still, the man followed through.
“You’re Aunt Jess is weird, but then so is your daddy,” she informed Sam as she went to answer the door. Ten minutes early, a good sign.
She opened the door to a middle-aged woman dressed in ripped jeans and smelling very vaguely of smoke. “Hello, I’m Liz, here about the nanny position.”
“I’m Jessie, come on in. We can go talk in the kitchen, if you don’t mind.”
“That sounds great, this is a lovely house,” she said.
“It’s a little sterile, if you ask me,” Jessie admitted, “but I’m working on it.”
“Did you just recently move in?”
“Well, MacAllister, the man you’ll be working for, has lived here alone a couple years, and he’s done nothing much. But now that the baby is here, it needs some cozying up, I think. Would you like some tea or lemonade or water or something?”
“Oh, I’m fine, thank you but go ahead.” They settled down at the kitchen counter, and Jess noticed the woman glanced over at Sam but didn’t really say anything.
“First of all, they told you this was a live-in position, right? And I’m doing pre-interviews and then MacAllister will make the final decision?”
“And he’s a single parent?”
“He’s a single parent, Sam’s mom passed away soon after he was born, and Mac works very long hours. We need someone who can manage that without a lot of daily help.”
“Is there a housekeeper or is that part of the job, too?” She looked around.
“There isn’t a housekeeper at this point in time, and I’m not sure what Mac’s thoughts are on that, but I imagine for now, you’d do light cleaning as well. So anyway, why did you decide to become a nanny?”
“Well, I love kids, of course. I’ve raised three boys, who were a h
andful, and my house is too big for me now that they are mostly out of the house. I need out of it by the end of the month and a nanny job sounded perfect to me. Live in, one little baby. Sounds like an easy job.”
“Well, like I said, the hours are very long. Mac often leaves at five in the morning and doesn’t come home until sometimes eight or nine at night, would that be a problem for you?” Jess felt there was something just off about the woman but she couldn’t put her finger on it.
“Oh, no, I’d prefer that. I would be able to do my own thing without anyone looking over my shoulder. When would be my days off?”
“It would depend. Usually it would be from Friday night whenever Mac got home until Monday morning when he leaves.” How would that work, Jess wondered. Would they just hang out in the house together, like she and Mac did? Would the woman stay in her room? It just sounded odd. But it would work out, she hoped.
“So tell me a little about your child raising theories?” she asked.
“Theories? Oh, that’s all new stuff. I don’t worry about that, just give them some love and attention and they will be fine.” She still didn’t look over at Sam, who was looking around at his mobile over his head and reached up to bat at it. Jess smiled at him.
“Tell me about your idea of a normal day with the baby, if you would, please?” Jess asked. She’d looked up ‘questions to ask on a nanny interview’. What did people do before Google? She had no idea.
“Oh, is there ever a routine day with a baby? They kinda do their own thing, now don’t they? Do you think he’d mind if my boys came to spend the day with us, too, sometimes? Two of them have their own place but the other one might want to stay over. He can just bunk on the couch though.”
“It was like Goldilocks,” she told Mac later that night over mushroom pork chops and potatoes she’d started in the crockpot earlier. “One didn’t show up, one was too lax and loose with the truth and the other so rigid and know it all, I could feel the waves of disapproval roll off her. ‘What do you mean he doesn’t have a set schedule at work? How can I plan my time never knowing when he’d be home?’ Oh, and apparently you are going to have to hire a housekeeper.”
“A housekeeper? I don’t have a housekeeper now. This is really good food.”
“Thank you. And yes, they both asked basically how many days a week you had one like it was expected.”
“They can’t watch a baby and clean house? My weekend cleaning isn’t enough?”
“Apparently not,” Jess said. “But I have two more applicants coming tomorrow, so we will see what happens then.”
“So how is the job hunting going or did you have time to do anything today between baby watching, nursery fixing up, nanny interviewing and cooking me dinner?” He frowned at her, “Oh and did you clean any house?”
Jess giggled. “I did throw a few loads of baby wash in, but dang, that dusting eluded me. As to the job hunting, I applied to three jobs I found within commuting distance of my house, so will cross my fingers. None are what I was doing though, so I’ll see what happens, and keep looking.”
“The perfect job is out there, waiting on your skills,” he said. “Is there seconds?”
“Did you not eat lunch?” She pushed the crockpot over in front of him. “Eat your green beans too. They are good for you.”
“Yes, Mommy,” he said, taking a bite.
“You are silly.” Wrinkling her nose at him, she continued, “I hope you are right. I’ve never been out of work before. Luckily, I’m paid until August, and then I can get unemployment I think, but I hope I don’t have to check into that.”
“You paid into it,” he reminded her.
For some reason, she felt like confiding in him. “I would really like to take a year and finish my Master’s degree but I can’t afford to do that and not work, you know?”
He put his fork down and stared at her. “Jess, the obvious answer is staring us right in the face.”
“Well, on my end Obvious Answer’s face is masked. What?”
“You come work for me for a year. You can go to school, take care of Sam and I’ll pay you the nanny salary. At the end of the year, he should be legally mine and will be older and I can take the year and work toward straightening out my schedule so it’s doable for day care.”
Jess stared at him. “Mac, we are like oil and water.” Were they though? They were actually doing pretty well together. “And what about my house?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe rent it out for a year? We can figure out the details. Why don’t you think on it a while and we can talk about it again next weekend? Go ahead and keep the nanny interviews and if Mary Poppins falls in my lap, I might renege on my offer.”
“That’s mean,” she said to his adorable grin. He needed to not do that.
Later in bed that night, she stared at the wall as her mind raced. This would be good. Sure, Sam was easy now, but he’d soon be crawling, not sleeping as much, eating solid food, needing playdates and she’d have to work her school around that. The other thing to think on, could she leave him after being his full-time caretaker after a year? Maybe she would find a job closer to him, though. Maybe she and Mac would fall in love and get married and she’d never have to leave him. With that thought she shut out her light, and fell asleep grinning at her own foolishness. Fall in love with Mac, utter nonsense.
Shutting the door behind the fourth nanny applicant the next day, she thought that one might actually work out. She’d set up a second interview for him on Saturday afternoon for Mac. He was doing online classes at the local university, and had four years of summer camp experience as a counselor. He seemed energetic, had been the first nanny applicant to pick Sam up and chat at him, and had done the entire interview with Sam in his arms. She’d liked him a lot, though his small baby experience wasn’t as much as some as the others, she had no doubt he’d pick right up on it.
Taking Sam to his swing, she started warming the bottle he’d be wanting in a few minutes, and checked on the lemon chicken she’d started earlier. She was getting really good at this crockpot cooking thing, but she’d try to do something different tomorrow. However, never knowing when Mac would be home, it was easy and smart, and she usually had the leftovers for lunch the next day. Sighing, she heard her email ding and checked the laptop she’d put on the counter. Her first job interview next week. Now she’d have to tell Mac his babysitter needed a babysitter. Well, they would figure it out.
“Hey, you are home early,” she called out as she heard the garage door open. Mac walked in, looking tired and stressed out. “What’s going on?”
“Bad day at work,” he said shortly. “I’m going to go take a shower and change.”
“Okay,” she said to his back. He hadn’t even looked at Sam, which was very unusual. She picked Sam up and carried him into the living room to give him his bottle. “Hey, little man, what’s up with Daddy, you think?” She settled into the rocker by the window and started to hum his favorite Beatles tune while he ate. “You’ve had a long day, haven’t you? It’s hard to be cute for new people, I know. But you managed very well. What did you think of Trevor? Think you might like him to be your nanny? Or think Aunt Jess should stay? Or do you have an opinion?”
Finishing his bottle, he looked up at her with a milk drunk smile, and reached up to touch her nose. “I love you, too,” she kissed his little fingers. “Always have, always will.”
“Thank you for that,” Mac said from the door, looking damp from his shower, and casual in his jeans and T-shirt.
“Not a hardship,” she said. “You want to put him to bed? I’ll tell you about the interviews over dinner.”
“Sounds good.” He took Sam from her arms and took him upstairs while she went into the kitchen and checked the baby monitor to make sure it was on. Mac was down just a few minutes later.
“Smells good in here, what did you make?” he lifted the lid from the pan on the stove.
“Lemon chicken and garlic noodles with some bro
ccoli.”
“What all did you do to his room? Jess, I swear, there is more stuff in there every day when I get home.”
“You’re welcome,” she said, sweetly. “It’s starting to look like a kid’s room, now, not a jail cell.”
“It never looked like a jail cell, and how would you know what a jail cell looks like?”
“Because I watch TV,” she said, putting the pans on the island. “And I like it. Maybe I’ll do the living room next.”
“I can’t afford for you to do the living room,” he said. “Jess, you are a better cook than my mom.”
“She taught me well. I spent many hours helping her in the kitchen, you know. So I set you up an interview for Saturday. His name is Trevor and he is wonderful. Plus I have a job interview Tuesday, so you are going to have to find a babysitter or take the day off so I can go.”
“Trevor? I don’t know. I thought nannies were women.”
“You are a sexist pig,” she informed him.
“Thank you?” He reached for more chicken.
“Anytime, but he’s the best one of the bunch so far, but I have two more interviews. So maybe we will like one of those better, who knows.”
“Have you applied to school yet?” he asked.
“What?” She took another bite of potato and looked at him.
“School. You might as well apply and have that for a backup in case you don’t get a job.”
She frowned at him and put her fork down. “Why wouldn’t I get a job? I have five years of experience and excellent references plus ongoing continuing ed credits. And I’ve already applied to school, so you know, and am taking one class online in the fall.”
“Take three or four,” he said. “Stay here and work for me. I’ve been reading up on child development and I really want him to have a stable force in his life this year. I’m going to work on scaling back hours but that simply can’t happen for a while. He needs someone here with him that won’t get mad and walk out.”