by Lauren Wood
Scott looked at me a little strange and I had no idea what was going on in his mind. My worry was guilt about what happened between me and his father in the past. And he somehow knew that I knew him, but I didn't want that to be the case. I didn't walk Scott to know for some reason, even though there wasn’t a reason for me not to.
“Yeah, I think so. My dad was acting really weird, so I don't know what to think about that. But I guess it seemed to go okay.”
“You don't seem too sure.”
“He was just acting strange and I wonder why. Maybe he has already decided about the company and he's going to give it to Jeff.”
“I don't think that's it Scott. He would be silly to give it to him instead of you. I am pretty sure that he knows that.”
“You think so?”
I agreed, more because he needed me to, than anything else. I could see there was something between the two of them and the last thing I needed to do was come clean about how I knew Jimmy. It wasn’t time for that sort of truth.
“Yes, I do. I think it went pretty well. He seems nice.”
“It actually did go pretty well. I can’t believe that your plan is working. I would have never thought that we could pull it off, but you’re just full of surprises.”
I smiled back at him, but I felt guilt clutching at my throat again. He just didn’t need to know how I knew Jimmy. That wasn’t a surprise that he would like at all.
“Sometimes I can be.”
He said it like a good thing now, however I suspect that some surprises he wouldn’t want to hear about, and Scott wouldn’t feel the same about ones that had to do with his father.
We talked for a while longer and it was the first time since waking up next to him married, that I wasn’t too offended by the idea of it. Scott was downright a pleasure to be around when he wanted to be, but it was still a nagging feeling in the back of my mind, that he won’t always be like this. He could wake up like he did that one day and I can’t say that I’m too enthused with the idea of that.
“Do you want to finish our drink on the porch? It has one of my favorite views.”
My thoughts were all over the place, but I did like the idea of getting out into the gentle breeze. It was a pretty night.
“You know that it’s dark out, right? We missed the sunset.”
“No, this is a different view. Come on.”
I had no idea what he was talking about, but he had my attention. I wanted to go with him, be around him, even though I knew that this was all fake. For a moment I had believed, just like his father believed, that this was real. But it wasn’t real. It wasn’t real at all. It was all just one big mess.
Scott grabbed my hand and I grabbed my drink on the way out. I don’t know what he was thinking, but he had a glint in his eyes. I knew it well. He was thinking about what would happen if we were together. He was attracted to me, obviously and of course it was a natural change in thought.
“Come on Anna. I am sure that you’re going to like this.”
I wasn’t sure what he was talking about and I didn’t have time to ask because then we were out his back porch. I knew immediately what he was talking about because the city was glittering beneath us. The lights were everywhere, and I hadn’t been expecting that.
“I didn’t know it was like this back here.”
“This is probably my favorite part of the day. I come out here most evenings when I get home. It is usually late, but up here, it feels like the world is still going. It doesn’t matter how late I’m out here, there is always someone moving around.”
I liked the way he looked so wistful. It was nice to see and for a second, I could see that he was lonely. It didn’t make sense, considering that he was supposed to marry someone else a few days ago.
“So, what about your fiancée?”
He jerked with the question so hard, I was almost sorry that I asked.
“Lexie?”
“Yeah, if that’s her name.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that you were going to marry the woman a few days ago and now we’re married. I guess I’m just curious. You must have loved her.”
Scott looked off and his eyes stared off in the distance, while I studied the hard jaw line and the determined look on his face.
“Not all marriages are because of love Anna. Considering the situation, we are in, I would think that you’d understand that.”
I didn’t like the reminder and his words took away from the magic.
“Ours was a mistake that we didn’t even know that we were making. That’s different. I wouldn’t have married you to do this.”
“I know, it’s just that with me and Lexie it wasn’t love, that’s all. I cared about her and we had a good time together, but the union was more enforced by my parents more than anything else. Our parents wanted ties to each other’s families.”
“That sounds really old school.”
“It is, but just as effective as before.”
I don’t know why, but I felt sorry for him for a moment. What would it be like to have been pushed into marriage and to actually feel like he had to go with it? Was the money worth all of that to him?
I moved closer to him for a moment and I wasn’t really thinking of why I was doing it. It was just a draw that I had to him and when he looked down at me, I knew all that I wanted to do in this moment. I wanted him to kiss me, something I don’t remember us doing, but somehow knowing inside that it was exactly what I needed.
His lips were about as unsure as mine were, but that didn’t seem to stop him from pulling me in tighter and making me whimper against him. Scott’s lips were suddenly insistent, and his body molded against mine. For a moment, a second really, it felt real. It felt like this was the way a man kissed his wife and I clung to him, not even sure why I’d started this to begin with, but knowing as well that I was glad I did. I loved the way it felt and only when his hands went to my breasts, did something inside of me say to stop it before it got too far, like it already hadn’t.
“Wait…”
“Scott!!!”
A screeching, high-pitched voice made me jump and I looked behind me to find the woman that I would quickly realize was his fiancée walking towards us with a screwed-up face. She was pretty, thin, perfect really and I took a step back. While Scott liked to say that it was a marriage of convenience, or supposed to be, I had a feeling that Lexie didn’t feel the same way.
Chapter 114
Scott
The shock of the kiss was still present, when I heard Lexie’s voice. It was like she had felt that we were talking about her and now, here she was. I didn’t know what to say, but I knew that there was nothing that I could do about it, that I wanted to do about it.
“What the hell is going on here! I heard that you’d gotten married, but I didn’t want to believe it. And to a stripper?”
The last word was bit out and I could feel the woman next to me tensing up. I would imagine that Anna had heard such a thing before. I’d said something like that to her and until that moment, I really didn’t realize how that would affect her.
“Lexie, what are you doing here? You can’t just come up…”
She slapped me hard across the face and her face was about as red as her hair. She was pissed, but that wasn’t anything new. I saw her this way all the time. I couldn’t help but smile, and that got me another slap. I stepped back.
“Lexie you do that again, I’m going to call the police. How would that look in the papers?”
For a moment it felt like she was going to do it again but thought better of it. “How could you do this to me, then block me, not answer your phone and get married to a stripper?!”
When she said it like that…it didn’t sound very good. I had bounced an hour or less before the wedding and all the rest of it was true, but it wasn’t that simple. Nothing ever was. I wanted to explain it all to Lexie, but I didn’t want to upset Anna. She was my wife after all and the one that I was goi
ng to have to live with.
“This isn’t the time Lexie.”
“Why isn’t this the time? I don’t care if your whore is here with you.”
“That’s enough.”
“It’s not near enough Scott. How did you think I’d react?”
I was about to answer her, when I noticed that Anna was going back in. I didn’t have to see her face to know that she was upset. Lexie was harsh, always had been and for a second, I could imagine my life with her. Jeff did me a favor, he just didn’t realize it. What would it have been like to live with her for the rest of my life? The idea made me slightly sick to my stomach.
“Like this and that’s why I blocked your number. I was hoping you’d get ahold of yourself before I saw you, but I can see now that there is no stopping you. Leave Lexie, it’s over between us and I won’t be explaining myself. And you won’t say those things about my wife. She is my wife now, not you. I owe you nothing.”
“How dare you talk to me that way! After all the promises you made to me. About the beach house. And the car that you were going to buy me.”
“I’m sure that your father will find you another suitor in time for spring weddings.”
She slapped me again and I have to admit that I deserved it that time. I shouldn’t have said it, but I knew what was in Lexie’s heart. I’d always known what she was really thinking about me. It was all about the money and I know that it’s wrong, but I’d went with it because I didn’t think there was another option. That kiss, Anna, she made me think that there could be something more, though this little episode with Lexie wasn’t going to help it along the way I wanted it to.
“Leave Lexie. It’s over and you know it. There’s no reason to be mad about it. We can both just move on. There was no love between us, so let’s not pretend that there was.”
“Screw love Scott. I just wanted security.”
“You’re beautiful Lexie and you know that you won’t be single long. I did this wrong, I know that, but it’s over now.”
I was telling myself more than her. I wanted it to be over. I didn’t want to marry her. I didn’t love her, and I knew that it wasn’t going to end well with her. Now, it was ending up the way it was supposed to, and I was ready to move on. I wanted her to be as well. She didn’t look like the sort of person that gave up easily.
“You know what, you’re right. I should have gone for the brother that was going to get the company anyways. It won’t be you, destroying your family with the choice of bride. It won’t be long until you’re nothing.”
She was getting cold and I didn’t blame her, but at the same time, I didn’t want to hear it either.
“So, we’re done now Lexie. Thanks for stopping by. I need to go in and talk to my wife. You didn’t have to say those things about her.”
“Didn’t I? Maybe, she needs to be reminded of who she is. Or maybe you needed to be reminded, too.”
She finally left and I was able to breathe a little better. It all just made me realize that the best decision I could have made was not marrying her. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to marry someone like her. I had really dodged a bullet with Lexie.
I took a deep breath before I went back in. I knew that Anna was going to be upset about everything, but I didn’t want to think about it. I wanted this moment to be erased, so we could get back to what we were doing before she came by and ruined it all.
“So that was Lexie, huh?”
“Yeah, that’s the ex.”
“She’s…charming.”
I want to bet that it was the only thing that Anna could say. She didn’t want to be mean, too sweet in her nature, but I could tell that she was bothered and that bothered me. I wasn’t used to caring so much, but maybe it was time to start.
“I know that she is a bit abrasive.”
She laughed because we were both trying to be nice, but it was hard to do with someone like Lexie. She was hard to like, and I knew how she was before, but I guess I didn’t see it like I do now. Now I see it for what it is, a damn mess.
“I am sorry about what she said.”
“Don’t be, she’s right. I am a stripper.”
“You were one, Anna.”
I wanted to tell her that I didn’t mind what she did before, but she just got mad.
“I’m not embarrassed about it like you are. I did it and I would again if it means a better life later. I just see it as a sacrifice, but I have a feeling this isn’t the last time I’m going to hear about it. Your people seem obsessed with social standing and money. Those are two things that I care very little about. I will help you with your brother and father, but this is only temporary.”
I think she was saying it for herself, far more than she was saying it for me. I knew that it was temporary, but a little while ago, when we were kissing, I was wondering to myself if it could possibly be more. I wanted it to be.
“I don’t want this to ruin our night. We were enjoying ourselves.”
“It was a mistake. I forgot for a minute what this was between us. I won’t do it again Scott. I’m tired and I’m going to go to bed I think. It’s been a long day.”
I watched her leave without another word, and I knew that I should have said something. I should have stopped her and told her that she was wrong, there was something more between us, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it. This wasn’t how I was and if she wanted to leave, then so be it. Right?
But I didn’t feel so sure as she went back into the house and she was out of my sight. That kiss was something. I know it was. I could feel it and I knew that if I wanted things to work out between us, I was going to have to keep people like Lexie away. I hope that she was taken care of now.
I stayed out, looking at the view, noticing that it wasn’t as nice alone anymore. I’d came out here almost every night for years and now all of a sudden, it wasn’t right. It didn’t feel right. It only felt right when Anna was with me.
I had to ask myself more than once, what had I gotten myself into?
Chapter 115
Anna
Everything had been going so well and then it wasn’t. I’m not sure how I felt about the kiss. At one point, I wanted to kiss him again, for it to never end, but then that woman had come and ruined it. I don’t know if I should be mad at her or if I should thank her for making me see that this wasn’t at all what I thought this was. We weren’t together. This wasn’t a marriage. The kiss was just something it happened. I had to get my emotions under control because someone like him was going to ruin it for me.
When I got back to the room, I laid down on the bed for the longest time, trying to convince myself that I was happy with how it all worked out. I wasn’t of course, but I was going to have to find a way to frame it that made it, so I was okay with it. I didn’t want to worry about what happened next. All I could do at the moment, was get through it.
I went to bed thinking about my husband and how I had gotten into this mess. I knew his father well and I knew what kind of people I had gotten into bed with. I can’t say that I was so happy about it. I was having one of those moments that I was wondering what the hell I was doing. How had I talked myself into this?
The next morning, I was trying to stay as far away from my husband as I possibly could. I didn't really want to talk to him, but I knew I was going to have to eventually. I avoided him at breakfast, and he was gone when I came back in from the garden for lunch. I was hoping that he was going to spend another day at work like he always did. It would be easier if I didn't see him that much. Then I would stop telling myself that I had all these feelings that I didn't have. That was what was going to get me in trouble.
My husband surprised me though for dinner. Instead of staying out and working all night like he usually did, he came home around six, like he had the night before. His father wasn't here for dinner and I was a little surprised to see him.
I couldn’t help, but ask him what he was doing home so early.
“I just figured that
you might want a little company.”
I would have wanted company the day before, but now things were weird between us and I didn't know how to deal with that. Being around him was complicated. It seems like everything with Scott was complicated at the moment.
“Yes of course. This is your house after all.”
“It's our house Anna. You are my wife.”
“I'm not really your wife Scott. Remember?” There was a bitterness to my voice that I didn't expect to hear. I don't know why I was so upset by all of this. This was my idea after all.
“I am sorry for what Lexie said. She is jealous and she's hurt. I know that it doesn't give her the right to treat you that way, but you won't have to worry about her again.”
“It’s not just Lexie, Scott. It's going to be everybody that you know. That's all I will ever be to them. The stripper.”
I didn't want my voice to sound bitter, but it was even worse when it sounded so sad. I wanted them to like me and I wanted to fit in and make this real, but the truth was that it was never going to happen. We were two different people and I was just going to have to figure that out. It may seem complicated, but it wasn’t. We were just doing this to get back at his brother and to help us both. I need to stop making it more than it was. No matter how hard it was to do so.
“Do you really hate my family and the people I hang around with so much?”
“I don't hate them, because I don't know them.” He didn’t need to know about the ones I knew.
“Well, I want you to get to know them. I was hoping you would come with me to a charity function that I have to attend tonight. You are my wife after all and shouldn’t let me go by myself.”
It certainly wasn't what I wanted to do. The chef had made the carbonara that smelled amazing and I would much rather stay here in the dining room and eat it by myself, but he was right. If he was going to go to a charity function, then I should go as well. It would look better if I did anyways.