by Taryn Quinn
Leticia might be her first name, but Denial was her middle.
I had to assume Jimmy was a big part of that. Sure, she’d told me about his betrayal. But she hadn’t told me the rest. The most salient part.
He’d broken her heart by abusing her trust. And I was clearly a heartless bastard, because the only reason I wished he was still alive was so that I could kick his ass for what he’d done to her.
What he was still doing, even if she’d never admit it.
The ride to Happy Acres was slow and by inches rather than miles due to the endless snow slanting down from the gray sky. She was quiet through the trip, lacing and unlacing her fingers. She wasn’t the chatty sort normally, but this was a lot of stony silence even for her.
She’d been there with me. I was damn sure of it. So, there could only be one explanation.
“If you’re worried about the condom thing—”
“I’m not.” She stared out the side window. “Not an issue.”
“Are you on birth control?”
“It’s not an issue,” she repeated.
I gripped the wheel tighter and forced myself to stay focused on the blur of white out the windshield rather than her profile. I loved looking at her, and I sneaked greedy glances whenever I could. I wanted to see her willingly soft and vulnerable after sex, to glimpse her with her shields down. Not because I’d pushed beyond them, but because she finally understood she didn’t need them with me.
That was probably a fantasy.
“Look, I’m not just bouncing on you just because it feels good.”
“Oh, no? You interested in my designs too?”
The arrow struck deep, as intended. I sucked in a breath and wished it really was a physical arrow so I could reach down and make the bleeding stop.
She swore under her breath. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair. Neither was me leaping on you about the house delays. I was way out of line then and now too. I just—I can’t do whatever you’re aiming for right now.”
“No kidding.” There was no keeping the bitterness out of my tone. “My fault for thinking this time, you were with me and not him.”
“What?” Her head whipped toward me although I refused to return her glance. Petty maybe, but I had my pride too.
“You heard me.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t I?” I asked quietly.
“Before we go to Holy Acres, I need you to stop somewhere for me.”
I couldn’t even laugh about her mistake. “Need a morning after pill? Can’t take one fast enough, I’m sure.”
She locked her jaw with an audible snap. “You can’t outdick me, but I can tell you’re ready to try. So, just get it out of your system so we can be rational about this.”
“I’m fucking in love with you. Be rational about that.” I slammed my hand on the wheel, and the truck swerved on a patch of ice, careening off the road and hitting a snowbank with a soft thud. The impact reverberated, rattling the metal enough that I instinctively shot out my arm across the passenger seat to keep Ruby safe.
That was all I wanted. Her safe and happy.
And most of all, I wanted her to be mine. Warts, cracks, strengths, smiles, and all.
I blew out a breath and took stock. Everything was still in one piece. From the looks of things, she was fine too—physically at least.
Her crazed gaze swerved to mine a moment later, but I didn’t remove my arm from in front of her. I hoped like hell she couldn’t see how it was trembling. “So, that was the snowbank.”
I frowned. “What?”
“Just something Lu said earlier. But there aren’t any cars here, so I guess they dug their way out of it. Or were towed.” Her voice pitched higher. “Or maybe freaking aliens swooped down in their spaceships, because I don’t see any damn vehicles, do you?”
“Actually, there are two just around the bend. Maybe the people got picked up, and they left their cars for when the weather clears.”
“Or maybe they’re human popsicles as we speak.”
“Are you okay?” I kept my tone as even as possible. “Did you hurt something?”
“No. We’re just fine. Burns are made of stronger stuff than that.” She dipped her head and stared pointedly at my arm. The muscles there were bulging with enough tension that even my coat barely obscured them. “Besides, you’d throw yourself in front of me to keep me safe if necessary.”
“Doesn’t work in a car accident.” My voice was strangely thick, and I didn’t know why.
She scoffed. “That wasn’t an accident. More like a tiny bump. And that part of the road already caught a few drivers today. Damn storm.”
I reached out to grip the wheel, wrapping my fingers around it one at a time. The truck was still running, the motor purring away just like normal. The old thing was strong and sturdy and as reliable as the tide. But concern for the Ford wasn’t what had me holding on as if I needed the support.
“You said we.”
“I’m sure you can just reverse out of this. Big ol’ truck probably didn’t even get dinged.”
“Tish.”
She continued as if I hadn’t said anything. I would’ve thought she was just having a normal conversation if I hadn’t heard her teeth chattering in between the words she forced out. “Bet you don’t even have a scratch. Nothing to remember this by except a fond memory.”
What she was saying didn’t match what had just happened unless you read between the lines. But I’d become an expert at it the last couple months.
“And hey, if you do have a dent or a ding, I know a good body shop. Fix you up in no time. You’ll go on as if this never even happened.”
I unclicked my seatbelt and reached over to undo hers.
“What are you doing? We have to go to the wedding.”
“In a minute.” I drew her into my arms, holding on even as she bristled.
Her resistance barely lasted a minute before she softened against me and pressed her face against my chest. Right over my heart where it was thundering like the fiercest summer storm just before the rain came and washed everything clean.
“I don’t know for sure.”
I stroked her hair. If she could tell my hand was shaking, she didn’t mention it. It hadn’t stopped from the crash and wouldn’t be anytime soon.
“I didn’t even think about it. Never considered. We weren’t in town. I mean, we did it a lot in town too, but it probably happened the first time. Maybe. I don’t know. Of all the luck—”
I stopped her right there and tipped her face up to mine. “From where I’m sitting, my luck finally came in.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Try me.”
“It’s shock. It’s because you got off. It’s because Caleb is getting married, and you’re high on love fumes and don’t want to be alone.”
“You’re right. It’s all of those things. But none of those change the fact that I wake up in the morning and I want to see your face. I want to hear your voice. Hell, I even can’t wait to see what snarky insult you’ll toss at me next.”
I brushed her hair away from her mouth and realized I wasn’t the only one shaking. I pressed my forehead to hers. “We’re in this together. You’ll never be alone again. I promise you, Leticia.”
She released a sound caught between a laugh and a sob. Pure relief drenched me as she eased back and stared up at me with achingly dry dark eyes. “I wasn’t even sure you knew my real name.”
“Of course I do.” The corner of my mouth lifted. “Ruby.”
“Jackass.” But she grinned.
Inside me, it was as if the sun beamed down after the storm, although the thunder still raged in my chest. I had a feeling it would for a while.
I lifted her hand. She was so cold. I kissed the tips of her fingers, my gaze roaming her face. Soaking in every detail from her freckles to the little divot in her upper lip as if I’d never seen her before. In a way, I hadn�
�t. This moment was unlike any that had come before or would come after.
“Let’s go take a test and find out.”
Immediately, she shook her head.
“Ruby, we have to know.”
“I know.”
“So, let’s just make sure.”
“No need.” She set her chin. “I know.”
Laughing was the only option I had left. “Fine, you know. What harm does it do to check the boxes?”
“I can’t deal with this now. I have to go be the maid of honor to a woman who checked out my tits and thinks we look like perfect bookends.”
“You haven’t seen your tits in that dress. Anyone who didn’t check them out is missing a pulse.”
“Somehow this isn’t sinking in. Do you get the gravity of this situation, Thor? This isn’t just a chaotic winter and back to normal. This is late night feedings and mopping up drool and changing diapers. I don’t do those things. I have no idea how. And how the hell am I supposed to raise a kid and do my job and make sure my brother is okay—”
“First, try taking a deep breath.”
She glared daggers at me, and my heart rejoiced.
She would be just fine. We would be fine.
“I don’t appreciate you being calm while I lose my mind. But hey, you don’t have to carry the kid. You just did your part and walked away whistling.”
“Any man who whistles and walks away from you is asking for a kick in the ass.”
Something crossed through her expression that had nothing to do with the specter of a baby. And I hated that even now in this moment that should belong only to us, he intruded. There was no place he couldn’t enter.
She’d engraved an all-access pass for him, and it was valid even after death.
She started to slide across the seat, but I gripped her arm, softly yet firmly. “I had no one to rely on growing up. No one. The only person I could count on was me. If you think that I’ll make my kid feel that way for even one second—even when he’s in your belly—you tangled with the wrong man, Ruby.”
Her eyes closed and when she spoke again, her voice wobbled. “I’m sorry. I’m doing this all wrong. But I only realized like half an hour ago. I should’ve figured it out when my damn tits exploded out of the shaper, but I was too busy appreciating them to think it through.”
“Me too.”
“Your tits are exploding? Here I didn’t even know you wore shapers.”
I wound a handful of her hair around my fist. “Smart ass.”
“Better than a dumb one. How the hell am I going to get through this wedding?”
“With me by your side. He’s important to me, Ruby,” I added quietly as her gaze swung to mine. “He’s my family, and by extension, so is Blondie. I have to do this for them. I want to. I would appreciate if you’d be by my side through it too.”
Her lower lip quivered so she bit it to make it stop. “So not fair.”
I shrugged. “Did it work?”
“Moderately. But I can’t take a test yet. I just can’t and act like a functioning person in front of all these people.”
“After?”
She hesitated. “Isn’t seeing my belly grow to match the giant boobs answer enough?”
“Kinda takes longer than my patience would allow.”
“Not really. They’re growing by leaps and bounds already.” She heaved out a sigh. “Fine. After.”
“Thank you.” I cupped her still cold hand in mine and kissed her knuckles. “Together is a word you should try to get used to.”
She gripped her stomach with her other hand. “One thing at a time, Thor.”
“Are you sick?”
“Hell if I know. I just need some food. Or maybe to puke. I can’t really tell.”
I blew out a half laugh. “We’ll start with food and go from there.”
“We’re so late—”
I rubbed her knuckles and shifted in my seat. Time to see if I could dig us out of this snow mess. “Better late than never, and they can’t start without me.”
Turned out they could, in fact, start without both of us. Or they would have if we hadn’t shown up precisely when we had.
We parked as close as possible in the half full lot. There weren’t a ton of people here. I knew Lu had said it was a small wedding, but women tended to underestimate. I had no doubt the weather had kept some away.
That snowbank right in the middle of the rise that led to Happy Acres probably hadn’t helped. If I didn’t have a wedding to be part of myself, I would’ve gone down there and tried to make a dent in the snowpack.
The physical exertion would’ve helped to clear my mind and the assortment of thoughts whirling through it like the snow pelting our faces like little chips of ice.
Such as…
Did you really fuck Ruby without a condom?
Holy shit, best ever.
But she could get pregnant…nope, guess what, she can’t!
That barn door is already housing a horse—if her feminine vibes are right about the occupancy of her uterus.
Judging from the way she kept covering her mouth with her gloved hand—not that she had brought any of her own, but I kept an extra pair in the truck—and squinting as if she was trying to figure out if she could make it to the front door of the main building, I had to think she had a good read on her own body. Women’s intuition or some shit.
Besides, she’d been hanging out more with Blondie. Maybe that extraterrestrial sense rubbed off or something.
Not extraterrestrial, dumbass. Extrasensory. Did that slide into the snowbank knock something loose?
My messed-up thinking probably had more to do with my major life changes in the last hour, but anything was possible.
I grabbed her bag, then helped her out of the car.
Dear God, a baby. Mine. Hers. Ours?
Why did you tell her you were in love with her? Want her to have more ammunition against you?
All I wanted was for her to have the truth. She needed to know how I felt.
Period.
We tromped through the snow coming down faster than the proprietors of the apple orchard-slash bed and breakfast-slash event facility could keep the snow cleared away. There was a literal team out there working with plows and shovels. If anything, it was snowing harder here in the little hamlet of Turnbull than it had been in the Cove, which was saying a lot.
I gripped her arm and steadied her as we neared the walkway that led to the wide porch’s front steps. “Are you okay?”
She didn’t growl at me, which proved she was in rough shape. “Do you know where the bathrooms are in this joint?”
Uh oh.
“I’ll find out.” I yanked my phone out of my pocket and texted Caleb with my clumsy, half frozen fingers.
Where’s the john here?
Caleb’s reply was surprisingly swift since I was pretty sure he should be busy right now.
Dude, you are late. So late. And your 1st concern is your bladder?
Not mine. Ruby’s. And not her bladder. Need a br. Where do we go?
Is she ok? Right off the entrance to the left.
Thanks. Sorry. Cya in a min.
Or ten depending how bad the spewage was, but I didn’t add that. The guy had enough to deal with. He didn’t need to find out his replacement maid-of-honor was on the verge of tossing her cookies upon arrival.
“You know,” I said over the rising wind, laying a hand at the small of her back, “you would basically make my life if you’d be okay with me carrying you again.”
“Thor, I’m at low ebb here. Weakened state.”
“That wasn’t a no. It would be my honor. Really.”
“Um, not sure if you’re aware, but this is someone else’s wedding. Added to the fact,” she rubbed her belly in frantic circles, swallowing hard, “I’m pretty sure if you lift me up right now, you’ll be wearing this afternoon’s ham sandwich as part of your wedding attire.”
“Okay. No carrying.”
&nb
sp; I rushed up the steps and drew open the door, the warm, homey scents inside immediately washing over me. Rich winter smells like roasting chestnut, the tang of apples, and something like sugary vanilla made my stomach growl as I turned back toward Tish and opened my voluminous long coat.
It had been an inspired choice, especially considering my current use. “Here, duck under here.”
“What? Duck? I’m almost six foot tall.”
“And mouthy with it too.” I shrouded it around her and ushered her inside, pleased when she ducked her head against my neck as people swarmed toward us. Many people. Far more than a pregnant woman about to have her first episode of baby-induced throwing up should have to contend with before she…expelled.
“We’ll be right back.” I used my most booming voice and smiled brightly as I drew her to the left and down the hall to the women’s room.
I was almost sure some of the guests gasped in our wake.
I’d need to come up with a good cover story for this one. It didn’t seem likely Ruby would be okay with me announcing we were expecting.
Lord help us, we were expecting an actual human baby that we would have to take care of for, like, eighteen years.
I’d be how old by then? Quickly, I did the math. Hopefully, I’d still have all my hair. I didn’t want to be the pity dad at graduation. That whole patchy on top and long in back look never did anyone any favors.
“Thor.” Ruby pounded on my chest. “You’re blocking the damn doorway. Move.”
I opened the door and she charged inside, aiming straight for the toilet. The setup was for one person with no separate stalls, so she was in my full view when she dropped to her knees, swore ripely, and emptied her stomach.
The sounds she made were not pleasant.
Rushing to the sink, I dropped her bag, then soaked a couple of paper towels. I moved to her side and wiped her brow with one hand and drew back her hair with the other, trying to keep it out of the way. I yanked the old scrunchie off my wrist I’d picked up somewhere—hey, the silky fabric was less damaging—and tugged the long mass into a loose ponytail.