Season of Hope

by Lisa Jordan

  She was a distraction.

  But maybe this was one way she could help out without creating chaos.

  * * *

  Jake was going crazy already. He wasn’t used to doing nothing around the farm. The rigid splint on his hand was a nuisance. Three more weeks and he could limit it to nighttime use.

  Man, what a drag.

  He couldn’t afford the time away from his chores for the expected ten to twelve weeks. If he followed doctor’s orders and did the recommended hand and finger exercises, then maybe he could resume light duty in six to eight weeks.

  In the meantime, his family juggled their schedules to meet the demands of the farm while he wrangled a paintbrush.

  Jake didn’t know whether to hug Tucker or slug him when his brother changed his work schedule to take care of the milking. Sure, Jake kind of liked not being jarred awake by his alarm blaring at four in the morning, but then again, his body was so used to being up that early he was awake anyway. He’d been tempted to put on his barn clothes and give his brother a hand, but he stayed in bed enjoying the cool air circulating from the ceiling fan over his bed.

  Even though he wouldn’t have to work alongside Tori in the milk barn, there was plenty of work to be done at her house and on the fund-raiser.

  And he was running out of time, especially while trying to do things one-handed.

  Like painting the wall.

  Trying to jockey the angled paintbrush with his left hand, Jake cut along the French door trim. Dove-gray paint smeared onto the white door frame.

  He was making more of a mess than a preschooler during craft time.

  Olivia and Landon could do a better job. Even Annabeth for that matter.

  He set the brush across the top of the paint cup and reached for the damp rag to clean off the paint. He’d wanted to get the walls finished today so he could tackle the trim tomorrow, but with the lack of coordination using his left hand, he needed to admit defeat so he didn’t create an even bigger mess.

  “How’s it going?”

  Jake turned as the hardwood floor creaked beneath Tori’s bare feet as she entered the room holding two glasses of iced tea and handed one to him. Poppy bounded in behind her and raced across the floor to sniff the paint tray. As if realizing no food was involved, she zipped out the door.

  “Thanks.” He shifted his eyes away from her light purple T-shirt and white shorts and drained half his glass, then glancing at his sloppy paint job, he shrugged. “Depends on your expectations, I guess. The kids could’ve done a better job. Although I’m sure you really wouldn’t want Landon anywhere near that paint tray. He’s got a knack for finding trouble.”

  Tori laughed, the sound bouncing through the empty room and pinging him in the chest. She shoved a hand in her front pocket and turned in circles in the middle of the room to survey his work.

  Sunlight streamed in through the open window and hit her like a spotlight, turning her hair to white gold. A humid breeze stirred the stuffy air and tagged the loose strands around her face that had fallen from the knot on the top of her head.

  She looked at him and smiled. “Actually I think you’ve done a bang-up job, especially with using only your left hand.”

  “My hand’s not steady enough to cut around the trim.”

  “I can do it later. You can always help with the fund-raiser if you want. Let’s take a break. Annabeth’s getting tired. Aunt Claudia offered to hang out at the farmhouse until your brother and dad return from his physical therapy appointment. That way the kids can take naps. Then we can head into town. I made a couple of appointments this afternoon to follow up with the letters I sent to local businesses outlining our objectives and asking them about becoming sponsors for the fund-raiser. You can turn on that country-boy charm and show your passion for the project. I’d like to swing by the printer and check on the presale tickets. And Aunt Claudia suggested a couple of caterers we could check out.”

  Which would be more challenging? Cramping his hand around a paintbrush for another couple of hours or spending alone time with Tori?

  He’d been trying to keep his distance when possible, but even when she wasn’t around, thoughts of her still crowded his head.

  And that annoyed him.

  But he couldn’t be rude. After all, she was doing a great thing for his program. And his family.

  Planning events was outside his wheelhouse, but if Tori was willing to step outside her comfort zone and help on the farm, then this was the least he could do. He needed to do whatever he could to help the project become a success.

  Jake finished the rest of his tea and set the empty glass on the top step of the ladder positioned in front of the French doors that opened onto a small balcony that overlooked the backyard.

  He bent to put the lid on the paint can. “I need to clean the brushes first.”

  “If you’d rather not go...”

  Jake glanced over his shoulder to find Tori gnawing on the corner of her bottom lip. He hated the hesitation in her voice, especially knowing his attitude was the cause. “It’s not that. I’m just...frustrated. We had an agreement, and I’m not holding up my end.”

  “It’s not like you planned to cut your hand or need unexpected surgery.”

  “I should’ve worn gloves. It was a stupid mistake.”

  “Give yourself a break.”

  “I gave my word.”

  “And I appreciate that, but this was beyond your control. Besides, you’ve managed to paint two rooms with your left hand.”

  “Where are the kids?” Jake grabbed the paint tray with the used brushes.

  Tori reached for his empty glass. “Playing with Play-Doh on the floor in the kitchen.”

  He shot her a grin as they left the room and headed for the stairs. “You’re a brave woman.”

  “They can’t hurt anything, and it cleans up quickly.”

  Jake followed her down the steps, keeping his eyes on his feet rather than the appealing image in front of him, and headed for the kitchen. “Hey, guys. What are you making?”

  After setting the paint tray in the sink, Jake dropped to his haunches in front of the flowered plastic tablecloth and took a small ball of Play-Doh Olivia handed him. He rolled it between his fingers as Olivia, Landon and Annabeth played with blue, green and yellow Play-Doh. A rainbow of cookie cutter shapes, small rolling pins and plastic scissors lay scattered around them.

  “Uncle Jake, check out my snake.” Landon held up a green lumpy-looking snake.

  “Great job, buddy.”

  “I’m making a unicorn.” Olivia added stumpy blue legs to a blob of Play-Doh with what must have been the unicorn’s horn sticking out of the animal’s forehead.

  Jake cupped his niece’s cheek. “Looks great, Liv.” He turned to Annabeth. “What are you making, little one?”

  Annabeth shot him a shy smile, then dropped her chin. She picked up her yellow ball and added a smaller ball on top. “Piggy.”

  “Did you have fun seeing the piggies again the other day?”

  Still smiling, she nodded, then returned her attention to the blob of dough in her chubby little hands.

  Jake straightened and looked at Tori. “I can’t believe you managed to keep them corralled so well.”

  “Play-Doh is magical. Kids love it.”

  “You’re really good with them.”

  She shrugged. “I’ve had very little experience around kids, but I’ve always wanted a big family. I took a couple of child development classes as electives in college.”

  Jake moved to the sink and ran water into the paint tray. She joined him and added a squirt of dish soap.

  “We could’ve had that, you know.”

  Had he voiced that thought out loud?

  He shot a glance at her to see pink coloring her cheeks. Apparently he had. But it wasn’t like he could
take it back. Might as well push in deeper with the one question that’d been weighing on him for years.

  He took a deep breath and rinsed the brushes under running water, spraying paint against the sides of the stainless steel sink. He shut off the water a little more forcefully than necessary and turned to her, keeping his voice low. “Why, Tori? That’s all I want to know.”

  She didn’t pretend not to know what he was talking about. She glanced at the kids, then looked at him with an expression that sent a shiver across his skin. “You want to get into this now? Right here? It’s not really the best place or time.”

  “It’s never the right time.”

  She gritted her teeth, then gripped the edge of the sink. “I had no choice, Jake. I did it to protect you.”

  “Of course you had a choice—you’re a grown woman. You chose to end our marriage—”

  “Daddy!” Livie’s cries jerked Jake’s attention away from Tori’s ashen face to the doorway, where his dad and brother stood, their eyes narrowed and directed at him.

  Perfect.

  Even though Jake had kept his voice down, he had no doubt they’d heard his response to Tori.

  Tori left him at the sink, reached for a towel, then crossed the room to talk to his dad and Tuck. Liv and Landon wrapped their arms around Tuck’s legs. Jake turned around and flipped the water back on.

  Dad crossed the room to stand next to him and scraped a weathered hand across the top of his graying brush cut. Deep lines edged the corners of his eyes as his lips turned up in a half smile. He clamped a hand on Jake’s shoulder and spoke low so only Jake could hear his words. “Sounds like there’s something we need to talk about.”

  Without replying, Jake scrubbed the paint from the brushes. The quicker he cleaned up his mess, the better for everyone.

  Chapter Five

  The conversation Jake had been dreading all day was about to happen. No more dodging the truth. But the last thing Jake wanted was to disappoint his dad. Again. No matter how he answered the question, he’d have to deal with some sort of disapproval.

  He speared a green bean and poked his fork into one of the remaining bites of meat loaf on his plate.

  “Jake? Did you hear me?”

  “Yeah, I did.” Jake hunched over his plate.

  “Planning to answer anytime tonight?”

  He glanced at Dad. “Why’s that important?”

  Dad reached for his iced tea and sighed. “It’s not, I guess. None of my business, but you’re my son, and I’m concerned. From the moment I saw you two together, something seemed off. And after Claudia mentioned you’d known Tori while you were in the service...well, I couldn’t help but wonder. Are you and Tori married?”

  Jake set his fork on his plate and shoved it aside, his appetite gone. Reaching for his empty glass, he stood and walked to the sink to refill it. He stared out the window and searched his brain for the right words as he downed the cool liquid. He faced Dad and Tuck, who’d also stopped eating and watched him. “My relationship with Tori is...complicated.”

  “How so?”

  “I didn’t know she was Claudia’s niece until she arrived in Shelby Lake. Tori and I met one night at the NCO club on base when she spilled a tray of drinks on me. We started dating.” Jake paused and rubbed a thumb and forefinger over his tired eyes. “She’d just graduated college and was spending the summer with her sister, who had been stationed there with her husband. Kendra is now serving overseas.”

  “Right. Claudia mentioned that. She’s divorced?”

  “Not sure. Tori mentioned her brother-in-law had walked out after Annabeth’s first birthday.”

  “Tori’s a good sister and aunt to step in to care for that little girl.”

  “Yes, she is.” Jake had to give her that.

  “So then what happened?”

  The quicker he said it, the sooner they could end this conversation.

  “We eloped, but our marriage didn’t last long. She’s now my ex-wife. So there you have it.”

  “Whoa.” Tucker, who’d been slouching in his chair, straightened and shot a look at Jake. “Dude, that’s rough.”

  No kidding.

  Dad looked down at his folded hands resting on the table.

  The ticking of the second hand on the clock above the sink competed with the occasional drip from the faucet as the only sounds in the usually noisy room.

  The silence spoke louder than yelling.

  And that was why he’d kept his relationship with Tori to himself all those years.

  Jake scrubbed a hand over his face. Not wanting to see Dad’s disappointment, Jake turned around and started rinsing the dinner dishes and loading them in the dishwasher.

  “Did you divorce her?”

  Jake shut off the water and reached for a dish towel. “What? No way. I love... I loved her. Three weeks into my deployment, divorce papers were delivered through my CO. I was blindsided. I tried to contact her, but she refused to speak to me.”

  “Was that why you took emergency leave to return stateside?”

  “Partly. I wanted to track her down and figure out what had gone wrong. But the night I got the papers, I was supposed to stand duty. My buddy Leo offered to cover for me, and I let him. He was out on patrol and ran over an IED, causing him to lose his leg. It should’ve been me that night. Then while home, the tornado hit. We lost Mom, and suddenly my divorce was the last thing on my mind.”

  Dad struggled to his feet, wincing as he pressed a hand to his lower back. He shuffled over to Jake and cupped his hands over his shoulders. “Son, you’ve had a rough handful of years.”

  Jake looked into his father’s eyes, the same shade as his own. Instead of anger and disapproval, Dad’s tanned face that spoke of years in the outdoors and raising four boys softened. His eyes shadowed with compassion, which caused a sudden knot to twist Jake’s throat.

  Wetness dampened his eyes, and he blinked rapidly to hold back the pressure.

  “I wish you would’ve told us. That’s too heavy of a burden to carry by yourself.”

  “It was a foolish, reckless mistake that resulted in devastating consequences. It was my fault, my responsibility. My burden to bear.”

  “Not true. We’re a family—we share the burdens. And God invites us to come to him with our burdens. He promises to give us rest.”

  “Easier said than done, Pops. Besides, after the tornado nearly destroyed the farm and our family, I had bigger problems to deal with.”

  “Even when we think something’s impossible, everything is possible with God. Claim His promises in faith.”

  Faith.

  He had that once.

  Faith in God. Faith in family. Faith in relationships.

  But that was before life betrayed him and buckled his knees.

  Dad let go of his shoulders and pulled Jake into a hug, wrapping his arms tightly around his stiff body.

  For a moment, Jake felt like a kid again. When he’d had a problem, he’d always gone running to his dad because he’d always have a solution.

  When did he stop running to his father? His Heavenly Father?

  When did he decide he needed to find his own solutions?

  The night Dad’s tough love changed Jake’s life. The night when his own stupidity and reckless choice of underage drinking to impress a girl got him arrested and landed him in jail, causing him to lose his college scholarship. When Dad reminded him he needed to find a solution to his problem. And the next day he’d enlisted in the Marine Corps.

  Closing his eyes, he drew in the strength from Dad’s muscular arms. Maybe, just maybe, he could hold on to some of that strength for those days when he didn’t feel so strong, when he didn’t have the solutions. Only problems.

  Second to his granddad, Dad was the wisest man Jake knew. He’d always admired his ability to hold on to
his faith even after grieving the loss of his wife, multiple surgeries to repair the damage to his back and needing to rebuild the farm passed down to him by his father.

  Dad released him and clapped him on the back. “It’s not too late, you know.”

  “What isn’t?”

  “Another chance with Tori. If you still love her, fight for her. Her showing up at Holland Hill could be God offering the two of you a second chance. Question is, are you willing to step out in faith to take it?”

  At one time he’d vowed before God to love, honor and cherish her, but that love had been eaten away by heartache and his own failure to make his wife happy.

  “And when it doesn’t work out? Then what?”

  “Life doesn’t promise guarantees, Jake. And you can’t stop taking risks to prevent the hurts from happening. Give her a reason to stay.” Dad took the dish towel from him and flung it over his shoulder. “We’re Holland strong, remember? We may bend, but we can’t be broken. Given the junk we’ve gone through in the past five years, that’s saying a lot. Let me finish these dishes. I’ve been sitting too long today and my bones are stiff.”

  Needing some fresh air, Jake headed for the screen door. He stepped outside to find Tucker stretched out on one of the wooden deck chairs, his eyes closed and his hands tucked behind his neck. “He’s right, you know.”

  “Who?” Jake knew the answer, but asking the question gave him a second more time to brace himself for the knowledge his younger brother wanted to drop on him.

  “Dad.” Tucker sat up and flung his legs over the side of the chair, bracing his elbows on his knees. He twisted the wedding ring he still wore two years after his wife’s tragic death due to a food allergy. “Life doesn’t promise a guarantee. Or a happily-ever-after. I mean, we thought Mom and Dad were going to be together forever. Then Mom was killed. I never expected to be a widower in my twenties trying to raise two babies on my own. Life stinks at times, bro. No denying that. I’m sorry to hear what happened between you and Tori. But she’s here now. Man, if I had a second chance with Rayne, I’d be all over that. If you want a second chance with Tori, fight for her because you never know how long you’re going to have together. Don’t waste a minute of it.”