Chapter Seven
Sage and I sat in our usual place at the side of the bar at Rooney's. On Monday night, with Jake and about ten of his buddies engaged in their monthly billiards tournament, Sage and I nursed a few beers. As expected on tournament night, the bar was exceptionally crowded. Marjorie and her crew of soccer moms gathered in the opposite corner, giggling while they drank their frilly cocktails. A few folks sat at the bar sharing appetizers.
Tonight was the night that I was supposed to be having dinner with Dax, had she accepted my offer. The fact that she hadn't and that I hadn't heard from her since she left for work yesterday reinforced the defeat I felt last night.
"You can go sit with your friends, Sage. I'm okay here."
"Will, c'mon. I'm not leaving you here alone." She nudged my elbow. "You know you can join us."
"They treat me funny."
"Because they try to include you and you're awkward about it."
"We have nothing in common."
"You have more in common than you know." She thumped her bottle on the counter. "Want nachos? I'm in the mood."
"Maybe. Yeah."
Sage ordered a second round of beers and some nachos for us to share. The guys behind us grew rowdy when two of them lost their place on the tournament charts. At nearly eight at night, they were about halfway through.
I picked on the nachos while Marjorie came over to chat with Sage about a school trip to the zoo in Seattle this week. At around nine, with people coming and going in varying intervals, burgers and pulled pork soaring around on trays, I didn't notice Dax right away when she appeared after holding the door for some folks. Unlike her usual entries, she didn't wear sunglasses and her vacant stride to the bar counter didn't follow. She scanned the room first, her gaze falling on me. The smile that made it to my lips lifted my spirits right away.
Dax slid her hands into the back pockets of her jeans as she sauntered her way toward the bar. I gestured to the empty spot beside me and her gaze flickered toward Sage then back to me. I cocked a brow at her, and she smirked while leaning on the bar counter at the far end. Andy slid a glass of whiskey and ice in her direction as if he expected her presence as always. She lifted it, and took a sip, her gaze on me while she did so.
We stared each other down, my eyes narrowed in her direction, but in this battle, she won. I broke our connection first and turned to Sage who was watching me with an amused smile. Marjorie stood beside her, arms folded, with a similar smirk.
"I'm gonna…" I jabbed my thumb over my shoulder and Sage nodded.
"You do you, boo." Sage grinned and patted my hand.
I lifted my beer and slid from my seat to sit with Dax at the far end of the counter closest to the wall. Hardly anyone ever sat there because of the divider that blocked the view of half the bar. I joined her, straddling the bar stool and leaning closer to her than usual. She smiled while she stared into her drink.
"Come here often?" I said and she laughed.
"So much worse than the gun line."
"Isn't it?"
"I regret something," she said, her thumbs brushing the rim of her glass.
My stomach clenched, churning with the disclosure. "What?"
"Saying that cell phones are stupid and not getting your number. I went to your house first, then mine, then your sisters when I should've checked here first."
"You were looking for me?" The notion surprised me and brought a blush to my face.
She nodded, though she still hadn't looked at me yet. "I wanted to tell you yes."
"Yes?" Hope lifted my question and she smirked, glancing at me then.
"Yeah. I'll have dinner with you."
"How about right now?" I slid sideways so that I bumped into her like a weirdo. It made her laugh softly, dropping one of her hands to her lap. Our bodies pressed together like two schoolgirls sharing a secret.
"Right now is good." To my surprise, her hand snaked over my thigh in a possessive display at best.
"Permission to lean into your touch while in public?"
"Granted." She met my gaze, her smile making it to her eyes that time.
I placed my hand on top of hers, and my fingers grazed the bracelet that she still wore. I rested my chin on her shoulder, and she dropped her head against mine.
In that moment, we both knew that the entire town would talk about the two of us. I didn't care and if Dax did, she didn't let it show.
"How about we share a rack of ribs and a burger?" I suggested.
"And fried pickles."
"Nachos? I can go steal them from my sister."
She laughed and glanced at Sage who had joined the group of women sitting in the huge booth around a square table.
"Nah. They're tainted with hetero. We'll order our own queer nachos."
I laughed and she gave my thigh a firm caress.
To say I didn't expect Dax to show up here and accept me in public would be an extensive understatement. When Andy returned to check on us, we put in our food order and he gave it to the waitress when she came by.
"Work is sometimes like that, where I have to run out," Dax said out of nowhere.
"Oh." My brow furrowed while wondering where she was going with that. "I mean, I kind of figured. You're a marshal."
"I'm not full-time or anything. It's as needed so random."
"I noticed you're not doing a nine to five thing…"
"Yeah. Works better that way."
"If it's any consolation, I get called away often as well. Albeit locally, but I get called away," I said, not quite sure why we were having this conversation, but it seemed important to Dax.
A few minutes later, the waitress returned with our plates of food and both of us ate quietly, like we hadn't had sustenance in awhile. Dax's usual silence remained even after we finished most of our dinner. She hardly downed her drink, which wasn't her usual either. I used some wet napkins to clean the barbeque sauce from my fingers and she watched me while sipping soda from a straw.
"What? Never seen a girl neaten herself up after a rib fest?" I teased, bumping her leg with mine.
"Nope. Can't say I have."
Ruckus broke out behind us when I assumed another group of the guys lost their place in the tournament. A few of the other guys bustled over to the bar for some drinks. Hugh dropped down beside me and clapped me on the shoulder.
"Spot me a twenty, Will? I need'a get back in the game," he said, and I groaned.
Dax tensed beside me, the hand she had on my thigh squeezing firmly. I let my hand fall on top of hers and she started but didn't pull away.
"You're a mooch, Hugh. Go ask Jake," I said, shoving him off me.
"C'mon, you're always good for it." He batted his lashes at me, folding his hands like he was about to pray and moved closer. "Please?"
Dax's energy surged, and the tight, tense posture she carried re-emerged. I dug in my pocket and flicked some money at Hugh. "Take a hike."
He caught it, beaming as he leaned in and smooched my cheek. "You're the best."
I pushed him off playfully then turned back to Dax. Her face had fallen to a frozen stare and she nearly writhed in her seat.
"He's my brother-in-law's cousin, Dax," I explained, hoping to defuse her fear.
I touched her hand again and she pulled away, her entire body recoiling now. "I have to go."
"No, no. Don't." I held my hands up. "On second thought, we'll both go. Okay?"
She nodded and I pulled the rest of the cash from my pocket, tossing it on the counter. Dax made me walk in front of her, and I glanced to Sage on my way out.
In the parking lot, Dax's boots pounded the pavement until we made it to her SUV parked beside my truck again. I stopped her before she could open the door, by holding it closed just like last time.
"Where are we going?"
"I don't care."
"Yes, you do or you wouldn't be upset. Yours or mine?"
"Mine," she said, pulling the driver's side door open. "Get in."
/> I climbed in and crawled over the console to the passenger seat. Dax entered after me, and started up the car. She pulled away, the tires skidding on the gravel as she tore out of there. White knuckles gripped the steering wheel and I watched her as she drove us back to the farm.
"Is it because he touched me?"
"I don't want anyone touching you," she spat through clenched teeth.
"I understand that, Dax. I do. Hugh is family. People are going to touch me sometimes."
"I don't want them to," she said, her voice clenched as if she fought tears.
"I'm not happy about anyone touching you either. Past or present."
She drove the rest of the way back to her place, at the speed of a cop with the heavy foot of one as well. We pulled up the long driveway, and she parked in front of her house. Again she made me walk in front of her as we headed into her place.
I hadn't noticed before, though looking around this time, I caught sight of the few cameras hidden in the various places that reflected the light back at me when she flicked them on.
"Come sit with me, Dax." I headed to the sofa, patting the spot beside me.
"No," she said, though I watched as she did it anyway. "Take off your shirt."
"I'll take off my everything if you let me hug you. Because Hugh touching me made you feel threatened and afraid." I leaned in so that she was forced to look at me. "Is that true?"
"I hate him," was all she said.
"And you hate Drew. And any man who touches without you wanting them to. I know."
"Take off your shirt," she demanded, though her eyes shimmered with tears.
"I take off my shirt, and you let me hug you. Is that the deal?" I asked, and she nodded. "Okay." Like last time, I removed my shirt and bra, then lay back on the sofa. I held my arms to her, waiting for her to give in.
Her chest rose and fell in quick breaths, and she pulled off her jacket to toss on the floor. She moved over me, her eyes on my breasts as she lowered herself down the way she had a few days ago. Her gun, ever-present at her hip, poked into my thigh when she lay between my knees.
"You're safe with me, remember?" I pulled the blanket from the sofa to drape around her, then very slowly, I wrapped my arms around her.
She settled against me as if we still hovered in the limbo of our last couch cuddling venture. Her hand fell to my stomach and after a few minutes, the tension faded and her crying quieted.
"Too angry to be a cop, just violent enough to be a marshal, too messy to be a friend," she said, her voice soft.
"You don't want friends anyway," I teased, and she let out a small laugh.
"Yeah."
"Next time we go to dinner, we'll go somewhere quiet. Just the two of us. Okay?" I ran my fingers through her hair and she nodded while toying with my nipple.
She tweaked it then rolled it between her fingers. As before, the fire returned to my belly and the pressure built between my legs.
"So when do I get to see your tits? Because I've been really looking forward to that," I said.
Again it made her laugh and she met my gaze. "Soon."
"Good. I'm also looking forward to kissing you. You know, no one has ever made me come before kissing me. That's a new experience."
"Willa." Dax's laughter continued and it only served to calm her down more. "I can always make it happen again."
"Oh, I'm very aware of that."
"Good." She rested her chin on my chest, and her legs uncurled from the fetal position so that she lay fully on top of me. "The night you slept over...I slept really well."
"I take it you don't usually."
"No." Her hand snaked down my stomach again, reaching behind the waist of my jeans.
"Hey." I gave her hand a swat. "None of that now. As much as I want you to, we're here right now to be together. To feel safe and connected."
"I liked making you feel good," she said, resting her head on my chest again.
"Every day you make me feel good, Dax. Every day with you has been better than any day I've had in a long time. Tears don't spoil the laughs we've had or the way you tease me constantly."
"You're so easy to tease." She smiled when she said it.
"You're so easy to care about." I ran my hand up and down her back. At first, she tensed, though she relaxed into it after. "Thank you for letting me."
"I don't want a friend," she said, brushing her lips over my chest.
"I don't either," I told her, running a single finger down the bridge of her nose. "I want a girlfriend. Do you?"
"What if it doesn't work out?"
"I'm willing to try. Are you?"
She nodded as she drew in a deep breath. "I am. You should know, I haven't been in a relationship for about six years."
"You should know that girlfriends are supposed to kiss each other. You ever gonna kiss me?" I snickered after I said it, and she gave my nipple a tweak. "Eek."
"I've wanted to kiss you for a long time."
"Why haven't you?"
"I want to kiss you when I'm not an emotional wreck. I want to save it for the moment I can't resist being close to you," she said in a bout of truth I never expected.
"I'm willing to wait for that." I ran my finger down her cheek, then my thumb over her bottom lip. "We'll take it slow. Okay?"
"Okay."
That was all it took for Dax to close her eyes again, the weight of her on top of me increasing as sleep found her. Like last time, I held her, though I wasn't afraid of touching her as much. I stuck to her upper torso and hair, and the two of us snuggled to sleep.
***
The next morning, I arranged for Doctor Harmon to take most of my routine patients while I spent the day with Dax. She slept well past nine, and when we finally got up, we made breakfast in the kitchen. Eggs, bacon, and toast cooked at the same time. I buttered the toast while Dax took care of the other.
"Go sit out back," she said, pointing to the rear door of the kitchen. I hadn't ever been out that door so I had no idea where she wanted me to go.
"I'm beginning to think that you're rather bossy," I said, lifting the plate of toast with the two dishes and utensils.
"I am." She waved me off and I made for the door.
The deck stretched off the back of the house and led to an inground pool. It remained covered and winterized for the time being. On the deck, a long bench lined the railing, and in the center sat a round table with four chairs. I set the dishes down adjacent to each other, then lay the napkins with utensils on the table.
When I looked out over the property, the mountains created a backdrop in the distance, followed by pretty trees, a blue sky, and the sound of the stream that ran into the lake. A thick tree in the backyard held a vast tree house, well-preserved despite the length of time I imagined it had been there. The view stole my breath, and I had almost forgotten what it was like to live here. For the first time since my return, I saw the beauty of rural life in the snapshot of a landscape.
Dax carried out the plate of eggs and bacon, along with some orange juice. "You look stunned," she said. "What's wrong?"
"It's beautiful here. I didn't know you had a pool."
"It's always been beautiful here. You just noticed?" she asked, serving both of us helpings of food.
I sat with her and poured each of us glasses of juice. "I think I just noticed."
"Esteban will open the pool in a few weeks. I didn't want it, but he insisted. We have a lake, who needs a pool?"
"You can swim naked in a pool without worrying about fish or parasites inhabiting your nether regions." I took a bite of toast while Dax laughed at me.
"I see you've thought it all out," she said, after a bite of egg. Without warning me, she grabbed my chair and dragged it closer to her.
"Well, hello." I wagged my brows at her while crunching on a piece of bacon.
"Hi." Her gaze faded toward the mountain, though her sock-covered foot snaked around my bare ankle. Unlike Dax, who wore a T-shirt and sweatpants for pajamas, I
had on a button-down shirt and pair of shorts that I borrowed from her. I dropped my head on her shoulder and to my surprise, she let me.
We ate the rest of our breakfast that way while listening to the chirps and caws of the birds as they went about their day. With a full belly and a calm environment, both Dax and I settled into the quiet. She leaned back in her chair, and I turned on my side with my knees tucked to my chest. With no arms on the chairs, the space between us closed with ease. Dax rested her head against mine as we looked out over the land.
A tractor started somewhere in the distance and I imagined that Esteban got to daily tasks. Dax's hand fell to my knee, then moved in a gentle caress down my thigh.
"You're a little cold," she said.
"Just a little." I tucked my knees closer to her and she continued to rub my legs.
"When I was with Josh those few days," she began, drawing my attention to her. She held her gaze straight ahead and she kept her arm around me while continuing the warming strokes over my thighs. "He kept me close to him with a gun against my head. He would touch me gently, then do something to hurt like a pinch or twist my skin. Or poke me with a knife."
"Touch became unpredictable for you after that?" I held my hand to her and she took it while nodding.
"I would never do that to you. Just holding you like this makes me wonder how someone could hurt another person like that." Dax's cheek pressed against my forehead. "I'd never want you to feel that way, that I would hurt you."
"Are you worried about hurting me?" I ran my finger back and forth over her wrist.
"I am."
"If anything ever makes me uncomfortable, I'll tell you. I promise," I said, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.
"I've never told anyone these things. Not the details anyway." She paused after that, her body falling still beside me.
"You're worried about telling me what happened to you will hurt me just the same," I surmised and she nodded. "I want to understand what happened, Dax. To understand so that I can help you heal. Because that's what relationships do. We heal the fractured parts of each other."
"It shouldn't be one-sided."
"It's not. You're helping me heal just the same." In a brazen gesture, I placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. A smile tugged the corner of her mouth and she looked at me.
Hart & Stocker Page 10