A Voyage to the Moon

by George Tucker

  CHAPTER XI.

  _Lunarian physicians: their consultation--While they dispute the patientrecovers--The travellers visit the celebrated teacher Lozzi Pozzi._

  While I indulged in these sad meditations, and felt for my host while Ifelt no less for myself, I saw the physician approach who had been sentfor. He was a tall, thin man, with a quick step, a lively, piercing eye,a sallow complexion, and very courteous manners, and always willing todisplay the ready flow of words for which he was remarkable. I feltgreat curiosity to witness the skill of this Lunar Aesculapius, and hewas evidently pleased with the interest I manifested. It turned out thathe was well acquainted with the Brahmin; and learning from the latter mywish, he conducted me into the room of our sick host. We found him lyingon a straw bed, and strangely altered within a few hours. The physician,after feeling his pulse, (which, as every country has its peculiarcustoms, is done here about the temples and neck, instead of thewrist)--after examining his tongue, his teeth, his water, and feces,proposed bleeding. We all walked to the door, and ventured to oppose thedoctor's prescription, suggesting that the copious evacuations he hadalready experienced, might make bleeding useless, if not dangerous.

  "How little like a man of sense you speak," said the other; "how readilyyou have chimed in with the prejudices of the vulgar! I should haveexpected better things from you: but the sway of empiricism is destinedyet to have a long struggle before it receives its final overthrow. Ihave attacked it with success in many quarters; but when it has beenprostrated in one place, it soon rises up in another. Have you, my goodfriend, seen my last essay on morbid action?"

  The Brahmin replied, that he had not yet had an opportunity of meetingwith it.

  "I am sorry you have not," said the other. "I have there completelydemonstrated that disease is an unit, and that it is the extreme offolly to divide diseases into classes, which tend but to produceconfusion of ideas, and an unscientific practice. Sir," continued he, ina more animated tone, "there is a beautiful simplicity in this theory,which gives us assurance of its conformity to nature and truth. It needsbut to be seen to be understood--but to be understood, to be approved,and carried into successful operation."

  The Brahmin asked him if this unit did not present different symptoms ondifferent occasions.

  "Certainly," he replied: "from too much or too little action, in thisset of vessels or that, it is differently modified, and must be treatedaccordingly."

  "This unit, then," said my friend, "assumes different forms, andrequires various remedies? Is there not, then, a convenience inseparating these modifications (or _forms_, if you prefer it) from oneanother, by different names?"

  "Stop, my friend; you do not apprehend the matter. I will explain." Atthis moment two other gentlemen, of a grave aspect and demeanour,entered the room. They also were physicians of great reputation in thecity. They appeared to be formal and reserved towards one another, butthey each manifested still more shyness and coldness towards the learnedShuro. They entered the sick chamber, and having informed themselves ofthe state of the patient, all three withdrew to a consultation.

  They had not been long together, before their voices grew, from awhisper, so loud, that we could distinctly hear all they said. "Sir,"says Dr. Shakrack, "the patient is in a state of direct debility: wemust stimulate, if we would restore a healthy action. Pour in the_stimulantia_ and _irritentia_, and my life for it, the patientis saved."

  "Will you listen to me for one moment?" says Dr. Dridrano, the youngestof the three gentlemen. "It may be presumption for one of my humblepretensions to set myself in opposition to persons of your age,experience, and celebrity; but I am bound, by the sacred duties of thehigh functions I have undertaken to perform, to use my poor abilities insuch a way as I can, to advance the noble science of medicine, and, inso doing, to give strength to the weak, courage to the disheartened, andcomfort to the afflicted. Gentlemen, I say, I hope if my simple viewsshould be found widely different from yours, you will not impute it to apresumption which is as foreign to my nature as it would be unsuited toyour merits. I consider the human body a mere machine, whose parts arecomplicated, whose functions are various, and whose operations areliable to be impeded and frustrated by a variety of obstacles. There is,you know, one set of tubes, or vessels, for the blood; another for thelymph; another for the sweat; and so on. Now, although each of thesefluids has its several channels, yet, if by any accident any one of themis obstructed, and there is so great an accumulation of the obstructedfluid that it cannot find vent by its natural channel, or duct, then youmust carry off the redundancy by some other; for you well know, thatthat which can be carried off by one, can be carried off by all.Gentlemen, I beg you not to turn away; hear me for a moment. Then, ifthe current of the blood be obstructed, I make large draughts of urine,or sweat or saliva, or of the liquor amnii; and I find it matters littlewhich of these evacuants I resort to. This system, to which, withdeference to your longer experience, I have had the honour of givingsome celebrity in Morosofia, explains how it is that such variousremedies for the same disease have been in vogue at different times.They have all had in town able advocates. I could adduce undeniabletestimonials of their efficacy, because, in fact, they are allefficacious; and it seems to me a mere matter of earthshine, whether weresort to one or the other mode of restoring the equilibrium of thehuman machine; all that we have to do, being to know when and to whatextent it is proper to use either. Determine, then, gentlemen,--you, forwhose maturer judgment and years I feel profound respect,--whether weshall blister, or sweat, or bleed, or salivate."

  Dr. Shuro, who had manifested his impatience at this long harangue, byfrequent interruptions, and which Dridrano's show of deference couldscarcely keep down, hastily replied: "You have manifestly taken the hintof your theory from me; and because I have advanced the doctrine thatdisease is an unit, you come forward now, and insist that remedy is anunit too."

  "You do me great honour, learned sir," said Dridrano. "Surely it wouldbe very unbecoming, in one of my age and standing, to set up a theory inopposition to yours, but it would be yet more discreditable to be aplagiarist; and, with all due respect for your superior wisdom, it doesseem to my feeble intellect, that no two theories can be more different.You use several remedies for one disease: I admit several diseases, anduse one remedy."

  "And does not darkness remind us of light," replied Shuro, "by thecontrast? heat of cold--north of south?"

  "Gentlemen," then said Shakrack, who had been walking to and fro, duringthe preceding controversy, "as you seem to agree so ill with each other,I trust you will unite in adopting my course. Let us begin with thiscordial; we will then vary the stimulus, if necessary, by means of theelixir, and you will see the salutary effects immediately. A loss ofblood would still farther increase the debility of the patient; and Iappeal to your candour, Dr. Shuro, whether you ever practisedvenesection in such a case?"

  "In such a case? ay, in what _you_ would call much worse. I was not longsince called in to a man in a dropsy. I opened a vein. He seemed fromthat moment to feel relief; and he so far recovered, that after a shorttime I bled him again. I returned the next day, and had I arrived halfan hour sooner, I should have bled him a third time, and in all humanprobability have saved his life."

  "If you had stimulated him, you might have had an opportunity of makingyour favourite experiment a little oftener," said Shakrack.

  "You are facetious, sir; I imagine you have been using your own panaceasomewhat too freely to-day."

  "Not so," said his opponent, angrily; "but if you are not more guardedin your expressions, I shall make use of yours, in a way youwon't like."

  Upon which they proceeded to blows, Dridrano all the while bellowing, "Ibeg, my worthy seniors, for the honour of science, that youwill forbear!"

  The noise of the dispute had waked the patient, who, learning the causeof the disturbance, calmly begged they would give themselves no concernabout him, but let him die in peace. The domestics, who had been forsome time listening to the
dispute, on hearing the scuffle, ran in andparted the angry combatants, who, like an abscess just lanced, weregiving vent to all the malignant humours that had been so long silentlygathering.

  In the mean while, the smooth and considerate Dr. Dridrano stept intothe sick room, with the view of offering an apology for the unmannerlyconduct of his brethren, and of tendering his single services, as theother sages of the healing art could not agree in the course to bepursued; when he found that the patient, profiting by the simpleremedies of the Brahmin, and an hour's rest, had been so much refreshed,that he considered himself out of danger, and that he had no need ofmedical assistance; or, at any rate, he was unwilling to follow theprescriptions of one physician, which another, if not two others,unhesitatingly condemned. Each one then received his fee, and hurriedhome, to publish his own statement of the case in a pamphlet.

  The Brahmin, who had never left the sick man's couch during his sleep,now that he was out of danger, was greatly diverted at the dispute. Buthe good-naturedly added, that, notwithstanding the ridiculous figurethey had that day made, they were all men of genius and ability, but haddone their parts injustice by their vanity, and the ambition oforiginating a new theory. "With all the extravagance," said he, "towhich they push their several systems, they are not unsuccessful inpractice, for habitual caution, and an instinctive regard for humanlife, which they never can extinguish, checks them in carrying theirhypotheses into execution: and if I might venture to give an opinion ona subject of which I know so little, and there is so much to be known, Iwould say, that the most common error of theorists is to consider man asa machine, rather than an animal, and subject to one set of the laws ofmatter, rather than as subject to them all.

  "Thus," he continued, "we have been regarded by one class of theoristsas an hydraulic engine, composed of various tubes fitted with theirseveral fluids, the laws and functions of which have been deduced fromcalculations of velocities, altitudes, diameters, friction, &c. Anotherclass considered man as a mere chemical engine, and his stomach as analembic. The doctrine of affinities, attractions, and repulsions, nowhad full play. Then came the notion of sympathies and antipathies, bywhich name unknown and unknowable causes were sought to be explained,and ignorance was cunningly veiled in mystery. But the science willnever be in the right tract of improvement, until we consider,conjointly, the mechanical operations of the fluids, the chemical agencyof the substances taken into the stomach, and the animal functions ofdigestion, secretion, and absorption, as evinced by actual observation."I told him that I believed that was now the course which was actuallypursued in the best medical schools, both of Europe and America.

  Our worthy host, though very feeble, had so far recovered as to dresshimself, and receive the congratulations of his household, who had allmanifested a concern for his situation, that was at once creditable tohim and themselves. Expressing our gratitude for his kind attentions,and promising to renew our visit if we could, we bade him adieu.

  We took a different road home from the way we had come, and had notwalked far, before we met a number of small boys, each having a bag onhis back, as large as he could stagger under. Surprised at seeingchildren of their tender years, thus prematurely put to severe labour, Iwas about to rail at the absurd custom of this strange country, when myfriend checked me for my hasty judgment, and told me that these boyswere on their way to school, after their usual monthly holiday. Weattended them to their schoolhouse, which stood in sight, on the side ofa steep chalky hill. The Brahmin told me that the teacher's name wasLozzi Pozzi, and that he had acquired great celebrity by his system ofinstruction. When the boys opened their bags, I found that instead ofbooks and provisions, as I had expected, they were filled with sticks,which they told us constituted the arithmetical lessons they wererequired to practise at home. These sticks were of different lengths anddimensions, according to the number marked on them; so that by lookingat the inscription, you could tell the size, or by seeing or feeling thesize, you could tell the number.

  The master now made his appearance, and learning our errand, was verycommunicative. He descanted on the advantages of this manual, and ocularmode of teaching the science of numbers, and gave us practicalillustrations of its efficacy, by examining his pupils in our presence.He told the first boy he called up, and who did not seem to be more thanseven or eight years of age, to add 5, 3, and 7 together, and tell himthe result. The little fellow set about hunting, with great alacrity,over his bag, until he found a piece divided like three fingers, then apiece with five divisions, and lastly, one with seven, and putting themside by side, he found the piece of a correspondent length, and thus, inless than eight minutes and a half, answered, "fifteen." The ingeniousmaster then exercised another boy in subtraction, and a third inmultiplication: but the latter was thrown into great confusion, for oneof the pieces having lost a division, it led him to a wrong result.

  The teacher informed us that he taught geometry in the same way, and hadeven extended it to grammar, logic, rhetoric, and the art ofcomposition. The rules of syntax were discovered by pieces of wood,interlocking with each other in squares, dovetails, &c., after themanner of geographical cards; and as they chanced to fit together, sowas the concordance between the several parts of speech ascertained. Themachine for composition occupied a large space; different sets ofsynonymes were arranged in compartments of various sizes. When thesubject was familiar, a short piece was used; when it was stately orheroic, then the longest slips that could be found were resorted to.Those that were rounded at the ends were mellifluous; the jagged oneswere harsh; the thick pieces expressed force and vigour. Where thecurves corresponded at one end, they served for alliteration; and whenat the other, they answered for rhyme. By way of proving its progress,he showed us a composition by a man who was deaf and dumb, in praise ofMorosofia, who, merely by the use of his eyes and hands, had made aningenious and high-sounding piece of eloquence, though I confess thatthe sense was somewhat obscure. We went away filled with admiration forthe great Lozzi Pozzi's inventions.

  Having understood that there was an academy in the neighbourhood, inwhich youths of maturer years were instructed in the fine arts, we wereinduced to visit it; but there being a vacation at that time, we couldsee neither the professors nor students, and consequently could gainlittle information of the course of discipline and instruction pursuedthere. We were, however, conducted to a small _menagerie_ attached tothe institution, by its keeper, where the habits and accomplishments ofthe animals bore strong testimony in favour of the diligence and skillof their teachers.

  We there saw two game-cocks, which, so far from fighting, (though theyhad been selected from the most approved breed,) billed and cooed liketurtle-doves. There was a large zebra, apparently ill-tempered, whichshowed his anger by running at and butting every animal that came in hisway. Two half-grown llamas, which are naturally as quiet and timid assheep, bit each other very furiously, until they foamed at the mouth.And, lastly, a large mastiff made his appearance, walking in a slow,measured gait, with a sleek tortoise-shell cat on his back; and she, inturn, was surmounted by a mouse, which formed the apex of thissingular pyramid.

  The keeper, remarking our unaffected surprise at the exhibition, askedus if we could now doubt the unlimited force of education, after such adisplay of the triumph of art over nature. While he was speaking, themastiff, being jostled by the two llamas still awkwardly worrying eachother, turned round so suddenly, that the mouse was dislodged from hislofty position, and thrown to the ground; on seeing which, the catimmediately sprang upon it, with a loud purring noise, which being heardby the dog, he, with a fierce growl, suddenly seized the cat. Thellamas, alarmed at this terrific sound, instinctively ran off, andhaving, in their flight, approached the heels of the zebra, he gave akick, which killed one of them on the spot.

  The keeper, who was deeply mortified at seeing the fabric he had raisedwith such indefatigable labour, overturned in a moment, protested thatnothing of the sort had ever happened before. To which we replied, byway of cons
olation, that perhaps the same thing might never happenagain; and that, while his art had achieved a conquest over nature, thiswas only a slight rebellion of nature against art. We then thanked himfor his politeness, and took our leave.