by Meg Ripley
“Don’t go telling the press yet. I need to inspect it myself first. I’ll be on the first flight out I can get.”
“I look forward to it. Thank you, Professor.”
I hung up and I threw myself into Sawyer’s arms. “A new species!” I danced in a little circle, my excitement overflowing. “Even if he’s not completely sure, the possibility of it!”
He hugged me hard and kissed me. “This is amazing. I’m so happy for you!”
“For us! This will be huge for the park!”
The memory that I’d have to leave behind my awesome discovery came back and I pushed it aside. I saw that I had another email from my professor.
“Madelyn, I’ve made a few calls and have several colleagues on their way over. Please give them access to the site and provide whatever information they need. We’ll need others to back up your findings, whatever it turns out to be. See you soon.”
I blew out a breath and checked the time. Rangers would be arriving to work soon, and the day was nearly underway. But we hadn’t slept at all.
“I’m fixin’ to make some coffee,” Sawyer said, reading my mind after he saw the email.
“Strong.”
“The only way.”
He left the room for a moment, and I was alone. I looked around the building: simple and plain, but the thought that I’d never be there again brought that ache back. What was I going to do?
Just one short hour later, Sawyer and I stood at the edge of the site, large coffees in hand, while the first of the paleontologists did his inspecting.
“This is a fabulous find,” he said. “Thank you for letting me see it.”
“Thank you for coming. We’re still trying to figure out what it is.”
“You won’t.” He gazed over the bones. “I think your professor is right. I’ve never seen this before, either.”
The excitement bubbled up in me. Behind us, Wyatt pulled up with a woman.
The second paleontologist was given the same run down and access as the first. When she’d finished her initial inspection, she walked over to us.
“I have to agree,” she said in awe. “I believe it’s new. This is a great day for paleontology.” She shook my hand. “You have a bright future in this field ahead of you,” she said. “I assume you’ll be staying in the park for a while?”
I gulped. “This being such a new discovery, I haven’t, um… I’m not sure what’s going to happen yet exactly. But obviously, I want to be here as much as possible while the final extraction is happening.”
“As the lead digger,” she added, “you’ll be in high demand. Make sure you get paid what you’re worth.”
I nodded and thanked her before she wandered off. I hadn’t thought about the job possibilities this could bring. Perhaps the fossil, once fully out of the ground and cleaned and readied to show, could be moved near New Hampshire. We had a very nice natural history museum that would love to host a discovery made by a local.
But I knew it was a long shot. Texans would fight hard to keep what was found in their park; I’d seen it happen before. Depending on how big of a deal this would be, the local museum might put up a huge display when the time came. But that wasn’t all.
Now that we all knew this site was prime for other fossils, people would be digging all over the place. With this discovery and the connections I had, I would have priority over anyone who wanted to dig there. And that was huge for a student like me. To have made this discovery before even graduating? It’d been exactly what Julian had wanted.
I audibly gasped as I realized I hadn’t even thought of Julian since finding the first bone. The guilt rushed over me, and I wondered when he would be found. I’d have to tell my professor something when he arrived.
But Sawyer, again reading my mind for the second time that day, came over to me when no one else was around and said, “I’m having Wyatt take care of the body now. He knows what went down. He’s handling the tapes, too.”
“Oh but—”
“Don’t worry. He’s going to fix it so that your discovery is still there.”
“Thank you. You must be dead tired.”
“I’m pretty tuckered out. You must be, too.”
“I am,” I admitted. “But my professor will be here soon.”
“More coffee it is, then.”
Minutes later, he returned with two fresh coffees and my professor. When he asked about Julian, I told him that I hadn’t heard from him all morning; that no, I hadn’t called him in all the commotion because everything had been a whirlwind.
Hours went by. I wasn’t sure what was happening with the body, but I was sure that I was about to go on national news covered in dirt, going on more than 24 hours since I’d last slept. I forced a smile at the reporter and nodded.
“It’s been very exciting. I worked all through the night; that’s why I look like this.” I laughed and the reporter offered me a sympathetic smile.
When my professor was interviewed and he boasted about me, my chest swelled with pride. Sawyer put an arm around me. “I already knew all that about you. How amazing you are.”
I hung my head. How could I be so conflicted when what I felt for him was, without a doubt, love? Could I really be so selfish as to leave and make us both miserable? It wasn’t just about me anymore. And now it was also about my career more than it had been.
I had a short time to make my decision. Wherever I took a job after graduation, as a result of this find, was where I’d want to stay for at least five years. Preferably forever. I’d liked the idea of deep roots. Like I had at home. Like Sawyer had there.
It was an impossible decision with far too much riding on it. In my exhaustion, I couldn’t think about it anymore. It hurt too much, and I was too fragile to handle it.
21
Sawyer
The week after the discovery had been a blur. Madelyn had been as busy as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest—well, we all were after the news broke. Visitors poured into the park now. Most of them had to do something with the dig, though plenty of tourists wanted to get a glimpse, too. I’d had to hire a new Ranger just to give dig tours.
But I’d barely seen Madelyn.
I sat at home, lonely and missing her one night. I hadn’t been out with her in more than a week, and I’d reckoned she was moving on, leaving me in the dust.
Someone knocked on my door. I wasn’t expecting anyone, but Elijah was one for stopping by on his way through on occasion. When I opened the door, I was surprised to see Madelyn with a six pack in her hands.
“Hi. I thought maybe we could use a night?” She held up the beer and I stepped aside to let her in.
“It’s great to see you.” I gave her a hug and wanted to kiss her, but I wasn’t sure if we were back there yet or not. I figured better to be safe and not.
She flopped down on my couch, and I cracked open two beers. I handed her one and she took a long pull.
“Nice choice.” I held back my laughter. It was about the cheapest, weakest beer around.
“It was all I could get, and besides, it’s alcohol. I was too tired to care if it sucks.”
I sat beside her. “How’s it been going?”
“Good. All these long days have just been so tiring. And the whole funeral for Julian thing? I’m just glad it’s over now.”
I nodded. It had been a tense few days after Julian was discovered, but Wyatt had made sure everything went according to plan. I shuddered, thinking if Julian had his way, that funeral would have been for Madelyn instead.
“I’m going to write an article about Rangers, how important they are and what they do. I don’t think people really get it.”
“That would be neat.”
“I could put you in it.”
“If it’ll help, sure.”
She let out a hard sigh. “Sawyer.” She sat up and turned to me. Tears sat low in her eyes. “I came to say goodbye.”
My heart stopped. No. Now? After all this? “What do you
mean?”
“My professor wants me to come work with him. He thinks there’s plenty of research to be done away from the site, so I don’t have to stay here.”
“But…” My head spun so fast, I couldn’t keep up. “You were supposed to be here for another two weeks.”
“I know, but since all this happened, it’s kind of thrown everything off.”
“What about your thesis?”
She sighed again. “I’m starting over because after finding a new species, I decided to change the topic. I don’t have to worry about the scholarship now. I’ve had several offers for funding and to get a higher degree as well.”
“Sounds like you have everything figured out.”
“It took me a while, but I finally came to my decision. It doesn’t make it any easier, though.”
“No.” I felt shaky inside, like the walls around me were tumbling, and I had to hold them up with my own weight. But I was losing strength.
“You’ll have a part in my thesis, if you want. I’d like to interview you and get your take on things, if that’s something you’d be up for.”
I took a long time to answer. “I don’t want to be in your paper, Maddy.”
“Oh. Well, you don’t have—”
“I want to be in your life. Forever. I was going to tell you that my boss wants to hire you as a permanent fixture to our staff. You’d have full access to dig in the park wherever you’d like, and you’d be overseeing all the dig sites in the entire park. It’s a huge job. And he wants to pay you even more than he pays me, so…”
She looked up at me, the clarity there a moment ago gone, replaced with despair and confusion. “I can’t keep changing my mind; it’s killing me. I’ve made my decision: I have to go. I’m getting on a plane in”—she checked her watch—“fourteen hours.”
With her standing right there beside me as I sat on the couch, the positioning of it brought an idea to my mind. I slid off the edge and knelt in front of her, taking both her hands in mind.
“Madelyn, I love you desperately. I need you in my life. Don’t leave. Stay here forever. Be my wife. Marry me. Start a life with me here.”
She shook her head and tears rans down her cheeks. “I… I can’t. I’m sorry.”
She grabbed her purse and bolted for the door. I heard it close behind her and moved back to the couch, numb with shock.
She’d said no. And the next day, she’d be gone.
It was really over.
22
Madelyn
I drove away from Sawyer’s with tears streaming in a steady flow. I had to pull over and sob for a while before I could continue. I made my decision, I reminded myself. This is the right thing to do, no matter how much it hurts.
I reached for my phone and called Leigh.
“Hello?” she said groggily. I’d probably woken her up.
I tried to talk, but couldn’t keep the sob from escaping my throat.
“What’s wrong?” Her tired voice suddenly sounded more awake.
“He… Proposed!”
“Oh my goodness! Congratulations! Ahhh!”
“Leigh.”
The tone of my voice made her stop celebrating. “By god, Maddy, if you tell me you said no, I will get on a plane and come there and slap you upside the head.”
“Well you’d better buy that ticket.”
She groaned so loudly I had to hold the phone away from my ear.
“I have this whole thing set up with my professor.”
“And we both know that’s you settling. This is stupid! You can’t make a plan and stick to it no matter what changes along the way. You always do this. Remember how you almost didn’t go to Harvard because your plan your whole life had been Yale?”
“But—”
“No. Stop this. Turn around and go back to that man and marry him. Have ten of his babies. Live a happy life in Texas. You just launched a huge career there. This is your dream come true in every possible way. You got the dream career and the dream man. Why the hell would you consider walking away from all that? You’ll hate yourself forever if you leave him. Every time you make one of these decisions against your heart, it goes terribly.”
“Well, you’re no help!”
I hung up on her, shaking with anger. I needed her to side with me; to tell me I made the right decision. I’d taken all week to make it. I thought I had considered every side fully.
I heard a text alert and glanced at my phone, shocked that a text actually came through.
Also, Nick’s work has a headquarters there. They’ve been trying to get him to move to Texas for years. Not exactly Big Bend, but only about an hour or so away. So marry your dreamboat and I’ll tell Nick to take the next opening he gets.
I reread her message many times. Well, okay. It wouldn’t be my whole family, but it was something. Maybe I could do it. If we were both there, maybe my parents would move after they retire.
Then it hit me. She’d given me the permission I needed to follow my heart.
And it was what I wanted more than anything.
I turned around and sped back to Sawyer’s house. When I got there, I jumped out of the car and ran to the door, pounding furiously until it opened.
I threw myself into Sawyer’s arms. “Yes, yes, yes! I’m so sorry. Yes!”
His eyes grew wide as he picked me up by the waist and spun me around before wrapping me in a giant bear hug.
“I love you,” I whispered in his ear.
He let go of me and took a step back, the happiness vanishing from his gaze. “Wait a minute. I can’t do this.”
“What do you mean?”
“You just walked out on me. You said ‘I can’t’ when I asked you to marry me. Now you’re going to just come back and say nevermind?” He shook his head. “You can’t keep hurting me like this.”
“I’m sorry. I never meant to. I… I’m sorry. I do love you. I want to be with you. I want to live here.”
“Oh no.” He shook his head again. “You definitely don’t. I’m not going to be responsible for talking you into staying and then facing the consequences later when you regret it. You can’t even hold your decision for more than an hour. How do I know you won’t leave me before we say, ‘I do’?”
I didn’t know what to say. I assumed he’d be thrilled. My mouth hung open. “I…”
He stood back a few feet, watching me.
“I have to confess something,” I said. “From the first day I met you, I felt this strange attraction to you. Like some kind of magnet puling us together. I ignored it. I tried not to feel it, so I decided against it. But you can only go against your heart for so long. Leigh is right. Every time I stick to my goals and timeline and don’t listen to my heart, it’s a mistake. And this time, my heart is louder than ever. I think…”
“We’re fated,” he finished.
“Yes. You feel it, too?”
“I’ve never tried not to.”
“I’ve made a huge mess of all this. And yes, I have changed my mind, but Sawyer, please know that from day one, you’ve been my heart’s decision. I never felt anything other than love and desire for you. I know it took me a while to see that, but I see it now. It doesn’t matter if my whole family is back home or if anyone moves down here or not. I have to be here because you’re here. And now, my perfect job could be here, too. Leigh said I was settling, and she’s right. Going home means giving up my dreams just for the sake of being close to home.”
“And now? You won’t be any closer to them.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’ll just have to make your family my family.”
Hope flickered in his eyes. “Madelyn, are you sure because I don’t want to spend my life wondering if you’re happy here in Texas.”
“This is the decision I should have made months ago. I’ve tried to go against it, and that’s where I’ve failed. I can’t choose anything other than you. When I tried, everything in me fought against it. I can’t live without you. I wasn’t even able to ge
t close to leaving you.”
He stepped closer. “You’re sure?”
“Surer than I’ve ever been about anything.”
He pulled me into his arms again and kissed me softly. “You want to marry me?”
“Yes,” I said firmly.
“And live here in Big Bend?”
“Yes.”
“And you’ll work in the park? With me?”
“Yes!”
He kissed me again, much more passionately this time. It didn’t take long for us to heat up; we hadn’t been together in weeks, and both of our bodies screamed for each other. I tore his shirt from his body and he had mine off before his even hit the floor. I hurried to get my jeans off and he did the same. Lifting me, he wrapped my legs around him and carried me to the bedroom. But instead of lying me down on the bed, he closed the door and pressed my back to the wall.
His kisses fell all over me: my lips, my neck, my breasts. But I wanted more of him; I wanted him inside me. I wiggled against the wall, trying to get my panties off, but he didn’t have the patience for that; he just pushed them to the side. His hard cock was ready for me, standing at attention through the hole in his boxers, and he nibbled at my neck as he plunged into me.
I cried out in sheer ecstasy. This position let me tangle my fingers in his hair and appreciate the muscular form of his backside. Grabbing his ass, I pulled him into me as he thrust, sending him deeper and deeper.
My head swam with the sensation. He moved so fast and so hard that it was only minutes until we both came.
“Sawyer!” I moaned as the flood rushed over me.
He made a groan that turned into a half roar as he reached his peak, grasping my curves firmly with his fingers.
“I love that growl,” I breathed.
He carried me over to the bed where he laid me down and lay beside me.
“I needed that,” I said, still breathing hard.
“Me, too.” But he lay on his side, looking at me.
“What is it?” I asked.
“I’m afraid you’re going to disappear on me.”
“Sawyer, I said—”