by Kate Meader
“Let me guess. It’s patient. It’s kind.”
“Yes, my cynical uterus-roomie. And neither of us have had a lot of patience or kindness in our lives. What about Theo? I’m guessing you gave him hell and he still came back for more.”
Elle sniffed. “I was awful, Ames! And he was so sweet, all the time. When he paid off George and Dee I was so angry that he’d had to do that, that I’d brought him down to the gutter level we’ve always lived in. And then he shows up doing his white knight act again. In Starbucks!”
Amy offered a napkin.
“Sorry, I’m so hormonal these days.”
Awkward hand pat. Her sister had never been good at the tea and sympathy thing. “So Theo had to get in the dirt to protect what was his. Big deal. In fact, you’re right, it is a big deal. Because it means he’s willing to eliminate any threat to your sanity and the health of you and the baby. Don’t get too mad at him for taking off the gloves. He’s a man in love.”
“With his child.”
“Right. That dino-charm shit is for the kid. This hot hockey dude—and man, he is hot—is crazy about you. All he’s asking is that the two of you work together as a team. Let him help you when you need it because that’s how he expresses his love. And you need to stop thinking all this is your fault for inflicting Mom and Dad on him. He’s a big boy …” Her eyes twinkled. “He is, right?”
“Big enough, you dirty bird.”
Amy smiled. “He made a call to send the ’rents packing and now he’s pulling a Ralphie in A Christmas Story and sending secret Insta messages that you have to decode with your heart.”
“Sure. Instead of ‘Don’t forget to drink your Ovaltine,’ the message is ‘there’s a blueberry-kale smoothie with your name on it, Butler.’”
Was she reading too much into this? Theo couldn’t really expect that she’d see this feed unless it was a test.
She had confessed to being a stalker, though.
She handed back Amy’s phone. “You’re really in love with Jackson, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I am. Do you like him? Say you like him!”
Elle had met the man himself last night at dinner and instantly warmed to him. He had a soothing, Gunnar Bond-like quality she could appreciate. “I like him. And he’s clearly nuts about you.”
Amy smiled. “Thank you for coming to New York to bail me out. I’m so grateful, especially as Mom and Dad had a big payday courtesy of your man and decided I’m not worth the trouble.”
“They’re the worst.”
“They are. But you’re the best. And Theo thinks so, too—when he’s not pissed at you. It’s time you forgave yourself for bringing all this drama to his life and accept that maybe he kind of enjoys it. He’s a bit of a drama queen himself judging by those Insta videos.”
He was. She rubbed a hand over her stomach, contemplating her next move.
The baby kicked hard. “Oh!” She grasped Amy’s hand and placed it over her belly just as Hatch did another karate move.
“He’s going to be a soccer player,” Amy said with a smile. “Or a street thug.”
“If he plays any sports professionally, it’ll be hockey like his dad.” Sadness that Theo wasn’t here to feel this checked her heart. He might not be present, but maybe the baby was his proxy. Letting her know he was still important. But their kid wasn’t the only consideration, was he? Elle had to also think about what was best for her.
Everyone deserves to be happy. Elle had always assumed those well-worn platitudes didn’t apply to a girl like her, not when she had so much work to do saving the world and restoring balance to the universe. Like a Jedi.
Maybe it was time for a break from all that.
If she wanted to make this work with Theo, she needed to accept a few home truths about herself and that universal ledger she’d been working so hard on. She needed to make the decision to be happy.
32
The conference finals are heating up with tonight’s Game 3 in the even series between @ChiRebels and @EdmontonChucks. @HockeyGrrl’s got ya covered!
Morning skate had just finished when Theo’s phone rang with an unrecognizable number. Given that the woman he loved was out of state and not in a hurry to speak with him, he answered immediately. “Hello.”
“Theo?”
His blood froze, his heart not far behind. “Yeah?”
“This is Nick. Nick Isner.”
“Uh huh.”
“So I know you probably don’t want to talk to me, but I wondered if you’re free for, uh, coffee?”
It was a request, so Theo didn’t have to respond. He could hang up right now and go on with his life. For too long, he’d been a doormat, letting his emotions walk all over him. Maybe it would be better to turn off that spigot and become a statue like Hunt.
Which didn’t really explain why an hour later he was sitting in Riverbrook Cafe, playing Candy Crush on his phone (sue him, he was old school), and waiting on his bio-dad to put in an appearance.
The door opened and in walked Nick. He held out his hand. “Theo.”
“Nick.” Theo’s voice had taken on a grown-up, deeper timbre. He shook the offered hand because he might be pissed off and heartbroken, but he wasn’t a dick.
“Can I get you something?” Nick waved in the direction of the counter, and Theo shook his head. “Do you mind if I …?”
“Go caffeinate. You’re gonna need it.”
Nick’s eyebrows rose, but he didn’t comment. A few minutes later, he was back with his doctored coffee, again asking if it was okay for him to sit. All this deference was doing Theo’s head in. Was this where he got his politeness gene from?
“Surprised to hear from me, I bet.” Nick looked sheepish.
“Not really. Figured you’d see the light eventually if I made a finals run.”
Nick shook his head, like it was too soon to joke about it. Not that Theo was joking.
“I screwed up, Theo. You know I did. All I could see was what I might lose instead of what I would gain. You’ve done so well and I haven’t had a single thing to do with it.”
“Got that right.” The words sounded tired even though true.
“Could we start over? I’m not asking for cookouts and fishing trips. I’d just like to get to know you and maybe, if you’re open to the idea, introduce you to your brothers.”
Theo’s heart leaped. Now we’re talking. “Do they know about me?”
“Not yet. I didn’t want to get their hopes up in case this doesn’t work out. I don’t want to put them in the middle of a negative situation if I can help it.” He shook his head. “Yeah, I know this situation is of my own making, but I’m trying to do something to rectify it. Even if we can’t move to the next level, maybe you could get to know Sean and Jason.”
Theo scrunched up his mouth. “I feel like this is really a scam to get playoff tickets.”
Nick’s eyes blew wide. “It’s not, honestly!” At Theo’s tilted head, he realized that his oldest son was trying to make light of the moment. “Oh, humor.”
“I’m a funny guy. Clearly didn’t get it from you.”
“No. Candy was the funny one.” His mouth twisted in remembered pain, and a moment of recognition passed between them. Sometimes, Theo really missed his mom. “We were dumb kids. Not that it’s an excuse for how I behaved then or later.”
Theo wasn’t sure what to say to that. Kids made stupid decisions all the time. Adults, too.
“I’ve no doubt you’ll do a better job,” Nick said, “especially with a woman like Elle supporting you. She’s something else.”
“She is.” Theo wasn’t going to get into his problems with Nick just yet.
Just yet? Was he seriously considering letting the guy off the hook? Surely he should punish him for a little longer. He wasn’t even certain he wanted a relationship with his father. He’d done just fine without him—Elle was right about that. But he did want to get to know his brothers and that gnawing ache decided it for him.
“Okay, Nic
k. Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m not going to make it easy on you. But I’d like to meet my brothers and as I have to go through you to get to them, I guess that makes you and the little dudes a package deal. I’ll be monitoring the situation to see if you come up to my lofty standards. In the meantime, you can break the joyful tidings to your other sons and ask them if they’d like to hang with me. And don’t even think of forcing them!”
Nick’s smile was wry, just like his own. “They’ll want to meet you.”
“Why? Because I’m a famous hockey player? Maybe they’ll hate the idea. Maybe they’ll be pissed at you for keeping this a secret for so long. Don’t assume you know how people will react.” He’d thought he was doing the best thing, removing Elle’s parents from her life and fixing her sister’s problem. Showed what he knew. “But whenever they’re ready—if ever they’re ready—I’d love to get to know them. Is the lady Isner in the loop?”
“The lady—oh, right.” He nodded. “She’s not too pleased.”
“Well, I don’t want to do anything to piss her off.”
“She’s not pleased with me because of how I handled this. You’re blameless in all of this, Theo. She wants to meet you. Again.”
Theo let that sink in. He wished Elle was here so he could run it by her. “What made you decide to reach out today? I haven’t exactly been responsive.”
Nick lowered his gaze, focused on his coffee cup. “I’ve been thinking of you a lot, though I know you don’t believe me. What your girlfriend said when we met and then again, when she called—”
“Called? Elle called you?”
Nick looked up. “Yes. She called me yesterday. Told me that meeting your brothers was important to you, and I thought that even if you and I can’t repair what’s broken, then I could make that much right. Give them a chance to know the fine man you’ve become.”
Holy shit, Elle had fixed this? She knew how important family was to him and she’d made this happen. His heart ached. He wanted to send her a text of thanks but mostly, he needed to know she was okay.
“Theo.” Casey, Harper’s assistant, put her head around the locker room door. “You have visitors.”
“Be right there.” He put his hockey stick and tape down on the bench, then headed out to the corridor.
Nick Isner was here with Jason and Sean.
“Hey, guys!” Ignoring Nick, Theo addressed himself to the boys. “You made it!”
Two nights ago, Theo had spent dinner with the Isners at their house in Andersonville on Chicago’s north side. Awkward at first, but no one knew better than Theo how to navigate awkward. Lady Isner was all brittle smiles, but Theo gave her top marks for making the effort (and her stellar eggplant lasagna). Thirty minutes in, he was speaking the universal language of teenage boys—video games—and inviting them to a playoffs game. Easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy.
“Are you ready?” Sean asked. At fourteen, he was more serious than his younger brother and the one Theo had worried about the most. A Mathlete and a fan of statistics, he’d wowed Theo with game analysis that blew everyone’s minds.
“As I’ll ever be. Assuming Coach even puts me in.”
Sean nodded gravely. “Your plus-minus for the last four games has not been great.”
“Sean,” Nick warned.
Theo laughed at his brother’s honesty and put out his fist for the bump. “No, he’s right. I need to do better. Seats are good, right?” he asked Jason.
“Amazing. Right behind the bench. You could turn and see us.” Jason shrugged. “If you’re not too busy.”
“Definitely! Might need some encouragement if we’re not doing well.” He looked over their heads at Nick. “Thanks for coming tonight.”
Nick nodded and said with fake cheer, “Thanks for inviting us!”
Okay, then. It was going to take a while to iron that out. Maybe he’d have a relationship with Nick one day. For now, Jason and Sean were his primary focus, at least until the baby put in an appearance.
Elle had texted him today, letting him know she was back in town. He appreciated the heads-up and prayed that they could be, at minimum, friends. Wasn’t that what he’d wanted from her in the first place? So he’d ended up with more than he bargained for—a hatchling and a hurting heart—but he had zero regrets about making a move on her one chilly Christmas Eve.
The final call was made. “Gotta go! If you scream my name, I might hear it, so don’t be shy.” A couple of closing fist bumps sent them on their way.
In the line before heading into the tunnel, Gunnar nudged him. “You okay?”
“My dad’s here. With my brothers.”
“Thought you were an only child.”
“It’s a long story.”
Gunnar side-eyed him. “Just one long soap opera, Kershaw. No one could ever accuse you of being a half-measures kind of guy.”
Theo supposed not. He tended to go overboard, letting his emotions rule and not really thinking things through. Maybe he should have been more patient with Elle, who was a thinker with a different way of processing things. But he couldn’t apologize for loving her and his kid too much. All he could do was make every call from his heart.
33
The puck was moving fast tonight, or maybe Theo was moving slow. Coach called him off the line for the shift change after he flubbed his third pass of the evening.
“Sorry, Coach,” Theo said as he took what he expected would be an extended break on the bench.
“Kershaw,” Coach said tiredly. Just one word, a shitload of censure.
Burnett was still on. Usually they worked the line together, but he was having a great game, having covered up for a multitude of Theo’s sins. Teamwork.
He never wanted to hear that word again.
“Come on, Theo!” That sounded like Jason who was sitting with his brother and Nick about five rows up—close enough to the bench but not obstructed every time the players stood to scream at some ridiculous decision by the stripes.
Theo knew he was letting them down, but shit, he couldn’t get it together. He needed Elle. A text wasn’t enough. He needed to see her and know she was safe.
Gunnar came off and sat beside him. “Good work, man.” Coach should really be putting Bond in more. The guy was a beast out there and they did much better with him playing than not.
“Go, Theo!”
Jason again. Theo turned and smiled, giving him a wave.
Gunnar grinned. “Your brother?”
“Yeah. He’s loud, like me.”
“Just wait until your kid comes along. Loud doesn’t describe it.”
The Chucks Dimitri Kasparov high-sticked Travis and didn’t get called for it. The whole bench stood to protest, but Travis had the advantage, and … no score.
They all sat again.
“You okay, Kershaw?” Gunnar asked, eyes still on the ice.
“Not having a good night. Or week. Missing Elle.”
Theo watched as Burnett smothered the puck and jammed it down the line.
“Aurora’s in good form.” Gunnar jabbed his stick at the jumbotron.
Theo tended to ignore it because it usually had some embarrassing booty shaking (Aurora) or ridiculous kiss cam stuff (Aurora, again). And yep, there she was in that dumb jacket, along with Dottie and Angelique, the co-founders of Theo’s Tarts.
To which they’d added a new member.
If he’d trusted his legs wouldn’t turn to jelly, he’d have shot to his feet to salute the newbie to the crew. Elle-oh-Elle, Corporal Cupcake, Mother of Hatchlings, cheering so loudly he swore he could hear her.
She twirled in one of those pink jackets, that ridiculous “Thirsty for Theo” message on the back now front and center. It was silly but the words sent joy overflowing the brim of his heart.
They’re here, the woman and child I love.
His chest grew tight, his throat burned, and his heart made a spectacular effort to escape his rib cage and crash the net. Goal! Elle knew how important it was to him
to have his child at the game. She might not want anything to do with him specifically, but having his kid in the house meant the world and she understood that. But it was more that that. She was here, claiming him in that dumb jacket.
Coach loomed over him with a clipboard. “Kershaw, if I put you in, could you try to fucking pay attention and actually do what we pay you for?”
“Pretty sure you’re not signing the checks, Coach.” An uncommon burst of humor from their captain, Petrov, was followed by an even more uncommon wink of solidarity from the big Russian.
“Yeah, I’ll do better, Coach. Promise.”
Coach shook his head, like putting Theo in was his funeral or something. They called the shift change and Theo bounded over the boards and onto the ice.
He had work to do.
The locker room was nuts after the game, which they’d won 4-3 in overtime. Reporters, team staff, players, a couple of people he didn’t recognize, but no sign of either Elle or Aurora.
Harper stopped by and squeezed his arm. “Good game, Theo. Glad to see you back in the hunt.”
“Thanks, Ms. Chase. You haven’t seen my grandmother, have you?”
She shook her head and turned to walk away. A second later she spoke over her shoulder. “Could you go to Coach Calhoun’s office?”
“Now?”
Her eyes flashed with humor. “Yes, Theo. Now.”
Oh, got it. “Thanks, Ms. Chase.”
“It’s Harp—” But he was already out the door, fighting the tide of people holding him back from his future.
“Excuse me. Need to get through here. Sorry, can’t talk.” Finally he made it and crashed through the door of Coach’s office.
Elle stood there, leaning against the big desk, her hands laced below her stomach. It had only been four days but that bump had to be bigger. His baby was growing like a weed.
“You’re here.”
She was a vision of womanhood, her dark hair loose over her shoulders, her blue eyes warm and glowing. That pink jacket looked good on her, too, though it barely covered those gorgeous breasts, which also seemed to have swelled in size. (In his professional opinion.)