"Dax! Be careful of your ribs." I squeaked, and reveled in her playfulness. When I righted myself again, so many faces watched us with happy smiles. The scorn I feared from this community never came, and it made me realize that my skewed perceptions belonged only to my fear.
Sage draped her arms over both of us when she appeared, smiling from ear to ear. "You two are so gross."
"Leave them alone, asshat." Marjorie thwapped Sage upside the head. "They're the cutest."
"I agree." Kellee pounded her fist on the counter. "More beer!"
"You going to sing for me?" I grinned as I nibbled Dax's ear while hugging her.
"Fuck no. Do you even know me?" She swatted my rear and I cracked up. "Buy me a beer, cowgirl. We're in for a long night."
"Yee-haw."
Dax and I returned to the farm after dinner and a few rounds of karaoke, only to be greeted by her sweet little goats. We spent some time with them, watching them leap around their enclosure off the wooden toys Esteban built. Carol looked on, her head hanging over the paddock as if amused by the goofballs. When they settled to grazing their dinner, we swapped over to Carol's area, and Dax stroked her mane.
"It's nice out. Want to take her for a trail ride?" she asked. "Esteban left her saddle out for me."
"Sure," I agreed, watching Dax as she affixed the saddle on Carol, then mounted it afterward. She scooted back, then held her hand down to me. "In front?"
"I like you in front."
"Yes, bossy." I slipped my foot in the stirrup when she removed hers, then hoisted myself up with her support.
In the larger saddle, we sat more comfortably than we had the first time. Dax took the lead, urging the horse to the gate before leaning down to release it. As if used to the routine, Carol stepped out of the way when the gate swung out, then followed the path toward the trail. Once we hit flatter land, I leaned back against Dax and she rested her chin on my shoulder while Carol led the way.
"She's used to this ride," I commented.
"She is. The familiarity soothes her. There are parts of it where I have her trot and she remembers, then does it on her own."
"Smarty."
The evening air smelled fresh of summertime plant life, and the sounds of escalating cricket song permeated the area around us. It relaxed me, and I found myself melting into Dax more so.
"Hart and Stocker," she said, then hummed the rest of the tune in my ear. I laughed softly, giving her arms a squeeze.
"Like that, did you?"
"Yes. I loved it. You make me happy, Willa. I didn't think I'd ever feel happiness again, and then you turned up and showed me," her voice a soft croon in my ear.
"Right back at you, baby." I turned my head and kissed her cheek. "Even in the scariest moments, because of you, the past few months have been the best of my life."
"Me too." She pressed her lips against my shoulder.
"You know, you probably shouldn't be on a horse with a concussion." I laughed softly as I reached back to stroke her cheek.
"You'll catch me if I fall." She grinned, turning her head to kiss my wrist. "Do you work Saturday?"
"Technically no, but Harmon is having the adoption fair. I should probably be present as, you know, the owner of the practice." I smirked at the thought of dozens of people crowding up the clinic. "Fortunately, he's using his sister's rescue program for it so it's less formal."
"What kind of adoptions?"
"Dogs and puppies. Want to come with? You can play with them all day and not have any responsibilities except to make them look cute. Sage and Macie are volunteering."
"Sure. Does making them look cute help?"
"Oh yeah. People playing with the dogs makes them appear more enticing. Especially kids. Macie is going to be the star of the show. I think Marjorie's little girl is coming as well."
"Macie's going to want a puppy."
"I know. Sage is a firm no on that so there may be an end of day tantrum, but the rest of it should be good."
"I'm in. Will you come with me to support group tomorrow night?" she asked, her voice soft.
"Of course." I started when Carol began to trot. Dax gripped me tighter, and we settled into the stride. "Is it a special meeting?"
"No. I'd just like for you to come."
"Of course, honey. Maybe we can meet Sali and Maggie for dinner after? Maggie text me to ask if you were okay. Did you ignore Sali's texts?"
"I did."
"How come?"
"I always ignore texts."
"Not mine."
"You're different."
"What'd she say?" I asked, glancing around the woods as they grew darker well after sunset. As if Carol read my mind, she made a circle around a tree stump and began heading back along the path of the lake.
"Said she heard what happened and she was glad I was okay. She doesn't expect a text back. She knows I see it."
"Still. Neither of us have friends who aren't my sister and her friends so let's keep the two of them around. What do you say?" I laughed when she gave my stomach a firm poke.
"Fine. I'll text her back." She bit down on my shoulder and I squirmed. "You talk to Maggie?"
"A little bit, yes."
"About what?"
"You."
"Do not."
I chuckled and swatted her hand. "Do so."
"Well, I sent Sali a pic of your tits. So there." She snickered and I gave her three swats for that.
"Dax! Don't start trouble with the married folk."
"She sent me a pic of Maggie's so we're even."
"I take back the friend assertion! We're divorcing them if you're going to show off the bits of your significant others."
"I like bragging about you." She laughed and gave Carol a gentle tug to prevent her from trotting again. As it grew darker and the sounds of the woods louder, my nerves kicked up a bit. "What's wrong?"
"It's really dark."
"Carol can handle it."
"But cougar and bears…"
"I have a gun, baby." She gave my stomach a gentle caress, then pulled a flashlight out from somewhere. "Here."
"Where'd you have that?"
"It clips to the holster." She showed me how to turn it on and I shined the bright beam ahead of us. Carol's stride remained the same and I settled into Dax's arms again. "You're still a city girl."
"A little, yeah. Nighttime freaks me out a bit with the depth of the darkness."
"Safe with me," she said, kissing the side of my neck.
"Safe with you." I smiled as her words wrapped me in warmth like a soothing blanket. Dax's adoption of my mantra became sort of a meditative practice for the two of us. Carol led us back home, and I closed my eyes, listening to the sounds of the woods, coupled with the soft breaths of my love in my ear.
***
"I can't believe your niece named her dog Brexit," I said while Dax and I sat around the table of the Asian-fusion restaurant with Maggie and Sali.
"Ben blames her grandmother." Maggie chuckled before taking a mouthful of sushi. Sali scrunched up her face, glaring at the dish in front of her wife. "What's with the face?"
"That shit's gross, Mags. Raw fish and vegetables. Blegh. Seaweed of all things." Sali pretended to gag and it made us laugh.
"Shut up and eat your plate of pork ribs with a side of beef." Maggie shoved her shoulder and Sali flailed dramatically.
"Damn right." Sali flipped her off and Dax nearly snorted her soda. "So, Dax, tell us how you took out that fugitive with your cranium again."
"Mistakes were made," Dax said, still laughing. "Stairs were leapt."
"Harsh, dude." Sali scowled, then bit into a rib. "Sexy Cowgirl is happy you didn't smash your teeth out."
"I agree with said sentiment." I laughed along with them. Dax seemed perpetually entertained by Sali which encouraged me as well. "Said cowgirl also feels left out of the fugitive tackling stories. How'd you all get into law enforcement? I mean, I know how Dax did, but you guys." I gestured to Maggie and Sali.
"You go first, babe." Sali lifted her rib off her plate. "I'm busy."
"So kind and thoughtful." Maggie narrowed her brows at her wife then returned her attention to me. "I was in the Army first. Got hurt while deployed and when I came back, finished my criminal justice degree. Then applied to Seattle P.D. Eventually worked in cold case, then homicide before retiring."
"Wow. That's a lifetime of careers in a short time," I said, my heart squeezing when I heard even the fragments of her career tale.
"Shortest story ever, Mags. That doesn't do you an ounce of justice." Sali grimaced after licking her fingers.
"She asked how I got into it, not how it nearly killed us and made us miserable." Maggie laughed hard, her tan complexion reddening with it.
"Touché." Sali lifted a single finger in the air.
Dax shook her head at them, her chronic smirk returning to her lips as she finished off her chicken dish.
"Sali, how about you?" I asked before they got too far off course.
"Same with studying criminal justice. My dad was a cop so I went right into the academy as soon as I could, finished my degree after. Was a beat cop for years," she said, using a wet napkin to wipe her hands. "Then promoted to homicide detective then cold case. Opposite path of Maggie."
"What's a beat cop?" I asked.
"Stocker, you haven't trained your girl up at all." Sali pointed at me while glaring at Dax.
"She doesn't need to know that shit," said Dax, frowning at Sali for the first time.
"She does if she wants to know what you're talking about when around your friends."
"No." Dax attempted to end the conversation there, but Sali wasn't an easy sell.
"Yeah. She does. You walk around with a gun strapped to your hip and a badge in your pocket even when you're off duty. As long as she's on your arm, she should know the basics about your job." Sali cocked a challenging brow at Dax. My gaze flickered to Maggie, whose lips pursed to a thin line. Dax said nothing so Sali continued. "You know the cocktail for failed law enforcement relationships is secrecy. Get it together, Stocker."
That did it. Dax looked to me, a fragment of panic hidden in the way her eyelids twitched. "A beat cop is a uniformed officer who walks the beat, patrol."
"Like you were before you became a marshal?" I asked, sliding into it with ease.
"Yeah." She ran her fingers through her hair and slunk away from the conversation into quietness again.
Maggie and I shared a glance, but it was Sali who kept at Dax.
"She doesn't need to know gory details, but when you have a bad day, it's your obligation to be open with her about how you feel." Sali knocked on the table to get Dax's attention away from staring at the dishes. "We get hurt. We get shot at. We kill suspects. The minute you're in pain, she will feel it too and she'll walk around wondering what she did wrong. Remember that."
Dax nodded, her eyes falling on me. "Okay."
"Okay," I agreed, reaching forward and stroking my thumb over her bottom lip. "I understand what she's saying."
"Yeah." She nodded, and her hand snaked over my leg again like it had at the bar.
Sali seemed satisfied with her imparted wisdom and met Maggie's gaze. The two of them shared a small, knowing smile.
Although Dax's semi-quiet continued, it didn't prevent her from remaining present with us through the rest of the evening. While we walked back to our cars along the water's edge of the bay, Sali stepped away from Maggie to capture Dax in a conversation. The two of them walked ahead of us, leaving Maggie and me in their wake. Whatever Sali said to her, Dax's posture tightened as she slipped her hands in the pockets of her bomber jacket.
"You're worried about her," said Maggie, drawing my focus from the women ahead of us.
"Of course. Don't you worry about Sali?"
"Every day. It's a part of being in love with someone," she said, her voice soft. "Of caring about them and for them."
"I looked up Sali's maiden name," I admitted. "All of that really happened to her and to you?"
"All of it." She nodded, and tucked her hands in the front pocket of her jeans not unlike Dax does when she's experiencing something deeper. "Despite that, we're happy. So happy and we have amazing friends and family."
"You and Sali have taken a special interest in Dax."
"So has Nora. The others in the group, their injuries were devastating to their lives and well-being, I don't doubt that. But Sali, Nora, and Dax, theirs was psychological as much as it was physical. Nora says we heal from that in a community. It's proven true for Sali. We hope it does for Dax as well."
"She's been doing a lot better. If her mother hadn't been around when she was in the hospital briefly, I'd say she'd be even better for it."
"Unsupportive family complicates things further." Maggie paused, gazing ahead at our partners. "But they're strong."
"They are. And so are you. You knew Dax as a beat cop?"
"I did."
"What was she like?"
"Sharp, funny, and well-liked. She talked a lot more."
"I imagine so… Did you also know the guy who hurt her?"
"Briefly. He was one of those cops that everyone thinks is different. Played basketball with kids on the street. School resource officer for a bit. Friendly. All around nice guy. And yet…"
"Would you have suspected him to be crazy like that?"
"No." She glanced at me, her eyes somber. "I wouldn't have."
"Why did he do that to her?" With my question came an upsurge of emotion that I didn't expect. A lump rose in my throat and I forced myself to swallow the tears that burned my eyes.
"Why does anyone hurt another person? We just don't know the answers to those questions, Willa. We can dwell on it and obsess over it, but truthfully, we'll never know," she said, her hand falling to the middle of my back in a supportive gesture. "The most we'll ever get is educated guesses."
I swiped at the single tear that managed to escape. "What's your educated guess?"
"The only answer I've ever been able to come up with is that some people are the embodiment of evil. He was just one incarnation," she said, wrapping her arm around my shoulders. "Know how you heal from being touched by evil?"
"No." I sniffled, trying to stay as quiet as possible. "How?"
"By being reminded of the good and experiencing it for yourself." She pointed at Sali. "That woman there, she's my good. I try to be hers."
"I want to be Dax's good," I said, taking a deep breath and tightening my posture. Maggie smiled, her sharp blue gaze bearing into me like beacons of declaration.
"You already are."
Chapter Twenty
"So many puppies!" Nellie squealed with delight as a gaggle of pups licked her to death while she rolled around on the grass in their pen. I laughed at her as I brought bowls of water into each of the three pens that held half a dozen puppies each, and two single pens had older dogs lounging in them.
Doctor Harmon, and his sister Avalon wove through the families that joined us for the adoption fair. The vet techs set up a refreshment stand on one side of the grassy area behind the clinic, and a vendor area on the other where adopters could each choose a bag of food, a collar or harness, a leash, and a toy.
"Doctor Hart," Avalon called out when I approached. "Thank you for hosting this. Our goal is to get them all adopted today." The woman, as spry as a pixie with her small stature and short hair, nearly bounced with delight. "Think we can?"
"Well, I sure hope so. We've got dozens of families coming through already."
"My girls told me that we've got three confirmed adoptions already. They're doing the background check data now," she said, smiling from ear to ear.
"That's great news." I grinned as I watched Macie bolt up the driveway and nearly dive head first into one of the pens. Sage had to grab hold of her. "Are they all mutts?"
"Almost all of them, yes. Arthur examined all of them before we agreed to have them here for the event and every pup is healthy. One
of them had mange, but he's been treated. They're all vaccinated and if they're old enough, spayed or neutered. The young ones will need more." Avalon walked me through the rows of people, and told me about each puppy. "These guys are from a rundown puppy mill."
"I see that. Pitbull mixes?"
"Pitbull, German Shepherd, and Lab. These guys are a random sampling of that mix, so we're not totally sure," she said.
"Well, they're absolutely adorable." I bent over the edge of the pen and pet each of the puppies as they greeted me. "Hi, babies. You're so cute." I laughed as one of them peed in the grass with his excitement.
"Auntie Will!" Macie barreled over to me. "Can I play with them?"
"Yes, you can. Where's Ella?" I asked, crouching down beside Macie.
"She's there." She pointed behind her where Marjorie and Sage approached with the little girl. "Mommy said I have to be gentle."
"Yes. Very gentle. Ready to play?" I stood up, holding my arms to her.
"Yeah!" She squealed as I lifted her into the pen with the puppies. Ella joined her a moment later and the two of them had at it.
Avalon laughed at the kids who made the puppies even more playful. "This is going to be great."
"I like your positive attitude. I'll join you in it," I said, grinning at her. "Sage, Marjie, this is Avalon. She owns the rescue."
"Nice to meet you." They both shook hands with her one after the other.
"Sage, this is your pen. Keep the parties interested. I'm going to show face for a bit." I pointed to where Doctor Harmon greeted a huge group of kids and adults who showed up. In the mix, Dax and Joanna appeared from the side door carrying small food plates. They made their rounds and fed each of the puppies and dogs while I schmoozed with the visitors.
I loved helping animals and soothing the worries of pet owners, but I was never one to enjoy the politics of events. I didn't like being the only town vet, or the only anything the way my parents did. Dad loved being the most important veterinarian the same way Mom loved being the town doctor for years until the town expanded. In Seattle, I worked my job and did my best. I loved my patients the same way I do now. But at the end of the day, the practice managers dealt with things like payroll and emergencies. Now it was all me. Adding Harmon to it made things easier and I wondered what it would be like to add another.
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