by Jen Davis
Brick opened his mouth, but this was too important to let him interrupt.
Robby hardened his voice. “I love you. We’re family, and it means everything you want to slay dragons for me. But I don’t need protection from this. Even if you don’t trust Matt, you have to trust me and accept my choice. Respect me enough to show him some respect.”
His friend silently returned to his seat.
“Damn, Robby.” Kane whistled. “When did you grow such a big set of balls, brother?”
“If you want a look at my balls, brother, all you have to do is ask.” He cocked his head and lifted his chin in challenge.
It was Amanda of all people who broke the tension with a bark of laughter, and her mirth spread like wildfire. In a matter of seconds, everyone at the table was laughing.
Everyone but Matt. When Kane coughed out his last chortle, he spoke up. “I get it. You guys don’t know me very well. To be real, sometimes, I’m not sure I know myself. I do know I’m not looking to hurt Robby. I’m in this one hundred percent.”
Matt looked at Kane, then Brick. “I’m not with Jimmy’s mom. I never have been. We were friends who gave it a one-time shot at something more. It didn’t work out, but it gave me my son, so I am never going to regret it. Patty may always be in my life, but she isn’t my future. Robby is.” He sat up ramrod straight. “I’d love your blessing, but we’re going to be together whether you give it or not.”
Both big men gaped, but Brick recovered first. “Does he make you happy, Robby?”
Happy? His heart could burst right now after Matt’s little speech. “Yeah. He does.” And he planned to keep him as long as he possibly could.
“Good enough for me. Now somebody better start eating these hamburgers before they get cold. No way I’m letting all this fucking meat go to waste.”
Kane waited until Robby took a bite and started chewing before he leaned forward. “Just for the record, I don’t want to see your balls, bro. I’m sure they’re nice and all, but my own nuts are more than enough to behold every day.”
His wife nudged him with her shoulder. “You just keep telling yourself that, baby.”
And this time when the laughter started, everyone joined in.
Chapter TWENTY-FOUR
Robby
Tonight would be the night.
Robby ran his hand over the stubble on his jaw and nodded resolutely at his reflection in the mirror. It was time to drop the last of his walls. One by one, he’d shed the layers he’d built to insulate himself from the outside world.
He’d cut the long bangs and ditched the thrift store Oxfords that made him look like a teenager taking his grandma out to lunch.
He’d stopped smiling when he didn’t mean it. Stopped agreeing with everything. Stopped hoping for people to fight his battles.
And with every new side he exposed of himself, he’d given the people he loved an opportunity to turn away, to reject him. Only, they hadn’t.
Brick had said he liked the haircut and clothes right away. He’d said confidence looked good on him.
Kane had laughed when he stood up for himself and made a crack about his balls.
And when he’d lost his mind a little with the cameras at the Q-Center, no one batted an eye over the fact he couldn’t bring himself to smile. If anything, being real had brought them all closer.
Now all he had left to reveal were the dark, oily secrets writhing beneath his skin…and the scars they’d left behind. He couldn’t hide them forever. It had been a miracle he’d managed this long.
Besides, their acceptance pumped like a drug through his veins. The more he got, the more he craved. With every smile, every hug, every touch, he got a little closer to flying. God wouldn’t bring him this far only to get rejected in the end.
No. This time someone would see him—all of him—and want him anyway.
He dipped his hand in the running water from the faucet and ran it through his hair, making it stand up in short spikes. With one last satisfied look in the mirror, he left to join Matt at the tattoo parlor.
Finally, he would meet the infamous Patty, which he both dreaded and looked forward to in equal measure. On one hand, she’d been the best friend Matt had ever had. She was a window into his history, and Robby hungered for every new piece of the man available to discover.
At the same time, though, she might hate him on principle. She’d wanted the kind of relationship with Matt he had. Could she be happy for them? If she wanted to, she could keep him away from her son, which could draw a wedge between him and Matt in a way he might never overcome.
He shut down the bubbling anxiety as he parked the car in front of the shop. Either she’d like him, or she wouldn’t.
Though a short prayer never hurt anyone.
A quick petition to the Almighty later, he threw back his shoulders and strode inside. Matt waited in the seat immediately to the left of the door and popped to his feet when the bell sounded overhead.
“You look great, Rob.” Matt gave him a shy smile before tilting his head toward the woman at the counter. “Let me introduce you to Jimmy’s mom.”
Patty’s eyes narrowed as she caught sight of him. Men—and women too, he supposed—had taken his measure many times in his life, but he’d never felt the weight of their assessment the way he did hers. Her gaze catalogued every inch of him, from his barely styled hair, to his blue V-neck shirt, all the way down to his navy jeans and brown knock-off Helm boots.
His initial assessment of her from Closing Time held up fairly well on closer inspection. A red cloth headband held back her short brown hair. It brought out the rich color of her dark skin and matched the shade of her lipstick. She wore a black Alicia Keyes T-shirt and sported at least six green and red fabric bracelets with various designs on her right wrist.
Suppressing the urge to blind her with one of his sunshine smiles, he kept his face neutral as he approached.
Matt broke the ice. “Patty, this is Robby. Rob, Patty.”
He wasn’t sure she would accept his hand, but he offered it anyway. Her grip was cool and firm. It warmed him she accepted the peace offering, but he wouldn’t fool himself; a handshake was a far cry from a sign of approval.
“It’s really great to meet you. Matt says you were the best friend he had growing up.”
She gave nothing away with her silent shrug.
“I respect you wanting to get to know me before accepting me in your son’s life. I want you to know I take it very seriously. I grew up in a family and an environment where children were cherished and lifted up by the community.” As long as they didn’t make the mistake of ending up gay. “I’ve spent a lot of time around kids, and I love them. I’m sure I’ll love your son too.”
Patty’s face softened a little. “Did you grow up around here?”
“No. A small town, not too far away.”
“So, you’re still pretty close with your family.”
Why had he brought up his family? Stupid. “I was. Until they found out I was gay. They…couldn’t reconcile who I am with who they thought I should be. I’ve been on my own ever since.”
She leaned forward, resting her elbows on the counter. “Your family sucks. My mom’s always been there for me, no matter how much I’ve fucked up.”
Matt bumped her shoulder gently with his own. “When you love somebody, you don’t stop loving them just because they disappoint you.”
They shared a meaningful look.
A beat later, her gaze shot back to Robby. “What’s the deal with you and Matty?”
“Pat—” Matt tried to interrupt her, but she shooed him away.
“Because he’s right. I didn’t just stop loving him because he didn’t love me back the way I wanted him to. And maybe I don’t have any right to nose into what’s happening between you, but I’m asking anyway.”
“The deal is…we’re together. We fit.” He chanced a look at Matt, and the smile he found fortified him to continue. “I love him. Not as long as y
ou have, but it doesn’t have to be a competition. I’m not trying to replace you in his heart. There’s room for both of us there.”
“What kind of man are you?”
“I’m loyal. Faithful.” He swallowed. “I work hard. I believe in God. I’m grateful every day for the friends who have become my family. And want to spend every day loving Matt…and hopefully, one day, your son too.”
“He already has two parents who love him.” She stood straight, folding her arms and lifting her chin in challenge.
“I don’t think anyone can have too many people who love them.”
Patty released her arms, but her chin didn’t drop at all. “I’ll think about it.”
“I appreciate it. I’m sure this is weird for you. It probably sucks. So, thank you. For meeting me and for hearing me out.” Robby didn’t offer his hand again. Instead, he ducked his head and turned toward the door.
Matt rested a hand gently on his back and followed him out to the car. “You said you love me.”
“You said it first.” He leaned against the car, with a smile part flirt and part tease.
“I did, huh?” Matt put both hands flat against the roof, caging Robby’s body between them. “Remind me when this happened.”
“At the restaurant. You said this was the first time you’ve ever been in love with someone. Did you think I missed it?” To the contrary, it had rattled around in his head in a near-constant loop ever since.
Matt sucked on his bottom lip. “It’s not like you said anything, and I was acting pretty needy, so…”
Advancing a fraction of an inch, he poked a finger at Matt’s chest. “Stop right there. One.” He held up a finger. “You were not acting needy. You had questions, and they deserved answers.”
A second finger joined the first. “Two. I didn’t say anything because—” He sighed. “I didn’t trust myself to handle it the right way. No one has ever said they loved me before, and it’s like I just froze up for a minute. Then, I didn’t say it back because what if you thought I was just saying it to say it?”
Stupid as the words sounded to his own ears, he could only imagine how dumb they seemed to Matt. Inadequate.
“And even after all my overthinking, I still didn’t do it justice.” He cupped the other man’s face in his hands, feathering his thumbs over the clean-shaven skin. “I love you, Matt York. Not just the best parts of you. Not just the idea of you. You.”
Matt dropped his hands from the car to grip Robby’s hips at the first brush of their mouths.
The intimacy threatened to drown him. Still, he pressed for more, his tongue licking at Matt’s lips, a plea for entry. When the kiss finally deepened, he felt it all the way down to his toes.
Matt pulled away first. “I love you too. God help me, I don’t know what it is you see in me or how I got so lucky, but I’m not going to question it. I’m holding on, you hear me? I’m holding on and I won’t let go.”
Every dream Robby had ever had was coming true. A family. Friends. A calling.
And love.
“Matty.” The light from inside the shop framed Patty as she stood in the doorway. “We need to talk.”
“Coming.” Matt stole one last chaste kiss, then stepped back. “I’ll meet you back at your place in a bit?”
Robby rubbed at the warmth in his chest. “I can’t think of a better way to spend the night.”
In fact, this might just be the best night of his life.
***
Matt
It took every drop of his self-control to walk away from Robby when all Matt really wanted to do was get to the apartment and get skin to skin with the man he loved.
Love.
A little shimmy crept into his walk as he replayed Robby’s confession outside of the car. It seemed inconceivable for him to be the first person to ever tell Robby he loved him. The guy couldn’t have been closer to perfect. Not only was he gorgeous, he was kind and smart and…good.
Maybe all of his paranoia about Robby’s mysterious past was just that—paranoia. Robby dedicated himself to other people and carried his faith close to his heart. Not to mention the amazing things he could do with his body.
Matt’s pulse picked up. Who knew what amazing things Robby would show him tonight? Maybe he’d finally get a glimpse of the rock-hard body his lover kept hidden under all of those clothes.
Oh yeah, he needed to wrap things up with Patty as quickly as possible. Maybe pick up another bouquet of flowers on the way to Robby’s place. He didn’t know whatever happened to the first cluster of daisies, but they’d meant something to Robby, and nothing else mattered.
When he got back inside the shop, Patty stood with Steve and a slender blond man he didn’t recognize. Something about the guy made the hair stand up on the back of his neck.
“Are you sure he’s the same person?” Patty wore the intense, pinched expression she usually saved for a visit from her ultra-conservative Aunt Karen.
“I’m sure,” the blond guy responded. “I’ve known Robby for years. Could describe every nook and cranny of him, if you need me to.”
He did not like the direction this was going. “Excuse me, but who are you?”
Steve looped an arm around the man’s waist. “This is my new boyfriend, Parker.”
The blond pressed a kiss against Steve’s cheek. “I was in the back when you brought Robby in. I couldn’t believe my ears when I heard my buddy out here.”
“Why didn’t you come out and say hello, then?” Something felt off. Maybe it was the way Parker didn’t look him straight in the eye or the conspiratorial tone in his voice.
“Seemed like a private conversation.”
“But not too private for you to eavesdrop.”
Parker’s features tightened. “You want the skinny on your boy or not?”
“From you? No.”
Patty waved her hand. “Excuse me, but I do.”
The smaller man smirked. “Robby Jordan is the dirtiest, sloppy bottom I’ve ever met in my life. The dude can suck cocaine back like a Hoover, and he whored himself without shame for years.”
“You’re lying.” Matt didn’t even have to think about it. This guy had sleazebag written all over him, from his skin-tight jeggings to the pink harness he wore over his white T-shirt.
Parker stuck out his bottom lip. “It would be easier for you if I was, I’m sure. But if I didn’t know Robby, how could I describe the little birthmark he has an inch away from his dick? How he doesn’t make a sound when he comes?”
He had no idea whether the birthmark was a real thing or not, but he’d never admit it to this asshole. “Are you trying to insinuate you’ve had sex with my boyfriend?”
“Not at all.” Parker stepped out of Steve’s embrace and glided toward Matt. “But I’ve seen him get fucked a million ways from Sunday.” He dropped his voice like he was sharing a secret. “At the parties, you know. And, of course, in the home movies.”
Patty advanced. “You said something about drugs? Matt? You know what drugs did to Shawn.”
Parker fanned his face with his hand. “Oh yeah. I can’t tell you everything he did, because I wasn’t there for all of it, but he did mountains of coke when he lived with John. I mean, really, he’d put anything up his nose.”
John. The ex who showed up at the work site.
Still, Matt refused to let doubt trickle into his heart.
Parker shot him a knowing look. “Ah, you’ve heard of John. Amazing in bed, you know, though he didn’t do all the freaky shit Robby did with other guys.” He fluttered his lashes at Steve. “Couldn’t hold a candle to you, though, sweetheart. Still, our Lambchop broke his heart when he left him in the middle of the night. How could you abandon someone after so long together?” Sighing for maximum effect, he lifted his shoulder. “He found some greener pastures, I guess. Though the little apartment he has now leaves something to be desired.”
Matt hardened his heart against the picture Parker painted. “Even if all of what yo
u say is true, and I’m not saying I believe it is, you’re talking about ancient history. Robby broke up with John years ago.” And he refused to believe this douche had seen the inside of Robby’s apartment.
“True.” Parker blinked. “But I saw them together at Nitro not so long ago, and they looked awfully cozy.”
“John wants to get him back. And?”
“He had his hand in Robby’s pants, sugar. Plus, Robby came back again just a few Saturdays back. We did shots in the party room. He got so drunk, I’m still stunned he could walk out of there.”
The day he showed up at Closing Time. Dread pooled in his stomach at the pinched look on Patty’s face.
“The party room? At Nitro?” Steve thundered. “You hang out there? I am not okay with that, Parker. The cops need to shut the place down.”
Wait. He’d been in Nitro, himself, a few weeks ago. Nothing there stood out as anything immoral or illegal. “I don’t understand.”
“Sex. Drugs. Underage boys.” Steve gritted his teeth. “It’s disgusting.”
“I didn’t see anything of the sort, and I’ve been there in the past month.”
Parker soothed Steve, petting his arm. “I didn’t stay, darling. And you didn’t see it, because you didn’t go to the VIP room. Older men, young boys. If you don’t believe me, I’ll take you there myself. See it with your own eyes, and then ask your precious Robby if he was there. Decide what you can live with once you’ve got all the facts.”
“Fine. Let’s go.” He’d show Patty the place wasn’t so bad. Surely, she wouldn’t find fault with Robby just dancing and hanging out with some friends.
“No can do.” Parker tsked. “Back room is only open on Saturdays. I’ll take you there tomorrow, though. Meet me at five, and I’ll help you take your blinders off.”
“Whatever,” he growled.
Patty grabbed his arm as he turned away. “If even half of this shit is true, you know this freak is going nowhere near my son. And if you’re with him, neither are you. I get that you care about Robby, but don’t even try to come back to me making excuses if what Parker says pans out.”