by Lauren Wood
Nervous as I was about everything, I wanted to see the episode. I wanted to hear what was said and what kind of video they got. Most of the time we didn't even know when they were around, so it was rather surprising to see what they got pictures of. This week we were still trying to work things out and figure out where we were. They had taped an outing that I had with one of my friends and of course then the sound bite of me questioning everything. I was still questioning everything, but at that time I was even more confused.
I could feel Danny's eyes on me and I knew that he was a little upset about what I’d said.
“So, you weren't sure if you wanted to be married to me?”
“Come on Danny, you already knew that. It was rough in the beginning and I didn’t know what to think about it all. I was trying to figure it all out in my head.”
“I know. It's just hard to hear it I guess.”
We were quiet for a while watching the show and it was strange to see me on the TV. It was really weird and I didn't like it at all. The last thing I wanted was for everyone to see me like that and to see how desperately in love with Danny I was. I know that I wasn't going to change my mind that week that was airing at the moment, but soon there would be a change.
The rest of the show had a lot more of the other couples on it and we got to see two of them break up for good. There was a lot of yelling and screaming, something that me and Danny had never done. While I didn't like some of the sound bites and the way they were twisting things, it actually looked like me and Danny were one of the couples that was actually going to make it.
Beyond all the feuds and everything, the show also had expert relationship advisors that they wanted us to meet with. I hadn’t met with them yet, but apparently there was no need. They knew enough about me and Danny that they could give their opinion.
“I wouldn't say that they are the strongest couple here. It looks like they are starting a relationship on a basis of lies. That can obviously come back to haunt them later.”
I couldn’t believe these people. They never met us, knew nothing about us and had the nerve to say that we wouldn’t last. How did they know.
“Can you believe them?”
I was listening to the relationship advisor on the TV and I just kind of shoved Danny. Our relationship was started on lies and they didn't even know the fact that we had been together the night before. The show hadn’t known that me and Danny kind of knew each other and that we have been together before. That was another thing that could come out and destroy everything that we had worked on for so long.
“I guess I can. I mean, it is a lot different when they're looking at it from the outside. They haven't seen everything that is going on between us, but even if they did, I don't know if they would change your opinion.”
“You're talking like you don't think we should be together.”
“I wouldn't say that Danny, but this isn't a match made in heaven either. You have to understand that. I honestly can’t believe that we’re still on the show. We have broken pretty much every rule there is to break.”
“I told you that I would do everything I could to keep us on the show. I know it is important to you and I know that you want your restaurant, so I will say and do whatever you want me to.”
I waved him off because he didn't seem to understand. I didn't want him to say or do anything. I just wanted him to be himself. I wanted him to be the man that I'd fallen for and for me to be the only one that was with him. It didn't feel like it was too much to ask. He was my husband and I wanted him to be only mine.
I had expected the airing to be so much worse than it was. I expected a bombshell like the first episode where they had made up a bunch of stuff. I was ready for it, my body was steeled for it and then it never came. So instead, I was all worked up for nothing.
But there was a little sneak-peak for the next week that bothered me. Once again it was a tape of my husband with Elaine. This one was a little more intimate, because they were at a restaurant together and then left together, but I knew that her dad was there as well. That part was left out. They were trying their best to try and create controversy and they were admittedly doing a good job of it.
“Well I can't say that I'm looking forward to next week.”
I had to agree, but at the same time I wanted to see what was said and done. Whether it was right or wrong, I still needed to know what the rest of the world was seeing.
“At least we'll find out what they have come up with this time. There really is no telling with them. The producers are rather imaginative. I will give them that.”
Chapter 94
Danny
The last thing I wanted to do was making things harder for my wife, but I knew that I had to do something. The board of directors was breathing down my neck to figure out how I could get out of the show. In one way, I didn't want them to be able to tell me what to do, but in the other way, I knew that I didn't have a choice.
I had to bring it up to Deirdre and I wasn't sure how it was going to work out. I would actually offer her the money that she would get if we finished the show, but I knew that she wasn't going to want it. Deirdre was a strong and independent woman with a lot of pride. That meant that she didn't want anybody to take it away, especially not me.
So, I waited until the third viewing. We still hadn’t been together physically again, and it was starting to drive me crazy. It was strange living with a woman and wanting to touch her so badly, but not being able to. It was once again a situation that I’d never found myself in before. That seemed to be the way things were with her. Everything that I wanted, was so hard to come by.
We were sitting down about to watch the show as it started, and I took a big breath. I had to tell her what my plans were. I didn't know if she was going to forgive me or not, but I knew that I had to be clear with her. I didn't want her to find out in the newspapers or on a talk show like she had before.
“I think we're going to have to leave the show Deirdre.”
She wasn't expecting that, and she looked over at me a little surprised. “What do you mean, leave the show?”
“I mean that the show is starting to affect my job. The board of directors wants me to quit Runaway Bride and if I don't, they’re going to take away my CEO position. To my own company.”
I paused for a minute to see her reaction and it was one of shock. I had known that this was going to happen at some point, but I didn't think that she had thought about it. She was so invested in this show because of the money, but I wanted to remind her again that she didn't need it. I had more than enough for both of us and whatever restaurant or any other type of business that she wanted to start it.
“You told me that you were in this with me.”
“And I am, but you have to understand that it hasn’t been all that easy for me. My board is threatening me, and I would just let it go, if they didn’t have a cause that could actually be contested in court. It’s hard to understand this, but my job is worth more than the prize at the end of it. I have to run my own company and I won’t be able to if we stay in this show. I will give you the money.”
She was with me until I mentioned the money and just giving it to her. I knew that she didn’t want to hear it, but it had to be said. I wanted it all to work out between us and this way she wouldn’t have to wait for what she wanted. It had been a few months now. It had been long enough.
“You hate watching these shows, just as much as I do. Why don’t we just save ourselves and end this.”
“You really don’t get it, do you? I don’t want your money. I want to earn it myself and to start up a restaurant that is mine. No one will be able to say anything because I will have no loan hanging over my head.”
“You’re my wife Deirdre, nothing is going to be held over your head.”
“I want to believe you, but I don’t.”
“Diedre, you are worth way more in a divorce. The money is yours already. There was no pre-nup, so all of my fortune is o
n the line. You would get half of it and that’s way more than a million.”
I know that she was thinking about my words, but at the same times I could see that my words weren’t helping anything. If anything, she was getting more irratated. The show was about to go on and I wanted to turn it off because it was only going to make things worse.
“Why don’t we go out and talk about this? I don’t want to watch this Diedre.”
“I don’t want to watch it either, but I have to. You know, that right?”
I did, and I knew that it was because she wanted to know what everyone else knew, so that she wouldn’t be put on the spot like she was before. I felt bad about it all, but there was little hope that this night would be uneventful.
“Yes, I suppose I do.”
The show started, and we sat back on the couch. I didn’t want to watch it, I really didn’t, and I quickly wished that we hadn’t. The show was taking some very liberal creative decision making and my wife wasn’t happy about it. More footage of Elaine was used. Not because it was new, but they were trying to tag me with her.
When I went to a reproductive hospital and it made it seem like it was right after a conversation I had with the woman. I remembered that meeting from months ago, thinking she had been acting strange that day. Now I was starting to see that it was all because of the show. They’d had this planned out ahead of time.
Deirdre looked over at me and her mouth was open. She couldn’t believe it and I couldn’t fathom why she would trust what she just saw. Nothing was said until the credits ran.
“You’re right Danny. We need to get off that show, now.”
I was relieved. “That’s the best idea I’ve heard all day. We can get you started with the restaurant as soon as you want. I have had a friend look into some properties to rent. It’s going to be great.”
She nodded her head, but she didn’t meet my gaze. I’d gotten my way and she had agreed, so why did I feel like something was going to happen? Something bad.
Chapter 95
Deirdre
“Do you want to tell me what this is?”
It was bound to happen. I knew that my lawyer was going to get ahold of Danny eventually, but I still didn't like the expression on his face. Nothing had been the same since the show aired the first time, but things have settled down. After the third show when we decided that we were going to leave the competition altogether, I knew that things were going to change a lot more.
“What do you mean?”
“You know damn well what I mean Deirdre. These are divorce papers!”
“Yes, they are. I thought you would understand what the point of that was. We are obviously going to get divorced.”
“Why is that obvious?”
“The whole point of being married with to get the money. That was the whole reason I got on to the gameshow to begin with. I didn't think that I'd actually get a lasting marriage out of it. So, this is the next step. You wanted to get out of it, so you're out of it now. All you have to do is sign on the dotted lines.”
“I meant to end the show, not the marriage.”
It was one of those times that he was saying all the right things and at this moment, it really made me mad. He made it all seem like everything was perfect, but it wasn't. It was a mess and even though we had left the gameshow and he had somehow managed to get them to remove us from any other show that were going to air, it didn't mean that all of it had gone away. I was going to have to deal with this for a while to come.
“The marriage was the show Danny. This is real life and I need to get back to mine and I’m sure you’ll be more than happy to get back to yours.”
He started to come towards me and I knew that he wanted to pull me close and change my mind. The fact was that he was too damn good at it and I needed to keep my distance. There was nothing else I could do at this point, but I kept my distance and hoped that I didn't break down completely when it was all said and done. The last thing I wanted was a divorce, but this wasn’t a real marriage. I hated to think about it, but Elaine had been right when she’d said it.
“I love you Deirdre and I know that you love me. Why are you fighting this?”
“I'm not fighting this. I have just came to accept it. There is a big difference between the two and there is nothing wrong with finally understanding that this was a mistake.”
“You don't mean that.”
“I do. We don't even know each other. We just got thrown in together and now it's time to be real. I will only ask for the money I was going to get from the show. You have agreed to that. I know that you say I can get more out of you, but I don't want it. I just want my restaurant.”
“You can have your restaurant. You can have ten restaurants Deirdre and you don't have to divorce me because of it. I will give you whatever it is that you want.”
He just didn't get it. He didn't understand that I wanted to make it myself and because of that there was no talking to him. For a moment I thought that there was something real between us, but I had learned very quickly that it was all a ruse.
“What I want is a divorce Danny. If you really care about me, then give me what I want. “
I left the room and hoped that he would listen to me. I didn't want to have this conversation because it hurt too much. Thinking about leaving was bad enough, but knowing that I had to finally go was even worse. I was supposed to have left a week ago, but I kept waiting. I don't know what I was waiting for, but now I couldn't wait any longer. It was time to go whether I wanted to or not.
After Danny went to work, I packed all my stuff up and went back to my apartment. It was strange to be back after being gone for so long, but it was exactly how I left it. I had tidied up last time I was here but that was over a month ago. Now it was all foreign to me and I got a little homesick.
The more I thought about everything, the more upset I got, so I tried to forget about it. It was all happening. It was out of my hands now. The marriage was a farce and it was time to end it. I was the stupid one that had fallen in love. That was my own fault.
Chapter 96
Danny
After she gave me the divorce papers, I came home that evening and she was gone. I had known that she would be, but the realization that she had actually left was a lot harder than I had realized it would be. She was gone. My wife was gone and now she was trying to make it, so that she wasn’t in my life anymore. There were so many things that were wrong with that.
My lawyer called a couple of times, wanting to know what I wanted to do. I would give her whatever it is she wanted is what I told him, but as the days went by and the court date loomed, I started to have a change of heart. Deirdre was gone, and I wanted her back in my life. I didn't want to waste my time thinking about what it was going to be like without her. I'd never been one to accept what the world gave me. This time wasn’t going to be any different.
This time, I'm just going to have to force my will onto the universe. It wouldn’t be the first time that I had to do it and it certainly wouldn't be the last. Of everything that I have fought for, I knew that the most important thing was my wife. I didn't want to be without Deirdre. It was just a simple.
I tried to get a hold of her to talk this all through, but she did not make it easy. Not only had she changed her number, but she had also changed her residence. When I finally got up the nerve to go over to our apartment and talk to her, someone else had answered the door. She had apparently rented the place out and the other person told me that she didn't know where Deirdre was. Whether that was true or not, I didn't really know. All that came out of it, was the fact that I couldn't talk to her and I couldn't straighten it out.
I was running out of options and in the end, I had to wait until the actual court date to speak to her. I saw her outside waiting for our name to be called and then I was finally able to pull her to the side.
“Danny what are you doing?”
“I need to talk to you Deirdre. This has gone too far. You have bee
n impossible to get ahold of, so I have to do this here and now.”
Her eyes flitted around and I had no idea what she was looking for. Was she looking for someone to help her?
“Do it here? They are about to call us Danny. We need to be standing here when they call us Danny. The lawyer was very clear about that. Said he didn’t want me running off.”
“They can wait a few minutes.”
“I know that you think your money buys everything, but it doesn't Danny. They are not going to wait a minute for us, because you have a little bit of money to throw around.”
“I have a lot more than a little bit. But I want to talk to you and the worst that they can do is charge me with contempt. I'll spend a couple of nights in jail if that's what it takes, for you to hear me out.”
She was not happy to see me that much was clear, but she finally agreed to listen whether she wanted to or not. If that was all that I was going to get, I was going to have to take it and run with it.
“I don't want to get divorced. I know that we don't know each other that well, but I know enough. I know that I love you and I have never felt the way I do about anybody. You are the only woman I've ever loved, and I can't just let you walk away. How could I let you divorce me, when is the very last thing that I want? We were meant to be together. I know that sounds cliché as hell, but it’s true. That’s why people say it.”
“You are just telling me this now?”
“I have been telling you this whole time, but you don't listen. You're quite hard headed that way. I don't know if you know that or not, but you are. If you would've just listened to me before, none of this would've happened. I know that you want things to be a certain way, but there not. It is better this way. With us together. Why does it matter what the magazines or experts say? They don’t know us Deirdre.”