Coming home and finding Josh being fucked… He now understood what people meant when they said their vision went all red-hot and hazy. He’d been on him in a second, had never even recognized Connor. To be true, he hadn’t been expecting him either. Why the hell had Josh felt he’d had to keep his relationship with the cop a secret? How often had they met before without him or Indy knowing? It left a sour taste in Noah’s mouth, that his best friend hadn’t trusted him.
And the fact that Connor had not only known Indy’s true identity but was in fact connected to the family that had made his life hell. At first, Noah had been ready to beat the shit out of Connor all over again. But when the cop had explained, every word had sounded sincere. He wasn’t lying—at least, as far as Noah could tell. He couldn’t blame Indy for wanting to make sure.
He’d tried to talk about it with Indy last night, but he’d waved Noah off. He wanted a distraction, not a conversation. So Noah had given him a blow job and had made love to him after. The sex had been great, but it had been hell on his stump, especially the constant friction with the sheets. He’d woken up from the throbbing pain a few times that night.
He’d checked it when he was alone. An old friction wound at the bottom of the stump had opened up again last week and had gotten a bit infected. This morning, it had looked worse, fiery red and hot to the touch, but he’d have to ride it out. There was no way he was having it checked out, not when Indy and Josh were depending on him to keep them safe. Noah wasn’t going anywhere until he knew for a fact Connor wasn’t about to screw Indy over.
He’d taken a triple dose of Ibuprofen minutes earlier, as well as a couple of acetaminophen. The first should help with the infection and the latter with the slight fever he suspected he was sporting. God, he hoped they’d tide him over when they were playing paintball. What the hell had Josh been thinking when he came up with that asinine idea? He slid his limb into the socket and rolled up the sleeve to create a seal with the liner. He had to fight back the tears of pain that sprung to his eyes. Hot damn, this was gonna be a long day.
“You okay?” Indy asked. Noah hadn’t even heard him step into the bedroom. “You look like you’re in pain.”
“Yeah, a little. The painkillers should kick in in a few minutes.”
Indy frowned. “You took painkillers?”
“Uhm, yeah? That’s what they’re for, you know. You’re supposed to take them when you have pain.”
“Don’t get smart with me. I’ve never seen you take them before.”
Noah shrugged, cursing the fact that Indy was so fucking perceptive. There was little that escaped him, and this was one of those times Noah wasn’t too happy about that. “I’m careful because I don’t want to get addicted. It’s all too easy when you’re in actual pain.”
Indy lowered himself on the bed next to him, his brows furrowed. “Are you sure paintballing is a good idea for you right now?”
Noah rolled his pants over his prosthesis, shot Indy an apologetic look. “Probably not. But I can’t refuse Josh this, not after what I did to Connor. And there’s no way I’m letting Connor out of my sight, not until we know for sure he’s not a threat to you.”
Indy snuggled close, lowered his head on Noah’s shoulder. “You’re a good man, Noah Flint. I don’t always appreciate that ego of yours, especially not in combination with that massive amount of guilt you carry around, but your heart is pure gold, baby. I love how you take care of us.”
Noah’s heart filled with joy. This. This was what he did it for. The knowledge that Indy was safe, with him. “How are you feeling?” he asked.
Indy sighed. “Scared shitless.”
Noah looked at his watch. They had an hour before they had to leave. “Let’s lie down for a few minutes, talk.”
He bit back the pain that stabbed through his leg as he maneuvered himself down on the bed, pulling Indy close. Indy’s head rested on his left shoulder, and the boy’s left hand found his favorite spot under Noah’s shirt, on his belly. Indy loved to play with his belly button, for some reason. It could drive Noah wild with want, but he endured it like he tolerated so many other things Indy did that affected him deeply. Indy had no idea, and Noah kept it that way. At least for now while he was still vulnerable.
“What are you scared of, babe?” he asked.
Indy was quiet for a long time. “That they’ll find me. Torture me before they kill me.” He shivered, and Noah kissed the top of his head, pushing back the anger inside. The idea of anyone hurting his Indy, it was almost too much to bear. “But I’m most of all scared they’ll find me with you and Josh. They’ll kill you, too, and if they ever find out what you mean to me, they’ll use you against me.”
His voice broke. Noah held him tight, at a loss for words. There was nothing he could say, for they both knew how real that threat was.
“Do you believe Connor?” he asked finally.
“Yeah, I do. His surprise at finding out who I am was genuine. If he’d been close to the Fitzpatricks, he would’ve made me after the robbery. There’s no way he wouldn’t have known what I looked like, because finding me has got to be a priority for them.”
Connor had mentioned a contract on Indy’s life. Somehow, that was even scarier than the threat of the Fitzpatricks finding him. With them, you knew what you were looking for. With a contract, it could be anyone they met.
“Plus, his whole career in the Marines. He’s highly decorated, you know. You don’t serve that long, that well if your character isn’t morally sound,” Noah added.
“I agree, but I need to be one hundred percent certain. I’ll have to work on a way to contact the DA and get him to verify Connor’s story. Fuck, I wish Josh would’ve chosen a different boyfriend.”
A fresh wave of guilt hit Noah. “I’m sorry for my role in that. I sort of pushed him in Josh's direction, without ever thinking about the threat he’d be to you. It was thoughtless of me.”
Indy’s index finger found his belly button and played with it. Noah’s cock stirred in response, but he ignored it. “It’s okay. I like him, and I calculate he’d be good for Josh.”
“He’d better be,” Noah said darkly.
“Oh, fuck off. Josh can fight his own battles when it comes to his love life. He doesn’t need you to complicate it even more. Besides, you said it yourself: Connor looks at Josh like he hung the frigging moon.”
Noah sighed. The thought of Josh and Connor together made him feel weird. Not jealous, thank fuck for that. More like sad, melancholy. It was the end of an era, and it also meant he was in serious shit, because there was no way Connor would allow Josh to be fucked by Noah. Not that Noah could blame him. The fact that Indy was okay with it was a fucking miracle.
“Did you see Connor’s cock?” Indy whispered.
“No. I was preoccupied at the time as you may recall. You had me in a pretty effective hold, by the way. Impressive.”
Indy giggled. “His cock is huge. Seriously, I’m talking absolutely ginormous.”
Noah’s eyes widened. “How big are we talking? Give it to me in inches.”
“Fuck, I dunno. Maybe, what, nine, ten inches?”
Noah whistled softly between his teeth. “Damn, that’s impressive.”
Indy let out the cutest snicker. “He’s thick, too. Huge balls. The whole package is fucking intimidating. Must make Josh happy, though.”
Noah frowned. “Why would that make Josh happy?”
Indy pushed himself up on Noah’s chest to look at him. “You’re kidding, right?”
“No. What am I missing?”
“Josh likes it rough. He craves a little pain with his pleasure, you know that. That’s why he gets off on you fucking him so hard when you’re stressed out. A cock that size, man, that has got to fulfill him. Plus, Connor looks like he may be the kind of dominant Josh needs.”
Indy put his head back in his previous spot. Noah subtly rearranged himself, his cock having grown even harder after their conversation. Of course, he’d known
Josh liked it hard. He’d simply never connected the dots that way, had never realized Josh would want more than being fucked hard. It made sense. And if Connor was into that kind of shit, power to him.
Indy’s hand trailed lower on his stomach and slipped under his boxers. Noah groaned involuntarily. “You’re such a horny fucker,” Indy teased. “You’d think you never got off, but I’m pretty sure you came hard last night.”
“All that sex talk got me excited, so sue me. I’m a guy, you know,” Noah made light of it.
Indy’s hand found his cock and scratched it with his nail from the base to the tip. Noah shivered. Fuck, he hoped Indy was willing to do more than tease. If not, he’d have to jack off before they left.
“Well, I’m a guy, too. So what do we do about this?”
The tone of Indy’s voice told Noah he was down for a round. Thank fuck. He wriggled his left hand between their bodies, reaching for Indy’s dick to find it equally hard. “I say we make it fast and dirty. We don’t have much time.”
Indy laughed. “I like the way you think.”
He sat up to yank down his pants, didn’t even bother with his shirt. Noah dragged his zipper down, shoved his pants over his hips and left them there. Too much trouble to take them off. Plus, it would be way too painful to doff the prosthesis again.
Indy angled for the lube on the nightstand and managed to reach it with his fingertips. He squeezed out some gel on Noah’s fingers and took another dollop himself. They worked fast, Noah coating his cock, jacking off till he was hard as iron, and Indy loosening himself up. He’d gotten good at relaxing and only needed a little prep before Noah could take him.
Indy slung one leg over him and straddled him. “I’ll ride you.”
It was what Noah had wanted to suggest because there was no way he could put weight on his leg right now. Had Indy sensed it? Noah didn’t know, but he was damn grateful.
Indy positioned himself, spreading his ass wide open. Noah watched as he lowered himself on Noah’s cock, taking him in inch by inch. It never failed to take his breath away, this slender man filling himself with sheer lust on his face. Noah had no doubt Indy wanted him. This wasn’t out of obligation or guilt. This was pure desire, want.
He let out a contented sigh as his cock was engulfed in that moist, hot cave. So tight. So deep. So fucking good.
Indy gyrated his hips, sighing deeply. He took his own cock in his right hand, raised his hips and lowered himself with precision. His eyes closed, his jaw set tight with concentration. He was lost to everything and anything, it seemed, except for the sensations riding Noah delivered.
Noah put his hands on Indy’s hips to help lift him up and push him down. He arched his back and closed his eyes, too. His cock throbbed, his balls were already tightening. Tingles of pleasure raced over his hot skin. He needed this release. Badly. Please, let it help with the pain. Even now, his limb was throbbing.
He opened his eyes again, not wanting to miss out on watching Indy ride him. “You feel amazing,” he said, his voice raw. “You’re perfect on my cock. So damn tight.”
Indy smiled a hot, sexy smile. “You’re perfect in my ass. So damn full.”
Indy's body jerked as he sank down, probably from Noah hitting his sweet spot. Little drops of sweat pearled on his forehead. His hand jerked his cock with rough gestures, keeping rhythm with his hips.
“You’re so beautiful,” Noah said in awe. “I could watch you ride me for hours.”
Indy laughed with abandonment, never faltering in his pace. Up and down those hips went, sucking Noah in again and again in that perfect warm spot. “Not gonna last that long.”
Noah’s balls pulled up, the tension in his body building. Maybe the release would bring him some relief from the pain. Oh, God, please.
Indy shifted, moving his legs a few inches farther down. One second Noah was gasping with pleasure, his cock taken in even deeper, the next, white-hot pain assaulted his body. Indy’s foot had grazed his stump, causing a torture so blinding it took his breath away. He yelled out, his body cramping up.
“Fuck! I’m sorry, Noah…”
Indy climbed off, careful not to touch his leg again, but it didn’t matter anymore. Noah closed his eyes, waiting with clenched fists for the pain to subside.
Oh, fuck, fuck, motherfucking hell. This was bad. What the fuck was wrong with the stump? It should not be hurting this much.
His stomach rolled in protest. He would not throw up, dammit. His cock had gone instantly soft, agony overriding all pleasure. Finally, he managed a shaky intake of breath, forcing his muscles to relax.
“Dammit, Indy, you have to be more careful.”
The second the snarky words left his mouth, he regretted them. It wasn’t fair to take this out on Indy.
“I’m so sorry, Noah…” The anguish in Indy’s voice broke his heart. Fuck, he was such a bastard.
The bed moved, and seconds later, Indy was out of the room. Noah covered his eyes with his hands, his soul hurting as much as his body. Would he ever get it right with Indy? The man deserved more than a crippled boyfriend with anger issues. Fuck, he was failing everybody.
First, he’d fucked it up with Indy with that stupid move of bringing up the sex when they were on a date. Dates with him were rare since he was not keen on going out in public. But Noah had convinced him, had assured him he was fine with Indy dressing like a woman. What the fuck did he care as long as they were together? Well, that had gone well, with them going home before they even got to see the movie.
Then he’d beat Connor up, and in the process, managed to piss Josh off. It had led to them saying shit they should’ve said ages ago, but still. He’d fucked things up again this morning by wanting to walk in on them. Shit, he didn’t even know what had come over him. He’d heard them having sex and had wanted to catch them in the act. What the hell was wrong with him that he would do something like that? It hadn’t even been jealousy. Not in the sense that he was jealous Josh was with someone else. It was more that he wanted to let Connor know who was boss. Pathetic, now that he thought about it.
And now, he’d hurt Indy. Again. He’d been in horrible pain, but that was no excuse.
“Fuck!” he shouted, then again, “Fuck!”
He dragged himself off the bed, biting back the gasps of pain. He was not canceling on Josh, not after what he’d done to him, but he needed more painkillers if he was going to make it through the day.
With effort, he made his way into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. His hand hovering, he hesitated. He’d been legally prescribed them, but he knew how addictive they were. Was this a smart choice? Fuck it, he needed them. There was no way he would survive today without something stronger than over-the-counter painkillers.
He grabbed the Oxy, popped one before he could change his mind, swallowing it dry. He palmed two more and put them in his pocket. That would last him through the day. After that, he’d see about his leg. It would have to wait until everything had calmed down.
8
Connor had never been on a paintball range before. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected, but it wasn’t the huge terrain in the middle of nowhere where they parked. The field on his three o’clock had knee-high grass, with bales of hay spread out to hide behind. It didn’t look like much of a challenge.
Near the entrance was another field, much bigger. It was a mix of frozen mud and sand, with sparse bushes thrown in as well as ramshackle walls, sheds, and half-collapsed structures, and a few rusty cars. Some buildings had second stories, with wooden stairs giving access. Everything was covered in bright splatters of paint, resulting in a colorful, yet eerie appearance.
Noah and Indy were walking in front of Connor, Noah kissing Indy’s head. It seemed like they’d made up after what had obviously been a fight earlier that morning. Connor didn’t need to guess what that had been about—undoubtedly his name had fallen a few times. He was so damn sorry for the shitty circumstances in which he’d met Indy. He seemed li
ke a great guy, but Connor’s connection to his fucked-up family overshadowed anything else. Connor couldn’t blame him, not with all he knew about his family. They were monsters, every single one of them, but Duncan especially. And from what he’d heard, it had only gotten worse since Stephan had disappeared.
“Welcome to PB Extreme. You guys ever been here before?”
A young guy, maybe twenty, welcomed them with a big smile. They were the only customers even though it was much warmer than the previous days, and last week’s snow had already melted. Guess few people wanted to be outside anyway. Connor didn’t mind. The cold was better than the desert heat.
Noah shook his head on behalf of all four of them.
“Okay, my name is Cory, and I’ll be explaining the rules today. Any military experience amongst the four of you?”
Josh casually pointed them out. “US Marine. Army medic. He’s got no military experience, but he’s a badass shooter.”
Connor hadn’t realized Indy could shoot well. It made sense, being around a Boston crime family. And he’d been able to identify that robber’s gun in an instant.
“And yourself?” Cory asked Josh.
“He’s one of the best snipers the Army has ever seen,” Noah said with audible pride.
Connor expected Josh to blush as he so often did when he was embarrassed, but he didn’t. Interesting. Apparently, he wasn’t flustered by Noah’s high praise. Connor couldn’t wait to see Josh in action.
“Well, that will make my explanation a hell of a lot shorter,” Cory grinned. “Since there’s only four of you, we’ll let you use the pinball guns with clips. It holds twenty paint bullets, so aim well.”
Ten minutes later, they were all suited up in camouflage gear, complete with jackets, helmets, and gloves. It felt different from his Marine cammies, but still more familiar than he’d expected. Josh inspected the paintball rifle they had all received. They carried clips with extra ammo in the side pockets of their pants. Connor watched in fascination as Josh brought the paint rifle to his shoulder, felt the trigger, seemed to get used to the weight and feel of it.
No Shame: The Complete Series: Including exclusive bonus materials and deleted scenes Page 37