by Jeff Tippett
Maybe it’s because I come from a rural community, but at the end of that afternoon, my connection was more than a desire to help change their situations; I felt their pain. Their suffering, concerns, anxiety became mine.
And that was my connection. Listening to their stories opened my eyes to empathy. And though we were in different places in life and viewpoints, we connected.
4. Storytelling
One of my favorite and most productive ways to persuade is by telling stories. I would venture to say that storytelling is the quickest way for me to connect with my audience. I can make an emotional connection rather quickly as I share my perspective through a story. And I’m more likely to persuade if I’ve connected.
Often when we’re constructing our argument for persuasion, we structure in cause and effect. That’s how people naturally think. In its simplest form, a story is that connection between cause and effect. In other words, this happened, and here is the result.
Why does this work so well for me? I think it’s because stories well-told don’t actually tell—they show. So, often when we are trying to persuade others, we fall into the trap of just telling people what we want them to do. Often, there’s a natural pushback from our audience. Storytelling removes the “telling” part and “shows” your audience. And people generally prefer you show and not just tell them.
I think the most compelling and connecting stories are those we share of our own mistakes and failures. If you can be honest about your own shortcomings, you’ll become more relatable to your audience. Let’s face it: We’ve all screwed up. As you share your own story, your audience will connect with your perceived failure, helping you persuade them to your perspective. Dale Carnegie says, “Speakers who talk about what life has taught them never fail to keep the attention of their listeners.”
Just this past week, I opened a keynote speech with a personal story. I felt alive, passionate, and excited to speak; but more importantly, I was aware that people were fully engaged. I had their attention; they anxiously awaited the unfolding of my story. They smiled. They laughed. And although I knew almost no one in the room, I connected in a meaningful way.
Like humor, I think storytelling transcends the present. Your audience can experience journeys and emotions, all while remaining firmly in their seats. Told well, a story can captivate and help transform thinking. It’s a very non-threatening way to share a viewpoint.
A few tips on telling stories:
Your story should have at least one moment of truth. This is sometimes referred to as the “aha” moment.
Sometimes in advocacy campaigns, proponents will share stories to help the audience gain an emotional connection to the cause. If this is your intent, one piece of advice: Make sure you tell the story of a single person, not a group. And it’s even more effective when you can share at least the first name of the person.
Make sure your story has a clear meaning. We’ve probably all heard stories, only to reach the end, questioning what the purpose of the story was.
Keep the storyline moving at a rapid pace. One way to do this is to remove any and all unnecessary aspects. If it isn’t necessary to the message, toss it. If bombarded with unnecessary information, not only will your audience grow bored and/or distracted, they may well have a difficult time understanding your intent.
Use simple, heartfelt words, not overly complicated ones.
5. Authenticity
When working with the millennial generation, I’ll argue that authenticity isn’t an option, it’s required. In general, millennials demand what is real and true and reject the fake. And regardless of the age of your audience, there are few things that will move them more quickly than opening your heart to show you care.
A quick caution: If you’re trying to be authentic, stop. People can see through the attempts. Authenticity is about being, not trying.
I fully understand people being afraid to be open and real. For years, that was my life. I felt like if I allowed people to see who I really was, I would be rejected. But what I discovered was the opposite: opening up and being transparent deeply connected me.
Here are a few things to consider in striving for authenticity:
Ask questions
I’ve heard people ask questions to show they care. But I think I’d flip that around. I think if you care, you’ll naturally ask questions without being prompted to do so. And if you search deep inside and don’t care, that’s an entirely different discussion.
Accept that you make mistakes
You’re human, and you’re not perfect. I can’t even begin to count how much time I spent in therapy to accept this fact. I was raised in a home that expected perfection, and perfection all the time. Toss in a heavy dose of being constantly reminded that what people think of me is paramount, and you can see the recipe for disaster. Try accepting that you’re human. You will make mistakes, and most likely people around you won’t judge you for simple mistakes.
Be present
Everyone seems to be saying, “Be present” these days. But I’m going to say it anyway. Be present. People know if you’re not in the moment with them. They won’t connect if they don’t feel you’re right there with them.
And at the risk of being that “get-off-of-my-lawn” crank, let me add that constantly being on your device when you’re with others definitely doesn’t reinforce that you’re present. Try putting it down and giving that person your full attention.
Another industry expert’s perspective:
Whether speaking to an audience of one or one thousand, we must set ego aside and recognize what is important to the other person. This conversation took place over twenty years ago but remains a constant reminder of that point.
I’ll never forget visiting with my hospice patient, Ned Johnson. We had a wonderful connection, and I knew that he valued my visits as a chaplain.
One day, I said, “Ned, you’ve got a special glow about you today.”
He grinned. “Yeah, I do.”
I asked what was going on.
“Oh, man,” he said, “I had the best visit yesterday.”
Well, that took me down a peg. I hadn’t been to see Ned the day before, so I knew his great visit wasn’t with me! I thought, “Okay, maybe the nurse or the social worker had come.”
Mustering up cheerfulness, I asked, “Who was here, Ned?”
“My volunteer.”
Wow! Ned just knocked out the whole clinical staff. Now the volunteer is his favorite!
Okay. It was time to swallow my pride and learn what deep topic had been covered since Ned and I still had a few more big conversations to go. “Well, Ned, what did you talk about?”
“Talk? We didn’t talk about anything. We watched a football game!”
Carlos, Ned’s quiet, big-hearted volunteer, showed his caring through actions rather than words. For one afternoon, he gave Ned the chance to do what he craved: to be normal and watch football with another guy.
That was the best connection.
Becky Sansbury
BeckySansbury.com
Ready for the next step? Let’s talk about how to position your message.
Questions for Reflection
How does making a connection help you persuade?
How do you know if you’ve made a connection?
Of the techniques listed, do you naturally gravitate toward one device more than others? If so, how and why?
What’s the correlation between helping others find their win and making a connection?
Have you ever sensed someone was manipulating a connection with you? How did you know? How did that feel?
Before we look at some strategies to help you position your message for a favorable response, I encourage you to first look inside yourself.
How do you approach asking? Are you an asker or a guesser?
Let’s talk about both.
Some people are fine with asking questions without regard for the outcome. In oth
er words, they’re fine with asking anything at all and are readily willing to accept no.
Other people fall into the guesser category. Those in this category avoid making “the ask” without being pretty certain the answer will be yes. People in this category will often put out feelers to better predict the outcome. These people often ease into the ask, or don’t even have to make it at all. By edging closer and closer to the desired outcome, their audience will often be persuaded through this strategic, indirect approach to persuading.
Have you ever asked someone to marry you? If so, what was your approach? This answer is a huge indicator of your style. For me, when I proposed, I was a guesser. I put out multiple feelers. I tested the water. And, in fact, we ended up planning a wedding without the traditional proposal. And that path worked for us.
Understanding your style will help you best prepare for your “ask.” Like my wedding proposal (or lack thereof), you may end up getting your “yes” without ever asking! Or if you are an “asker,” I suggest you make overly certain you’ve taken all necessary steps before you officially make the “ask.”
Now that you better understand how you ask questions, it’s time to think through your strategy of positioning your message. Let’s explore three ways of positioning:
1. Loss Aversion vs. Prospect Theory
Loss aversion is the theory that contends people prefer to avoid losses more than they do making gains.
When positioning your ask, you should consider an approach that suggests what your user will lose instead of what they will gain.
For example, if you put a time limit on a special discount, messaging about losing this discount will most likely catch your users attention and prompt them to act. Or if you message that they will lose access to something, you can also likely prompt users to decide in your favor.
2. Emotion vs. Logic (fear, hate, anger )
“People don’t buy for logical reasons.
They buy for emotional reasons.”
—Zig Ziglar—
Those of us who process information in a more logical manner often likewise frame our asks logically. And while, for some, that will work, in general, people will tend to gravitate to their emotions in decision-making.
Though it admittedly sounds bad, people will often take action based on fear quicker than any other emotion.
We feel before we think.
What happens when you intersect loss aversion with fear? You get a powerful tool to persuade. Consider the 2016 U.S. presidential election.
One of the most powerful ads of that political cycle was one produced by the National Rifle Association. This ad was intended to make people fearful of Hillary Clinton, alleging she would take away their guns.
The ad was a $5M buy, the NRA’s largest of that cycle. That tells you they were banking on the success of combining loss aversion with fear.
In the 30-second ad, a woman is awakened from her sleep by the sound of glass breaking, and immediately calls 911.
The voiceover states: “She’ll call 911. Average response time: 11 minutes. Too late.”
Realizing she’s in danger, with no help coming, she reaches for the safe, enters the code, and reaches to remove a handgun. But, all of a sudden, the safe and the gun vanish.
The voiceover continues: “She keeps a firearm in this safe for protection. But Hillary Clinton could take away her right to self-defense. And with Supreme Court justices, Hillary can.”
With a cut then to the home wrapped in crime scene tape and blue lights piercing the night, the narrator concludes: “Don’t let Hillary leave you protected with nothing but a phone.”
Why was this commercial so effective and worthy of the largest ad buy for the National Rifle Association for that cycle?
Fear. And it worked.
3. Binary vs. non-binary options
Sometimes, we think our ask has to be black and white, yes or no. So, in response, we structure our ask as an all-or-nothing deal. But does it have to be? Or are there multiple potential options that might work? This is your opportunity to be creative; find a way that everyone wins. Expand your own thinking, as to the possibilities.
And while I will agree that often times the decision is a yes or no, I don’t think it always has to be the case, nor should it. If you understand what you want and what your user wants, can’t you find a way that both of you can walk away happy?
On a public affairs campaign I ran, the bill had to be approached in a creative manner. Had we positioned this bill to be a yes or no, it would likely have failed. There were areas of the state that would never be in favor, and so their legislators would have voted against it. And there were areas of the state that were begging for the bill’s success. So, the bill’s sponsors decided to make the adoption within municipalities opt in instead of automatic. That way, legislators representing districts that would not be in favor could vote yes without impacting their own districts. The result? The bill became law. And with very little pushback.
If you’re making a binary ask, it’s important not to back your audience into a corner too soon because it’s really hard to move them out once you’ve boxed them in. Give them lots of flexibility to move and change their viewpoint.
You see, sometimes, we push people to make a decision way too soon. I suggest you give time to receive and process information. Early on, it’s fine to test the waters or see what they are thinking. In fact, it can be very helpful to provide additional, clarifying information as needed. Sharing information in this manner can greatly increase your chances of persuading. However, if you push for an answer too soon, you might get an answer you don’t want. And it’s a lot harder to move someone once a decision has been made. So make it easier on yourself and postpone the ask.
Ready for the next step? Let’s talk about how to craft your call to action.
Questions for Reflection
What does positioning your message mean to you?
Are you more of an asker or a guesser?
Why do you think emotion outperforms logic?
Are there ways to use emotion and logic? If so, what are they?
Which best motivates you, loss aversion or prospect theory? Why?
With your message crafted and positioned, it’s time to make the ask. Up to this point, you’ve crafted your message, you’ve thought through how you can help them win, you’ve sought out a connection, and you’ve positioned your ask in the best manner. So, it’s time for the next step. It’s time to create your call to action.
So what exactly is a call to action?
According to Dictionary.com, a call to action is “an exhortation or stimulus to do something in order to achieve an aim or deal with a problem.” As in, “He ended his speech with a call to action.”
In a marketing context, according to Merriam-Webster, this means “a piece of content intended to induce a viewer, reader, or listener to perform a specific act, typically taking the form of an instruction or directive (e.g. buy now or click here).” Fundamental to the call to action is recognizing that you’re asking someone to do something. The primary questions to think through are: “When do you want them to do it?” “Why should they do it?” and “Why is it to their benefit to do it?”
If you’ve successfully reached this point of the ask, you should already fully understand the “why.” In making that ask, be certain that your why focuses on what problem you intend to solve. People are most likely to say yes when you’re offering to solve a real problem they face. And they’ll often pay a premium price for you to do it.
But you must make certain they understand the value you’re bringing to them.
It’s also important to maintain a consistent voice throughout the entire process.
And another thing—before the actual ask, there’s a very important question to answer: “Have you adequately addressed any concerns they may have?” That could look like any unresolved questions have been answered. You want to make sure the
audience has all questions answered and all concerns addressed. At this stage, there should be some type of relationship established. This relationship will help you ensure your audience is in the best place possible to make a decision.
Here are 13 tips to help you craft a call to action that your audience can’t resist:
1. Make your ask clear.
We’ve probably all been there: You meet with someone, you know they want something from you, but you leave unclear of the ask.
Your ask should tell them what to do, when to do it, and why they should do it.
2. Be sure to use a strong action verb.
3. Make it personal; use “you” and “your.”
We talked, in Chapter 6, about helping others find their win so that you win, also. In your call to action, you, once again, get to put this powerful tool to work. Using the pronouns “you” and “your” help your audience focus on why this matters to them. Remember, they’re asking—whether explicitly or implicitly—“What’s in it for me?”
And try to stay away from nouns and/or pronouns that talk about you and what you want (“me” and “my”).
4. Communicate value
What is the value your proposition brings to your audience? Again, how does it fit into one of the health, wealth, or relationship buckets? And keep in mind the value will be different for different audiences. What is your audience’s need?
Use this to craft a clear value proposition.
5. Be clever
People often become tense about making decisions. Finding a clever approach can help break this stiffness. It also makes your pitch unique, distinctive.
6. Express emotion
We talked about emotion earlier in our messaging. It’s time to dust that back off.