"Elias Tate disappeared even before the Customs inspection. We have no idea where he is. As for the Ashers-" The cardinal hesitated. "They were last seen leaving in a cab. I'm sorry."
Bulkowsky said, "We will find them."
"With God's help," the cardinal said, and crossed himself. Bulkowsky, seeing that, did likewise.
"The power of evil," Bulkowsky said.
"Yes," the cardinal said. "That is what we are up against."
"But it loses in the end."
"Yes, absolutely. I am going to the chapel, now. To pray. I advise you to do the same."
Raising an eyebrow, Bulkowsky regarded him. His expression could not be read; it was intricate.
CHAPTER 10
When Herb Asher awoke he was told perplexing facts. He had spent-not weeks-but years in cryonic suspension. The doctors could not explain why it had taken so long to obtain replacement organs. Circumstances, they told him, beyond our control. Procedural problems.
He said, "What about Emmanuel?"
Dr. Pope, who looked older and grayer and more distinguished than before, said, "Someone broke into the hospital and removed your son from the synthowomb." "When?"
"Almost at once. The fetus was in the synthowomb for only a day, according to our records."
"Do you know who did it?"
"According to our video tapes-we monitor our synthowombs constantly-it was an elderly bearded man." After a pause Dr. Pope added, "Deranged in appearance. You must face the very high probability factor that your son is dead, has in fact been dead for ten years, either from natural causes, which is to say from being taken out of his synthowomb . . . or due to the actions of the elderly bearded man. Either deliberate or accidental. The police could not locate either of them. I'm sorry."
Elias Tate, Herb said to himself. Spiriting Emmanuel away to safety. He shut his eyes and felt overwhelming gratitude.
"How do you feel?" Dr. Pope inquired.
"I dreamed. I didn't know that people in cryonic suspension were conscious."
"You weren't."
"I dreamed again and again about my wife." He felt bitter grief hover over him and then descend on him, filling him; the grief was too much. "Always I found myself back there with her. When we met, before we met. The trip to Earth. Little things. Dishes of spoiled food . . . she was sloppy."
"But you do have your son."
"Yes," he said. He wondered how he would be able to find Elias and Emmanuel. They will have to find me, he realized.
For a month he remained at the hospital, undergoing remedial therapy to build up his strength, and then, on a cool morning in mid-March, the hospital discharged him. Suitcase in hand he walked down the front steps, shaky and afraid but happy to be free. Every day during his therapy he had expected the authorities to come swooping down on him. They did not. He wondered why.
As he stood with a throng of people trying to flag down a flycar Yellow cab he noticed a blind beggar standing off to one side, an ancient, white-haired, very large man wearing soiled clothing; the old man held a cup.
"Elias," Herb Asher said.
Going over to him he regarded his old friend. Neither of them spoke for a time and then Elias Tate said, "Hello, Herbert."
"Rybys told me you often take the form of a beggar," Herb Asher said. He reached out to put his arms around the old man, but Elias shook his head.
"It is Passover," Elias said. "And I am here. The power of my spirit is too great; you should not touch me. It is all my spirit, now, at this moment."
"You are not a man," Herb Asher said, awed.
"I am many men," Elias said. "it's good to see you again. Emmanuel said you would be released today."
"The boy is all right?"
"He is beautiful."
"I saw him," Herb Asher said. "Once, a while ago. In a vision that-" He paused. "Jehovah sent to me. To help me."
"Did you dream?" Elias asked.
"About Rybys. And about you as well. About everything that happened. I lived it over and over again."
"But now you are alive again," Elias said. "Welcome back, Herbert Asher. We have much to do."
"Do we have a chance? Do we have any real chance?"
"The boy is ten years old," Elias said. "He has confused their wits, scrambled up their thinking. He has made them forget. But-" Elias was silent a moment. "He, too, has forgotten. You will see. A few years ago he began to remember; he heard a song and some of his memories came back. Enough, perhaps, or maybe not enough. You may bring back more. He programmed himself, originally, before the accident."
With extreme difficulty Herb Asher said, "He was injured, then? In the accident?"
Elias nodded. Somberly.
"Brain damage." Herb Asher said; he saw the expression on his friend's face.
Again the old man nodded, the elderly beggar with the cup. The immortal Elijah, here at Passover. As always. The eternal, helping friend of man. Tattered and shabby, and very wise.
---------------
Zina said, "Your father is coming, isn't he?"
Together they sat on a bench in Rock Creek Park, near the frozen-over water. Trees shaded them with bare, stark branches. The air had turned cold, and both children wore heavy clothing. But the sky overhead was clear. Emmanuel gazed up for a time.
"What does your slate say?" Zina asked.
"I don't have to consult my slate."
"He isn't your father."
Emmanuel said, "He's a good person. It's not his fault that my mother died. I'll be happy to see him once more. I've missed him." He thought, It's been a long time. According to the scale by which they reckon here in the Lower Realm.
What a tragic realm this is, he reflected. Those down here are prisoners, and the ultimate tragedy is that they don't know it; they think they are free because they have never been free, and do not understand what it means. This is a prison, and few men have guessed. But I know, he said to himself. Because that is why I am here. To burst the walls, to tear down the metal gates, to break each chain. Thou shalt not muzzle the ox as he treadeth out the corn, he thought, remembering the Torah. You will not imprison a free creature; you will not bind it. Thus says the Lord your God. Thus I say.
They do not know whom they serve. This is the heart of their misfortune: service in error, to a wrong thing. They are poisoned as if with metal, he thought. Metal confining them and metal in their blood; this is a metal world. Driven by cogs, a machine that grinds along, dealing out suffering and death . . . They are so accustomed to death, he realized, as if death, too, were natural. How long it has been since they knew the Garden. The place of resting animals and flowers. When can I find for them that place again?
There are two realities, he said to himself. The Black Iron Prison, which is called the Cave of Treasures, in which they now live, and the Palm Tree Garden with its enormous spaces, its light, where they originally dwelt. Now they are literally blind, he thought. Literally unable to see more than a short distance; far-away objects are invisible to them now. Once in a while one of them guesses that formerly they had faculties now gone; once in a while one of them discerns the truth, that they are not now what they were and not now where they were. But they forget again, exactly as I forgot. And I still forget somewhat, he realized. I still have only a partial vision. I am occluded, too.
But I will not be, soon.
"You want a Pepsi?" Zina said.
"It's too cold. I just want to sit."
"Don't be unhappy." She put her mittened hand on his arm. "Be joyful."
Emmanuel said, "I'm tired. I'll be okay. There's a lot that has to be done. I'm sorry. It weighs on me."
"You're not afraid, are you?" "Not any more," Emmanuel said. "You are sad." He nodded. Zina said, "You'll feel better when you see Mr. Asher again." "I see him now," Emmanuel said.
"Very good," she said, pleased. "And even without your slate."
"I use it less and less," he said, "because the knowledge is progressively more and more in me. As you know. And you know
why."
To that, Zina said nothing.
"We are close, you and I," Emmanuel said. "I have always loved you the most. I always will. You are going to stay on with me and advise me, aren't you?" He knew the answer: he knew that she would. She had been with him from the beginning-as she said, his darling and delight. And her delight, as Scripture said, was in mankind. So, through her, he himself loved mankind: it was his delight as well.
"We could get something hot to drink," Zina said.
He murmured, "I just want to sit." I shall sit here until it is time to go to meet Herb Asher, he said to himself. He can tell me about Rybys: his many memories of her will give me joy, the joy that, right now, I lack.
I love him, he realized. I love my mother's husband, my legal father. Like other men he is a good human being. He is a man of merit, and to be cherished.
But, unlike other men, Herb Asher knows Who I am. Thus I can talk openly with him, as I do with Elias. And with Zina. It will help, he thought. I will be less weary. No longer as I am now, pinned by my cares: weighed down. The burden, to some extent, will lift. Because it will be shared.
And, he thought, there is still so much that I do not remember. I am not as I was. Like them, like the people. I have fallen. The bright morning star which fell did not fall alone, it tore down everything else with it, including me. Part of my own being fell with it, and I am that fallen being now.
But then, as he sat there on the bench with Zina, in the park on this cold day so near the vernal equinox, he thought, But Herbert Asher lay dreaming in his bunk, dreaming of a phantom life with Linda Fox, while my mother struggled to survive. Not once did he try to help her; not once did he inquire into her trouble and seek remedy. Not until I, I myself, forced him to go to her, not until then did he do anything. I do not love the man, he said to himself. I know the man and he forfeited his right to my love-he lost my love because he did not care. I cannot, thereupon, care about him. In response.
Why should I help any of them? he asked himself. They do what is right only when forced to, when there is no alternative. They fell of their own accord and are fallen now, of their own accord, by what they have voluntarily done. My mother is dead because of them; they murdered her. They would murder me if they could figure out where I am; only because I have confused their wits do they leave me alone. High and low they seek my life, just as Ahab sought Elijah's life, so long ago. They are a worthless race, and I do not care if they fall. I do not care at all. To save them I must fight what they themselves are. And have always been.
"You look so downcast," Zina said.
"What is this for?" he said. "They are what they are. I grow more and more weary. And I care less and less, as I begin to remember. For ten years I have lived on this world, now, and for ten years they have hunted me. Let them die. Did I not say to them the talion law: 'An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth'? Is that not in the Torah? They drove me off this world two thousand years ago; I return; they wish me dead. Under the talion law I should wish them dead. It is the sacred law of Israel. It is my law, my word."
Zina was silent.
"Advise me," Emmanuel said. "I have always listened to your advice."
Zina said:
One day Elijah the prophet appeared to Rabbi Baruka in the market of Lapet. Rabbi Baruka asked him, "Is there any one among the people of this market who is destined to share in the world to come?" . . . Two men appeared on the scene and Elijah said, "These two will share in the world to come." Rabbi Baruka asked them, "What is your occupation?" They said, "We are merrymakers. When we see a man who is downcast, we cheer him up. When we see two people quarreling with one another, we endeavor to make peace between them."
"You make me less sad," Emmanuel said. "And less weary. As you always have. As Scripture says of you:
Then I was at his side every day, his darling and delight, playing in his presence continually, playing on the earth, when he had finished it, while my delight was in mankind.
And Scripture says:
Wisdom I loved; I sought her out when I was young and longed to win her for my bride, and I fell in love with her beauty.
But that was Solomon, not me.
So I determined to bring her home to live with me, knowing that she would be my counsellor in prosperity and my comfort in anxiety and grief.
"Solomon was a wise man, to love you so."
Beside him the girl smiled. She said nothing, but her dark eyes shone.
"Why are you smiling?" he asked.
"Because you have shown the truth of Scripture when it says:
I will betroth you to Me forever. I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice, in love and in mercy. I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness, and you shall love the Lord.
Remember that you made the Covenant with man. And you made man in your own image. You cannot break the Covenant; you have made man that promise, that you will never break it."
Emmanuel said, "That is so. You advise me well." He thought, And you cheer my heart. You above all else, you who came before creation. Like the two merrymakers, he thought, who Elijah said would be saved. Your dancing, your singing, and the sound of bells. "I know," he said, "what your name means."
"Zina?" she said. "It's just a name.
"It is the Roumanian word for-" He ceased speaking; the girl had trembled visibly, and her eyes were now wide.
"How long have you known it?" she said.
"Years. Listen:
I know a bank where the wild thyme blows,
Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows;
Quite over-canopied with luscious woodbine,
With sweet musk-roses, and with eglantine:
There sleeps Titania sometime of the night,
Lull'd in these flowers with dances and delight;
And there the snake throws her enamell'd skin,
Weed wide enough
I will finish; listen:
To wrap a fairy in.
And I have known this," he finished, "all this time." Staring at him, Zina said, "Yes, Zina means fairy."
"You are not Holy Wisdom," he said, "you are Diana, the fairy queen."
Cold wind rustled the branches of the trees. And, across the frozen creek, a few dry leaves scuttled.
"I see," Zina said.
About the two of them the wind rustled, as if speaking. He could hear the wind as words. And the wind said:
BEWARE!
He wondered if she heard it, too.
---------------
But they were still friends. Zina told Emmanuel about an early identity that she had once had. Thousands of years ago, she said, she had been Ma'at, the Egyptian goddess who represented the cosmic order and justice. When someone died his heart was weighed against Ma'at's ostrich feather. By this the person's burden of sins was determined.
The principle by which the sinfulness of the person was determined consisted of the degree of his truthfulness. To the extent that he was truthful the judgment went in his favor. This judgment was presided over by Osiris, but since Ma'at was the goddess of truthfulness, then it followed that the determination was hers to make.
"After that," Zina said, "the idea of the judgment of human souls passed over into Persia." In the ancient Persian religion, Zoroastrianism, a sifting bridge had to be crossed by the newly dead person. If he was evil the bridge got narrower and narrower until he toppled off and plunged into the fiery pit of hell. Judaism in its later stages and Christianity had gotten their ideas of the Final Days from this.
The good person, who managed to cross the sifting bridge, was met by the spirit of his religion: a beautiful young woman with superb, large breasts. However, if the person was evil the spirit of his religion consisted of a dried-up old hag with sagging paps. You could tell at a glance, therefore, which category you belonged to.
"Were you the spirit of religion for the good persons?" Emmanuel asked.
Zina did not answer the question; she passed on to another matter which she was
more anxious to communicate to him.
In these judgments of the dead, stemming from Egypt and Persia, the scrutiny was pitiless and the sinful soul was de facto doomed. Upon your death the books listing your good deeds and bad deeds closed, and no one, even the gods, could alter the tabulation. In a sense the procedure of judgment was mechanical. A bill of particulars, in essence, had been drawn up against you, compiled during your lifetime, and now this bill of particulars was fed into a mechanism of retribution. Once the mechanism received the list, it was all over for you. The mechanism ground you to shreds, and the gods merely watched, impassively.
But one day (Zina said) a new figure made its appearance at the path leading to the sifting bridge. This was an enigmatic figure who seemed to consist of a shifting succession of aspects or roles. Sometimes he was called Comforter. Sometimes Advocate. Sometimes Beside-Helper. Sometimes Support. Sometimes Advisor. No one knew where he had come from. For thousands of years he had not been there, and then one day he had appeared. He stood at the edge of the busy path, and as the souls made their way to the sifting bridge this complex figure-who sometimes, but rarely, seemed to be a woman-signaled to the persons, each in turn, to attract their attention. It was essential that the Beside-Helper got their attention before they stepped onto the sifting bridge, because after that it was too late.
"Too late for what?" Emmanuel said.
Zina said, "The Beside-Helper upon stopping a person approaching the sifting bridge asked him if he wished to be represented in the testing which was to come."
"By the Beside-Helper?"
The Beside-Helper, she explained, assumed his role of Advocate; he offered to speak on the person's behalf. But the Beside-Helper offered something more. He offered to present his own bill of particulars to the retribution mechanism in place of the bill of particulars of the person. If the person were innocent this would make no difference, but, for the guilty, it would yield up a sentence of exculpation rather than guilt.
"That's not fair," Emmanuel said. "The guilty should be punished."
"Why?" Zina said.
"Because it is the law," Emmanuel said.
"Then there is no hope for the guilty."
Emmanuel said, "They deserve no hope."
"What if everyone is guilty?"
He had not thought of that. "What does the Beside-Helper's bill of particulars list?" he asked.
"It is blank," Zina said. "A perfectly white piece of paper. A document on which nothing is inscribed."
"The retributive machinery could not process that."
Zina said, "It would process it. It would imagine that it had received a compilation of a totally spotless person."
"But it couldn't act. It would have no input data."
"That's the whole point."
"Then the machinery of justice has been bilked."
"Bilked out of a victim," Zina said. "Is that not to be desired? Should there be victims? What is gained if there is an unending procession of victims? Does that right the wrongs they have committed?"
"No," he said.
"The idea," Zina said, "is to feed mercy into the circuit. The Beside-Helper is an amicus curiae, a friend of the court. He advises the court, by its permission, that the case before it constitutes an exception. The general rule of punishment does not apply."
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