by J. L. Ostle
I burst out laughing. “Yeah, they are pretty amazing. I bet you have to beat away the girls with a stick. I’m sure they’re even queuing to get to you,” I say sarcastically but he just beams at me.
“It’s a hard life being me at times. But if you need a bodyguard during this, just say and I will keep you safe at my side.”
I smile, chuckling. “I will keep that in mind, thank you.” He nods in response.
Once the movie is over, Elijah turns and faces me while someone stands and turns on the light. “You were grinning through most of that. Should we be scared?”
I laugh. “I enjoy a good horror. Wait until you see me watch the Saw movies. I smile like the Cheshire Cat when I see all that gore. The guts getting spilt, blood pouring from their ripped off heads.” I smile even bigger.
“I said you were dark and this just proves it. I will be sleeping with one eye open tonight.” He chuckles and stands. “Would you like another drink?”
I pass him the empty glass from the floor, thanking him.
Kimberly snickers. “I think that’s just messed up, enjoying people getting tortured and killed.”
“Like you torturing people every day at school?” I ask her.
“I.Dont.Kill.People.” She says it slowly like I’m some sort of idiot.
“You.Torture.People,” I say slowly back.
The bicep kissing guy stands in the middle, putting out his arms. “Hey, we’re having a good night here. Let’s decide on another movie and stop bickering. What is with girls being bitchy?”
I tilt my head to the side, looking up at him. “Us being bitchy. You guys can be assholes. We use our words, not our fists.”
“Yeah, you use your words all right. Do you know how much I have to listen to them?” He points to the girls. “Bitching about every single person every single day. It’s tiring. I probably know what’s wrong with every person in our school through their eyes.”
“Everyone has flaws. No one is perfect. We shouldn’t be called out on it.” I sit back.
Kimberly laughs but it’s more like a cackle. “Talk for yourself. I’m probably close to perfect.” She flicks her hair and I roll my eyes.
“You are nowhere near perfect. You have to rely on make-up, hair extensions, fake tan, and I can tell you’ve had a nose job.” She gasps, holding her nose. “Without all that, would you still be telling us that you’re close to perfect?” I lean forward a little on my elbows.
“I look good no matter what. At least I didn’t come down here looking like a homeless person.”
I shrug. “I don’t care how I look. At least I’m comfortable. I’m comfortable in my own skin. If you feel the same, take all that crap off your face. Wash away all that make-up. Pull out those extensions and let’s see how you feel. The people you mock and make feel shit about themselves are natural beauty. I bet on the inside they are even more beautiful. As for you.” I wave my hand up and down her body. “I’m sure you’re real ugly on the inside.”
She stands up, stomping over. “How dare you speak to me like I’m beneath you? Yes, I like to look beautiful. There is no crime in that. Don’t sit there acting like you’re a saint. I’m sure you’re anything but. You talk about we’re all bitches and assholes, but I bet you’re just like us in some way. Don’t judge me, us, just because you think you’re a goody-goody.”
“Kimberly,” Lucas warns her.
“No! She is allowed to say what’s on her mind and her opinion of how we are but if we do the same, we’re assholes. I’m not going to sit there and let her talk to me like that. If anyone ever talked to me the way she does you would have let me deal with it. What makes her so different? Because she won’t open her legs to you, is that?” Her voice rises.
Lucas glares at her. “Don’t make me repeat myself.”
She pushes him. “In five days, she has been a pain in my ass. You may have made a deal with her. I don’t care if the pact gets broken, but I’m going to deal with her my own way. You always said you deal with the boys; the girls at that school are mine. I asked you to leave Joey alone, remember him?” She shouts. “You are being a hypocrite. You say you want order, but this isn’t it. Go ahead and let her sit at our table, join our parties, but remember, Lucas, all it takes is for me to go to my daddy dearest and you will be stuck with me for life once we graduate. So don’t you dare start giving me warnings.” She growls at him.
With her for life?
“Kimberly.” This time his voice is softer but still stern.
“No. You know what I’m capable of. When I’m ready, I will get my own back. I’m not letting this freak take my place. Now you have all been warned.” She looks me dead in the eye and for a second I swear I saw red in them. “Girls, let’s go.” Mercedes and Chloe stand and join her side. “See you tomorrow at the party.” Then she’s gone.
I sit there twiddling my fingers, feeling awkward. She is right. I spill all my thoughts about her, about them. I have no issue telling them how I feel, what I don’t like about them, what I find wrong with them, and when she does it back, I see it as her being a bitch. It was me who was being a bitch to her. Telling her she was ugly inside. Telling her she wouldn’t be as pretty without all her hair and make-up. I was being cruel. No girl should be spoken to like that.
“What did she mean you would be stuck with her forever?” My voice is weak.
Axel stands and kneels down in front of me sighing. “Kimberly’s dad and Lucas’ dad are very close. They grew up together and they have always wanted them to get together, and something happened on the business side of things. Basically, if Kimberly clicks her fingers and tells her dad she wants to marry Lucas, then it’s done. Lucas has no choice. Well, he does. If she wants to marry him and he says no, he will lose everything. His trust fund, his money. Everything.”
I try and wrap my head around it. “I was told she was after you. That it was you two who were destined to be married after graduation.”
Axel chuckles. “Yeah, the joys of rumors. They got the wrong guy. She likes power, but because they grew up together, she said she wouldn’t force him. I think as long as she was the head girl of the group, she was content. But obviously she sees you as a threat. With her using the daddy card it means she will do something to you to feel better about herself, or she may calm down and let us keep our deal until the two weeks is up.”
“Even after all this you still want to keep our agreement? Your friend is obviously upset. Yeah, I hate her, but you don’t. If I back away then she will leave me alone, I will leave you all alone and we move on with our lives.” Surely they can see this is getting out of hand. Especially when this is over me spilling water over Lucas.
Lucas stands. “The pact stays. I will handle Kimberly. Two weeks. As agreed or we put the price on your head onto Aisha’s. You can all leave.”
He starts to walk towards his room. I run after him, blocking his way. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Kimberly is your childhood friend and you are so concerned about power and control, about making me miserable, that you’re willing for your friend to walk out of here upset, hurt, and angry. I would be upset if my friend chose a stranger over me. Over our friendship.”
His jaw sets, his eyes scowling. He steps in closer to me. “Stop trying to put your moral values onto us. You see everything as black and white. You want to hate us, but guess what? I know different. Now leave and be here tomorrow at eight for the party.”
“You asshole.” There was me thinking our little talk in the bedroom before would have changed things. I opened up to him and it was falling on deaf ears. I make sure to slam his front door as hard as possible. I stomp over to the elevator, pressing the button when I remember it’s broken.
I stormed up the steps to my floor and when I reach my door, I slam that closed too. I know I’m being childish now, but I am so frustrated with all this. I was even feeling bad for Kimberly in the way I treated her, even though she treats me like shit anyway.
I walk into the middle
of the room and start jumping up and down. After a few minutes, I hear banging from below. I screech, falling to my knees, punching the floor, pretending it’s him.
I’m still pounding away when there’s a knock on my door. Shit, did I disturb my neighbors? Feeling defeated, I hang my head for a moment before answering. When I see who is standing there in front of me, I groan.
Chapter Twenty
“Getting all that pent-up frustration out, are ya?” Elijah leans against my door frame.
“I’m not in the mood for you to make jokes. I am not in the mood for any of you.” My head is starting to hurt. I think I have a migraine coming on.
He scratches the back of his neck. “Listen, what happened down there. It all got out of hand. Kimberly was jealous. She feels like she’s getting pushed out. Lucas and Kimberly have always been close. He calls her Kimmy. Lucas, well, he doesn’t like being told what to do, hence why we vote for most things so it doesn’t make him feel that way. I think he is enjoying someone standing up to him and he doesn’t want to let that go.”
“Elijah, you do know how messed up all this is. I am forced to hang out with people I don’t really like. You all treat people like dirt. To make sure my only friend doesn’t get the brunt of it, I have to do this all because I poured water over a guy for grabbing me, caging me into a table full of strangers and treating me like a lapdog. I just want a quiet life. And I don’t like how I am when I’m with any of you three.” My voice sounds tired.
He nods and shrugs. “You don’t think we all know how fucked up this is? We always say to each other that this is ridiculous but with Lucas being the stubborn ass that he is, he won’t let go of what you did in front of the whole cafeteria. I’m not saying what Lucas did was right, but he heard that some girl upset his childhood friend. He was defending her honor. If you didn’t do what you did, yeah, this wouldn’t be happening right now, but it is. We are all just going through the motions. I also think because we’ve only got a few months left here, Lucas and Kimberly are sucking in as much power play as they can, as in the real world, they won’t get to again. Well, not any time soon anyway. They will have to follow other people’s rules.” He pauses. “Thanks, by the way, for saying you hate me.” He chuckles.
I laugh a little. “I don’t hate you when you’re being nice. You all have your moments when I see a side that I like. A side I wish didn’t exist. But because you’re in this group, it’s like you all have to act like assholes. That’s the parts I hate about you all.”
“I get it. We didn’t really like you when we first met you. Asking if we were basically going to rape you.”
I groan into my hands. “Yeah, that probably was a bit far. Sometimes my mouth has a mind of its own.” I look up and his eyes are on my mouth before he looks away. “My mouth gets away with me. If my walls go up, I talk in a way so no one will mess with me.”
“Yeah, I have noticed that.”
I wrap my arms around my middle. “Did you just come up here to defend yourselves?”
“Something like that.” He pauses. “Everyone down there is my friend. We have been for years, some longer than others. When we’re at school, we act a certain way. People watch us. When it’s just us, we can be who we truly are. We can relax. Lucas decided on this movie night for you. He won’t admit it, but he did. He knew you would be by yourself tonight as your friend is still ill. It means in his weird way he does care for you, but he would never admit it or show it. But his control, his power will always be his number one. No matter what. He is going to have words with Kimberly to make sure she leaves you alone as that girl can be quite imaginative. Just do as he says, don’t talk back, then after two weeks we will leave you alone.”
“Will you though? After two weeks, you won’t try and speak to me, try and be near me? Try to trick me so we end up right here again?”
“You have my word. Just follow suit then we won’t speak to you, and we won’t acknowledge you.”
Why did those last words hurt a little? I clear my throat. “I will keep my opinions to myself. My mouth will be closed.” He nods, about to turn when I say his name. “What happened to Joey?”
“Joey was a guy Kimberly fell for. He didn’t fit into our world. Lucas didn’t think he was right for her. He started to fight back when Kimberly started choosing the group over him, and as you know, Lucas doesn’t like people trying to fight him. He never loses.” With that, he is gone.
I close the door and take a seat on the couch. The banging is still happening below me. I ignore it. Lucas ruined a relationship for Kimberly. Just because he didn’t fit into their circle. He doesn’t want her, but he doesn’t want anyone else to have her?
I think back to the shower with him. He told everyone to not go near me. Yeah, he knew I was listening but he was still barking orders. He thinks I’m his, or his and his friends’, but I’m not.
This is getting me nowhere. I know tomorrow night will be interesting. Elijah didn’t have to come up here, but he did. He wanted me to see things from their side. I don’t really care about their reasons for why they do the things they do as we always have choices. Their choices are to walk over whoever gets in their way.
I push my couch back against the door. I am going to pay to put some extra locks on this door. I walk across the floor, heading to my bedroom when the banging stops. I wave my hands in the air thanking God for small mercies.
That night I toss and turn, but my thoughts aren’t about me or my past. They are about that group.
How they all wear masks.
I wake up feeling strangely refreshed. I grab my phone to see it's after eleven in the morning. How did I sleep so much? I must have really needed it. There is a message from Lucas telling me to dress appropriately tonight. I have one also from Aisha telling me she hasn’t thrown up in twelve hours and wishing me luck for tonight and to fill her in tomorrow.
Once I reply to her, I don’t bother replying to Lucas. I give my mom a quick message telling her I love her and dad and that I’m going to a party and acting like a college student. I’m sure that will keep her happy.
After I get washed and have my daily caffeine, I know I need to head to a few shops as I’m sure the dresses I have won’t do. I pull my couch back, locking my door behind me. The elevator is still out of order, so I tiptoe down the steps. I can’t believe it has come to this, but I feel paranoid that they’re behind the door, waiting for me to appear and to do something that will annoy or irritate me.
When I get outside and look around to see I’m on my own, I smile. I put my earbuds in and take the walk to the mall. I try and picture what kind of dress I want but I know I won’t really know until I see what’s available.
I start window shopping first, to see what catches my eye. When I’ve done a round, I start going inside, checking the rails, but nothing screams at me. Until I see a red dress.
I walk over to it, touching the silk material. I love how this feels and I’m sure it will feel amazing on. I search for my size and pull the hanger out, raising it higher to see the full thing.
“May I help you?” a girl who looks just a little older than me asks. I can already see the judgment in her eyes.
“Yes. I want to try this on.”
She eyes the dress in my hand. “Are you sure? This place is a little pricy.” She whispers the last word.
Is she really doing this? Even if I couldn’t afford it, she has no right to say this to my face. What if I saved up for it? She is treating a customer like shit by her appearance? How can you look at someone and know if they can afford a dress or not. “Just so you know, I can afford this. I probably have more money than you’ll make in your lifetime, so get me a changing room.” I want to yell at her, but I say it sweetly. I sound like Kimberly. Sweet voice but cruel words.
She presses her hand to her chest. Her face flushes. “Right this way.” I follow her to the fitting rooms.
She is about to leave but I call out to her. “Oh, and I would like to see a manag
er before I leave too.” I walk down to a spare spot, opening the dressing room door when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn to see the girl with tears prickling her eyes.
“You can’t speak to my manager. He will fire me,” she pleads.
“I’m not the one who spoke to a customer like shit. Just because I don’t wear designer stuff doesn’t mean I can’t afford the clothes in here. Even if I was broke and poor, I may have saved up every penny so just so I could get a dress like this.” I speak out my thoughts from before. “You’re lucky I haven’t walked out or made a huge scene.” I really want this dress; it’s the only reason I haven’t.
She bobs her head up and down. “I know, I know. I’m just around these rich people all day, every day. We are told to be careful who we let try on clothes in case they shoplift. It’s no excuse. Please. I can’t afford to lose this job.”
Elijah’s words ring in my ears. We have to put up a show when we’re around certain people. She is doing what she has been told and shown. I have said my piece and hope she is careful who she speaks to in future. “I won’t say a word.” She takes hold of my hand, thanking me over and over. “There is something you could help me with.” I look at the dress. “I’m going to a college party, but it’s not your usual college party. It’s full of power-mad assholes. And apparently I need to look the part but I’m terrible when it comes to girlying up.” This is where I wish I had Aisha right now. I bet she would be good at this.
The girl beams. “Wait right here.” I stay put, and after a few minutes, the girl has dresses across her arm and a few shoe boxes in her hands. “Okay, try all of these on, but leave the red one until last. If you are going to try things on, it can’t be just one dress. These shoes will match the dresses too.”
I can’t believe I’d almost forgotten about shoes. That would have been embarrassing. I would have had to wear an expensive dress with my everyday suede black ankle boots.