Aurora nodded her head, then managed to say, “Yes.”
“Good.” He stood, and she did the same. Seconds later he pulled her into his arms and kissed her. To her amazement it was as good as the first time, and the second, and the third.
“I’ve wanted to do that since the hailstorm,” he said. “You taste delicious.”
“Saying thank you sounds weird after that wonderful compliment,” she said. “You know, I’m not very good at this.”
“Stop saying that, or I’ll spank your pretty little bottom.”
Aurora giggled. “Right.”
“I’m serious,” he said.
Instead of giggling, Aurora pushed herself out of his arms. “You want to hit me?” Her stomach plunged and she moved until there was a chair between them. “Forget that I said yes. I don’t want to be with someone who wants to hit me.” Her heart had sunk to where her stomach had been just a few moments ago. “You should leave.” And I need to look for a new job, she thought.
“I’m talking about spanking you, not hitting you.”
“It’s the same thing,” she said, her voice lifting with each word.
“No, it’s not.” He moved and Aurora looked around the room, searching for a weapon she could use against him. But instead of coming toward her he went back to his seat and sat down.
She sighed in relief, but stayed where she was.
“You really should leave.”
“Have you ever heard of BDSM? Daddy Doms and their Littles?”
“Please go,” she whispered.
“Please answer my question.”
This conversation was not heading in a direction she liked. Maybe if she answered him he would leave. “BDSM, yes, the other thing, no. Now, please leave.” How many times could she say that without him doing as she asked?
Holt pulled out his phone and started tapping keys. Seconds later her phone dinged. She’d had a prepaid until yesterday, when Austin had shown up with a brand-new smart phone for her.
“It comes with the job,” Austin had said. “There is a user’s guide in the box. Learn to use it. All of our numbers are programed in, and we have yours, too.” He’d winked at her and left. Right now, she wished Holt would do exactly that—leave. The phone dinged again, and again.
“I’ve sent you some websites to look at,” he said. “Please read them for me and we’ll talk after dinner. I’ll drive down and pick you up, and I can bring you back afterwards.”
He started for the door and she cleared her throat. She needed to stand up for herself before this went too far. “I’m not going to change my mind. I don’t want a relationship with someone who wants to hit me.”
“Just read the sites,” he said. He put his hand on the screen door, but turned toward her before he opened it. “I handled this badly, and I’m sorry for that. But I still wanna be your Daddy, and I still want you to be my Little.
She didn’t even know what he was talking about, so she didn’t respond. All she knew was when he was gone she was going to have to pack up her stuff and call Dana and ask her to come get her. Tears filled her eyes at that thought. She’d just found a new home, one where she thought she could stay for a good, long time. Her salary included her home and food. Now she would have to leave it because one of the men she was working for was a pervert.
She wondered if the state of Texas knew this. Would he be allowed to run a rescue site for abused women if they knew he wanted to hit them? Did he sleep with all the ladies who came through here?
Aurora went into the bedroom and pulled out the trash bags she’d brought her things in just a few days ago. Screw the grocery store. She wouldn’t need food because she wasn’t staying. She opened the top drawer of her dresser to reveal her underwear. She stuffed them into the bag, then closed it and opened the second drawer. She had t-shirts and shorts in there. She added them to the bag, then closed the drawer. The third drawer was empty. She’d thought about it the day she’d unpacked, that she didn’t have enough things to fill a dresser.
She dropped the bag and slid down to the floor, leaning against the bed. What was she going to do now? Get a grip she repeated to herself over and over. She’d done that a lot during the trial, and during her first days in prison. It had worked then. Could it work now?
What would she say to him after dinner tonight? How would she refuse his offer and still keep her job? She didn’t want to leave here. There was only one way to know what to say to him when he asked questions about something she knew absolutely nothing about, and that was to visit the websites he’d sent her and familiarize herself with Daddy Doms and Littles, whatever the hell that meant.
“You can quit laughing any minute now.” Holt tapped his finger on his desk, and glared at Hawk, who sat across from him, laughing so hard Holt thought his brother might throw up.
Finally, after a few minutes, Hawk took several deep breaths and said, “Oh how the mighty rule follower has fallen. You just blurted it out? What were you thinking?”
“About her tits,” Holt admitted. “She distracts me every time I’m near her. I never should have kissed her in the truck, and I should have taken it slowly, as I usually do. But no, I just told her I wanted to be her Daddy, and she freaked out.”
“Can you blame her?” Hawk asked. He leaned forward in his chair. “Do you think she’ll leave?”
“I hope not,” Holt said. “I told her we’d talk after dinner. Speaking of which, shouldn’t you be downstairs cooking?”
“Oh please, I did the hamburger meat last night, and the chicken is in the crock pot. When it’s done all I have to do is shred it. I bought all the veggies pre-cut, and the cheese pre-shredded. The beans are in the oven, and the rice is in the second crockpot. And I bought a sopapilla cheesecake from the bakery. I’m not like Austin, you know.”
“Too true,” Holt said.
“Hey, neither are you.” Hawk took a drink from his soda. “Oh, and since it’s Friday night I’ve set up beer and margaritas. Maybe you can get her drunk before you ask her if she’ll be your Little.”
“Not funny,” Holt said.
“Just a suggestion.” Hawk took another drink.
“Did you get Jessica Barker drunk before you started topping her?”
The shocked look on Hawk’s face, that he tried and failed to hide, made Holt laugh.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hawk said.
“Oh please, half the town knows you’re banging her.” Holt lifted his glass of tea in his brother’s direction. “Is she a Little?”
“Screw you,” Hawk said as he stood.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Holt said as Hawk practically ran out the door. Holt slammed back the rest of his tea. After his failure this afternoon he could definitely use a beer. They tried not to drink too much because they never knew when they would be called out to pick up an abused woman. But one shouldn’t hurt.
He turned his chair and looked out the window. The triplets were taking care of the horse they’d brought in the other day. She was a beauty, but she was more skittish than any they’d had in a long time. Kyle was the best with them, the horse whisperer so to speak. He always managed to calm them down if something happened to set them off.
Dinner was not until seven. Holt looked at his watch. It was almost five, and he had paperwork that needed to be finished. It was a never-ending battle. This batch was for the new girl, who had decided to leave and go live with her parents in Houston. They’d tried to talk her out of it, since her husband was now out of jail and looking for her.
“It will be the first place he looks,” Holt had said. He could tell by the look in her eyes that it didn’t matter where she was; she would be going back to her husband as soon as she could. Going to her parents’ house in Houston was just a diversion. Things would go back to exactly what they were.
As he filled out the paperwork he couldn’t help but think of Aurora. He hoped she’d visited the sites he’d sent her and she had an idea of what being a
Little meant. But even if she did, would she want to give it a try? His attraction to her was strong, and if he read her right she felt the same about him.
Holt just hoped they would be able to forge a relationship that both of them would love.
Chapter 6
Aurora settled herself in the UTV and stared out the passenger side as Holt climbed behind the wheel. Dinner had been delicious, and she’d stuffed herself, mostly so she didn’t have to talk. She’d spent the afternoon trolling through the websites Holt had sent her. As much as she hated to admit it she was intrigued by the things she’d read.
A Daddy wanted to take care of his Little. He wanted to keep her in line. He wanted to love her. No one had ever done those things for her. Her father had hated her from the time she was young and avoided her at all costs. Ben treated her as a blow-up doll for sex, and used her as a punching bag.
She wasn’t sure if Holt could give her the things she needed, and she wasn’t sure she trusted him enough for him to spank her, or offer other forms of discipline. She’d thought that after she’d read the first website. So why, she asked herself, did she continue to read after that?
Because you like the idea, she answered as the UTV started toward the cabins.
“You’ve been quiet,” he said after they’d gone a ways. “Did I freak you out this afternoon?”
“Yes,” she admitted.
He chuckled and she couldn’t help but smile.
They rode in silence. Aurora thought it would be uncomfortable, but she felt good sitting next to him. When he passed the cabins, though, she felt uncomfortable.
“Where are we going?”
“To the lake,” he said. “I thought it would be best to sit in a neutral spot.”
Aurora nodded and clasped her hands together to try and calm the nerves that were building inside her. She’d felt safe when she was going to her house. But now they were going someplace he’d been, but she hadn’t. She wasn’t sure how to feel about all this.
When they topped the hill, Aurora gasped. She hadn’t seen the lake yet, and now she wished she’d come down here. It was absolutely stunning. The setting sun reflected off the water. There were four picnic tables near a dock.
“It’s not big enough for boats,” she said. “Why the dock?”
“We go fishing off it,” Holt said as he parked the UTV. “We stock it with trout during the summer, fish and then have picnics down here. On the Fourth we shoot off fireworks, if we’ve had enough rain. This year is not looking so good.”
He got out of the UTV and picked up a box he’d put in the back seat when they’d left the main house. Remembering how he’d acted when she got out of the truck by herself, Aurora stayed where she was. He came around and offered his hand and she got out. He led her to a picnic table and set the box on it.
“What’s that?” she asked as she sat down.
“Food,” Holt said as he sat down opposite her.
“We just ate.” She took off the lid. There were extra servings of the cheesecake they’d eaten, cookies, and—her mouth watered—were those brownies wrapped in waxed paper?
He jumped up and went to the UTV and came back with a container of iced tea and two glasses. He’d had a beer with dinner, but only one. She wondered if that was all he drank, and only in limited amounts.
Without waiting for permission she took out cloth napkins that were rolled up. She unrolled one and put it in front of him, and did the same for herself; then she grabbed a brownie, unwrapped it and sunk her teeth into it. It was dark, gooey chocolate mixed with nuts.
She groaned, and appreciated his laugh. “I thought we just ate,” he said.
“I never turn down a brownie,” she said after she’d swallowed her bite. “These are delicious. Did Hawk make them?”
“No, he bought them at the bakery.”
“Well, the baker has my gratitude,” she said right before she took another huge bite.
“You’re in a better mood than when I left you this afternoon,” he said.
She held up the brownie. “It’s the chocolate, dark chocolate no less. Really good.” At the hurt expression on his face she shrugged.
“I hoped you were a little more open to my idea after reading the websites.”
“Little?” she asked right before she took another bite. After she swallowed she said, “You know, nobody’s ever called me little before.”
“I’m not talking about size,” he said. He narrowed his eyes just a bit. “Did you look at the sites I sent you?”
“Every one of them,” she said. She took a smaller bite of her brownie. It was almost gone. There were more in the box, but she didn’t want to eat them all by herself. Holt had poured them both a glass of tea, but he hadn’t reached into the box to claim any of the goodies.
“And your reaction is only to say it refers to your size?” His hand hovered over the box, and she said a silent prayer he would leave the brownies for her. To her delight he took out two chocolate chip cookies. He put them on his napkin, but didn’t take a bite.
“I’m taking by your less than enthusiastic response that what you read didn’t thrill you.” He took a bite of his cookie.
For some reason, his disappointment made her smile. “What would you like me to say, oh baby, oh baby, spank me, please?” If she had said those words to Ben, he would have backhanded her and possibly broken a tooth. To her delight, Holt smiled.
“Oh baby, oh baby, she has a sense of humor.”
Aurora giggled. She took out a second brownie and set it on her napkin. This one she intended to savor.
“So you have been thinking about the idea.”
The word ‘no’ hovered on the edge of her brain. Instead she said, “If I say no, do I lose my job?” She wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to use sex against her. Of course he could be lying, no matter what he said, but something told her Holt Coleman was not the type of man to lie.
“No,” he said. “Usually I get to know a lady better before I let this side of me show. But I wanted to be totally honest with you. I like you that much, and I didn’t want to throw it at you months down the road. I want total honesty between us. That means if you turn me down you won’t be fired. You have my word.”
His disappointment was clear. Aurora pinched off a small bite of brownie and put it in her mouth.
“I wanted to see what you’d say,” she said after a few moments. “I have to admit the idea of someone taking care of me makes me happy.” She paused, then took another small bite of brownie. “But I have to tell you I have horrible memories of sex.”
“How horrible?” he asked.
“Extremely.” She should tell him the absolute truth but the words wouldn’t form. She looked at the lake. It was close to dark, and the moon was barely a quarter. They didn’t have a candle to attract bugs, which made her happy. She was also glad he couldn’t see the look on her face.
“Did you ever enjoy it?” he asked.
“Never.” She looked back at him. “Ben usually climbed on, got off, then fell asleep.”
Despite the growing darkness she could see the look of shock on his face. At least she thought that’s what it was. “Have you ever had an orgasm?”
Heat spread up her neck and onto her face. “Never.”
“You’re using that word a lot,” he said.
“You asked.” She pinched off one more bite of her brownie. But she didn’t put this one in her mouth. This time she smushed it between her fingers.
“I would love to teach you about sex,” he said. “I would love to teach you about discipline, and about love.”
“You would love to be my Daddy,” she said. “Well let me tell you I hate my daddy. He treated me like crap all my life. I don’t want someone to take his place.”
“What about someone who would teach you that Daddies care for their Littles?”
Aurora shook her head violently. “No, I’m sorry. I have a lot of trouble grasping that idea.”
Holt finished hi
s cookie, then took a drink of tea before he said, “You realize since we’ve been sitting here talking about this that you’ve made complete, whole sentences? You’ve expressed your feelings, which is excellent.”
Was he telling her the truth? She thought about the conversation they’d been having, and she realized he was being truthful. She’d been prepared to say no, despite the fact she was intrigued by the idea. But she hadn’t expected to talk as if this conversation meant the whole world to her.
Maybe it did. If she said yes to him it would change her entire world. He’d already changed it by giving her a job. He’d trusted her enough to bring her here. Could she trust him enough to try and forge a relationship between them that was unlike anything she’d ever heard of before?
“It scares me,” she said.
“You have to trust me,” he responded. “I know we hardly know each other, but we can learn things that will bring us closer.” He looked down at the napkins. He ate his second cookie, then picked up the napkin and flicked off the crumbs. She watched as he rolled it into what looked like a blindfold, and when he placed it over his eyes and pulled the edges behind his head as if he were trying to test the size Aurora’s mouth dropped open.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Follow my lead.”
More than half the brownie still sat on her napkin, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to close off her sight. She looked up to see that Holt had already done it. The napkin shrouded his eyes, and his hands were on the table.
If she didn’t do as he asked would he know? But if she didn’t follow his lead would it be cheating? Before she could change her mind, Aurora put her uneaten brownie back in the box, fashioned a blindfold and covered her eyes.
“Done,” she said.
“Follow my lead,” he said. “I love the smell of horses.”
Was she supposed to say that? It took her a minute to realize he was giving her insight into his being, into what made him Holt. She needed to do the same.
“I love the smell of flowers.”
Aurora's Cowboy Daddy (Rescue Ranch) Page 5