by Diana Palmer
She was over the moon. She wasn’t even impatient waiting for Maude. Her heart felt so full it was almost to bursting. What she’d dreaded at first was turning into one of the best decisions she’d ever made. Gone was the fear of Bailey and his thugs. Gone was her uneasiness about marrying Jake. She was suddenly positive that they really were going to make a wonderful marriage.
It was a long way to Manhattan, a tiring trip. But she wanted to go very much. An evening with Jake would be out of this world. She thought about travel with him after they were married. There were worlds of places to go and see. And just being married to him would be very nice.
The only thing was, she wanted a child. She’d spoken to Dr. Menzer about it, without Jake’s knowledge, because she had to know, just in case, if she could carry a child with her health issues.
He’d assured her that she could. It might put more stress on her bad hip, but there were ways of coping with that. He’d grinned and teased her about her so-called platonic marriage to the most eligible bachelor in town. She was quick to mention that she and Jake had agreed that it would be a marriage of friends. The doctor, however, was certain that it wouldn’t remain that way for long. Not if she was asking about her chances of carrying a baby to term. But he didn’t say that.
She glanced at Jake, wondering what a child of his would look like. He had silver eyes and hers were blue. They were both tall and musically inclined. Their child might be a prodigy, who could say? She allowed herself a brief daydream, of her holding a baby in her arms and Jake bending over her with joy in his face, his eyes. Truly a pipe dream, she thought after a minute. An impossible dream.
* * *
MAUDE WAS BACK by the time Fred got really twitchy. He was tapping in rhythm on the steering wheel and looking all around him, as if he expected the police any minute. It amused Ida, who had no idea why he was so nervous. She’d mention it to Jake later, if there was time.
Fred took them back to the house, and Maude, after a minute of heartfelt gratitude to them both, went to the kitchen to cook something magnificent for supper.
“You need to rest for a while,” Jake told Ida. “You’ve been on your feet too long.” He felt the weight of the dress she’d purchased, in its neat bag that he couldn’t see through. “Going to show it to me later?” he asked with a wicked grin.
“Not until the wedding,” she said firmly.
“Does it come with a veil?”
She laughed. “Yes. It comes with a veil.”
He moved closer, one lean hand going to her cheek as his silver eyes looked intently into hers. “I’ll lift the veil when we’re married, and be the first to see you as a married woman,” he whispered.
Her heart ran away with her. Her breath caught in her throat as she stared at him with fascination. She’d never known anybody like him, and she’d have bet her life that he’d never raise a hand to her or shout at her as Bailey had.
“Mrs. Jake McGuire,” he added in a husky whisper, his eyes all over her beautiful face as he studied her.
She just stared at him helplessly. “Yes,” she managed.
He bent his head and brushed his mouth softly, tenderly, against her own, briefly, so that he didn’t upset her or make her feel threatened.
He drew back. She tasted like honey. He smiled. “Don’t panic,” he teased. “I’m just practicing for when Tolbert marries us.”
She laughed very softly and her eyes were full of her own delight. “Okay.” She hesitated. “Are you sure we don’t need just a little...more practice?” she faltered, uncertain of him.
But he smiled. “We might,” he murmured.
He bent again, but this time the kiss lingered, slowly building to an intensity that brought her closer as the arm that wasn’t holding the dress went around her shoulders and pressed her to him. His mouth was warm and gentle, even though his heart was racing and he felt himself going very taut at even that contact. But he mustn’t frighten her, he told himself. He had to be gentle for a while, and not give way to the desire that had unexpectedly bubbled up in him.
He drew back far too soon, his breath going into her mouth as he lifted it. She looked—he wasn’t certain—dazed, perhaps. Fascinated. He smiled. He liked the way she looked very much. He started to bend his head again, afraid that this time it wouldn’t be gentle or brief, because he was rapidly losing his self-control. He was in over his head. He couldn’t stop. But he had to. His lips were almost touching hers when the kitchen door opened suddenly and they broke apart.
CHAPTER TWELVE
MAUDE HID A smile as she told them that dinner would be served momentarily. They looked flushed and disoriented. Good, she thought. This might be a better marriage than they’d planned. Especially, she added to herself, since the boss lady was knitting a baby blanket. She’d said it was for the child of a friend, but the way she looked as she worked gave away her own hunger for a child. She wondered if the boss knew it.
He didn’t. He was too concerned with wedding preparations and faint doubts. He liked Ida, a lot. He was comfortable with her. But he had memories he couldn’t share with her, memories that brought him awake shouting in the dark. Flashbacks of horror, gore, war. He lived alone, so nobody knew about them.
He did recall Cindy mentioning that Ida had woken her screaming one night, and she’d called the sheriff, thinking the poor woman was being attacked. It was bad memories there, too.
Jake sighed. If Ida had nightmares, too, they might get along well. But he also had battle scars that he’d never shared. He didn’t go shirtless in the summer, even on the hottest days when he was helping the men out on the ranch, here and in Australia. It brought comment, which had quickly been squelched by foremen who knew about him.
He wondered if Ida had cold feet, too. He’d given his word, promised to marry her, bought her a ring. It was too late to back out. He’d have to go through with it. Some small part of him wanted to marry her. He was lonely. He missed the wonderful days he’d had with Mina when he hoped to make her love him. Those days were only memories. They comforted him when he was sad. He thought about her with the baby boy she shared with her husband, Cort, and recalled how much he’d wished it was his child.
He didn’t think Ida would want children, not in her physical condition. He wasn’t certain that she could carry a child in her body with all the damage it had sustained. But he remembered her knitting the baby blanket. It gave him an unexpected jolt of pleasure.
He went back to talk to Tolbert, because he was concerned. The wedding was tomorrow. He couldn’t back out now. The marriage had been announced in all the surrounding counties’ newspapers. Jake was well-known in cattlemen’s circles, in sophisticated circles in cities, as well. There would be coverage of the wedding. He hadn’t told Ida. It would be impossible to keep the newsmen away, even if they could be barred from the church during the brief ceremony. It was just one more worry to address.
“You’re concerned,” Tolbert guessed when they were sitting in his office at the church.
“Yes,” Jake confessed. He was perched on the edge of the chair, his elbows resting on his knees as he leaned forward. “I guess most bachelors get cold feet just before the ceremony.”
“Every one,” Tolbert said with a smile. “Women, too. I expect your Ida is pacing the floor herself.”
He hadn’t thought of that. But it made sense.
“Listen,” Tolbert said gently, “you and Ida are very suited. She’s beautiful and rich and talented. Yes, she has physical problems, but she can afford any rehab she needs to keep going. Women with hip replacements can have kids, you know,” he added and noted Jake’s surprise. “We have two women in our congregation who had babies, and they had complaints at least as bad as Ida’s.”
“Well!” Jake said, brightening. He sobered. “But it’s not going to be that sort of marriage,” he added quickly. “Just friends.”
�
�Certainly,” Tolbert agreed easily. “Just friends.” But he was hiding a smile.
* * *
IDA JUMPED WHEN Jake tapped on her bedroom door. She opened it, looking as harassed and worried as he’d felt before he had the talk with the minister.
“Come out and drink coffee and we’ll talk about cold feet and the future,” he said with pursed lips and an amused smile.
She burst out laughing. “Look who reads minds,” she teased, her blue eyes sparkling with humor.
She was incredibly beautiful, he thought, staring down at her. He smiled, hiding his reaction to her. He didn’t want her any more nervous than she already was.
She walked beside him, without her cane.
“Feeling okay today?”
She nodded. “I’m taking the ibuprofen. I can take it until Sunday.” She made a face. “Then it’s off for ten days.” She looked up at him. “I’ll never be the same again as I was,” she said. “Is it all right? I may not be able to keep up with you if the weather’s bad and the joint gets inflamed...”
“If you can’t keep up with me, I’ll carry you,” he said softly.
She went red as a beet. It was the last thing she’d expected him to say. “Oh.”
He chuckled. He liked her reactions to him. She had little conventional knowledge of men. Both her marriages had been out of the mainstream, and the second one had turned her into a broken version of herself. But broken people could be fixed, he assured himself. He was going to make sure that Ida had a good life, that she was safe from her maniacal ex-husband, whatever it took. If he had to, he’d borrow Mina’s band of mercs and set them up around the house. Let Trent and his thugs try anything then! He smiled to himself.
“You look smug,” she pointed out, wondering why.
He chuckled. “I was thinking about Mina’s group of mercenaries.”
She lowered her eyes and felt her heart sink. “I see.” He was still tied to Mina. He loved her in a way he’d never be able to love another woman. Why did that thought hurt so much?
“Your ex-husband and his thugs would think they’d hit a brick wall if he ran into them,” he pointed out.
Her lips parted on a quick breath. He was being protective. Maybe he cared, just a little. He had to care, she told herself. He’d taken her in, protected her, saved her cat, done everything in his power to ease her worries. If that didn’t add up to at least affection, nothing would. She felt better. There was a little warm glow inside her that grew as she looked up and smiled at him.
He felt that smile to the soles of his feet. Her eyes were soft and curious, almost...loving. He felt his breath catch as he looked down at her. The tension grew exponentially. He moved a step closer and his big hand went to lie against her soft cheek.
“Tomorrow,” he said softly, “we’ll be married.”
“Yes,” she replied.
“No more cold feet.”
She smiled. “Okay.”
He smiled back. The tension was making him very uncomfortable. He turned away. “How about some coffee and pie? I’ll bet Maude’s concealing both in the kitchen.”
“Concealing them?” she asked and laughed.
He shrugged. His pale silver eyes twinkled. “Bad choice of words.”
“And here I was thinking it was unique!”
He held out his hand. She slid hers into it. The contact felt wonderful, she thought, and wondered why her feet didn’t feel as if they were touching the floor.
* * *
“I FOUND A way to get Cindy a dress without hurting her pride,” Jake said while they drank coffee.
“You did? How?”
“Her husband does odd jobs for me when he isn’t working at his full-time job. I told him it was an early holiday bonus, but he had to use part of it to buy Cindy a bridesmaid’s dress and outfit her. I also mentioned that Maude was wearing a color like pale roses.” He cocked his head. “Did I do all right?”
She let out a long sigh. “Oh, yes. It broke my heart to think that she wouldn’t come. She’s been such a good friend. I didn’t know how to work it out. Thank you.”
“My pleasure,” he replied. “I like Cindy, too. She’ll probably call you later. Her husband was going to take her shopping this morning.”
“Lovely!”
He looked at her bright, happy face over his coffee cup. “This time tomorrow, we’ll be married.”
Her heart jumped up into her throat. She was sure that he wasn’t anything like Bailey. And there was no chance that he didn’t like women. The only thing that worried her was Mina. He’d never gotten over her. What if he never did?
“No more cold feet,” he said, reading the worried expression on her face without understanding why it was there. “We’re going to make a good marriage.”
She searched his eyes for a long time, feeling the electricity jump all over her body at the intensity of the look they were suddenly exchanging.
“You were knitting a baby blanket,” he said, his voice sounding oddly husky. “You like kids.”
“Oh, yes,” she said softly.
He looked down into his coffee cup. He wasn’t going to mention what he and the minister had talked about. Still...
“The minister mentioned that he had a couple of women in his congregation with injuries similar to yours. Both of them had kids.”
Her heart ran wild in her chest. Her lips parted on a stunned breath. “Really?” she asked, without confessing that she’d consulted her orthopedic surgeon about it.
“Not that we’re going to have that sort of a marriage,” he said quickly, misreading the look on her face. He averted his eyes. “Children take a lot of work.”
“Yes.” She had to hide her disappointment. She forced a smile. “We’ll have several people at the wedding.”
“A nice little bunch, without overcrowding,” he said, pleased to let the subject of children pass by. It disturbed him, how much he wanted a child. Ida was beautiful. He wondered if a child of theirs would have her blue eyes or his silver ones. He thought about a miniature version of himself, in little cowboy boots, following him around the ranch. He smiled to himself and then wiped the smile clean. Impossible dreams were a waste of time.
“Well, I’ve got a few phone calls to make. People get married, but business goes on forever,” he teased. “I’ll see you later.”
“Okay.”
* * *
SHE SAT WITH MAUDE, discussing little details about the ceremony. The phone rang and it was Cindy.
“My husband got a very early vacation bonus,” she said excitedly. “And he said we were going to spend it on a bridesmaid dress. He said Maude had a pale rose-colored dress, so I got one, too... Am I invited?”
“Are you kidding? Of course you’re invited! Oh, Cindy, I wanted you to come so badly, but I knew you’d never let me outfit you...”
“No, I wouldn’t,” Cindy replied, but there was a smile in her voice. “I’m so happy that I get to come.”
“Me, too. We’ve been friends for a long time. In a way, I owe our marriage to you. If you hadn’t been so thoughtful when my car broke down, Jake and I might never have gotten together at all.”
“Oh, I doubt that,” Cindy teased. “He used to stare at you when you were both in the café,” she added.
Ida’s heart jumped. “He did?” she asked breathlessly.
“He did. I’m not sure he realizes what he feels, you know,” she said very softly. “But he does feel something.”
“Thanks,” Ida said, her voice quiet, hopeful. “He’s been very kind to me. I was afraid that it was, well, pity.”
“He wouldn’t marry anybody just because he felt sorry for her,” Cindy said. “Oops, customers piling in. I have to go. I’ll see you at the church tomorrow. Did you get a pretty dress?”
“I did. Something white, because Jake insisted.”
There was a quick laugh. “Well, honestly, you haven’t really had a conventional marriage until now, so white seems very appropriate.”
“I just hope nobody comments on it. There are a lot of people who think it should be scarlet instead of white. I haven’t done myself any favors, trying to discourage men.”
“You’d be surprised what people are saying about you lately... Gotta go! See you tomorrow!” And she hung up.
Ida put down her phone, her expression quiet and curious. “Cindy said people were saying things about me lately,” she said to Maude.
“Yes, about your disgusting ex-husband and what you did to keep men from bothering you,” Maude said with a smug look. “Cindy and I started some gossip of our own.” She looked guilty. “I hope you don’t mind. I felt so bad about the way I treated you when Mr. McGuire first brought you home with him. Cindy wasn’t happy about the gossip, either, so we put our heads together and talked to some people.”
Ida smiled. “Thanks, Maude,” she said. “Thanks a lot.”
“Wasn’t much. I’m glad it helped.” She smiled. “Why don’t you lie down for a while and rest? Big day tomorrow!”
“Oh, yes.”
* * *
IDA STRETCHED OUT on the cover of her bed with a sigh. She’d already had her morning dose of ibuprofen, which was helping a lot, but she still had some pain. She closed her eyes, just to rest them, but she dozed off.
She was running from Bailey. He was chasing her with a club and yelling curses at her. She was almost to a safe place when she tripped and fell. Bailey caught her with one hand and raised the club in the other.
“I’ll make you pay for putting me in jail!” he was yelling.
The first blow came against her shoulder. She cried out. The next hit her lower back, the next her injured hip. She felt the blows as if they were actually happening; she was crying, screaming for help...
“Ida,” came a soft voice in her ear.