by Farlow, LK
Stella gives him a thumbs up. "Smart man."
I move to the couch as if on autopilot, perching myself on the edge of the cushion. My hands tremble as I reach for the envelope. It’s larger than your standard bouquet-card. Much larger.
My hands tremble as I slide my finger beneath the flap and slide the contents from within it into my hands.
Emmalyn,
I have so much I want to say to you. So much I need to say.
Before I plead my case, I need you to know something…
While you were in the hospital, I took care of things. I took care of Rob. That jackass will never hurt you again. I made sure of it, with a little help from my dad.
That might have crossed some boundaries, but I’d do fucking anything to keep you safe. Anything.
I understand, after everything that’s happened, if you never forgive me, but please know I will love you always, and I'll be here for you no matter what.
If you find it within your heart to give me a second chance, I'd count myself the luckiest man on earth.
Yours,
Sterling
“He…he’s gone?” I ask as a whole host of emotions divebomb my heart.
Sterling stops what he’s doing and turns to fully face me. “Yes, Emmy, he’s gone.”
“And he’s not coming back? Not ever?”
“Not ever.”
I debate asking him more, but honestly at this point, I’m so relieved to know I’m out of Rob’s reach, I just…don’t. I’m sure I’ll eventually grow curious, but today’s not that day.
"Thank you," I whisper, sagging back against the couch. "For everything.” I swipe my index fingers beneath my eyes, wiping away my tears. “The flowers are beautiful.”
"I'm glad you like them. I picked each bloom myself."
"Why?"
"Well," he says, taking one sandwich from the microwave and swapping it for another. "The purple hyacinth, because it symbolizes asking for forgiveness. Yellow lilies because I'm thankful you're still here. The roses, I imagine are fairly obvious. And, the daffodils are for new beginnings. I know they don't really go together—the florist damn sure tried talking me out of it—but they all mean something and, yeah." He shrugs, trying to play it cool.
Meanwhile, I'm on the verge of tears over his thoughtfulness.
"The package next," he reminds me.
I don't know how anything could top the flowers, but I tear into it all the same.
A delighted smile lights up my face when I see the contents inside of the box. "Are you serious?" I ask.
"Very much so."
"Sterling!"
"What? I know you like them."
"This is too much," I say, gesturing to the package, which contains at least six packs of Oreos, all in different seasonal flavors.
"Speak for yourself," Stella says tartly. "I'll gladly help you eat them."
I roll my eyes at her and thank him. "Seriously, this is too much."
"There's no such thing as too much when it comes to you. Now, onto the basket."
I untie the bow from around the top of the gift basket, letting the cellophane fall away. Inside, there's an insulated mug with mountain peaks etched into it, along with the words feels like home. There are also several bags of coffee from Holy Roasters along with a gift card and a new hoodie that's softer than anything I've ever felt before.
"Thank you. So much."
"I think there's one more thing," he says, trying to sound nonchalant.
I glance back down to the basket, and sure enough there's a lanyard of some sort. As I grab it, I notice there's a key dangling from the end. "What's this?"
"A key to my place."
"What? Why?"
"Don't panic, baby. Consider it a safe space if you ever need to get away. The locks have been changed, and that key there is the only spare. I also have a new security system."
My heart pitter-patters, doing a happy little dance in my chest. "Thank you."
He simply smiles in response.
The microwave dings, and Sterling grabs the final sandwich. Stella and I quickly move everything to the floor so we can eat. A happy quiet settles over us, and for the first time in a long time, contentment flows through me.
"What do you have planned for today?" Sterling asks once we finish eating.
I shrug. "I guess I need to find a therapist. And figure out stuff for my classes. Oh, God, I can only imagine how behind I am."
"Hey, I'll help you get it sorted out, okay?"
I smile gratefully. "But before any of that, I need a shower. I was too tired yesterday, and I swear, I can feel the hospital on my skin."
"We'll clean up out here," Stella says, gathering our plates.
"Thanks." I grab my new hoodie before darting into my room for a pair of jeans and a bra.
I'm already anticipating the relief the hot water will bring to my sore muscles, but the second I'm inside, panic floods my system.
My skin feels too tight for my body, and the walls feel like they're closing in on me. My vision pinpricks, and I can't seem to take in a full breath.
Suddenly, flashes of me lying on the floor, fading away to nothing, assault me.
A broken sob spills out of me as I crumble to the floor. "Oh my God," I cry, holding my knees to my chest as I rock in the fetal position.
The bathroom door bursts open, and Sterling rushes in and pulls me up into his strong arms. "Oh, baby. I'm so sorry."
I'm crying too hard to respond.
He walks us out to the couch and sits, keeping me on his lap and his arms locked tightly around me. His touch is the only thing grounding me right now, the only thing keeping me from completely breaking down.
"I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this," I whisper over and over, clutching at his shirt.
He whispers soothing words into my ear, while Stella watches on helplessly.
Sterling continues to hold me, rocking and whispering, until finally, I regain some sense of composure.
"How am I supposed to stay here?" I wail.
"Don't," Sterling says, "don't stay here."
My heart sinks. He wants me to leave.
"Move in with me."
Just as fast, my heart soars, buoying itself to the surface. My brain, however, quickly shuts it all down. "I don't know if that's such a good idea. It seems really sudden, and I don't want to make any rash decisions." I'm trying to be logical, but it's hard when my entire being is practically begging me to say yes.
"I don't know...maybe a change of scenery would be good," Stella says. "I know I'm not a therapist, but I don't know how conducive to your healing it will be to stay here."
Sterling nods in agreement.
"I don't know. I just... don't know."
"How about this?” he says, easing me onto the cushion next to him. "The unit next door just went on the market. Why don't you rent it?”
"It's probably really expensive."
He grins like he knows something I don't. "I know the landlord personally. Something tells me he'd give you a deal. And if it's too much for you and Stella, y'all could get a third roommate."
Stella nods eagerly. "I think we should consider it, babe. I really do."
"I'll think about it. That's the best I can offer."
Chapter Forty-Five
Sterling
I watch in rapt fascination as Emmalyn wakes.
It's the fifth time in as many days that she's woken up to me in her bed, thanks to her recurring nightmares. As much as I love the fact that my presence calms her, I'd do about anything for the nightmares to just stop.
"Sterling?" Her voice is thick with sleep.
"Good morning, little mouse."
She looks up at me and blinks, once...twice...and then sighs. "Again?" she asks, frustration chasing away any and all vestiges of sleep.
"Again."
She closes her eyes and rolls to face me, burying her head in my chest. "How many times is that now? God, I just want to be normal."
"Hey, it's okay."
"It's not okay! I feel so broken."
"You're not broken, Emmy. That much I know."
"I think...I think y'all were right. Staying here isn't good for me. I think I need to get away."
"I think that's a good idea. Do you mean for a while or for good?"
She doesn't answer me right away, so I know she's taking my question to heart. "Both, I think."
"My family has a cabin in Tennessee. We could go there."
"Really?"
"Really. And, if you're serious about getting away for good, maybe while we're gone Gabe and Zach could help Stella move y'all into the unit next to mine?"
"I'd have to talk to Stella."
"Talk to me about what?" asks Stella, popping her head into the room.
"Stalk much?" I ask, but I'm laughing.
"Hey, I was making coffee and heard my name."
"Emmalyn and I were talking about y'all moving in next to me. I suggested Gabe and Zach could help you move everything while I took our girl to my family's cabin."
"And I"—Emmalyn cuts her eyes at me—"was telling him I couldn't make those kinds of decisions without talking to you."
"Oh, I am totally down. Let's blow this popsicle stand."
"Are you sure?"
"One-hundred-and-ten percent. And I know the guys will be down to help me move our stuff. You just take care of you. Go to the cabin, relax and recharge. Read a book on a bearskin rug in front of the fire."
"I thought you were supposed to make love in front of the fire?" Emmalyn asks.
"Now, there's a thought," I murmur in her ear.
"Oh my God! I cannot believe I just said that."
"I'm just saying, baby. You want to give that a go, I'm down." My tone is light and teasing, but I'm half serious, too.
It's only been five days since Emmy came home, and I'm respecting her need for time. But it is driving me fucking insane to sleep next to her every night without touching her.
I've got blue balls like a motherfucker, but I know she'll return to me. I also know that when she does, it'll be mind-blowing and oh-so-worth the wait.
"Okay, let's do it."
"There's no rug here. Or fireplace."
She rolls her eyes and laughs. "I meant let's go to the cabin. And...let's move."
It takes everything in me not to fist pump. "Y'all want to get started on packing and I'll head home and pack a bag for the cabin?"
Stella answers for them both. "Yup. It's basically just clothes and a few odds and ends."
"Oh!" Emmalyn cries. "We don't have furniture."
"You're in luck," I say, lying through my teeth. "It comes furnished."
Emmy and Stella exchange grateful glances and then Stella says, "Sounds like it was meant to be."
"Something like that," I mutter, wondering how fast I can get furniture delivered. And if I can get the blond giant and his boyfriend to set it all up.
Something tells me I can; I'm pretty sure those two would do anything for my girl. And if they were anyone else, that notion would piss me the hell off, but with them, I don't mind.
"Well, at least I'll never have to see Melanie again." She frowns. "Unless I run into her on campus."
"Baby... Did no one tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
"Jelly Melly isn't here anymore," Stella says, sounding ridiculously pleased.
"What?"
"Turns out when Rob was here, he followed you for a few days and somehow made friends with her. She helped him with stuff. And yeah, she was relieved of her RA duties. Her parents were so furious they pulled her from school."
"She's practically grown," Emmy says, furrowing her brow. "Why would her parents care?"
"Rich people." Stella shakes her head. "They didn't want her ruining their good name. Sent her ass to Europe. Poor thing."
Emmalyn rolls her eyes. "Sounds about right."
"Summer was in on it, too. She quit, but no one knows where she went."
"Good riddance, if you ask me," Stella mutters.
I stand from the bed.
"Where are you going?" Emmalyn asks, pouting.
"To pack a bag. I'll be back in two hours to pick you up."
"Okay. Drive safe."
"I will." I pause right outside her door. "Oh, and, Emmy?" She looks up at me. "I love you."
Her cheeks go pink. "I love you, too."
Chapter Forty-Six
Emmy
"I'm really proud of your progress, Emmy," says Holly, my therapist. "You've come leaps and bounds.”
I laugh softly under my breath. "Still got a long way to go."
"And that's okay. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Do you remember what we discussed, about what to do when you feel overwhelmed?"
"Yeah, I remember."
"Good. Employ the things we've discussed, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised with the results, okay?"
I nod.
"Great. Same time next week?"
"Yep, see you then." I do an awkward little finger wave before ending the video call and packing up my laptop.
I linger for just a moment before taking a deep breath and stepping out of the bedroom.
"How'd it go?" Sterling asks, standing from the chair he was seated in.
"It was good. We talked about a lot today. Unpacked a lot, too."
"I'm so proud of you, baby."
I can tell he wants to say more, to reach for me, to kiss me and touch me. There's a longing in his steely gray gaze that reflects that of my own.
Ever since coming to his family's cabin two weeks ago, we've been dancing around each other, but neither one of us has made a move.
Aside from sleeping wrapped around one another and a few soft kisses, we may as well be completely platonic friends.
At first, it was to protect myself, and then it was to protect him—I didn't want to jump back with both feet only to have another breakdown and drown him right along with me. But now...now I'm ready.
My heart, brain, and body are all on the same page, and they're shouting for me to claim my man and my happily ever after.
Holly thinks it's okay, too. Not that her opinion is the be-all-end-all, but it's nice to have her on board.
"So, I have a surprise for you tonight." He rocks back on his heels, a boyish look flitting across his handsome features.
"Do you?"
"Well, since it's our last night at the cabin, I figured I could grill us a nice steak dinner and maybe we could check out the hot tub."
I have to bite my lips to stop from grinning. Looks like we're both ready to take things up a notch, because I know for certain neither of us brought a swimsuit.
"That sounds really nice," I murmur, and he leans in, pressing a soft kiss to my lips.
I'm half-tempted to deepen the kiss here and now, but Sterling pulls away before I can. The man must have the self-control of a saint. I know he's been trying to respect me, but I also know he's got blue balls like whoa.
But tonight... Tonight everything's going to change.
Tonight, we're going to get back on track.
Tonight, I'm going to show him exactly how much I love him, how much I trust him, and how much I want to be his.
Not that I ever really stopped being his. Not really.
"Do you mind if I take a bath first?"
"Go for it, baby. I'm gonna go ahead and start grilling, if that's cool with you?"
"It's perfect."
He leans in and kisses me once more. "Come find me when you're done."
* * *
"Mmm." I inhale deeply as I step out onto the deck. "Something smells good."
"Gonna taste good, too." Sterling winks at me from behind the grill. "You want to run inside and grab us some plates and the salad I made?"
"So fancy."
His lips quirk up into a smile. "Your therapist said a healthy diet's good for your physical and mental health."
"That she did," I say, secretly touched by hi
s thoughtfulness, before turning and heading back into the house.
When I step back outside, I'm blown away. Somehow, in less than five minutes, Sterling's managed to light like a bajillion candles.
Okay, so like, twenty. But still.
They're spread out, with a few along the deck rail, two tall ones on the table, and the rest scattered around the hot tub.
"Ster," I breathe. "This is magical."
He smiles, but doesn't say anything. Not about the candles, at least. "Ready to eat, little mouse?"
I nod, and he takes the plates and salad from me before pulling out my chair. I serve us each some salad while he pulls the steaks from the grill. "Made some eggplant, too."
"It smells and looks so good."
"Dig in."
I saw off a bite of steak and moan as the flavors of butter, garlic, and rosemary burst across my tongue. "Oh my God."
Our eyes meet over the flickering candlelight, and a calm settles over me. Being here, with him, just feels right.
"How are you feeling about everything, about school?"
"Mixed emotions. A little sad, but also like it was the right choice."
"An incomplete is better than failing out."
"Agreed."
"And you get to start fresh next semester."
"Also true."
"I'm proud of you, Emmy. Truly. You're amazing. An inspiration, really."
I roll my eyes, but I'm smiling. "Flattery will get you everywhere, Sterling Abbot."
"Everywhere, you say?"
"Everywhere."
"Well, then, let's finish up dinner and let that flattery take us to the hot tub."
We push back our chairs and stand at the same time, both of us clearly ready for what's to come.
Without any preamble, I shove my leggings and panties off, followed by my sweatshirt and bra. Sterling stands, slack-jawed, as I climb into the bubbling water.
"Aren't you going to join me?" I ask, pouting out my lower lip.
"Fuck yes." He scrambles to undress, nearly tripping in his haste to get to me.
As soon as he's seated, I climb onto his lap, straddling him.
His hands move to my hips, holding me in place. "Emmy, baby, are you sure?" he asks, his voice an octave or two deeper than usual.