by Kerri Ann
“No way is China hanging in the wilds of Asia while you race,” Mother had said. She forgets that China can hold her own on a bike, build one up from scrap, and would handle the wilderness just fine, but no. She wants Doll to be the face of Crown, the fancy face of promotions and the money side of things. Thank fuck it’s not ours. Other than to race with, we don’t want the business.
Trellis co-runs his family affairs. It’s not his favorite part either, but after some unfortunate mishaps, it fell to him and his brothers. I’m always amazed at how he takes it in stride, handling it as well as he does with everything he’s dealt with. He’s had a bum rap.
My phone chimes, and I’m surprised to find a text from Doll. Our reception out here has been spotty. Looking at the screen, I see it’s a picture. Resting on the screen is her bike, a ribbon hanging across the tank, and a large check in her name. She did just fine at Laguna track it seems. I didn’t doubt her for a second.
Turning the screen, I show Tre and he smiles. “Fucking girl is a machine. I think she’ll best your ass soon.”
“Not a fuckin’ doubt. I have to watch her all the time. She’s fast and fearless.” Scrolling through the rest of the pics, I find the ones I’ll need tonight after it’s lights out. I’ve been talking to Circe for a month straight. I don’t normally talk to girls after we fuck, but for some reason, she’s hit a chord with me. We’ve talked, we’ve texted, we’ve sent each other naked pictures, and the one I’m scrolling for is my favorite. She’s lying on the bed, legs spread wide, with her finger pointing to her pussy with the caption ‘Wish you were here.’
Cheeky woman.
“What are you grinning about, you bastard?” Reaching across, Trellis peels the phone from my hands faster than I can react. “Oh, well. I’ll give you a pass. That’s a reason to ignore my tantalizing conversation.”
Turning the phone side to side, he takes in all the nuances of her soft skin, her perfectly manicured lips, her glistening pussy. Fuck, do I wish I was there. The women here don’t hold any interest for me, and even though I’ve been known to fuck around with guys, Trellis and I don’t have that kind of relationship.
“Who’s the fuck?” he asks crassly, and for some reason, it riles me up.
“She’s not a fuck,” I snap back, perturbed by his comment.
Tossing his hands in the air, he passes the phone back. I’m pissed that he’s seen her that way because it’s all mine. She’s mine.
“Got it, okay? So, who’s this girl that you’d bite my head off over?” I take a deep breath as I pocket my phone. “Her name is Circe. I met her at the TT.”
Looking dumbstruck, he smiles that cheesy smile that normally means alcohol and arrest warrants. “Is this the Circe I heard about?”
“Where did you hear about her?”
“The news, you dumbass.” At six foot seven, Trellis is one massive guy. All the men in his family are behemoths. I’m amazed that our friends at KRGT could even find suspension that would hold up his weight. I’m six foot-ish, and I easily weigh about two ten, but he has to be pushing two seventy-five.
“What do you mean?”
“She’s the one that interviewed you, right? Like I could miss that shit. Casper Crown was teasing a girl on air. Your panties were in a twist.”
Laughing it off, I toss one of the edgy pebbles at his head, which he catches easily before throwing it back. “Fuck you, man.”
“Look. Wyatt, that chick had your number from the start. I know you’ve been texting someone, and now I know who.”
Jesus! Have I been that noticeable? I thought I was being very aloof about the whole thing, giving just enough to get what I needed—sexual release. Being here, I needed more than my own hand in this desolate area, but for some reason, the idea of trying to find someone else deterred me. Nothing compares to her spit and fire.
“So…”
“So?”
“What is it that has you—”
“Dude, we are not going there.” Fuck no. Not bloody likely I’ll be talking to him about that.
“Fine.” He rises from his seat. “You want one of those fermented goat beers?”
“Sure.” Once he walks off, I pull my phone back out to look at her pictures. I flip through them slowly, eyeing all the tiny flaws. The soft shadows that dance across her face, and that fucking body of hers. I stop looking and turn when I hear Trellis in a heated discussion.
“No. I’m not telling him, and neither are you!” he yells at one of the cameramen.
Leaving my seat, I walk over. “What’s the problem, Tre?”
His look says something major is up. Staring at the asshole, he doesn’t even look at me when he says, “Nothing.”
“I call bullshit. You’ve never lied to me before, so don’t start now, man.”
“He needs—” Trevor, our camera guy starts.
“He needs nothing, you fucking asshole!” Grabbing Trevor by the scruff of his shirt, Tre’s stance is rigid, like he’s about to take the first shot. If I don’t interrupt, the two of them will be brawling in no time.
Yanking on Trevor’s clothing, I hear the material rip as he’s dragged forward. “Tre! What the fuck!”
Punching Trevor once, the guy hits the dirt. “To you, I’m Trellis Anchor. Not Tre, not Trellis. I’m fucking Mr. Trellis Anchor. And if I say you’re not saying shit, you shut the fuck up.” Jesus, he’s beyond pissed when he pulls the “I’m Mr.” bullshit.
“Tre!” I yell. “What the fuck is going on?”
Spinning on me with fire in his eyes, Trellis takes a step back. That fire starts to die out, but it’s replaced with fear, and a hint of something else I can’t place. “You don’t need to know, Wyatt. This piss ant cocksucker thinks he’s going to do something, and I’ve said he won’t. End of story. Fuck off. Go sleep it off with a goat and a bottle of lube.”
Picking him up off the ground, Trevor squirms in Tre’s grip as he tries to get away. “I’m fucking telling Casper. He needs to know!”
Gotta give him credit. The boy has balls to go against Trellis when he’s pissed. Not to mention, he’s at least a foot taller and a good buck heavier. I’ve seen Trellis fight with his two brothers, and I wouldn’t attempt to take him on when he’s this mad. Not without taking a considerable amount of damage for my troubles.
“Trellis, tell me what the fuck he’s talking about, or let the bastard loose to tell me himself.” I push my way between them, hoping to deflate Tre’s anger. Go figure, I’m trying to deflate someone else’s anger issues.
Turning to me, with a sad look in his eyes, Trellis says, “You don’t want to know, man. I’m telling you to leave this one.”
“I can’t, and you know that. Let him tell me, Tre.” Loosening his grip, he backs off of Trevor, then levels a heavy look at me.
“I’ll be over here. Don’t even think about doing something stupid without me.” He’s dead serious. I know that’s never good. The joker is not the serious type.
Straightening out his shirt, Trevor purses his lips, composing himself. “Casper, we’ve received some bad news. It’s all over the place, and at some point, you’ll see it. I figure it’s better to hear it from us than from a stranger.”
Now I’m getting pissed. He’s fluffing me up before he hands me bad news. “Fucking spit it out, man. What the fuck are you talking about?”
“There was a crash at Indy.”
“Yeah, so? What’s fucking new about that?” So there was an accident. So what?
“Your dad hit a patch…” He pauses. “Jax Crown died at two-thirty this afternoon.”
He waits for me to react; they all do. I stare at Trevor, hoping to catch him in a lie, but then I look to Trellis and I know.
This isn’t a joke.
“You’re fucking kidding me, right?”
He shakes his head. “I wish I was.”
“I don’t believe you!” I yell out. “I don’t believe any of you!”
I can feel my heart fall out of my chest.
I’m broken. There’s no repairing this.
CHINA
Three days ago, I was in Laguna. Three. Days.
I was on a high. I was ecstatic.
No, I was feeling euphoric.
After sending pictures to Wyatt and Jamieson—who never answers or acknowledges me with anything more than a gruff ‘Good going, Doll’—I called Dad like I always do when we’re at different tracks.
“Hey, Daddy, I did it again!” Yelling into the phone, I could feel my cheeks aching from smiling. But he didn’t answer.
No one answered at first, but I could hear the noise of the track. It didn’t sound right.
“Hello? Daddy?”
“Doll, it’s Ben. Where are you?” Why was dad’s team leader answering his phone? Was he crying? Dad should have been off the track by now, celebrating.
“Ben? Why are you answering Dad’s phone? Is he celebrating?” We talked about it at length. If he won, Ben would have to answer because there wouldn’t be enough whiskey in the world to douse his happiness.
“Doll, you haven’t looked at the news, have you?”
That’s when my life changed. There was nothing I could do to fix it either.
Days passed. Hours, minutes, and seconds all blended into one moment. Because everything in my life changed in a split second.
I’d finally felt a bit of freedom, leaving for Laguna. I needed some space from family and their awkward deficiencies. For once, I was able to stretch my wings and enjoy the tiniest bit of independence. Now I wish for that selfish need to be rescinded. I want to have them all here. I’ll take all their faults and shortcomings gladly, without bitching. Thinking about it makes me heartsick.
Sure, the flight back from England after the TT race was horrible, as always. I watched Wyatt fall apart, and ached to see him get through another moment in the presence of our mother. I felt awful that he had to be sedated again. Every time she tears him down, I watch as their illness pulls them apart, because mentally, they can’t handle each other.
Now? Now I’m crushed, and I have to find a way out of this despair. I never thought this would happen. There’s always the chance it could, but…not him. Never him. Never my dad.
Jax was stoic, strong, and indestructible. He was everything to me. Even now, sitting in this charter plane, I feel the tears well again, threatening to destroy me.
I’d found out about Dad’s crash in a horrible way, and it was the last thing I wanted for my brother. Dad had always been his defensemen against Mother’s cutting words, against her biting venom, and now that buffer is gone. Even with him in remote India, I knew he was with a full television team. There’s no way they wouldn’t find out fast. News about death travels fast.
After I found out, I’d tried his phone, which went straight to voicemail. I tried to reach someone through the production team, but they couldn’t put me through. I yelled and screamed, but it did me no good. Not one of those idiots could help me.
I was on the first charter I could find. Leaving the track where I’d just won, after riding one of my best races ever, I was leaving my mother to deal with her darkness all by herself, and I was leaving my now deceased father. Nothing was more important than the need to deal with my brother. The thought of him slipping away is too much. I can’t lose him too.
CHINA
“I’m not an idiot.” I’ve been arguing with one of my brother’s good friends, a lot. No, a fuck ton. Trellis is stubborn, dangerously gorgeous, and bitching about how I’m not being smart about things.
“You’re not dragging your brother out of here. I don’t care, Doll. He can’t handle this shit.” His large frame blocks the warmth of the fire that I desperately need. Leaving Laguna in my race leathers and a small carry-on bag of toiletries, I thought ‘It’s India, it’ll be warm.’ That was hella wrong; I’m freezing. “Taking him back to the States to deal with your mother and that pompous affair is not gonna happen. You know as well as I do, Doll, the way he is isn’t good.”
“Well he’s not staying here in this goat infested town to avoid it either. He has to come home. You know that, Tre. Stop being a stubborn ass.”
Seeing me shiver, Trellis pulls off his sweater and drapes it across my shoulders. “Fuck, Doll. Didn’t you bring clothes with you?”
Staring at his very toned chest, I shake off the thoughts of how beautiful Trellis Anchor is. “No. I didn’t have time to think about that. I raced across the world to get here in two days. I thought this place was going to be warm, not fucking cold. Figured my leathers and a few pieces of clothing would be all I’d need.”
Laughing at my stupidity, Trellis moves to the side, motioning for me to step closer to the fire. Soaking up the heat with my hands out in front of me, I let the stress of everything escape just a bit. “This is so hard. I don’t know what to do here.”
“I get that, China, I do. But draggin’ his ass back home to deal with your mother’s pain too? You and I both know it’ll be too much for both of them.”
“I don’t disagree, but what would you rather me do? Avoid our father’s funeral? He’d hate himself for missing it. We can’t keep hiding out. You of all people know that, Tre.” He has firsthand experience of family loss and avoidance of bad situations. His expression shows I hit a chord. I feel bad for going there, but I had to strike him where he’d get the truth of it. Wyatt can’t stay here. He has to come home for this.
Staying silent, worrying my lips between my teeth, I wait for Trellis to see that.
“Fine, but this is on you.” Great. Like I needed something else to heap on my shoulders. I guess I don’t get a choice. Help or hide?
Sitting down by the fire, I wrap my arms in the sweater, taking in the unique scent that is Trellis. He smells like nothing else. He’s danger, fearlessness, and I’ve had a crush on him for years. But I’m the little sister, so I’ve never ventured any further than adoration and care.
“We’ll let him sleep until morning, then we’ll pack it in. I’ll have to get the crew to bring him down in a chopper, ’cause there’s no way he’s in the right frame of mind to ride a bike.”
“Can I at least go see him now that you know I’m not about to do anything stupid?”
Nodding, Trellis relaxes. “Yeah. Just don’t expect anything; it’s not good.” Agreeing, I step around his long legs and toss him his sweater before venturing off towards the tent that houses my brother.
“Not my first Crown rodeo,” I say as I pass him.
“New rodeo, China. This one’s harsh.”
Approaching the tent, I take a deep breath to settle myself. I can’t very well go in there with tears streaming down my face and expect him to be contained. Unzipping the edge, I peer inside. The only light comes from the flames of the fire behind me, but it’s enough to see the outline of Wyatt in the corner.
“Cas?”
I wait, but no answer comes. Stepping inside, I close the zipper and move to kick off my boots.
“Don’t take them off.”
“Sorry?”
Quietly, Wyatt answers. “Don’t take off your boots. Spiders, snakes, and poisonous shit will climb inside them.”
“Okay. Boots stay on.” I tuck my pant leg back down over the edge of the boot.
“Good choice.”
“Thanks. How are you?” I ask as I advance on him. I have no doubt that he’s gonna look like shit. Before I even get near him, I can see it. His eyes are wide and bloodshot. He’s not really here. Well, not the brother I can reach at least. This is the Wyatt that’s untouchable and affected by every emotion, every touch, every bad word. I may be broken, but he’s destroyed.
“Doll, did you see it? Have you seen the footage? Trellis and the crew won’t give me anything.”
Unfortunately, I have. “I don’t think it’s best right now for you.” Walking closer, I sit and tuck my legs into the space he’s balled up in. Draping a loose arm around me, I feel every powerful muscle of his engaging. He’s tense, on edge, and st
rung tight.
“I can’t do it, Doll. I can’t be what she wants.” I know what she’s always expected of him, and I don’t see that changing just because Dad is gone. We all knew what would happen. This is going to change his life drastically if she has her way.
“I don’t know what to do to help you. Tre and I can’t make this better, Cas. No matter how broken we are, we can’t escape. We need to go home. And I’m afraid for you, but I can’t be the buffer. I’m not enough.”
Silence fills the tiny space as we reflect on the things to come, all the changes in store. Crown Racing and Crown Industries will feel the fallout from this void in our lives.
Wyatt the most.
WYATT
Waking up, I check my phone and find I’ve got thirteen missed messages. Two from Mother, which I’ll ignore for now. There are three from Ben, and then the one’s I’m most happy to see are the seven from Circe. Clipping off a quick reply to Ben, I scroll through the ones from Circe. Never in a million years did I think I’d find myself mooning over texting a woman, at least not after I’d already gotten her in bed, and I never thought I’d look forward to answering her.
Morning, Siren. I’m good. Sorry for scaring you and not answering. Bad reception.
It’s a lie, but I know it’ll be a better day. Laying on the cold gravel punching through my tent floor, it reminds me that I’m not the only one here. Doll, known for her cover thieving, is draped across the middle of the space, like a Starfish. I have a terrible urge to tickle her, but that will get me murdered, and laughing aloud will just wake her, so I move out slowly, stepping around her prone body. Unzipping the doorway, I move out into the brisk morning air and find Tre sitting at the fire with coffee in hand.
“Fuckin’ early, buddy,” I tell him as I close up the canvas entrance.
Picking up the coffee urn, he pours me a cup and hands it over. I take it graciously. “It’s not early now.”