He threw his head in his neck, roared, and fucked. And fucked. And fucked.
When another orgasm hit, his knees buckled with the sheer force of it, and Noah’s hands shot out to steady him. “I’ve got you, Connor.”
He pulled out, finally, his cock sore and his balls aching. He was half out of it, still, as he soon around and kissed Noah with a bruising kiss. Wait, what? He was kissing Noah? What the fuck?
Noah grinned, touching his lips. “Wrong guy, O’Connor.” He spun him around, pushed him toward Josh, who stood there, smiling. Tenderness flooded him, and he sighed as he took his lips in a soft, sweet kiss. His Josh. What had he ever done to deserve someone like him?
“Let’s get you cleaned up, stud,” Josh said. He was led to the bathroom, where Josh cleaned his cock, then offered him boxers.
He shook his head. “No. Too tender.”
The fog was slowly lifting. Had he left Brad there, all by himself? Shit, he was a total asshole.
“They’re taking care of him,” Josh reassured him. “You fucked him into subspace, a first for him.”
“I need to see him, make sure he’s okay.”
They walked back to the kitchen, Connor still slightly unsteady. Miles was seated on a chair, Brad draped half across his lap, with Miles’ cock in his mouth, which he was sucking off with glazed eyes. It was more suckling he did, really, as if the sensation of a cock in his mouth soothed him. Meanwhile, Miles was spanking him gently, but steadily.
“He’s completely out of it,” Josh said softly. “He’s in heaven.”
“How do we take care of him afterward?” Charlie asked.
“That first time is very disorienting, so you’ll need to let him come down gently. Put him in a bath, cuddle, let him slowly come to his senses. After that, the pain is gonna hit hard. He’ll need aloe lotion for his ass cheeks, and I have some oils for his hole. You may also want to give him some Ibuprofen, and he really needs a good night sleep. He’ll be exhausted, probably tomorrow as well,” Josh explained.
“Thank fuck it’s break, then,” Charlie said. “‘Cause I don’t think he’ll be able to walk tomorrow.”
Deleted Scene No Shame (4)
Note
This scene takes place after they come back from Lucas’s funeral. Timeline-wise it doesn’t fit in completely with the original book, since I changed it there, so again, there will be small inconsistencies…
If you’ve already read No Angel, you’ll notice that I used big chunks of this scene for the final chapter there (if you haven’t read it, you may want to read that first to get the “official” order…). I had written this whole scene for the fourth book, but I didn’t feel it was right for them. Not yet. They still had some serious growing to do before they were ready for this.
So I took it out and kept it, not knowing I would later write No Angel and be able to use it there. I decided to include it in this box set so you could see my thought process here. Hope you enjoy and appreciate it. It’s unedited.
Deleted Scene No Shame (4)
They had a bbq that night, at Connor’s request. He’d said Lucas loved nothing more than a bbq with friends, and so they celebrated his life together with juicy steaks, salads, and all kinds of non-alcoholic drinks. Blake and Aaron had declined the invitation, since Blake didn’t want to miss a jiujitsu tournament some of his students were participating in. Indy had planned to participate in that same tournament, but he’d canceled because of the funeral.
Indy had been keeping an eye on Josh ever since they’d left for DC that morning. He’d held it together, but it had been a close call at times. Right now, he was good, playing a round of chess with Brad. The two had discovered a mutual love for that game this week, which no one else shared. But Josh would definitely need to be worked over later, and not through sex. Hopefully Connor would be able to provide Josh with what he needed, but Indy wasn’t sure if Connor would be in the right frame of mind. He might need a little stress relief himself. If not, they’d have to ask Miles again. It was such a relief to have back up for Connor in that sense.
Damn, he was so happy Miles, Brad, and Charlie were moving in. Well, technically they had never left. Noah had spoken with a contractor earlier in the week, had gotten a reasonable quote on the renovation they wanted to do. The contractor was the brother of a former colleague of Connor’s. Apparently, he’d lost everything he had in a fire recently, and could use this job to get back on his feet.
Miles had taken the first steps to sell his DC apartment. He’d officially quit the FBI, and would be renting an office space in town to start his own practice. Indy had no doubt the man had made the right decision. He was much calmer than he’d been when they first met. More centered, balanced. Charlie and Brad had played a big part in that, too, of course.
Charlie was interesting. Indy still hadn’t figured him out completely. He’d been through a lot, yet he seemed relatively unaffected. He’d asked Noah how that was possible, considering the abuse he’d suffered. Shouldn’t Charlie have some issues, at least? Noah had said that sometimes the effects didn’t manifest till later, but that some people were simply better able to cope than others. Charlie loved being with Miles and Brad, that much was obvious. The love between him and Brad was especially sweet, and reminded Indy of him and Josh.
Brad had been doing better, too. He could still act out like a teenager at times, but Miles did a great job setting boundaries. Connor had stepped up as well, providing a second authority figure that Brad needed so desperately.
Fuck, compared to all the others, he and Noah was actually rather tame, Indy realized. Between the two of them they had few kinks, just a healthy sex life that satisfied them both. Well, him at least. Noah could probably use a little more than what Indy was able to give him. Indy had come a long way since the sex-starved kid he’d been when he met Noah, the skittish boy who hated being even touched. He loved sex now, which in itself was kind of a miracle, really.
He could see Noah fuck Brad, too, at some point. He didn’t use sex anymore to deal with the pain—the fact that his pain had decreased significantly helped of course—but he still loved to fuck harder and rougher than Indy could take. Wanted to take, was more correct, probably. He didn’t care for it, appreciated the sweet, tender lovemaking ten times over a hard fuck. But his man felt differently.
Indy had asked himself if he would be jealous if Noah fucked Brad, then decided that he really, honestly was not. Not with Brad. Somehow, the fact that the kid craved it so much, loved taking care of people like that, made it different. Yup, they really were kinky fuckers, alright.
Miles was getting restless, Indy noted. Probably due another orgasm. Usually Brad would be all over him, but he was too caught up in his chess game. Charlie, who had been having a quiet conversation with Noah, noticed, too. He got up, smiled at Noah, then made his way over to Miles. He straddled Miles’ lap, took his mouth in a kiss that was so scorching, Indy got hard watching it.
Without missing a beat, Charlie’s hand disappeared into Miles’ pants. The kiss continued, as Charlie’s hand got busy, the moves suggesting he was jerking Miles off—hard.
Fuck, wasn’t it awesome that they could do this out in the open, without being afraid to bother anyone? Their closest neighbors were half a mile away, a thick row of trees and bushes separating the two properties. And no one in this group batted an eye anymore when Miles needed release. They’d grown used to seeing each other naked, fucking, being sucked off, or in the midst of a spanking session. Hell, he’d even walked around the house himself without his shirt on yesterday, not realizing everyone could see his scars till afterward. And he hadn’t cared one bit.
He took a deep breath. “Guys, can we move things inside? I have a suggestion to close off this day, but let’s clean up everything outside first.” He laughed as he spotted Charlie’s indignant expression. “Stop jerking Miles off, Charlie. He already came once, he can wait till his next round.”
Miles groaned in protest. “You’re c
ock-blocking me!”
“I’ve got something better in mind. Trust me.”
After that, everyone was a lot more motivated to help clean things up. Five minutes later, everything had been brought inside, the bbq cooling off, and the cushions all put in the box.
They gathered in the kitchen, as he knew they would. It had become their meeting point, far more than the living room. One more reason to enlarge the kitchen and have a bigger, sturdier table built.
“What did you have in mind, babe?” Noah asked.
Every face turned Indy’s way, and he found himself strangely emotional. “I don’t know if any of you realized today’s date, but it’s kind of a big day for me. Exactly a year ago I met Josh in a Stewart’s during a robbery.”
Noah gasped, looked at Josh. Indy sent them a loving smile. He knew it had slipped their mind, what with the funeral and all. It was okay.
“I saved his life, he keeps telling me…” Indy swallowed, his throat suddenly tight. “But Noah and Josh saved mine. When I met them, I was…broken. Damaged. I’d never known love, and they showed me what love is. They fixed me, made me believe again. They gave me hope.”
He brushed away a tear that had managed to slip through his eyes.
“I love them both more than I thought possible. Noah is my rock, my strong protector—even though I could kick his ass if I wanted to.”
A ripple of laughter golfed through his friends.
“Josh, you’re my soul mate, my other half. You bring me peace, always. I’m so blessed to have both of you in my life.”
The look on both their faces was pure love. His heart felt so full it would burst.
“Connor, you showed me what honor is, brotherhood, and I’m a better person for knowing you. I know Lucas will have felt the same. He’s part of you, just as you are a part of me, of us.”
Josh grabbed Connor’s hand, steadied him.
“Miles, Brad, and Charlie, I am so happy you guys are living with us. I know we’re all bat-shit crazy, and certainly horny as fuck, but life wouldn’t be the same without you. You have helped the four of us find more freedom to be ourselves, no matter what others may think.”
His vision went blurry now from the tears, and he wiped them off impatiently. “When I was a kid, and even more as a teen, I dreamed of only one thing: that one day, I would have my own family. I swore would do better. Guys, you’re my family. Each and everyone of you. I love you all so much.”
Chaos ensued as seven male bodies wanted to hug him, hold him, then hug each other, and do it all over again. Eyes were moist, soft lips kissed his mouth, warm bodies enveloped him, and he loved every second of it.
“Today needs to be celebrated. We need to celebrate love. Love between lovers, love between friends, love between brothers, and brothers in arms, and family. So…Here’s what I propose. We all write down one sexual fantasy that we can make happen tonight. Don’t put your name on it. If more than four of us can guess who it is, we’ll make it come true—if everyone consents.”
At first there were some uneasy glances, but then smiles broke through, and eyes started lighting up.
“Oh, this is gonna be fucking awesome,” Brad sighed.
“Yeah, like yours is gonna be hard to guess,” Charlie teased him.
“No spoilers, people. We’ll play this fair.” Indy handed out white index cards he’d found in Noah’s office drawer. “Use capital letters so I won’t recognize the handwriting, start your wish with ‘I want’, and speak of yourself in the third person so you don’t give too much away. I’ll read all of them in random order, assign them a number. You all get a sheet of paper and when I read a request, write down who you think wrote it. We’ll add the score at the end.”
Minutes later, Indy had seven index cards in his hands. Oh, this was gonna be an epic night. “Okay, here we go. Write the number and the name of the person who you think wrote this.” His eyes teared up as he read the first one. “Number one: I want everyone to either fuck Brad, or come all over him, in a group session.”
Everyone started writing, with the exception of Brad, whose mouth dropped slightly open. Interesting, Indy thought. That meant it wasn’t Brad. His money was on Charlie or Miles.
“Number two.” He giggled as he read it. Oh, God, that would be so much fun. “I want Noah and Connor to make out for five minutes, naked, with everyone watching.”
Noah and Connor looked at each other, then burst out laughing. “Someone’s got a kinky fantasy,” Connor said dryly.
“Number three,” Indy announced as everyone was done writing. He’d guessed Noah had put that in, just to piss Connor off. “I want everyone use their hands and mouths to make Indy come.” It was his own, but he tried to keep his reaction in.
“Indy would have to be okay with that,” Noah immediately said, giving away it wasn’t him. God, he loved him. His first reaction, as always, was to protect Indy.
“As I said, consent comes first. Number four: I want for Noah to fuck Brad.”
Interesting. It sounded like something Noah would want, but then who the fuck had put in the fantasy of Noah and Connor making out? It sure as hell wasn’t Connor. He wrote down Noah’s name, with a question mark.
“Damn, this is harder than I thought,” Charlie said.
“I know, right? Next one, number five: I want Connor to be Brad’s daddy for an entire day. The kinky daddy kind.”
Again, Brad’s surprised reaction made it clear that, too, had not come from him. It seemed multiple people had wanted something for Brad rather than for himself. It said so much about how they related to each other.
“Number six: I want us all to fuck Brad until he can’t walk anymore, or let him suck us off. You’re a popular fantasy, Brad,” he added with a smile. Brad rubbed his eyes, softly shaking his head.
“Last one: I want for all of us to help Miles to have so many orgasms he feels truly sated.” It made sense for that one to come from Miles himself, and yet he wasn’t the type to request something for himself. No, he’d first look out for Brad, Indy reasoned, so one of the Brad requests had got to come from him. Brad would either choose the daddy thing with Connor, but he, too, would first choose someone else. Miles, probably.
It took a few minutes for everyone to put a definitive name behind each of the requests. Indy kept closing out names, not sure if he’d gotten it right.
“Okay, let’s hear it. First one, who wanted for us all to fuck Brad or come all over him?”
Charlie raised his hand. “Me. Brad would fucking love it.”
Brad beamed. “Sure would. I knew that was you, by the way. I love you, baby.”
“Who else got it right?” Indy asked. Four more hands went up. “Brad, you got your wish…But there’s more coming for you, pun intended. Number two, a make out session between Noah and Connor.”
“That’s me,” Josh said, laughing. “Remember when Connor kissed Noah by accident after fucking Brad? Fuck, that was so hot, two of those alpha men attacking each other. I want more of that.”
Connor shot him an amused look. “Called it,” he said. “I debated cheating so I wouldn’t have to do it, but that didn’t seem fair.”
“Yup, called it, too,” Noah said. “Kinky little fucker.”
Indy counted hands, smiled. “Nice! One alpha make out session coming. Number three…Right, that’s mine.”
“Indy…” That was Noah, of course. “Babe, are you sure?”
Indy nodded. “Yeah. I want this, Noah. I’ve been scared for so long, and I want to share myself with all of you.” He swallowed. “Who got it right?”
Aside from his own hand, Miles, Josh, and Connor raised theirs. “Connor?” he asked, surprised.
“It had to be you. No one else here would request that unless they knew for a fact you’d do that. The only one who could have known was Josh, but I already had him for the make out between me and Noah. It had to be you yourself, Indy. Damn proud of you, kiddo.”
Indy smiled. “Thank you. I’m happ
y it’s gonna happen. Alright, next one. Noah wants to fuck Brad. Sorry, babe, I didn’t need you to confirm that was you.”
Brad looked up at Noah, his eyes wide. “Really?” he asked.
“Fuck, yes. After seeing Connor pound you, I want in, too. If Indy’s okay with it.”
“Hell, yeah, babe. As long as I can watch your gorgeous ass while you take him.”
“Done. Do we need to count hands?”
Every hand went up, except Brad’s. “Who did you think it was?” Indy asked him.
“I thought Josh, ‘cause he’d suggested Connor fuck me, too.”
That made sense, actually. It showed how hard it was for Brad to see people liked him, wanted him.
“Who wants Connor to be Brad’s daddy for the day? Very hot fantasy by the way. I do want to demand they do it all at home, in the open.”
Connor smiled. “Guilty. Can’t wait to boss that boy around for a day. There’s gonna be lots of spanking and discipline.”
Brad jumped off his chair, launched himself at Connor, who caught him with ease. Brad’s arms went tight around his neck. “Thank you. I’ll be good, I promise.”
Connor hugged him back, his face softening. “If you’re good, there won’t be a reason for me to spank you, now will there?”
“Good point. I’ll be on my brattiest behavior,” Brad decided.
Connor gave him a hard kiss, then put him back on his feet, sending him off with a resounding smack on his ass. “Soon, boy.”
“We have two left: fucking Brad till he can’t walk anymore and helping Miles feel sated for the first time in his life. The two people left are Brad and Miles themselves, so the question is if they are the kind of people who’d request something for themselves, or for someone else…”
No Shame: The Complete Series: Including exclusive bonus materials and deleted scenes Page 117