It was impossible for her to step back from the brink so she held her breath and jumped in. “Do what?”
“This.” He gestured at the space between them. “Going on the way we have been, both of us trying to avoid…it’s hard to work with you and not touch you.”
It was exactly what she wanted to hear. “I feel the same.”
She was tired of sleepless nights thinking of his hands. Maybe she needed to get him out of her system and he’d stop being such an addiction.
He exhaled hard, as if he’d been holding his breath. “Do you need to say your good-byes?” His voice was so low and deep that she almost felt what he was saying rather than heard it.
“I was going to stay in one of the rooms upstairs tonight.”
“We’re going to stay in one of the rooms tonight,” he corrected. “Let’s go.”
She liked him taking control. Liked it very much. So much that it was hard to walk normally back to the path in the gardens. Stephan didn’t say a word, but she could feel him behind her, his gaze stroking her skin like a feather. She led him around the edge of the gardens—the sounds of the party now spilled out into the warm night—and to a small door she tapped with a white card.
He said nothing. Estelle turned around, wanting to ask if he was…she didn’t even know, but wanting to say something to break the silence.
They stood for a moment, face to face, until Stephan pushed her up against the marbled wall of hallway, bracing his big arms on each side of her head. His face came down until they were almost touching.
“Your hips,” he said. “The way you move. It’s like a dance.” He dropped one of his hands down to her hip, then around to her ass as he pulled her in.
She thought his kiss would be rough but it was anything but. His mouth moved gently on hers, opening her slowly and igniting a fire in her belly so hot she could barely stand it. His hand gripped her firmly and his other came down to cup her face.
At the same time, they both asked, “Are you sure?”
“Very sure. How far to the room?” he asked.
“Not far.” She pulled away from him and fairly ran down the hall and up the stairs. Wavena had given her a permanent suite on the top floor. It was only two flights and although it might have been easier to take the elevator, Estelle didn’t trust herself in such close quarters with him. It would be embarrassing for her deputy to find her new boss fucking the masquerada ambassador her first day on the job.
Perhaps it would be better to play it cool so that Stephan didn’t know the effect he had on her. She slowed her step and heard him laugh.
“I’ve got about twenty more seconds of watching you before I either die or explode,” he said.
“We’re here.” She unlocked the French doors and flung them open, closing and locking them once Stephan was through. He gave the space a cursory glance. “Where’s the bed?”
“Other room.”
“Too far.”
He came close and this time the kiss was rougher, filled with the same need that had been boiling in her for months. Estelle opened her eyes quickly, trying to slow down the sensations that were overwhelming her. To her shock, he was gazing at her. She pulled back.
“You’re looking at me,” she accused.
“Which you would only know if your eyes were open.” He smiled lazily at her and she was distracted by his full lips, so soft against the chiseled hardness of his face. She reached out to trace the edge of his lip and he moved his head to nip at her finger before drawing it into his mouth and covering it with heat.
How could he turn her on so fast? Estelle leaned her head against the wall, giving herself up to the intense feeling of Stephan’s mouth on her finger. A languid heat spread, moving down her arm and over her body until she felt like jelly.
He moved his attention to her palm, licking and biting down her wrist and the sensitive inner skin of her forearm. Her hands clenched and her thighs tightened. Even as Stephan was lavishing attention on the inner bend of an elbow—a spot that made her moan out loud, his other hand had inched up the full skirts of her dress until he was kneading her naked flesh. Slowly, he moved his hand to the front and paused right before he reached where she needed him most.
Then he stepped away. “Lift up your skirts.”
Her dress had been made of layers of transparent chiffon and apart from the garters encircling her thighs—one held a knife and the other her flask, best to always be prepared—she wore nothing else. She plucked the front of her skirts between her fingers and began to raise them inch by inch, watching his face as she teased him. He took a step back and pressed the palm of his hand down on his cock, his eyes hooded. When she reached her thighs, she paused. “Should I continue?”
“Yes.” His eyes didn’t move from where the hem of her skirts met her upper thighs.
By the time the skirts reached her lower belly, Estelle could barely control the trembling of her fingers. She stood, bared to his gaze. When they’d last had sex—the only time they’d had sex—it had been less intense. Amazing, naturally, but casual compared to this. It was as if the months they been together had resulted in a small flame deep inside her body that she was finally able to stoke.
Stephan stepped forward and took her skirt from her hands, deftly tying them up so she remained exposed. He knelt down and pressed a kiss against her right thigh, right above the garter. As he trailed kisses across her skin, he hooked his thumbs in her panties and pulled them down until she could step out of them.
Only then did he put his hands to the inside of her legs and spread them. Estelle couldn’t stop jerking against him as Stephan moved his tongue against her, licking and biting until the pressure began to build. As she was about to hit the point where stopping her orgasm would be impossible, Stephan moved back and came onto his feet.
“Take me out,” he said.
It was her turn to go to her knees. In seconds, she’d released his cock and was trailing her tongue down the side, wanting to get him to the same point as he’d taken her. His hands pushed back her hair and she adjusted herself so he could watch. She wanted desperately to stroke herself at the same time but instead put both hands on his ass, feeling the muscles tighten under her palms as she took more of him into her mouth.
With a deep groan, Stephan pulled away and went to his knees facing her, one hand fisting his cock as he ran his other along her side. He pulled her up so Estelle straddled him.
Then he waited.
It was Estelle who reached down, Estelle who leveraged herself up so she could feed his cock into her inch by delicious inch. She’d forgotten how good the man felt, almost as if he’d been made for her. Stephan stayed still, but she could tell by how his muscles bunched under her roving hands that he was barely under control. The rush of his blood filled her nose and she leaned into his flesh, breathing him deep. She would never bite without permission but…God, it was hard to resist.
She barely lasted until the blaze ignited and she came, hard, muffling her cries into his shoulder. In the shudders that came after, her body limp, Stephan shifted them both so he was on top. His arms hooked under her legs, spreading her wider and she looked up into his face. It was almost enough to make her come again, seeing this incredible man desperate for her.
“Estelle.” Stephan only murmured her name before he threw back his head and thrust deep into her one more time.
She loved it.
And she knew they’d made a huge mistake.
* * * *
Even as his body lay entangled with hers, on the floor of her suite because he’d been too desperate to make it through one more room, Stephan knew they had a problem.
This should never have happened. They needed to work together. He had thought—at least he thought he did, it was hard to tell when Estelle was half-naked in front of him—that if they got this attraction out of their systems, it wo
uld be good. Like gorging on a favorite food until you couldn’t stand to look at it anymore.
Instead, it had made him want more.
Estelle sighed and moved her leg, reminding Stephan that the floor was marble and cold. He swept Estelle up and carried her over to the bed. Neither said a word as they lay side-by-side staring at the ceiling. Stephan wasn’t sure what he even wanted to say. Telling the woman you’d been inside of just three minutes before that it was all a big blunder was not the action of a gentleman.
“So,” said Estelle slowly. She was still dressed in her gala gown, though it was hiked high and tied. Stephan did his best to keep his eyes away from her legs. They were perfect. If there was a Platonic ideal of legs, they would be Estelle’s: soft and curvy but strong enough to grip him like she’d never let him go. She patted her thigh and frowned. “I think we need that flask.”
He rolled off the bed and rearranged his clothes before fetching the flask. He took a swig, grimaced and then took two more before handing it to her. She tilted it back, exposing her throat.
Good God, he’d given her a hickey. He decided not to say anything.
After she recapped the flask, she sat up and pursed her lips. “I don’t want to insult you—”
“Well, thanks!”
She ignored this. “I think this was a good thing to have happened. I mean, obviously, we’ve both been thinking about it. Now that we’ve, ah…”
“Fucked?” he offered. “Screwed? Boned? Had sexual congress?”
“Yes, thank you.” Estelle moved her head away, but he saw her lips tilt. He loved trying to get her to laugh. “Look, we need to work together. I don’t want our personal feelings to interfere.”
He twisted to lay on one arm and regarded her. She was right. “Nor do I, but I think we’re being disingenuous if we try to ignore the fact that we’re attracted to each other. It’s counterproductive. Think of it as self-care.”
She squinted at him. “Think of what as self-care? What the hell does that mean anyway?”
“We’re adults with physical needs. We can work together and have sex without pursuing a romantic relationship.” Maybe she would go for that, he told himself. He didn’t have time for a partner either, not with Tom missing and the Dawning about to wreak havoc on the world.
Still, part of him wanted to try, very much.
“You’re suggesting friends with benefits. That’s what you want.”
“I suppose I am, if you want to phrase it like that.” It sounded a bit crass. Nor was it what he wanted, not really. He wanted all of her, all the time, but there was a small nagging worry deep down in the back of his mind. He trusted Estelle, absolutely, but it never hurt to take a relationship slow at the beginning. Especially with a war on.
“Okay,” she said promptly. “I’m in.”
He blinked. “You are?”
“Absolutely. We like each other. This works. We need some rules, though.”
All he could do was nod.
“No sleeping together, like falling asleep.”
“Fine.” Damn.
“We keep it between us. The second it interferes in our working relationship, it’s over.”
He considered this. All reasonable. Very sensible. She’d already promised to stay out of his head, so there was no need to rehash that. He’d love to wrap his arms around her and wake up with her but…well, nothing was perfect in this world. “Sounds good.”
Estelle stood and took off her dress. “Then I think we need to seal the deal.”
He looked at the soft curve of her stomach and pulled her onto the bed.
It was a good deal.
* * * *
It must have been three or four in the morning when Estelle finally pulled herself out of the bed and away from Stephan. Her skin smelled like him and she breathed in deep as she stood at the window, wrapped in a robe, looking out to the gardens. Every part of her was completely satisfied.
Behind her, she heard Stephan pull on his clothes, and she turned to watch his reflection in the window. “Is there a guest bed in your palatial suite?” he asked. His shirt was unbuttoned and she was tempted to run her fingers over his chest again, but somehow the moment was wrong. He’d made it clear they weren’t real lovers, after all, with the privilege of those absentminded, intimate caresses.
“Through here.” They stopped in the kitchen for water, which they guzzled as though parched, and then Estelle led him into a matching, but slightly smaller, set of rooms. She paused. “We should get you your own place,” she said.
“At court?”
“It would suit your new role as ambassador. Congratulations, by the way. I forgot.”
“It’s not a true promotion. Eric needed me to have the wallop of the title so I could get more done.”
“That’s not true.” She said it a bit sharper than she meant to and Stephan’s dark eyebrows winged up. “You deserve it.”
“Thank you.” There was a short silence and then he looked around. “I’ll see you later in the morning?”
“I’ll be with Agata.”
“Right. I’m going to talk to Raoul, see what he knows about your brother.”
There was another pause as they both looked around. Estelle felt uncomfortable, not sure if she should kiss him or kiss his cheek French-style or shake hands. In the end she backed out, feeling awkward.
“Night,” they said at the same time.
“Right,” they repeated.
Then she shut the door and went to her bed. Too much had happened and she couldn’t even…
She fell asleep hugging the pillow Stephan had laid his head on.
Chapter 15
Estelle hesitated at Stephan’s door and passed on without knocking. It was early, she rationalized, and he would be sleeping. She left a note in the kitchen inviting him to help himself to food and that she’d be in touch later.
Feeling a bit guilty about avoiding Stephan, she walked through the palace to drop in on the queen before she met with Agata. It was unreasonable for her to go into this day blind and she wasn’t surprised to find Wavena waiting for her.
“A good night?” she asked.
Did the queen know about Stephan? Estelle sidestepped. “It certainly had some unexpected news.”
Wavena smiled tightly. “Agata is your equivalent in the lithu hierarchy.”
Very interesting, but the revelation added nothing to Estelle’s knowledge as to why the woman was here. She waited.
The queen stood up and strolled over to the long windows. “We need a rapprochement with the lithu,” she said. “Especially now. The eastern queens are restive, though weak, and I’m not sure I trust them after last year’s incident.”
“When they sent the assassin.” There had been a bad spate of vampiric infighting when one of the eastern queens had died and her successor developed delusions of grandeur. Cressida had dealt with most of it but kept Estelle informed.
“Yes. We need allies.”
“We have allies.”
“It’s more than that. This enmity has existed for too long.”
“It came about for a reason.”
“Because of an action taken by vampires,” Wavena pointed out.
“That was so long ago that no one is alive. We can’t take the blame for the actions of our ancestors.”
“No. What we can do is be the first to open ourselves. It might not have been my hand or yours that held the knives, Estelle, but it was our people and our culture.”
“It’s too risky. The lithu are…” she stopped. She’d said the same thing to Stephan the night before and here she was, not a day later, parroting the same words.
“Are what?” Wavena tilted her head to the side.
“I’m doing my best to come to grips with this.” Estelle hunched back in the chair. “I’ve never had to deal
with a lithu.”
“Try dealing with Agata instead of a lithu. I asked for their best.”
Because she doesn’t think you can handle it.
Estelle almost clapped her hands over her ears as if that would block out the negative thoughts. “Why as my deputy? Why not an observer?” The seneschal minor was a powerful position in the vampire hierarchy.
Wavena smiled thinly. “They have very good negotiators.”
“Wavena.”
“They want me to demonstrate that I’m willing to be open and honest with them. Agata is now, for all intents and purposes, a dual subject with loyalty to both lithu and vampires.”
“Why would she do that?” Estelle shook her head. Would she be willing to give up her life here to go live with the lithu?
The queen sat down and put her hands on the desk. “That’s a question you need to ask her. In fact, there’s much you can learn from Agata, as you did from Cressida.”
Estelle’s back snapped straight. “About what?” Leadership?
“About the lithu. Who they are. I think there are more commonalities than differences.”
“That’s it?” Estelle couldn’t resist asking.
“I assume you will ask her about her training as a matter of course,” Wavena said mildly. “As well as assessing how she approaches issues and decisions.”
It was for leadership.
The interview was clearly over and Estelle left to find Agata. More guilt there. She should have checked in with Agata instead of leaving with Stephan for a night of mind-blowing sex. Sex they were free to repeat whenever they wanted and without any strings.
She was looking forward to that part.
At least the night’s fun had taken her mind off what was coming today. The meeting with the Ancients had preyed on her since she’d become the acting seneschal six months ago and now it was hitting with a vengeance.
Agata’s quarters were in a separate wing and Estelle approved of their suitability. She slowed as she neared the room and took a deep breath. Stephan’s pointed comment last night had hurt more than she let on. Everyone knew the lithu were sly, but he’d acted as though she was in the wrong. She grimaced, knowing the comment bothered her because he was right. She’d accepted the rubbish she’d been told about the lithu without criticism and that was not the action of the person she considered herself to be. Agata was her own woman and Estelle would keep an open mind. She would need to do better, try harder, to make sure she didn’t fail in her judgment of her deputy.
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