Everything is there. The divorce, the bankruptcy, the battle with ALS, everything except the fact that she’s actually dead.
“You really didn’t know this was out there?” Kristine questions. I mutely shake my head, reading the articles so fast, my head starts pounding as I feel the slow throb of a migraine coming on.
The detailed accounts of Nancy’s medical history is all there and precise. How the hell did they get this? Who would give the tabloids this? They also talk about Nancy like she led a scandalous life, alluding that there are other secrets in her closet.
What other scandals? Who leaked this?
“Well, at least that didn’t come out the other day, before the party,” Kristine goes on, waving a hand in the air as she speaks. “It would have made one hell of party and not to mention, the last day of school would have been hell for you.”
Life is already hell for me.
“But then again, your summer is about to get out of control if you’re not careful.”
She’s right of course, but I’m not concerned about what’s going to happen tomorrow because I’m stuck on today. The sky is falling down on me and there’s nothing I can do about it.
Who leaked all this information? Is it Julian? My stomach churns as my heart beats erratically inside my chest like it’s rioting. Would he do that? Would he serve Nancy up like this to the tabloids like I made the mistake of talking about Aiden?
But if he did, why would he tell me he loved me? Is this his idea of love?
No, Julian didn’t do this. It takes someone more cunning, much more ruthless and sinister to do this. But Julian is all those things and more. Do you even know the guy?
I want so bad to say I do know him, that I’m certain he’d never do something as evil as this, but I can’t get what Nicky warned out of my head.
“Kristine, what’s going on at school?” I demand as she plops down on the couch. It’s only now that I notice how disheveled the living room is, like a tornado rushed through the place, upending drawers, leaving magazines and papers scattered everywhere. “What happened in here?”
“We’re moving.” Is her only response, I wisely choose not to push, it’s none of my business anyway. “But you didn’t come here to ask about my shitty life, right?”
I’m used to bitchy Kristine, sure, but this girl, the one who looks lost, confused and strung high as if she’s on something, this girl is hard to read. She’s got anger and hate brimming like a cesspool in her hazel eyes, the cleverness from before is gone, like the light was snuffed out of her.
“You didn’t come here to ask that, right?” she grits out, fighting not to look vulnerable or emotional as she says that, and I know why. She doesn’t want to treat me any differently just because I know one of her biggest issues right now.
“Right,” I mutter, glancing at her swollen belly and she sighs.
“Well, everyone’s saying you’re a Fitz whore. I mean, we all saw how you handled them both, the way they looked at you at that party, it was so clear.”
A Fitz whore? Me?
Jesus Holy Christ.
“Of course, there are so many speculations of what actually went down after the cops came, but now the word is the Matthews brothers are fighting the Fitz brothers over you.”
“That’s not true!” I deny vehemently. I know as much as anyone that high school rumors are vicious, but this is one is disgusting, and I want no parts in it.
“Yeah, I believe you.”
“You do?”
“Yeah,” she mutters, eyeing me with a careful eye. “Don’t get me wrong, at first I thought that Shane was in love you and he was going to fight Liam and Julian over you but then no, I realized something.”
My heart starts beating wildly again, the blood in my veins swooshing in a rush above the pounding as I stare at her.
“And? What did you realize?” I question, dread seeping into my bones.
“It’s was more of paying attention than a realization, Mia.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know exactly what I mean.”
Kristine pulls her hair up into a messy bun, and that’s when I see the red swelling around her neck, like someone recently tried to strangle her.
Holy fuck!
Chills race down my spine as I stare at the marks. Who would do that to her?
“Actually, I don’t,” I whisper. “I don’t know what you mean.”
Kristine rolls her eyes, making gagging sounds from her throat. “Your naivety isn’t cute anymore, Mia.”
“I’m being honest, Kristine. I don’t know why Shane and his psycho brother are coming after me. I don’t know why you helped them. I don’t know anything at all.”
“But you do know the Fitz brothers,” she accuses, her eyebrow raised. “And they seem to know you, very well from what Liam Fitzgerald said at that party.”
I refuse to acknowledge that so I stay mute.
I knew the Fitz brothers were going to bring a world of trouble to my little, crumbling world. I knew that but urgh, I hate that I didn’t listen to my gut.
I hate that I chose to go along with it just because Liam sent a few charming smiles my way and checked in on me like he cared.
I don’t want to think about Julian and how he faked everything with me. If I do, I’ll start crying. And if I start crying, I won’t stop. There’s too much shit, too much pain, too many emotions that I don’t want to feel.
No, I want to hold on to this numb feeling for as long as I can.
“Oh well, whether you confirm it or not, everyone saw and heard everything at that party and there are two things I know for certain. Either you’re a fool for letting them use and discard you like they have done to legions of girls.”
She stares at me, as if waiting for me to cry and confess that she’s right and that I’m heartbroken that they used me. The truth is, I am heartbroken, they might have used me, but if there’s anyone I’m going to tell about that, it’s the two brothers who will have hell to pay the next I see them for doing all this shit to me. Not her.
“And the other thing?” I prompt.
“You have a death warrant.”
She says the words so cavalier, pushing up from the couch then she starts moving around the messy living room, picking random items and straightening the room like she didn’t just drop a dime on my head with that mess.
“What does that mean?” I whisper.
“I mean exactly that, keep up will you?” she mutters. “Why else would you involve yourself with them, making yourself the most envied and most hated girl ever. At school the boys are calling you a traitor and the girls, well, they’re all in line with the R.A.C.K.”
“The R.A.C.K?” I mutter, thinking back to the dead stare Roxy gave me before she stormed out of the party.
“Yeah, it looks like you chummy-buddy days with those bitches are over. Kendra is out of your neck.”
“Kendra?” I frown. I thought it was…
“Yeah, apparently she said she and Liam are a thing, used to be a thing, I don’t really know the specifics but you didn’t poke the beehive, Mia, you shook it up. Violently, might I add.”
The fuck?
“How did I do that?” I question. “I didn’t do anything to Kendra.”
That girl has never been on my radar in anyway. How is it that’s he’s on my case now? Also, her and Liam?
“Well, there are pictures of you kissing Liam that were leaked this morning as well.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake. Another leak?
“What pictures?”
“Come on, Ice Queen, I know you remember that party Rye, Jaz, you and me went to some what, two, three years ago?”
Shit, I remember that party of course. I remember everything that happened. How could I forget when my night started with dancing and kissing Liam to fighting with Julian?
“See the thing here is, those pictures weren’t out there before and if those pictures are out now, what do you think the R.A.C.K are go
ing to leak out next?”
She doesn’t have to spell it out for me, I can see where this is going. This means the Roxy, Kendra, Charlotte and Avery obviously have images of me topless, skinning dipping at that same party. And knowing how cold hearted they were, they could leak those at any time. But, they wouldn’t dare, would they?
“You do know that between the four of them, they know every juicy, dark, dirty secret that happens in this town, right? It’s like they are the Marie Antoinette of blackmail.”
Fuck! It makes sense now. Just a few weeks back, Julian’s fling, Casey, harassed me after ballet rehearsal but the R.A.C.K said something to her and she left all red faced and angry. Do they have something on her? Do they have something else on me? Could they be the ones who leaked this mess about Nancy?
“Oh God.”
“I doubt he’ll answer you,” Kristine mocks. “So many people have been waiting for this.”
“For what?”
“The moment you fall, Ice Queen.”
Of course, they have.
“Like you, huh?” I mumble.
“My priorities in life have since changed, Mia,” she silently admits, looking at me with such despair in her eyes, I feel it in my stomach.
“Kristine…” I whisper and she shakes her head, stepping away, but I press on. “What happened to you? Who did this to you?”
“I can’t…” she cries now, and I rush to hold her.
In this moment she isn’t a foe, she was never my enemy though, it doesn’t matter who she is because she needs someone with her.
“You need to go back to them,” she cries pulling away to look at me, holding my upper arms with a tight grip.
“What?”
“The Fitzgerald brothers, you need to go back to them.”
“Kristine…”
“I saw the backpack you came in with. I see the way you’re dressed. Your mom is gone, isn’t she?”
How does she know? I look away, shutting down instantly. I don’t want to admit that last part to her. I don’t want her to see the guilt churning in me, making me sick to the stomach.
I killed her.
“I’m so sorry for your loss, Mia, but you need to go back to them. You’re not safe out here. Especially here with me. They might come back,” she says hurriedly.
“They? Who is they, Kristine?”
“You know who.”
“The Matthews…”
“Shh, don’t mention their name, Mia. They’re looking for you. Julian beat Sean up pretty bad and now they’re out for blood, this time for real.”
That fear is back in her eyes again, awakening mine. I hate that someone so strong as Kristine has been reduced to this.
“I don’t care about that. It’s not my war. What are they doing to you?”
“Don’t pretend like you don’t know, Ice Queen,” she chuckles bitterly, taking a step back. “You can see it in my appearance, you probably can smell it in the house.”
Yes, I can.
It’s drugs.
“Kristine, whatever it is—” I start but she cuts me off.
“You can’t help me, you have to help yourself. You need to make sure they don’t get their hands on you,” she says quickly walking over to the backpack I left in the corner and comes back with it. “I have no idea what the situation is between you and the Fitz brothers, but they seem to care for you. They have never done what they did for you at that party. I saw the way they looked at you, even Cole Perry gazed at you like you mean something to him.”
“No…”
“Go back to them, they’ll protect you.”
She pushes the bag into my arms—just like Nicky did a few hours ago—and starts ushering me to the door with a quickness to her movements, like she can’t stand me being in her house a second longer.
“But, Kristine…”
“Mia, you’re not stupid or dumb. I know you can sense the danger around, and I know you think you’re strong enough to take them on, but you can’t. Not when they’re like this.”
I hate the fear in her voice, and I hate that it’s making chills race down my spine.
“Go, run away if you have to, whatever you do, make sure you’re with them because if Sean or Shane find you, they will hurt you. And it won’t be just to teach Julian and Liam a lesson, but because they want to retaliate on you.”
“On me? Why?”
“Because they couldn’t control you and you stood them up.”
I glance at her bruised throat, then up into her dead eyes. They broke her.
“What they did to me is child’s play compared to what they have planned for you if they get you, Mia,” she whispers hotly. “If I were you, I’d get as far away from Palos Verdes as I can and never come back!”
She pushes me toward the door, but fuck, I can’t just leave her here.
“But Kristine you can’t stay here alone.”
“Mia, I swear to God if you come back here, I’ll tell them where they might find you. I bet you are living with the Fitz brothers, aren’t you?”
“I don’t live there anymore.”
“Yeah but it’s all the confirmation they’ll need to hunt you down now that you’re homeless.”
And with that, she opens the door and practically pushes me out then she slams the door in my face, leaving me stunned with shivers rolling down my spine.
They’re coming for me and the only people that might help me are the ones I ran away from.
What do I do now?
10
That afternoon, I decide to get a room at a four-star hotel and try to gather my thoughts on what to do next.
On my way there, I stop at some random shop that I wouldn’t have been caught dead shopping in just two years ago but now, I just don’t give a damn, besides, the fact that I’m wearing a hoodie in this weather, helps to hide me.
I don’t bat an eye when the cashier looks at me funny when I pay with a hundred.
I don’t bat an eye when I book the room with my new-fake identity.
I don’t bat an eye when I realize that on the documents Nicky gave me, I’m nineteen years old when in fact, I’m still seventeen.
I just take it all in stride and go up to my room, feeling…nothing.
I look around the hotel room, noticing the tasteful decorations and lavishly styled tones all over room and sigh. I might be homeless and hopeless, but there is no way I’m going to hide out in some stuffy motel where three-dollar whores do their business.
Dropping the three shopping bags full of clothes and toiletries as well as the backpack Nicky gave me, I stand in the middle of the room, completely alone.
Alone.
Lonely.
Is there a difference?
Whatever the hell it is, it’s an oppressive feeling that weighs down heavy on me. I’ve never been good at being alone. In one capacity or the other, I’ve always had someone around, but this, this is different on so many levels.
That numb feeling in my chest is fading bit by bit and now that there’s nothing but a loud, menacing silence around me, and without a particular agenda in mind, the gates to my personal hell might break loose on me and I don’t want that.
Pushing all that aside, I take out the pre-paid phone I bought and then power it on. I fish out the piece of paper with the number from the backpack. I have no idea whose number this is, but I have to believe that this is my lifeline. Why else would Nicky put it in there?
When the phone starts ringing, I wonder then what’s going to happen. Who will pick up the phone?
“Mia,” the voice whispers hotly as soon as the line picks up and I almost jump in relief. “Mia, are you there?”
“How did you know it’s me?” I rush, my heart thundering in my chest.
“You’re the only I gave this number to,” Nicky whispers, her voice low like she’s hiding somewhere. “Are you all right? Where are you now?”
I look around the hotel room with LA just outside the window. Do I tell her the truth?
/>
“On a bus headed for Chicago.”
The lie just falls from my lips and I wince at the unfamiliar taste of it on my tongue.
There’s silence for a bit, like she knows I’m lying. Please, don’t call me out on it.
“Okay, you didn’t buy the ticket as Mia, did you?”
“No.” I quickly say, dread tightening my insides. “What’s going on? You didn’t give me any answers.”
“Mia, I can’t talk right—”
“No!” I shout, panic rising in me as everything that has happened in the past seventy-two hours slams into me, weakening my knees. This is too much. “You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to just send me away in the middle of the night and not tell me why.”
“Baby—”
“Why?” I grit out. “I’m going out of my mind, conjuring shit that doesn’t make any sense.”
She sighs on the other line, and I can feel her agitation.
“Okay. What do you want to know?”
Everything. But for now, I’ll start with a simple one. “Did I really see dad strike you last night?” I croak, disbelief still coursing through me but at the back of my mind, there’s something there… a familiarity that scares the hell out of me.
“Yes,” she whispers.
Oh God.
“Was that the first time he did that?”
“No.”
Have I been living a lie this entire time?
“Did he do that to—” I trail off, unable to finish the question as an ache sears through me, until I start trembling.
“To my sister?” Nicky continues, blowing out a breath. “I would like to tell you that it didn’t happen. That your father is a good man. That he isn’t an abusive, power hungry jerk, but he is.”
Oh God.
“Why don’t I know this?” I whisper, something bitter and brittle lodged in my throat as my nose tingles. I don’t want to cry, but I’m close. God, I’m so close to breaking down and I know when it finally happens, there’s no stopping it. “How could I not know who he was?”
“Because you chose to forget.”
Cruel Kisses: It’s Just High School #2 Page 11