One might believe that it couldn’t have been any worse. But soon enough, the situation became even more dire than before, once Julie was born. He was thirteen when his little sister came to the world and messed things up for him, as he considered the situation back then. From then on, he had to split the food with an extra member of the family, whether he liked it or not. Even though most of the so-called “food” that he had to eat daily at best and every three days at worst was no joy for his taste buds, it was all that was keeping him and his mom and dad alive, and the thought of sharing it with someone else was not to his liking. At first, he despised his little sister, not only because he had to start sharing food with her when mom finally weaned her, but also because she used to cry a lot, most of the times at night, keeping him and his parents awake. Sometimes, she used to cry for hours and hours in a row, not letting any of them rest properly. In vain mom used to try and calm her down by singing her or rocking her in her arms. She just kept on crying and screaming like a siren which, he remembered, used to scare him a lot when he and his parents were walking with him on the streets of Boston, before The Alignment. Other times, she used to start crying when he and his parents were having the most peaceful sleep in the world. Just when his dreams couldn’t have been any better, “the human siren,” as he used to call his little sister, would wake up herself from a long, peaceful sleep and start waking everybody up.
But, in time, he learned to love his little sister. When she started growing older, her sweet little eyes and her killer smile were sometimes enough for him to consider a bad day repaired. And when she started to learn how to walk, sometimes he would volunteer to hold her arms while she was learning the intricate art of putting one foot in front of the other. From there to taking an oath that he will protect his little sister against any sort of danger whatsoever was just a step.
And, to his joy, there were days when they would stumble upon a welcoming town in their way, whose leader would welcome them inside and gave them a decent meal, which was far from the maggots and tree bark that they sometimes had to eat. And so he learned that, even after The Alignment, there were some people who still had a drop of kindness in them and they were willing to help their fellow man while asking nothing in return. Most of the times, they would get nothing more than boiled vegetables to eat, but there were occasions when their host would delight their senses with a fried chicken or rabbit. And a simple “thank you” in return was enough for the decent folks who made their day better by not letting them starve to death.
“Thomas! Thomas!” Steve suddenly said.
Thomas shook his head.
“Yeah, did you say something?”
“Yes, I did. I said how would you like your venison cooked?”
“Oh, well… it doesn’t matter for me, Steve. I’m not picky. Anyway Martha would like to cook it, it’s just fine for me.”
“You got it, sir,” Martha said, from the kitchen doorway.
“A modest man. Some might even call you a saint.”
“Oh, no, Steve. I’m no saint. I have my sins. Saints are people with no sins. But I got tons of those. No, Steve. I’m just a simple man trying to live in a complicated world, that’s all.”
“Then, surely, you must be a hero. Because, in the world today, people are split into two categories, son. Scoundrels and heroes. And you sure as hell don’t strike me as a scoundrel.”
“I’m afraid I’m gonna have to argue with you on that too, Steve. There’s no such thing as a hero. Not anymore. And, if you ask me, the world today is not split between scoundrels and heroes. It’s split between scoundrels and people who are trying to survive. That’s all.”
“Yes, but, you see, son, nowadays, a man who survives is a hero. A simple man, all on his own, on the road, is suddenly attacked by rebels or other kind of thugs. They think they have the upper hand, because he is all alone and, in theory, he wouldn’t stand a chance against all of them. But, suddenly, he draws a knife out and, through sheer will, determination, grit, and the willingness to live, he takes all of them down, one by one. And then, he puts his knife back in the sheath and keeps going. The very fact that he managed to survive a gruesome attack and lived to tell the tale makes him a hero. Wouldn’t you agree with me, son?”
Thomas sighed.
“Yes, Steve, I believe I do.”
“And let me ask you something else,” Steve continued. “If you would hear a man asking for help, would you go and help him?”
“Yes, I believe I would.”
“That is another thing that makes you a hero. Stepping in front of danger to save your neighbor, having the will to defend him, to make sure that he survives, that he stays alive for another day… that’s what makes a hero, son. And from what I could see, that’s a quality that you have in you. After all, you did save your sister from a certain death.”
“Well, she is my sister.”
“When it comes to some people, it could have been their mother. They would not have cared. But when it comes to you, that’s not the case. There are very few decent folks remaining in this world nowadays, kid. Sometimes you have to wander for days to find them. People these days care about themselves and themselves only. They don’t care about their neighbor. They don’t give a damn about a poor fellow not having anything to eat, drink or put on. No, sir. They put themselves higher than the needs of their close ones. Decency is dead, son. The Alignment took it away from us. People like you… are rare. Mark my words, son. You are one of a kind, I tell you. One of a kind.”
“Well, Steve, if you say so…”
“And there’s something else I have to argue with you about. You said saints are people who don’t have any sins. That’s not true, kid. Saints are people who have sins, but they regret them and they repent for them. That’s the definition of a saint. There’s no such thing as a man without any sins, especially nowadays. We all sin, kid. It’s in our nature. It’s unavoidable. But very few of us have the decency to repent and to compensate for them. Those who do just that… those people are called “saints.”
Thomas was quiet for a few moments.
“I do have my sins, Steve. I do. But I don’t regret them. If it’s a sin to kill somebody in order to defend yourself from them, if making love to the person you care about before the wedding is a sin, if cursing when the situation is bad for you is a sin, then by God, I regret nothing. Not now, not ever. And I believe that makes me the opposite of a saint.”
“You may not think about yourself as a saint, son, and maybe you are not. But you are a good man. A good man whose life took him on bad paths, that’s all.”
“You know nothing about my life, Steve.”
“I know about your family. And your town. Simon told me everything.”
Thomas looked at Simon, who raised his eyebrow in response to his gaze.
“He told me how the rebels burned your town to ashes, killed everybody in it, and crucified your wife and son, to send you a message. I imagine you want revenge for that, and that’s understandable. You wanna kill the rebel leader, to avenge your family. But trust me when I tell you that killing the perpetrator will not make your pain and your lust for vengeance go away. Quite the opposite. Let’s say you will kill the bastard that did this to you. Then what? You know what’s gonna happen? You’ll be looking for another face in the crowd to kill, another rebel leader to slay. And then another one, and another one, and another one, and so on, until you will be too old to be able to hold a gun in your hand. That’s what’s gonna happen.”
“Are you saying I should let this go?”
“No, son. I’m saying you shouldn’t let your anger and lust for vengeance get a grip on you. Because if you’re not careful, that’s what’s gonna happen. And once it does, there’s no turning back.”
After about ten seconds of silence, Thomas said:
“I do have a sin I regret.”
“And what’s that, if I may ask?”
“Twenty years ago, I had no choice but to leave my mom
and dad and let them fight the rebels alone. They made me go, but… it doesn’t change the fact that I abandoned them to the enemy. It doesn’t change the fact that they died because of me. The guilt of leaving them will follow me to the grave.”
“You don’t have to feel guilty for that, Thomas. You said it yourself… they made you go. I imagine it was because they wanted to know you’d be safe and not share their fate. Now that is something I like to call parentally love.”
Thomas said nothing. He only sighed.
Martha came from the kitchen.
“Dinner is ready.”
“Now that’s good news,” Simon said.
“Finally. I was starving,” Steve said.
The three of them got up from the couch and headed toward the kitchen. When they got in, they felt the most beautiful smell ever.
“Now that smells delicious,” Thomas said.
“Wait until you taste it,” Steve said. “It’s then that the compliments to my wife will really begin. Right, honey?”
Steve hugged Martha and kissed her on the forehead.
“All right, sit down, everyone!” Martha said.
The three complied. They pulled their chairs and they sat down at the table. Martha put plates and cutlery in front of them, before eventually putting venison and corn onto everyone’s plate. After that, she sat at the table herself.
“Thomas,” she said, “would you like to say grace?”
“Well, Martha, to tell you the truth, I’m not a very religious man. I don’t know any prayers.”
“Oh, come on. It’s easy. All you have to do is praise the Lord for the food in front of you. How hard can that be?”
“Why should I praise the Lord for the food in front of me, if you’re the one who cooked it?”
Simon, Steve and Martha laughed.
“Because thanks to Him, I had something to cook for you today. He made the corn grow and filled the woods with venison that my husband and I could hunt. That’s why.”
“It’s okay, Martha. I’ll say grace,” Steve said. “Let’s hold hands, everyone!”
The four grabbed each other’s hands and lowered their heads.
“Dear Lord, we thank you for this plentiful meal in front of us today. We thank you for a bountiful crop and a successful hunt. We also thank you for the people that will eat with us today. Thank you for giving us the chance to help those in need. Amen!”
“Amen!”
Then, everybody started eating.
“Wow, this is really good,” Thomas said.
“I told you my wife can cook,” Steve said.
Thomas entered Julie’s room with a tray of food. Julie was sleeping. He entered her room carefully, to avoid waking her up. He slowly closed the door and started tip-toeing through the room. He put the tray on the night stand and then tried to sneak out of the room. But just as he was about to open the door again, Julie turned toward him and opened her eyes.
“What is it, Thomas?” she asked him.
“Oh, you’re awake,” Thomas said.
“Yeah, I just woke up. What smells so good?”
“Look behind you and you’ll see.”
Julie turned and she saw the food tray with the venison and corn in it.
“Wow, that looks delicious,” she said.
“It is delicious. I just had some myself, and I can vouch for the cook. Go on, taste it. You’ll see I’m right.”
Julie yawned.
Maybe later. Now I’m not hungry.”
She tried to sit up, but when she moved upwards, she groaned in pain and put her hand on her wound. Thomas sat on the bed next to her.
“Are you okay?” Thomas asked.
“Yeah, it’s just the wound. It hurts like hell.”
“Yeah, well, you were lucky. You lost a lot of blood. I had to run for miles with you in my arms until we found this place. We were lucky we did find it. If not, you would be dead.”
Julie looked at him.
“Thank you, Thomas!”
“Hey, you’re my little sister. I would never let anything bad happen to you. We’re family. And families protect themselves. I took an oath a long time ago that I would never let anything bad happen to you. And oaths are meant to be respected.”
“The owners of the cabin… did they ask for anything in return for our stay here?”
“No, Julie. They… they are the kindest people I’ve met, besides mom and dad. The kind of people that would give you their coats to keep you warm. The rarest type of people nowadays. You have no idea how lucky we are to have met them.”
“Yeah, I imagine so,” Julie said.
“What’s the matter, Julie?” Thomas asked.
“How long, Thomas?”
“How long what?”
“How long will we have to keep running from the rebels, Thomas? How long will we have to hide? How long will we have to hide? How long will we have to fight for our lives? How long will we have to be on the road?”
She started crying. She put her hands on her face. Thomas hugged her.
“How long will we have to depend on strangers? How long will we have to eat whatever we find? How long, Thomas? How long?”
Thomas started petting her on her head.
“I don’t know, Julie. I don’t know, unfortunately. It’s one of those questions the universe refuses to provide an answer to.”
“I’m tired, Thomas. I’m so tired of everything. I’m tired of the killings. I’m tired of the death all around me. I’m tired of eating all sorts of shit so I won’t starve to death. I’m tired of relying on strangers I know nothing about. I’m tired, Thomas. I’m tired of this whole fucking world and everything it stands for. I can’t take it anymore. I just can’t. Sometimes all I want is just kill myself and end everything.”
Thomas grabbed her by the shoulders and looked her in the eyes.
“No, Julie. That’s not an option. That’s never an option. That’s the coward’s way out. Promise me you’ll never do this. Promise me! Promise me!”
“Okay, I promise,” Julie said, with a weak voice.
“Twenty years ago, when the people of Fullerton welcomed us into their community, I thought this life finally ended. I thought… no more eating maggots, no more having to worry about the rebels, no more wandering on the endless road, with no direction… We would finally have a life of our own. And, for a while, it seemed like I was right. For a while, it seemed like we finally belonged somewhere, in a welcoming community, where everybody was doing his part for a living. I was happy. When I saw the whole town engulfed in flames, I realized that my happiness was over. I knew that I would go back to the dark ages of my childhood. Back on the endless road, having to eat God knows what in order to survive, running, hiding, firing the weapon in order to stay alive… and above all, my chances of having a family of my own ruined. I hate my life, Thomas. I hate it. And I doubt I’ll ever find happiness again.”
“You’ll find it, Julie. You’ll find it. Every man does, no matter the circumstances. Every cloud, no matter how dark, has a silver lining. Remember that.”
***
Thomas was climbing down the stairs, when Martha came at their lower end.
“How is she?” she asked Thomas.
“She is fine. She just needs some rest and some encouragement. Her wound still hurts, but other than that, she is just peachy.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear that.”
Thomas took a few steps.
“You know, Martha, this means a lot to me. And her, especially. Thank you again for saving her life. We both appreciate it.”
“It’s been my pleasure, Thomas,” Martha said, with a smile on her face.
“And thank you for receiving us into your house, even though you knew nothing about us. As far as you were concerned, we could have been all sorts of people of the ugly kind, from thieves to killers or, worse, even rebels. But you decided to let go of your precautions and welcome us into your house. Which is no small thing, nowadays. And for that, we tha
nk you. You have no idea how much this means to us.”
“Well, to tell you the truth, we saw you with Simon. And that’s how we knew you’re not the bad kind of people. But your welcome.”
Dark Apocalypse: A Post-Apocalyptic Family Saga Page 26