by Ash, Nikki
Hunter… And then it hits me. The kid whose father forgot to pick him up. Motherfucker. Of course it would be Richie—and no, I’m not calling him Richard. That’s dumb and he’s a dumbass for trying to change his name.
“I know Hunter,” I tell her. “I’m helping out at the camp this summer.”
Her eyes go wide. “I had a feeling you were. I saw that you retired, and when Bridget mentioned a retired player from the Reds was helping out, I thought about you. I should’ve put two and two together.”
“Is that the only time you’ve thought about me?”
She doesn’t answer right away, but the heat creeping up her neck gives me my answer. She has.
Still, I need her to say the words. “Harper,” I prompt. “Have you thought about me? Because I’ve thought about you almost every goddamn day,” I admit, putting it all on the table, because fuck it. She’s single. I’m single. And it’s got to be fucking fate that has us sitting across from each other on a blind date.
“Every day,” she admits softly. She reaches for her glass of wine and takes a sip. When she goes to set it down, she’s not paying attention and the bottom of the glass lands on part of her fork. The glass almost falls over, but I catch it before it can—only a small amount sloshing out.
“I’m such a freaking mess,” she says, completely exasperated. She glances up at me and her beautiful lips are turned down in the saddest frown. Her eyes are glossed over, and she looks as if she’s about to cry.
Moving closer, I reach over and cup the side of her face, wiping the single tear that’s escaped. “I’ve always loved how clumsy you are. When we were together it made me feel like a knight in shining armor when I would be the one to pick you up when you would fall.”
“Landon,” she breathes, her gorgeous green eyes meeting mine.
Running my thumb over her plump lip, I imagine what it would be like to kiss her. To taste the wine on her tongue. To get drunk off her scent alone. “I can’t believe it’s really you,” I murmur. “You’re here with me at dinner.”
Her tongue darts out and licks the pad of my thumb and the wall holding back my restraint crumbles. With my hand still pressed against her cheek, I gently touch my lips to hers. When she sighs against my mouth and her lips part, I deepen the kiss. She tastes just as I thought. Like her sweet wine. I consider pulling her into my lap, but then I remember we’re out in public and pull back.
“Are you guys ready to order?” the waitress asks, breaking us both out of our trance. Neither of us has even looked at the menu, and right now, the last thing I want is to sit here and eat. I want Harper all to myself.
“Can you give us a second, please?” I ask the waitress.
She nods and walks away.
“I never dreamed I’d have this chance again,” I tell Harper once the waitress is gone. “And I really don’t want to spend however much time I have with you in a crowded restaurant. What do you say we get out of here?”
Harper looks up at me through her thick lashes and nods once.
Standing, I reach into my pocket and pull a couple bills out of my wallet. The waitress, seeing me stand, comes over. “We’ve decided not to stay.” I hand her the money. It’s more than enough to cover what our meal, plus a tip, would’ve been had we stayed to eat. “For your inconvenience.”
“Thank you.”
Taking Harper by her hand, I lead us out of the restaurant. “I came in a cab,” I tell her. Any time there’s a chance I might be drinking, I always take public transportation.
“I have mine,” she says, handing her ticket to the valet, who runs off to grab her car.
While we wait for him to bring her car around, we’re both quiet. I have no clue what’s going through her head. I want to ask, but I’m afraid to spook her. It’s been over twelve damn years. While I was playing baseball, she was creating a family. Being a mother. A wife. There’s no way she’s the same woman I once knew—even if she still has the same gorgeous smile, smells like strawberries and vanilla, and is clumsy as hell.
Her expensive-looking SUV pulls up and I mentally laugh at how much time really has passed. The last time I saw her she was driving around in a beat-up shit-brown Corolla. Now she’s driving an Audi. It makes sense since she was married to a fucking surgeon.
I glance over at her, standing there twirling her hair around her finger just like she always used to do when she was nervous, and notice how refined she looks. I’ve hooked up with a lot of models and celebrities over the years, so I can recognize the name brands. Her purse has the SL logo, indicating it’s Saint Laurent. Her heels, which are a good four inches high and show off her sexy calves, have the signature red soles. She’s no longer the teenage girl in Chucks I fell in love with, but a grown-ass woman.
“Your place or mine?” she asks, and for a second, I wonder if maybe I’m making a mistake. We’re no longer the same people we once were. Time and situations have taken us in different directions. But then she says my name in the same voice she used to use when she was craving my touch, my attention, my affection, and every doubt I have flies right out the window. We might be older, but we’re still Harper and Landon.
“My place is a mess,” I admit. “I’ve been here for almost a month and haven’t even unpacked.”
“Then mine it is,” she says, throwing me the keys. “Be a gentleman and drive.”
Sixteen
Harper
The short fifteen-minute drive to my house is just enough time for my mind and heart to flit through every possible emotion I’m feeling about Landon being my blind date. But the one I keep coming back to the most is how much I’ve missed him. The way he laughs at my clumsiness and thinks it’s adorable instead of annoying. How he can touch me and set my entire body on fire. All these years without him and with one kiss, I’m itching to rip his clothes off and relearn every inch of his body.
He said he wanted to get out of there, but he didn’t say why. Maybe it’s just to talk and catch up. That would make sense… But then he also kissed me, so maybe he’s looking for more. If you had asked me if I ever imagined in a million years my date tonight would end with us having sex, I would’ve laughed in your face. But my date isn’t just any date. It’s Landon Maxwell. The one and only man I’ve ever truly loved. The man I handed my heart to and never took it back, even when I was breaking both our hearts the day I told him we could never be together again.
Do I believe us hooking up will lead to something more? No. I’m a thirty-year-old woman. I know how this works. I know how men like Landon work. I might be inexperienced, but I’m not dumb. He’s no longer the sweet eighteen-year-old boy I once knew. He’s lived a life similar to the rich and famous. I’ve seen the images of the Victoria’s Secret models on his arm. Of the gorgeous movie stars he’s attended award shows with. I saw the beautiful women who approached him at our table tonight, wanting to take a picture with him. Landon didn’t just play baseball. He was named MVP several years in a row. He was listed as one the highest paid athletes. He won a freaking World Series.
But to me, he’s just Landon. The boy I loved and lost. And that’s where the dilemma lies. Can I be with Landon the same way he’s been with all those other women—with no strings attached? The answer is no. Because I never stopped loving Landon. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to miss out on having him in my bed because I’m afraid of my heart being broken beyond repair. I’m the reason we broke up. I messed up, not him. For years, I dreamed about what it would be like to be with him again. For him to make love to me. To be held again by his strong, comforting arms.
Every day I put my kids first. What do they need and want? What will make them feel happy and loved and secure? But for the first time in my adult life, I’m not thinking about anyone but myself. What do I want? What do I need? What will make me happy? And with every question I ask, the answer is the same: Landon. Landon. Landon.
And that tells me all I need to know. I want him, and if he feels the same way, I’ll enjoy tonight
for what it is: a chance to be with the man I’ve never stopped thinking about one last time. Maybe it will lead to something more, or maybe it won’t. Either way, I’m going to enjoy wherever the night leads.
We pull into my driveway and Landon turns the vehicle off. We get out and walk silently up to my front door. Taking the keys from him, I unlock my door and push it open so he can walk through. The door has just clicked shut when Landon is on me. His hands grip my butt cheeks and he lifts me against the hard wood of the door. “I’ve thought about this almost every day since the last time I had you in my bed. Tell me you want this.” His eyes lock with mine. “Tell me you want me.”
“I want this. I want you,” I tell him in a steady voice so he knows I mean it. His eyes flit between mine, searching, thinking, contemplating. He must see whatever it is he’s looking for, because without another word, his skilled mouth devours mine, taking my breath away. His tongue finds mine, and our kiss deepens. Tasting, stroking, coaxing. I can’t remember the last time I was kissed this passionately.
And then we’re moving. He drops me onto the couch and we both tear off our own clothes until Landon is in only his briefs and I’m in my bra and panties—thankful I did my laundry and am in a matching set. It’s only plain black, but at least there’s a bit of lace around the edges.
As Landon lifts my butt and hooks his fingers around the sides of my thong, I take a moment to admire him. More intricate tattoos don his chest, which looks to be carved out of stone. His abs are defined—all six of them. And as he pulls my panties down my thighs, the corded muscles in his arms flex. He has a beautiful golden tan from years of playing baseball outdoors. One thing is for sure… time has been damn good to Landon.
“I’ve missed this perfect pussy,” he murmurs, snapping me out of my lust-filled thoughts. He spreads my legs and kisses the neatly trimmed top of my mound.
I consider making a joke, that after pushing two kids the size of melons out of me, my pussy may not be as perfect as he remembers, but the words are lost in my throat as he dips down between my legs, spreads my pussy lips, and runs his hot, wet tongue straight up my center. My body, not having been touched like this in years, lights up like a Christmas tree. He licks me a few more times and then gives my clit his attention. Alternating between licking and biting, he works me up until a body-shattering orgasm rips through me, leaving me feeling more satiated than I’ve ever felt in my life.
“Holy shit,” he murmurs, glancing up at me. His lips are glistening from my juices, and I want to pull him toward me so I can taste myself on him. “I think you just came in like thirty seconds.” He hits me with a cocky smirk that if I wasn’t already panty-less, would have me dropping them.
“It’s been a while.” I sit up, and hooking my fingers around Landon’s neck, pull him down so he’s on top of me. Our mouths connect and I exhale a soft moan when I taste myself on him. It’s not sweet, but it turns me on to know it’s me on his lips.
Without breaking our kiss, Landon reaches behind me and unclasps the back of my bra—it falls loose between us. His mouth leaves mine and his lips trail kisses along my jawline, over my collarbone, and down to my breast. After pushing the bra out of the way with his nose, his tongue darts out and licks my taut nipple. He sucks it into his mouth, and my back arches at his touch. When we were younger, Landon knew how to work my body, but we were both young and inexperienced. Now, he’s older and it’s obvious he knows his way around a woman’s body. And while I have no desire to know how many women he’s been with, I’m more than happy to benefit from his experience.
“Hold on,” he demands. I clasp my hands around his neck, and then he picks me up. My legs hook around his waist as he stands. “Which way?”
“Umm… to my room?”
“Does it have a bed where I can splay you out on your back and sink balls deep into you?” His lips twist in amusement.
“Yes, a big fluffy one,” I tell him through a smile. “It’s down the hall, to the right.” The kids’ rooms, their bathroom, and their playroom are upstairs, but the master bedroom and bathroom are downstairs, along with one more guest bedroom and bathroom I keep for when my mom visits.
As he carries me in the direction of my room, I map kisses all over his face—his stubbled cheeks, his chiseled jaw, the corner of his perfect mouth. I can’t believe he’s here, in my house, with me. His hard shaft rubs against the crack of my ass, and I groan, wanting him to hurry up so he can be inside me.
When we enter my room, it’s dark, so I flip on one of my lights. I might only have tonight with Landon, so I’m going to make sure I get to watch every moment we spend together.
He drops me on the center of the bed, but then stills. His gaze darts around my space, and then his eyes meet mine. His straight white teeth bite down on his bottom lip, and I wonder if maybe he’s changed his mind. My heart drops at the thought.
“Landon, what’s wrong?” I ask, lifting slightly and framing his face with my palms. “Talk to me.”
“I kind of wish we were at my place,” he says softly. “I know it’s irrational as fuck, but I hate knowing you’ve been here, in this room, in this fucking bed with another man.”
His eyes close, and he nuzzles his face into the crook of my neck. “It should’ve been us, Harp,” he says softly, cracking my heart wide-open.
“I’ve never been in this bed or this room with anyone,” I admit. His head pops up, a look of surprise in his eyes. “I got the house in the divorce and sold it. It was too big and I couldn’t afford it. When I moved in here, I bought new furniture, including a new bed. A fresh start.”
Landon’s eyes hood over with lust. “I need to be in you right now,” he growls. “Are you on birth control?”
I’m not even done nodding before he’s sliding home inside of me. Filling me completely. Our bodies are connected in the most intimate way, and if it were up to me, we would stay like this for the rest of our lives.
As Landon thrusts in and out of me, I hold him close, my fingers threading through his messy hair. His arms are caging me in on either side of my head, and it feels as though we’re one—one body, one heart, one soul. Connected.
He trails kisses all over my face and along my throat, and then his lips descend on mine, our tongues hungrily meeting. I writhe against him as my climax builds. My back arches slightly and my hips meet him thrust for thrust. It’s never felt like this before. Even when we were younger. We were fumbling teenagers, learning what our bodies were capable of. It was young love and lust. We didn’t know what we were doing. We were just letting our hearts and hormones guide us.
As waves of pleasure roll through me, I call out Landon’s name, thinking about how different it feels now. The way our bodies are reconnecting. Our hearts beating in sync. We’ve both lived and experienced different lives, but here we are, years later, back in each other’s arms, as if no time has even passed.
Landon stills and looks into my eyes for a brief moment before he leans down and licks my cheek. I’m confused as to what he’s doing, until I feel the liquid emotion leaking from my lids.
“Don’t cry, baby,” he murmurs. Pulling out of me, he rolls to his side and pulls me with him. “What’s the matter?”
“These aren’t sad tears,” I admit, feeling a bit embarrassed. “I’m just… I’m just really happy right now.” I choke out a laugh that’s mixed with a sob, and Landon laughs. I love the way the corners of his eyes crinkle when he laughs.
“Good,” he says, just as my stomach grumbles. His lips curve into a slight frown. “I need to feed you.”
“I’m okay,” I tell him, even though I really am starving.
“Do you forget that I know you?” Landon questions, lifting me off him so he can stand. “You can outeat most grown men.”
“You make me sound like a heifer.” I huff, half in annoyance and half-jokingly.
Landon chuckles. “I happen to like my woman with a hearty appetite and meat on her body.” He heads to my bathroom and I fo
llow so I can clean up.
“Really? Is that why you’re always seen with those super skinny models and actresses?” I regret my accusation the second it leaves my mouth, but it’s too late now to take it back.
Landon stops in the middle of the bathroom and cups my cheek. “None of those women were my woman. They were dates, escorts so to speak,” he says, his tone serious. “None of them meant anything to me.”
I swallow down the lump in my throat.
“Only you did,” he says softly. “Only you do.”
Seventeen
Landon
Being with Harper surpassed any and all expectations, dreams, or fantasies I’ve had over the years. The moment our eyes locked at the restaurant, it was as if only the two of us were in the room. And when we got back to her place, while our bodies were tangled up in one another, it was as if time stood still for us. But the moment it ended, I knew the world consisting of only the two of us was an illusion. And to support that it was just an illusion is the picture sitting on her dresser of her family.
The frame is bright pink with the words “Happy Mommy’s Day!” written across the top. There are a bunch of heart stickers stuck all over the outer rim, and in the middle are four smiling faces. Richie looks the same, just a bit more cleaned up. His hair is short, and he’s wearing a suit. His arm is around Harper, who has her hands on each of their children’s shoulders. Their children… Fuck, she has children. They have children. The boy I recognize as a younger Hunter. He’s wearing a Boston Reds baseball cap on his head with a matching jersey. The little girl is a few years younger and looks like a mini version of Harper. I imagine if I were to see pictures of Harper as a child that’s exactly how she would look.
“Ella gave it to me for Mother’s Day,” Harper says, stepping behind me and snaking her arms around my torso. Her face peeks out from under my arm, and lifting my own, I wrap my arm around her back.