No Shame: The Complete Series: Including exclusive bonus materials and deleted scenes

by Phoenix, Nora

  “Yes, puppy, it does. Now, eat your lamb, Aaron.”

  They talked for the rest of the meal about anything and everything. He ordered a shared dessert for them, something chocolatey that had Aaron drooling.

  “Blake, can we stop by Josh’s? I wanna make sure they’re all okay.”

  “Sure thing. Do you want me to call?”

  Aaron sent him a look of relief. “Would you, please?”

  “That’s what you have me for. Let me pay and then we’ll call them, okay?”

  Indy didn’t sound thrilled, but he said it was okay if they came by, as long as they were okay with watching the game with them. The Pats hadn’t made it to the Super Bowl this year, but Indy and the others still wanted to watch. Blake could only imagine they needed the distraction, too.

  As Blake drove, Aaron hesitantly put his hand on Blake’s thigh. Blake put his own hand on top for a second and squeezed it. “You can always touch me, Aaron. Always.”

  Aaron let out a sigh. “I feel better when I touch you. Crazy, huh?”

  Blake shrugged. “Whatever makes you feel good, puppy. I love it when you’re close to me.”

  He drove straight to Josh's house and parked in the driveway. Indy had asked him to ring the bell a certain way so they’d know it was them. He followed instructions, and they were ushered in by Connor, who used the opportunity to quickly check the street behind them.

  “Hey,” Josh greeted them. He was lounging on the couch, probably against Connor before the cop had gotten up to open the door. Noah and Indy were in one of the chairs, cuddling. The TV was on low, playing a commercial.

  Blake nodded to each of them and took a spot on the other chair. Before he could say anything, Aaron lowered himself on the ground at his feet. He shuffled until his back was leaning against Blake’s legs. He looked up as if to ask permission if it was okay. Blake reached out and petted his hair a little before he leaned back again.

  “I can get an extra chair,” Connor said.

  “Nah. Aaron’s fine where he is,” Blake said. Aaron rubbed his leg in agreement, and Blake smiled. It seemed his words had given Aaron a certain amount of freedom to explore. Blake loved seeing him experiment with who he was and what he liked.

  Josh's eyebrows rose ever so slightly, and Indy shot Blake a curious smile, but no one said anything. Blake had expected nothing else in a household where they were all fucking each other, as far as he could tell.

  “We were wondering how you are all doing after the news of this morning,” he said.

  Connor sat down on the couch, and Josh snuggled close. It seemed the brothers shared that need for touching, Blake mused.

  “We’re trying to figure out what to do next,” Noah said.

  Blake could easily read between the lines. They were trying to find a step that wouldn’t separate Indy from everyone else.

  Connor said, “We’ve contacted the FBI through my chief. They’re interested in Indy’s testimony and have indicated they’re willing to do anything to keep him safe.”

  “Witness Protection,” Blake said. “I can’t imagine that would include all four of you.”

  “No. Only Indy, and maybe if we play hardball, Noah. But he’s a risk because of his prosthesis and the appointments he still needs as part of his recovery process. It makes him too easily identifiable.” Connor kept it factual, but the emotions were audible in his voice.

  “And you want to stay together,” Blake concluded.

  “Yeah. We’re kind of a package deal,” Connor said.

  “And did they give any indication of how long it would take before the trial?”

  Connor scoffed. “Anything from six months to a year. And then the trial itself could take weeks, too, if not more.”

  Blake sighed, understanding their conundrum. The sound of an engine shutting off made him perk his ears. He cocked his head.

  Connor went on full alert at the same time. “Someone’s here,” he snapped.

  They all listened, but there were no sounds of car doors being closed. Someone did not want to be heard. Not good.

  “Indy, go!” Connor hissed. With a desperate look at Noah, Indy scrambled off his lap. He disappeared into a door, presumably leading to the basement, never turning on the light. At the same time, the doorbell rang.

  Connor drew a gun Blake had never even spotted him wearing, putting it between the pillows of the couch. Much to Blake’s surprise, Josh pulled a gun from his side as well and put it behind his back in his waistband, handling the gun with incredible confidence. Right, army guy.

  “I’ll go,” Noah said. “It’s my house. You’re visiting,” he snapped to Blake and Aaron.

  Aaron trembled against Blake’s leg, and Blake put his hand on the kid’s shoulder. “Stay calm,” he whispered.

  Noah rose and made it to the front door, leaning on his crutch. Blake held his breath as Noah opened the door.

  “Hi,” he said. “Can I help you?”

  “Good evening. We’re looking for Indiana Baldwin. We were told he was staying here.”

  Blake recognized the voice as belonging to one of the guys who’d broken in and signaled to Connor. Oh, God.

  “Who?”

  “Move over, lame ass,” another voice said.

  “Hey!” Noah furiously called out. Rattling noises came from the hallway as Noah was knocked down, his crutch clattering on the floor.

  Fucking hell, this was not good. Blake jumped up from the chair, pushed back Aaron. “Get down!”

  As soon as Blake saw the first guy, his foot shot out. He nailed him with one solid kick, and the guy sagged to the floor. He got back in defensive position, ready to meet whomever came next.

  “What the fuck?” a voice called out.

  The second guy stepped into his vision, raising his right hand, holding a gun. If he fired that, someone would get killed. Blake jumped and attacked. He brought the guy down to the floor, slamming them both into the narrow wall between the hallway and the living room. He reached for the hand that held the gun, clamped it. It jerked and an ear-splitting bang made him dizzy for a second. Fuck, it had gone off after all. He increased the pressure on the guy’s wrist, moving until he felt the bone break. The guy yelled out in pain.

  He lashed out with his foot to take him out, only to discover his leg wouldn’t cooperate. What the fuck? Why couldn’t he move? Everything slowed down, as if someone had hit slow motion.

  Someone yelling from the hallway.

  Noah shouting, panicking.

  Aaron screamed.

  “Albany PD, drop your weapon!”

  Connor.

  Another gun shot.

  His ears buzzed.

  Shouting, but farther away.

  Breaking glass. Running footsteps.

  Another shot.

  A fierce burn in his chest.

  “Stay down!”

  Josh.

  Three shots in rapid succession.

  Silence.

  He blinked, his vision blurring.

  “Clear!” Connor yelled. “I need to hear you. Josh?”

  “I’m good.”

  “Hand me the gun, Josh. Aaron?”

  “Good.”

  Blake let out his breath. Aaron was okay. That was all that mattered. His puppy was okay.

  “Noah?”

  “Okay. Blake’s shot.”

  Blake blinked again. Shot? He was shot? Noah had to be mistaken because he didn’t feel anything. He was a little dizzy at the most. Noah’s face appeared above him.

  “Talk to me, Blake.”

  One second he felt fine, the next a hundred-pound weight had been dropped on his chest.

  “Not good,” he managed, wheezing for breath.

  “We need an ambulance!” Noah shouted.

  “On it. Josh, give me your gun. I need to wipe it. Assist Noah and make sure you get as much blood on your hands as possible. Everyone, cover your ears for a second.”

  Three more gunshots rang out, Blake’s nostrils filling wit
h gun smoke. Why the hell was Connor shooting? And why the fuck did it hurt so much to breathe?

  “His lung collapsed. Get me our first aid kit and the straw from a water bottle.” Noah’s hands were touching him everywhere. “Connor, tell them to hurry the fuck up! Double gun shot wound, through and through to his femur, no exit wound in his chest.”

  So hard to breathe.

  “Aaron,” he wheezed.

  “I’m right here.”

  Soft lips on his forehead. His puppy. Thank fuck he was okay.

  “Blake, your lung collapsed and I’m gonna have to re-inflate it. This is gonna hurt like hell, so hang on. Aaron, keep him calm. Let him hear you, see you, keep touching him. Josh, hold him down. If he moves, I could kill him.”

  In the background, Connor was yelling at something. Or someone.

  Blake felt himself fade until an excruciating pain in his side woke him up. His vision black, every breath a fight, all he could do was focus on Aaron’s voice. “Blake, I’m here. I’m right here.”

  Black spots danced around the edges of his awareness, but Aaron moved into his field of vision. He held his gaze, whispering words Blake couldn’t even understand. This was not how it was supposed to be. He had to take care of Aaron, not the other way around. Tears of pain streamed down his face.

  A soft hiss sounded, and it felt like a balloon inflated inside him. He drew a breath, coughed, and breathed again.

  “Lung’s back,” Noah said. “Take it easy, Blake. Try to breathe normally. Josh, wrap a tight bandage around his thigh.”

  “Guys,” Connor said. “Ambulance is three minutes out. Listen carefully. I shot them, okay? Not Josh, me. Switch positions for me and Josh through the whole thing. It’s okay to be confused and say you don’t remember.”

  “Indy?” Noah asked.

  “Gone, I assume. He’ll reconnect, Noah. He’s safe.”

  A wave of dizziness hit Blake. “Don’t feel good,” he mumbled. He coughed, his chest spasming. Bitter liquid pooled in his mouth and he gagged.

  Noah cursed. “Oh, dammit to hell.”

  Blake’s eyes fluttered shut despite his efforts to focus on Aaron’s pretty blue eyes.

  So tired.

  12

  “O’Connor! What the fucking hell?”

  Connor rose from the squeaky chair in the interrogation room. “Chief.”

  “Sit your ass down. I’m told you shot and killed three men tonight. What the fuck happened? Was this at your place?”

  Connor lowered himself on the chair, forced his breathing down. He’d survived being held hostage by the Taliban. He could damn well handle a friendly interrogation by his own chief. “No, sir, it was at my boyfriend’s house.”

  The chief didn’t even blink, which meant the boyfriend part was not news to him. Connor wasn’t surprised. He’d met a colleague at the hospital when Noah had been admitted for his surgery, so he must have spread the word.

  “We were having friends over. The doorbell rang, Noah opened the door and immediately was attacked. One of my friends runs a jiujitsu school. He took down two assailants but got shot by a third in the process before I managed to shoot him. Two more men came in through the back door, firing shots, and I took them down. Sir.”

  “Who was present, aside from yourself?”

  “My boyfriend, Joshua Gordon. His roommate, Noah Flint. Two friends of ours, Blake Kent, and Aaron Gordon, Josh’s brother. Blake’s the one who was shot twice, sir.”

  “And you were the only one who fired shots?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Did you know these men?”

  This was where it got tricky. “No, sir, not personally. But I believe they’re connected to the Fitzpatricks, sir.” When he’d gotten hired, he’d informed the chief about his family, figuring it’d be better to be open about it than have them find out later.

  “You think this was personal, aimed at you?”

  He nodded. “Yes, sir.” It was the only believable explanation he’d been able to come up with without implicating Indy. Why else would five Boston gangsters attack a random house in New York?

  “I thought you lived in an apartment.”

  “I did, sir, till recently. I moved in with Josh a few weeks ago.”

  “And with his roommate.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Who also happens to be Josh’s ex.”

  Connor’s expression soured. “Yes.”

  “Don’t give me that, O’Connor. You know the gossip mill works fine here. I don’t give a shit whether you’re gay, and whether you’re involved with one or both of them, you hear me?” The chief leaned forward. “You know IA will investigate this shooting, so until further notice you’re on non-active duty with pay. Be smart, and contact your union rep. And O’Connor?”

  “Yeah, chief?”

  “If I were you, I’d come up with a reasonable explanation for two facts. The first is why you used a gun registered to Joshua Gordon to shoot these intruders, and not your own service weapon, or the private gun registered in your name. But more importantly, I’d try and explain how you managed to shoot three guys in the exact same place: straight through the heart. You’re a decent shot, O’Connor, but that’s pretty fucking impressive considering the chaos that had to be going on around you, wouldn’t you agree?”

  Connor kept his expression carefully blank. “Yes, sir.”

  “You know we tested you for gunshot residue, and it came back positive.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “We did the same for the others. Aaron Gordon tested negative, but of course both Noah Flint and Joshua Gordon had scrubbed their hands squeaky clean, because they’d been elbow-deep covered in Blake Kent’s blood.”

  “Yes, sir. Noah is a trauma physician assistant at Albany General and a former army medic. He attended to Blake right after he was shot. Blake flatlined in the ambulance, and Noah had to do another surgical procedure en route to the hospital, both with Josh assisting him. I’d imagine they wanted to wash their hands as soon as they’d arrived at the hospital.”

  The chief stared at him for five long seconds. “Yes, I would imagine so. They tested negative.”

  “Of course, sir. They were nowhere near my gun when it went off.”

  The chief nodded. “We’ve ID’d the five men who attacked you. They’re all known associates from Duncan Fitzpatrick. Of course, the two who survived aren’t talking.”

  “They never do, sir. Duncan pays them well to keep their mouths shut. It’s why he’s never been caught.”

  “Well, personally I couldn’t care less that three of these motherfuckers are dead. And the other two will go to prison for armed house robbery, because I assume that’s what we’re going with, correct?”

  Connor nodded. “That seems smart, sir.”

  “What seems smart, O’Connor, is that you think carefully about your statements, and that you make sure the facts line up. As I said, IA will be interested in knowing how you suddenly developed into such a crack shot. They’d rather expect that from, say, a former army sniper. Of course, with him being treated for PTSD, it’s unlikely that he would have the presence of mind in a situation like that to shoot, wouldn’t you agree?”

  Connor nodded. “I couldn’t agree with you more, sir. Josh is fragile, especially in violent situations, which are a known trigger for him. As a matter of fact, he’s considering voluntarily admitting himself to a psychiatric hospital for a complete evaluation and treatment and to prevent escalation of his symptoms due to this event.”

  A hint of a smile appeared on the chief’s mouth. “I’m glad to hear you’re taking his mental health so seriously. Go home, get some rest.”

  “I’m on my way to the hospital, actually, sir. Blake isn’t out of surgery yet, and I’m anxious to get an update.”

  The chief nodded. “I hope he makes a full recovery, O’Connor. All of you.”

  Connor rushed to the hospital as fast as he could. Dammit, he hoped Josh was okay. He’d hated leaving him li
ke that, but he had to follow protocol if he wanted to avoid all suspicion. He found them in the waiting room, having been told where they were by a nurse. Josh was sitting between Noah and Aaron, holding both their hands.

  “Connor,” Josh exhaled as soon as he spotted him. He jumped up and closed the distance between them.

  Connor embraced him hard, kissing him gently after. “You okay?” He searched his blue eyes.

  “Yeah. I’m good. Noah and Aaron are keeping me steady.”

  Aaron? Huh, there’s a surprise. “How’s Blake?” he asked Noah. “Any news?”

  “He’s still in surgery. They were able to repair his femur, but the bullet to his chest did a lot of damage. I had to open his chest in the ambulance, do a buddy transfusion.”

  “What’s that?”

  “It’s a transfusion from one donor directly to the recipient. Luckily, both Josh and Aaron are O neg, meaning they’re universal donors. I hooked them up to Blake to transfuse him en route since he was losing too much blood. It was a little cramped in the back of that ambulance, but we made it work.”

  “Noah saved his life,” Josh said.

  “Well, Blake pretty much saved all of ours,” Noah said. “If he hadn’t reacted so damn fast, they would have taken us all out. That being said, I’m gonna catch hell over this. Paramedics weren’t too happy with me doing unauthorized procedures, considering I’m not a doctor. They objected every step of the way and already reported me.”

  “The fact that you saved his life doesn’t make a difference?” Connor asked.

  Noah huffed. “Hospital procedures, man. I can’t imagine police procedures being much different.”

  He had a point there. Still, they’d cross that bridge when they got to it. At least Blake was still alive, thanks to Noah.

  Connor’s eyes focused on Aaron, who was motionless in his chair. He looked white as a sheet, but he was hanging in there. “You okay there, Aaron?”

  “Yeah. I’m fine. I was more concerned about Josh.”

  Connor looked at Josh again, who shot him a guilty look. “I had trouble staying in the present,” he said. “But Aaron did a good job distracting me, especially when Noah had to leave for a bit to get cleaned up.”