“We did.”
“Took you long enough.”
“Yes, it did.”
“Talk to the other families?”
“We did.”
“That’s good.”
“It is good that they have the finality. Wondering is a hard thing. Son, it would help them out if they knew what happened.”
Silence.
Decker spoke softly. “Bennett, it’s time.”
“Yeah.” Tears rolled down his cheeks. “I suppose you’re right.”
CHAPTER 25
IT WASN’T THE heat or the humidity. It wasn’t the hoarding and the piles of clothing and trash and mounds of papers stacked precariously. It was the smell—the stink of decay, piss, and rotted food with a topper of must and mold. There was no running water, as evidenced by a tub of brown liquid—dubiously suitable for cleaning, let alone drinking. Scattered with the trash were empty plastic water bottles. Some had been cut in half and were used for growing greens.
Furniture included a beaten-up love seat, a small round table with a chair, and a mattress on the floor topped with torn blankets. The kitchenette had a sink piled with dishes and a small refrigerator that must have run on a battery-operated generator. Decker heard a background hum. On the opposite side of the trailer was a closed door in the back. He assumed it was the bathroom with a chemical toilet.
Harriet had already pulled out cleaning supplies and a six-pack of paper towels from a cabinet. Bennett said, “I would have cleaned the place if I knew you were coming.” He sounded defensive.
“It’s fine, dear.” She started on the dishes, using bottled water and soap.
Decker had his eyes glued on Bennett. He held his hand over his own firearm. “Where are your guns?”
“Cabinet over the sink.”
Bennett rolled up his sleeves and began to scratch his arms. Scabs all over. Decker said, “I’m going to look in the cabinet. I need to do that.”
“Yeah, I get it.”
Decker locked eyes with McAdams. “Watch him.” To Bennett: “What kind of gear do you have?”
Bennett said, “A shotgun, a .38 revolver, a .22 revolver, a .357 Magnum, and two rifles.”
“Lot of firepower,” McAdams said.
“I hunt. We got wild turkeys and deer and small game. Different guns for different animals.”
Decker went over to the cabinet and took out the weapons, one by one, unloading them as he pulled them out. “I’m keeping the ammo.”
“I understand.” Bennett went over to a section of the living room and lifted a stack of white computer paper with handwriting on it. “This’ll tell you everything.”
“What is it?” McAdams asked.
“My memoirs. I have a great story to tell. Hollywood should snap it up. Black stars are hot.”
“And I will read every page of it.” Decker took the papers. Must have been over a thousand pages. “But for right now, I need a condensed version.”
“Sure, but you’ll be missing a lot of drama.”
“That’s why I’ll read it later.”
“I think you’ll appreciate … what happened that way.”
“I’m going to tape this interview.”
“Why?” Jumpy eyes.
“Because I forget things—”
“That’s why I gave you the memoirs.”
“Bennett, I need to tape the interview. It’s for your protection and for mine.”
“If you have to do it …” Eyes still restless.
“Thank you.” Decker turned on the app on his phone and pointed to the sofa. “I’m ready when you are.”
“You don’t want to sit?”
“No, I’d rather stand.”
“Why?”
Because I don’t trust you and your place is a friggin’ disaster. But Decker realized that his height was an impediment to rapport. “I have a bad back.” He pulled the chair from the table and leaned forward so as to lessen the impact of his six feet four inches. “Anytime you’re ready.”
Bennett pushed away papers from a sofa cushion and sat down. His eyes became faraway. “It was a long time ago.”
“I’m betting you still remember it in detail.”
“Wish that I didn’t, but I do.”
“Why don’t you start on that Thursday, when Zeke, Max, and you were preparing for your camping trip.”
“A camping trip that never ended for me.”
Harriet was banging around in the kitchen. Decker said, “Would you mind holding off, Harriet. I need to hear what he has to say. I don’t want to miss anything.”
She stopped and sighed. “I’ll clean the bathroom.”
“You don’t have to clean anything, Ma.”
“It’ll give me something to do.” Harriet closed her eyes. “I’ve heard the story before.”
The implication being too many times. Decker said, “Go on, Bennett. You have my attention.”
The man sat back and continued scratching his crusted arms. “It was Parents’ Weekend and we wanted out.”
“Who’s we?”
“You know. Zeke, Jack, and me, initially. Someplace not too close, someplace not too far. Something in driving distance. I suggested camping. The weather was nice.”
A pause.
“We wanted to try the mountain man thing. Zeke and I knew how to shoot, but neither of us had a gun. That’s where Max fit in. He had a gun. I used to borrow it whenever I went shooting at the college indoor range.”
“You invited him to come?”
“Yeah. We knew he’d say yes even though his parents wanted to see him that weekend. He didn’t have a lot of friends. Not that we were really friends.” He breathed in, then breathed out. “I told him we were dividing up the labor. I was going to take care of the food. Jack would be in charge of finding the perfect spot: he was a hiker. Zeke would provide us with the car, and he’d pay the gas. I told Max that he was in charge of the equipment, including the gun. He had no idea what kind of gear to buy, so I gave him a list.”
“That’s a lot of outlay,” McAdams said.
“Yeah, I told him to keep the receipts and we’d divide up the cost afterward. We did that a lot with Max.” A breath and more scratching of his arms. “Course he agreed. Then Jack crapped out. His parents were coming in. He was pissed.” Bennett paused. “Guess he was the lucky one.”
Decker nodded, encouraged him to continue.
“Anyway, the three of us met up Thursday afternoon before the weekend events started.” Another faraway look. “Max did his job, including the gun. I got the food. At three in the afternoon we were packing Zeke’s car. We figured we’d find a good spot once we were in the hills.”
“Did you take a tent?”
“Yeah. A tent and three sleeping bags and backpacks with things like medicine and bug spray and shit like that.”
“That’s a lot of stuff crammed into a BMW.”
“Yeah, it was stuffed. We put the food in the trunk, and the gear was in the backseat with Max. We weren’t going too far.”
“How did you decide where to camp?” Decker asked.
“Just hiking around.” Bennett pointed to the papers. “It’s all in my memoirs.”
“And I will read it. But now we’ve got to talk. What attracted you to the spot?”
“It wasn’t too far from the public trail, and it was private enough where we could get high in peace.” A pause. “That’s wasn’t the only purpose … to get high. But without girls, you’ve gotta entertain yourself.”
Decker said, “Got it.”
McAdams said, “You all shared one tent?”
“We did.”
“You didn’t care about the lack of privacy?”
“You get high enough, you don’t care about anything.”
“Drugs or alcohol or both?” Decker asked.
“Does it make a difference?”
“I don’t know. Does it?”
Bennett sighed. “Zeke and I brought some vodka, tequila, and beer. Max bro
ught the weed and the pills and cocaine and acid. Another reason we invited him. He had money to buy good shit.” His eyes misted. “Good old Max.”
“What went wrong?”
Bennett’s voice turned soft. “It was Thursday night. We’d finished getting the tent up, we’d finished eating. Max brought out some tabs … I think he had a pane.”
“You mean LSD,” Decker said.
Bennett nodded. “Zeke brought out the vodka. It didn’t take too long before … we got really high.” His eyes were staring at the wall—a TV in his mind. “I was fine. Seeing everything in bright colors and slow motion. Zeke was fine. Max … I think he was seeing things. Bad things. He was hearing noises. He ran outside. He took the gun …”
Bennett swallowed hard.
“Both Zeke and I heard this popping noise.” His lips blew air. “Pop, pop, pop.”
He stared at the wall. He was covering his ears.
“Then there was this screaming … this painful screaming.” His eyes redirected to Decker. “The stupid motherfucker had shot himself in the foot.”
He threw his hands over his face and started to rub his eyes.
“We knew we should get help. But Zeke and I were in warp speed, you know. I couldn’t drive. Neither could Zeke.” A long silence. “We figured we’d just take care of it when we came down … when things went back to normal. I guess we weren’t thinking too well. The motherfucker was bleeding.”
He puffed up his cheeks and blew out air.
“Max kept screaming. It bothered me, but it was really bothering Zeke. He got angry—weird because Zeke wasn’t an angry guy. But things change with shit in your system. He marched up to Max and took the gun, waving it in front of him, telling him to shut up.”
A pause. While Bennett was talking, he was gesticulating the action—waving an imaginary gun.
“We were in the tent. I guess Max came inside after he shot himself. He was yelling at Zeke to do something. That he was in pain.”
Another pause.
“I was like, watching. I could understand, but I couldn’t react.”
Couldn’t or didn’t want to. Bennett had turned quiet. Decker prompted, “Go on.”
“I’m thinking.”
“Take your time.”
A minute passed. Then Bennett said, “At some point, Zeke had enough. He dragged Max outside. I heard noises. Zeke had fired off some rounds in the air trying to convince Max to stop screaming. Like I said, we weren’t thinking too clearly.”
Bennett furrowed his brow. Then he licked his lips.
“At first I thought he killed him. But then Max was still screaming. I wanted to help, but I was like stuck on the ground in the tent. I couldn’t move. And all these distorted images are talking to me in this slurred voice … whispering. Max was screaming and Zeke was screaming. Then things got crazy.”
Decker waited.
“I heard …” He tapped his temple and shook his head. “I heard like this really loud boom. Like a fucking cannon going off.”
He began trembling as he relived the situation.
“My ears started ringing; my head started vibrating … I started shaking. I thought, like: What the fuck! Then a second boom!” He cringed. “The air grew warm and stank of rotten eggs. And shit and stuff started falling on the tent. I swear to God, I thought I was dead. I couldn’t hear a thing. My head was exploding. I couldn’t stand, I couldn’t crawl, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t think. All I could do was shake.”
Tears rolled down his face.
“Then everything turned quiet. I didn’t move for … I don’t know. It felt like forever, but it might have only been a few minutes. I was finally able to get to my knees. I peeked outside.”
He spread his arms.
“There was this big hole in the ground about five feet from the tent. Like a crater. I couldn’t see clearly because everything was dusty and it had turned pitch outside. Had no idea about Max and Zeke. And I was too afraid to turn on a flashlight. Something very bad was out there.”
“Did you see anything?”
“No, but I could feel it. Like hot breath on my neck.”
Silence.
Then Bennett said, “I finally got the courage to go outside. I dropped to my knees … crawling out of the tent … on my stomach. My fingers digging up the ground.” He clawed his fingers. “My hand hit something sharp … like a knife. I look at it, and there’s this piece of metal sticking out of it. I still have the scar.”
He showed Decker his hands.
“There was shit all over the ground. I pulled out the metal from my hand. I was bleeding bad. Crawling back to the tent … to wrap it up.” He made a wrapping motion around his hand. Then he stared at the wall. “I heard the moaning. Like this deep, guttural thing.”
He stopped talking, his eyes focused on something in his brain.
“Didn’t know what the fuck it was. By now, I was back in the tent. I decided to wait for morning. Maybe I’d fall asleep and wake up and realize that it was a bad trip or a bad dream. Of course I didn’t sleep. Maybe dozed a few minutes, then I’d wake up shivering. This went on all night.”
A headshake.
“When morning came, I found Zeke’s car keys in the tent … in his sleeping bag. I took them and put on boots and tiptoed outside.” His lip started trembling. “Crater still there … everything was, like, destroyed! I wanted to run, but then I saw the bodies. Zeke’s eyes were open. This look of … shock … stunned terror in his eyes.” He covered his mouth. “He had this giant hole in his chest. Max’s gun had fallen out of his hands. I picked it up.”
“And Max?”
“He was a couple of yards away. His legs were fucked up, dangling, bone sticking out. Like maybe he stepped on a land mine. He was out, but he was breathing.”
A long pause.
“I put him over my shoulder and started walking to the car.” Bennett mimicked a slinging motion. “Blood all over my shirt from his legs. When I picked him up, he started moaning, so I knew he was alive.” He squeezed his head with his hands. “I still hear it all the time.”
Harriet came out and took his hands off his ears. “You’re safe, Bennett.” She leaned against the wall. Tears were in her eyes.
Bennett shook his head. “I thought I was going in the right direction … to the car. I walked and walked but couldn’t find it. I must have gotten turned around. I began to panic. I was totally fucked up from what happened.”
He stopped talking. McAdams asked, “What did you do next?”
“I don’t remember too well. I know at some point I put Max down. I couldn’t carry him anymore. My back was so fucking sore. I was thinking that I could come back to him once I figured out where I was. I tried to retrace my steps, but I kept getting lost. I thought … this is how I’m gonna die. No food, no water, no good-byes. I’d just drop off the face of the earth. All I had was a fucking gun. You don’t understand how panicked I was.”
Decker said, “I’ve been through battle. I get it.”
“Where? Afghanistan?”
“Vietnam,” Decker said. “Go on. You’re in the woods without food and provisions. Just a gun. And you keep getting lost.”
“I kept walking around and around. Finally, I somehow landed back in camp.”
“Any idea how long you’d been gone?”
“Hours.” A pause. “It seemed like hours.”
Silence.
“Someone had taken all of our shit: the tent and the sleeping bags and the food. Nothing left: no clothes, no backpacks, no money … just cleared the place out. I was back to square one. Lost and without any provisions. I was a mess … my clothes were soaked and dirty and bloody.”
He stopped talking. It took him a while to find his voice.
“Zeke’s body was gone, but it was clear what happened. The crater had been filled up with soil. For some odd reason, the motherfucker left the shovel. Maybe he planned on picking it up later on. But it was all I had, so I took it and headed off to try
to find Zeke’s car. I certainly wasn’t going to stay there.”
Sweat pouring from his forehead.
“Of course, I got lost again. And wouldn’t you know it? I found Max. He was still alive … I heard his heart beat, but he had lost consciousness. His breathing was this weird raspy noise that sounded like static … one foot in the grave. I just eased the process.”
He made a gun with his hand and fired the trigger with his thumb.
“I buried him … it took about two hours, but it was the least I could do.” His eyes turned moist. “I must have walked for hours again. Walked and walked and walked. Finally, I found a road. I tried to hitch a ride, but no one picked me up. I looked like a crazy person: tired, starved, and fucking out of my mind. Blood all over my clothes, shivering with cold and carrying a shovel. On top of everything else, it started to rain.
“Another night in nowhere. Must have been Saturday night. But I was better off than before because at least I was on a road. I was trying to find some kind of civilization. A town or … whatever. Never found a town, but I began to pass some cabins. One was dark. I broke in. No one was home. There was some frozen food in the refrigerator. There was canned food and a can opener. There was clothing. My phone didn’t work, but the house phone did. I was gonna call for help. But then I remembered I’d put a hole in Max’s head. I didn’t call the police. I was … not thinking right.”
“Scared,” Decker said.
“Terrified.”
“Understandable.”
Bennett looked grateful for the empathy. “I was in shelter, out of the cold. First thing I did was eat. Then I showered … I changed into normal clothes—too big but better than being too small. Also, I found a warm jacket. After a night in the woods, I was cold. I left the shovel in the house and hit the road, this time looking like a normal person. Walking until dawn. I never did get a ride, but I found … a little place where there was a general store and a gas station. In the middle of nowhere, musta been there for years. It was early in the morning. My phone still didn’t have any bars, and everything was closed. But I saw a motorcycle that was chained to an iron post. I blasted the sucker with Max’s gun, almost blew up my own head in the process … hot metal and shit flying everywhere.”
Silence.
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