by Rye Brewer
“Not until the end of the meeting. It’s considered special business.”
“How long do these meetings usually take?” I asked.
“We’ll be here for a while,” he informed me in a near-whisper.
Wonderful.
I’d spend endless amounts of time pretending not to notice the way Marcus stared daggers at me.
33
Anissa
As always, the league appreciates your presence at this gathering.”
Seven vampires sat at the head of the table, representing the seven global territories which came out of the Great War.
Lucian, leader of the North American clans, was also the most ancient of all known vampires. Even he had no clear idea of the year in which he was born. As such, it was clear why he was regarded as the leader of the entire league. I’d merely heard of him prior to now, never seen or met him. His wisdom and fairness were well known, earning him great respect. As was his fierceness and ruthlessness, when crossed, earning him great fear.
He stood there, towering over the rest of the league and, in fact, everyone at the table. Was I alone in thinking that he was more than a little tiresome. I glanced around, feeling guilty, wondering if anybody there could sense my opinion.
I could tell from the expressions of adoration all around me that I was the only one. Maybe it was just me—maybe I’d become jaded on finding out about the way the league had kept my parents apart. Maybe I was the solitary one who had reason to see past the benevolent expression on Lucian’s face.
Was it you, I speculated, staring at Lucian. Had it been him who pushed my father out of my life?
As if he was psychic, his gaze stopped scanning the room and focused on me, studying me, watching me as a predator watches its prey.
I knew I didn’t stand a chance against a being this powerful, but still I raised my chin, tipping my head back, letting him know I was not afraid. Even though I knew he could decimate my very existence.
Lucian turned his eyes from me, dismissing my bravado. He smiled at the room. “It is through the cooperation of the clans that our way of life can be sustained. The fact that you are all here, uniting in a common cause, speaks volumes for the strength of our kind.”
A warm, satisfied murmur seemed to float over the table as the vampires congratulated themselves. I questioned how I could be the only one who thought all the flowery words were silly. Yes, we were strong, and the league was what ensured our kind stayed in check instead of devolving into another destructive war. But didn’t anybody other than me understand how harmful their rigid rules could be? How was I the only one who conjectured if a league, put together in the ashes of conflict, should change and grow now because the wars have ended, and peace essentially established?
“The first order of business shall be addressed by Genevieve.” Lucian sat while Genevieve, the European representative, stood in one graceful, fluid motion. Her beauty was almost blinding—tall, willowy, with jet-black hair and sapphire eyes, as if she had just stepped off a catwalk. Her ruby-red lips parted to speak.
The double doors flew open, hitting the stone walls with a loud crash. We all turned as one, stunned at the sudden disturbance. I gasped when I recognized the figure striding into the great hall, his black robes billowing behind him.
Gregor!
My head snapped back around to where Lucian was standing again. In fact, the entire league had risen to their feet.
“What is the meaning of this?” Lucian didn’t sound so benevolent anymore. His voice had taken on a sharp edge.
“You shouldn’t be here,” Genevieve added, her eyes wide as she glared down the table at my father.
I glanced at Gregor again, horrified. I had a sick certainty why he was here, and I wished more than anything I was able to sleep again and this was all a nightmare. I wished I could slide under the table then melt into the floor.
Gregor scanned the area and caught me before I could escape. Not that I would try, even though I desperately wanted to.
“What’s he doing here?” Jonah hissed. I didn’t reply. My eyes cut in Marcus’s direction, and the smug smile plastered on his face told me what I needed to know. He was so pleased with the way the meeting had already devolved.
“As you know,” Lucian boomed, his voice echoing throughout the hall, “this is a meeting for vampires only. That’s the rule. You have no business being here.”
“I don’t? Because I’m not a vampire. Is that right?” Gregor asked, hands clasped behind him. He didn’t back down under the weight of Genevieve’s glare or Lucian’s growing anger or the looks of disgust from the rest of the league.
I felt strangely proud of him for that.
“Exactly. I don’t think I have to explain any further, do I? Go, now.” Lucian lifted one thin arm, the sleeve falling back, and extended a long, bony finger in the direction of the door.
Gregor smiled. “If this is a meeting for vampires only…” His gaze fell on me. “Why is my daughter allowed here?”
The hall went dead silent for a split second then erupted in chaos. All eyes turned in my direction, voices overlapping as those around me expressed shock and surprise. How they hadn’t noticed me before then was a mystery—I didn’t look anything like them, after all, and my fae blood should have given me away immediately if it was a beacon the way Felicity had described. Maybe they’d been too busy bowing to Lucian to notice.
“What’s this?” Lucian’s voice rose over the others. “What are you doing here, half-breed?”
I doubted his sincerity. He knew damned well what I was. Why was he feigning surprise? Why had he allowed me to walk in to the meeting to begin with?
Jonah gasped through clenched teeth, but I rose anyway.
Sara’s eyes pleaded with me to stay, but I couldn’t. There was no way I could risk causing trouble by staying now that Gregor had given me away.
I should have known it would end badly.
I pointedly avoided Marcus’s stare as I pushed my chair back and walked to the end of the table to join my father. I couldn’t hold his gaze. I was too embarrassed and angry. We had more than a few things to discuss—such as timing, for one—but it would have to wait until we were away from the questioning, judging eyes around us.
“Wait!” A familiar voice stopped me as we stepped over the threshold.
Jonah.
I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing it would all end. I couldn’t stand a tearful goodbye with Jonah after everything that had just happened. When he reached me, he took me by the shoulders and spun me around.
“Where are you going?” he asked, glancing from me to my father and back again.
“I have to go with him, Jonah. I don’t belong here, and all I do is cause trouble for you. I didn’t realize it until just now, when I saw him and then the league reminded me I don’t belong with the vampires.” I motioned to Gregor, who waited for me. “The fae don’t act that way. They accept me. They expect me to make a home with them. That’s where I need to be. Not somewhere my blood makes me a risk to everyone who knows me.”
He shook his head. “I won’t let you go.”
I had never felt so torn. On the one hand, the thought that he’d left the meeting to stop me meant everything. The strong hands on my shoulders reminded me of the power he possessed, and how he still thought I was worth walking away from everything for. It was almost too much to believe.
Then again, he had a responsibility to his clan. That was worth more than anything else.
“I’m not going to let you risk losing the Bourke territory for me. You have to get back in there, now, before the pact is brought up. You need to. Please, go.” It was like I had to rip every word out of my chest. I hurt all over when I thought about never seeing him again.
“Let me come with you.” My sister stood by my side. She took my hand.
“No, Sara. You can’t.” I wanted to be gentle with her, but Gregor had other ideas.
“You’re not one of us,” he said, and ther
e was clearly no arguing with him when he sounded the way he did.
My heart sank when I saw how his words crushed her.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “But that’s how it is. They accept me because I’m half fae, but you don’t have the blood in you. I wish it didn’t have to be this way.”
“It doesn’t.” Jonah pulled me just a little closer. “You don’t have to go. You can choose for yourself.”
The pressure burning behind my eyes was almost too much to control, but I had to do it. I couldn’t let him see me cry. “This is my choice. I’m walking away to make it easier for you to do what needs to be done.”
Scott came out. “Jonah, you need to come back. Now.”
I locked eyes with him over Jonah’s shoulder. “Take care of my sister. Please.”
Scott nodded, glancing at her. But she was staring at me. I gently but firmly removed Jonah’s hands from my shoulders and gave him a shove in Scott’s direction, then hugged Sara. “Stay close to them,” I whispered. “Please, stay safe. They’ll take care of you now.”
“Don’t go,” she begged.
“I have to.” I held her at arm’s length and tried to give her a brave smile. “I love you.”
“Please, stay.” Tears welled in her eyes.
Scott took her by the hand and led her back to the meeting, while Jonah walked in front of them. He didn’t turn back to say goodbye. I was almost glad. I couldn’t have refused him one more time. I wasn’t strong enough.
“Are you coming?” Gregor asked.
I whirled on him. “How dare you do something like this?” I hissed.
“How dare you sneak off in the middle of the night? Do you know how much time and energy was spent bringing you back? Keeping you alive and safe?” His face was filled with disgust as he eyed the cathedral. “I should have known you would be here. It’s so obvious. You would risk your life for those creatures.”
“I’m one of them, just like I’m one of you.”
He held up a finger to silence me. “There’s a difference, isn’t there? We’ll accept you. They won’t.”
I had nothing to counter with because he was right.
Lucian hadn’t wasted any time making it clear I didn’t belong. And that was all I had to look forward to for the rest of my existence. Never quite fitting in. At least the fae wouldn’t throw me out. And I didn’t stick out like a sore thumb when I was with them.
So, when Gregor started off for the portal, I followed him. Still, my heart was heavy. I imagined Sara being scared, feeling lost without me. I hoped the Bourkes would be able to keep her away from Marcus. The thought of not knowing for sure almost killed me.
Just like the thought of never seeing Jonah again nearly killed me.
34
Anissa
There was the portal, off in the distance. In the nighttime, the silvery light was so ethereal. It sort of blended in with the rest of the landscape. I guessed that was the point; otherwise, anybody could have accessed it. I shuddered at the notion of Marcus being able to get in and out—then again, he’d be outnumbered in the shadow realm of the fae. There were far more fae than there were Carver clan members. When I thought about it that way, I wished he would wander through. The thought of his smug smile was burned into my brain.
“I’m very disappointed in you,” my father said as we walked.
“You don’t need to tell me that,” I muttered. “I can tell you are.”
“How could you put yourself in danger this way, when you know how important you are?”
I stopped walking, turning to stare at him instead. “What do you mean?”
He rolled his eyes. “Can we talk about this once we’re home?”
I shook my head and took a step away from him. “I want to talk about it now.” And I resented his use of the word home. It was a little too early to start thinking of the shadow world as my home. He clearly didn’t know me and had no idea how little I cared for being told what to do.
“Anissa, please. We have to go. You know it isn’t safe for us here.”
I waved a dismissive hand. “I know enough to know we’re perfectly safe. There are so many layers of enchantment over the area any creature who wished us harm wouldn’t dare step foot past the boundaries the league set up.”
He sighed. “You don’t seem to understand what I tried to tell you when we were together. I’m the ruler of the fae, Anissa, like my father before me and on and on. I have no other heirs.”
My eyes widened. “I don’t want to rule.”
“That’s not your choice.”
“If not mine, then whose is it?”
“I didn’t have a choice because it was what I was born to do. The same is true of you.”
“Yes, and I see how happy it made you,” I shot back. “You had to give up my mother because the demands of your kind were more pressing.”
“I would take care with my words if I were you,” he warned. “You’re my daughter, but that doesn’t exclude you from punishment.”
“For telling the truth?” I asked. “That doesn’t seem fair. And all I’ve done is sum up what I heard from your lips. You had to choose between duty and love, and you chose duty. I’m not pretending I understand how difficult that decision was.”
“You don’t understand?” He nodded his head toward the cathedral. “Then what did I see back there? What were you doing when you sent the vampire boy back inside?”
I shook my head. “It’s not the same.”
“Isn’t it? You recognized Jonah’s duty even if he didn’t. You did what was right, even when it wasn’t what you wanted. You have it in you to be a strong, wise leader. You can try to deny it all you want, but I see it in you.”
I didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t want responsibility laid at my feet without my asking for it. “I can’t sign away my life,” I protested. “Not when I only just learned about you.”
“That’s understandable. I don’t ask you to take over for me right now.” He chuckled. “You have time. All the time you need to learn what’s necessary. Just as my father trained me.” Gregor held out his hand. “Come with me. You can start whenever you feel comfortable. Nothing would make me happier than knowing my daughter will rule in my place. When it comes my time to leave this life, I’ll know I’ve left the fae in good hands.”
I couldn’t ignore the tugging in my chest, like something just wasn’t right. His words were persuasive—I could see how the fae were notorious for their ability to charm and connive—but they didn’t ring true for me. I struggled for something to say, anything to help my father understand I didn’t want his role or his realm.
The sound of running footsteps cut me off before I could try to explain. Somebody was heading in our direction. I couldn’t have been more surprised to see Jonah.
Maybe I shouldn’t have been.
“What are you doing? What happened in there?”
If he had deliberately tried to make things harder for me, he couldn’t have done a better job of it. I couldn’t bear sending him away again. Did he think it was some sort of game?
He stopped in front of me. “It doesn’t matter,” he said. His hair was tousled from the run. I wanted to touch it. I wanted to feel his lips against mine, one last time. But I needed to send him away. I needed to do the right thing. And I needed to do it now.
“What are you saying? Have you gone crazy? Get back in there!”
“I can’t. It’s all over.”
The air left my body, as though he’d hit me in the stomach. It felt like the world was spinning out of control around me. Had I imagined what he’d said? I hadn’t, obviously, since the expression on his face was a mixture of shock and elation. Like he couldn’t believe what he’d done but was glad he’d done it.
“What’s over?” Gregor asked, trying to position himself between us.
I stepped around my father. Nothing mattered more than what Jonah was about to say.
His eyes never left my face, either. “I can’t
let you go like this,” he said with a shrug. “And I would have done this before, too, when I thought Marcus was holding you captive. I thought about it then. And when you said goodbye, I knew it was the right choice.”
“What was the right choice?” I breathed.
“Renouncing my place at the head of the clan. I gave it all up.”
I should have told him he was stupid, crazy, out of his mind for doing something like that. I should have wanted what was best for him and the vampires who needed his leadership. I should have told him to go back in there and beg for his position to be reinstated. I should even have let him blame it on me—I wouldn’t put it past Lucian and his league to believe I’d placed a spell or something on Jonah to make him act recklessly.
I should have done those things, standing there between the cathedral and the portal. It would have been the right thing to do. The responsible thing to do.
But I didn’t.
“You did that for me?” I whispered, still unable to believe what I’d heard. I searched his face for some sign he was lying, but there was nothing except sincerity—and, still, more than a little surprise at himself.
“I did. Nothing else matters to me the way you do.”
“Wait a minute.” Gregor’s put his hand on my shoulder, pulling me away from Jonah. “This is insanity. You can’t leave your clan, Jonah. I can’t believe your almighty league would allow you to do something so reckless.”
Jonah glanced at my father the way he would a fly on his arm. Like he couldn’t have mattered less.
I found my voice again. “What will happen to the clan?”
Jonah shrugged, grinning. “They’ll work it out.”
“You’re really doing this with so little planning?” Gregor asked, shocked.
“I have two brothers and an extremely wise sister. The clan is in good hands without me.”
I could practically feel the incredulity coming off my father. It didn’t seem real to him. It hardly seemed real to me, either. I wasn’t anything special. I was just me. Certainly no one worth giving up power for. Yet, there Jonah stood.