by Mia Belle
“You were awesome,” I say. “I remember your performance so clearly. Your English accent? Impeccable. But we had to hurry home so I couldn’t wait for you at the stage door to sign my playbill.”
“Oh. Sorry,” she says.
“No, it’s okay. My mom asked you to sign it when you were here in the summer.”
“Your mom?” she asks. “Were you too scared?” She’s teasing me. And I like it.
I laugh sheepishly for the millionth time. “Yeah. It’s a little different asking for your autograph at the stage door than in my own town.”
“Sorry I don’t remember,” she says.
“It’s okay. I can’t expect you to remember every playbill you signed.”
She nervously runs a hand through her wavy black hair, and I can’t help wondering if it’s as soft as it looks. “Have you really been to twelve of my performances?” she asks.
I scratch the back of my neck, shifting in my seat. “Yeah. Sorry, is that creepy?”
“Can I ask why?”
“Oh. Um….” I shift again. “I’m a big fan.”
“There have been many before me,” she says quietly. “And there will be many after me. Why…why me?”
She’s got an unreadable expression on her face. Try as I might, I can’t make it out. But I do sense some fear.
“Uh…” I play with one of the scissors. “I guess I felt something inside me the first time I saw you perform. It was in Annie.”
“When I played Molly.”
“Yeah. It was my first Broadway show. I was so excited—it was my first time in New York City. Everything about it was so amazing. Breathtaking. The lights, the noise, the people. It was so magical. But nothing could prepare me for the magic I saw on stage that night.”
She slowly meets my gaze.
I nod. “Yeah, little Molly, played by Kara Starr.”
She swallows. “What was so magical about it?”
“It was you,” I say. “You were the magic. I was just a little kid back then, but you inspired me, Kara. I sat on the edge of my seat, totally entranced by your performance.”
“I was just playing a minor role,” she mumbles. “And I wasn’t even good.”
“You were,” I insist. “Ever since that night, I wanted to be in theater. I signed up to my mom’s dance classes and begged her to find me a vocal coach. I made sure to join every school play.”
“And you attended more of my performances?” she asks.
I nod. “Two Annie, one Les Mis where you played young Cosette. Four performances of Matilda, five performances of Frozen, where you originated Young Elsa, and one where you played Chava in Fiddler on the Roof. I think I was at your last performance.”
“Yeah, I cut it short,” she mutters. “But did you really go to five performances of Frozen?”
My faces get a little hot. “I really love the Disney movie, and I was over the moon when I heard they were making a Broadway production. And then I found out my favorite performer was going to play Young Elsa.”
She doesn’t laugh or smile. That same darkness conquers her face.
I lean a little closer. “Kara...why—”
“I’m going to tell you.” She takes a deep breath. “Not all of it. Because…I can’t. It’s too much. But I want you to try to understand.”
“Okay…”
She takes in a shaky breath, a look of extreme pain taking over her face. I wish I could do something, to comfort her some way. But I stay rooted in my spot. She opens her mouth, her lips quaking, her gaze anywhere but on me. “I had a stalker,” she whispers, though her voice carries throughout the empty room. “A fan. He got a little too obsessed with me. To the point where I didn’t feel safe anymore.” She slowly brings her eyes to mine, and I see the tears brimming in them, though she’s desperately trying to fight them. “That’s why I’m here. Why I moved in with my grandmother. I ran away.”
I just gape at her, my stomach sinking to my toes. No, it seeps out of me and puddles around my feet. An uncontrollable need to protect her takes over my body. I want to leap over the table and gather her in my arms and hold her close against my chest and tell her I’m here and everything will be okay. But that only works in the movies. In real life, I just sit there gaping at her, not knowing what to do or say.
She searches my eyes, waiting for me to respond. Licking my lips, I say, “Did he…I mean, did you meet him? Did he…?”
“He didn’t physically hurt me,” she continues to whisper. “I mean, the police caught him before he could. But…” She closes her eyes and shakes her head. “There’s more to the story, but I can’t…I don’t…”
I reach across the table and take her hands in mine. “It’s okay. Don’t relive it. I’m so sorry, Kara. I must have dug it all up the second you moved here. I was all over you.”
She stares down at our hands, and I’m worried she’ll slip hers out of mine. But she doesn’t. She gives me a weak smile. “Thanks, but I totally overreacted. Sometimes I forget how much I inspire my fans. It’s a good thing.”
“But there’s always someone who ruins things,” I say with a scowl. “I hate him, whoever he is. I hate him for taking away your sense of security and your love for performing. That’s why you didn’t want to join the musical. Why you’re so hesitant to perform. You’re worried it’ll happen again.”
She nods. “It might be irrational, but I see him every time I step on stage. I mean, I don’t really see him because I have no idea what he looks like, but I imagine him sitting there watching me.” She shivers. “I can’t help but wonder how many times he sat in the theater watching me with his creepy eyes and…” She shivers again.
I carefully remove my hands from hers and sit back in my chair, mentally cursing myself. I should have been more sensitive. I should have realized that something like this could happen. If I loved her, there had to be others who felt the same way. Maybe someone who didn’t have innocent intentions like me. A creep.
“Don’t take it so hard, Jax,” she says softly. “You couldn’t have known.”
“I should have.”
“No. Please don’t be upset at yourself. I’m trying to move on. Maybe that’s why I decided to join the musical. Not only because I miss performing, but because I want to put this behind me.”
“It’s not?” I ask. “You said the police caught the guy.”
“Yeah, but…” She chews her bottom lip. “They might have caught the wrong guy.”
“What?”
“The disgusting packages still arrived,” she says. “Either the police caught the wrong guy or he has a copycat. And the second guy was even worse than the first. That’s why I cut my run with Fiddler short and escaped here. I only hope he doesn’t find me.”
“I’ll look after you,” I say. “I’ll protect you.”
“No, I don’t need you to protect me.”
“I’m not trying to be macho here,” I say. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I didn’t tell you because I want you to protect me, Jax. I just don’t want you to walk on eggshells around me and I don’t want to feel uncomfortable around you. Now that you know, maybe…”
“Maybe I can back off?” I can’t keep the bitter tone from my voice.
“No. Jax, I’m not trying to hurt you. I want us to get along.”
“I want to get along, too,” I say. “I want to be your friend. I’ve wanted to be your friend since I saw you in Annie.” I want to be even more, but I definitely can’t tell her that. And with this new information, I don’t know if I she’ll ever let me be more. But you know something? I don’t care about it. I want her to be happy. Happy and safe. If that means I’ll have to be only her friend for the rest of my life, then I accept. Because she matters more than anything.
“Are we good?” I ask.
“I think so.”
“Tell me when I’m coming onto you too strongly,” I say. “You don’t have to worry about hurting my feelings.”
“Than
ks. I really appreciate it.” She leans back in her chair and sighs in relief. “I’m happy I got this off my chest. I feel a lot better.”
“Me, too,” I say. “And I’m really glad we’re friends now, because I hate seeing you alone by lunch. I wanted to come over to you so many times, but you always looked so scared of me. Now I know why.”
“Thanks, I’d love that,” she says. “It’s been hard not really having any friends.”
“We’ll love to have you,” I say, then frown. “Ezra…well, it’ll take some time before he warms up to you. The last few weeks haven’t been easy on him.”
“It’s okay,” she says. “I’m used to him. I am playing Belle, you know.”
I glance at the clock. “Shoot! My dance class will start soon.” I start gathering my things.
“You’re teaching the kids again?”
“Yep. How about you? Got a class today?”
“Yeah.”
“Want to take the bus with me?”
She thinks for a few moments. “My grandma told me I can call James any time I need a lift.”
“Who’s James?”
“My grandmother’s chauffeur.”
“Chauffeur? Fancy.”
“I know, right?” Her eyes shine as she flashes me a smile. “Want to feel like a celebrity?”
“Hell yeah!”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Ezra
Days of rehearsals have all come down to this: the epic dance between Belle and the Beast.
I thought about skipping school today. Just to avoid this. Why did I even audition for the Beast? What the hell was I thinking? Oh yeah. I was thinking any experience I get could open the door to Broadway. But dammit, why do I have to dance?
The last thing I want is for the school to call my parents and tell them I didn’t show up. Or for me to get detention and then I won’t be able to show up to rehearsal. Which is what I want, but is it what I really want?
I’m a little more than shocked when I find Kara Starr sitting between Jax and Carter at our lunch table.
I go still and just stand a few feet away with my lunch tray. Which is packed with all kinds of indistinguishable dishes.
Kara looks beyond happy to have someone to sit with at lunch. Her face is full of light, not darkness like it’s been since her first day at school. And she’s in the middle of speaking animatedly to Carter and Jax.
All I see when I look at her is her hanging onto my arm. I need to bolt.
“Yo, Ezra!” Jax calls. “Why you just standing there?”
Both Carter and Kara are staring at me, too. Kara must see the expression on my face, because she stands. “I’ll leave. Sorry.” She gathers her tray.
“No.” I step closer. “Don’t go.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to impose.”
“Of course he’s sure.” Carter kicks out my chair. “Sit your ass down. You have to listen to Kara’s story. It’s hilarious.”
Kara still stands there, clutching the edges of her tray. She’s not sure if she should stay or if I want her gone. With a shrug, I flop down on the chair Carter kicked out and dig into my food. Which, like always, tastes like shit.
Kara slowly lowers herself to her chair and plays around with her food. The table is quiet. Save for Carter and me stuffing our faces. Why am I eating this crap? It’s not that I don’t want her here. I don’t mind either way. I just hope she doesn’t expect me to be social.
“Start your story from the beginning,” Jax says to Kara.
“Okay.” She clears her throat and tucks some of her dark hair behind her ear. “It was while I was in Annie. Some of the kids there were such troublemakers, but there was one girl in particular who liked to get under people’s skin. My friend Abbey and I were a little scared of her, which was why we went along with her antics. One time, she got all the girls to fill the guy who played Mr. Warbucks’s entire room with frogs.”
“Frogs?” Jax laughs. “How the heck did she get all those frogs?”
“Her brother liked collecting them. She brought jars of like seven of them and we set them loose in his dressing room while he was on stage. But guess what happened?”
“What?”
“The woman who played Miss Hannigan liked to hang out in his room, and she was the unfortunate recipient of the prank. She freaked so bad the understudy had to take over.”
Jax and Carter chuckle.
“Abbey and I were so scared,” I say. “The woman who played her was a lovely person, but she was so mean on stage, and I was pretty young and didn’t realize she was actually nice. I spent the rest of the week shivering in bed every night because I thought she was going to barge into my room and send me to a real orphanage or something.”
Now Jax and Carter are laughing pretty loudly. I feel my lips lift in a grin.
“And what happened to the ringleader?” Carter asked.
Kara shrugs. “I met her again a few years later on Matilda.”
“And?” Jax presses.
“And she did the same thing to the guy who played Miss Trunchbull. But he liked to mess around with the kids with his own pranks. He would screw up his lines on purpose just to mess with us, but it wasn’t obvious to the audience. Honestly, I was a little scared of him, too. He played a mean Trunchbull.”
Jax laughs again. “Sounds like you’ve got a lot of good memories.” A sympathetic look takes over his face. “Maybe it even trumps the bad ones?”
They exchange a secret look. Huh, I wonder what that’s about.
Carter kicks my chair. “You’re quiet.”
Jax rolls his eyes. “He’s always quiet.”
“Just eating my shitty lunch.” I pick up some mushy rice with my spoon and let it go splat on my plate.
“What’s with the lunch, anyway?” Kara asks. “I mean, the lunch at my old school wasn’t worth a Michelin star, but compared to this?” She tries to stabs her fork into some sort of mystery meat, but it’s as hard as stone.
“School presidents are always promising to do something about the food,” Jax says. “But they never do.”
“I don’t think it’s that bad,” Carter admits.
Jax gives him a look. “Because you’re always hungry. You’ll eat anything in front of you.”
Now Carter and Kara share a secret look, one that flies right over Jax’s head. Huh. There’s definitely something going on between those two. Are they…do they like each other? I don’t know why I get this strange feeling in my gut. And isn’t Jax in love with Kara?
I push away from my seat. “Going to class.”
As I move away, I hear Jax say to Kara, “Sorry again about Ezra. Things haven’t been easy for him. Carter and I try to help him, you know, but he always keeps to himself.”
I slow my pace to catch Kara’s response.
“Sometimes you need to give a person the space he needs. I’m sure he’ll open up to you when he’s ready.”
I chuck my tray into the bin and leave the caf.
I can’t imagine being happy again. Being over my grandfather’s death. It’s easier to be bitter and hate the world than open my heart to the possibility of happiness. Because I don’t know if my heart can take any more heartache or disappointment.
***
I should have bolted when I had the chance. Now I’m standing on stage next to Kara and Miss Lewis, who is explaining how we should position our hands. On each other. For the epic, romantic dance scene.
There’s quite a distance between us, and Kara’s running her hand up and down her arm like she’s got a rash. Her eyes flick to me every so often, like she’s trying to read my reaction to this. To see if I’m looking forward to the scene or would rather jump into a burning building.
“Are you listening, Ezra?” Miss Lewis asks.
“Yeah.”
“Okay. Assume the position,” she announces.
I can feel the eyes of every person in the auditorium and stage on me, specifically one in particularly—Kelsey. She’
s shooting daggers at Kara and me. Me because I didn’t fight for her to get the role of Belle. I’ve done a few musicals with her in the past, and she’s a nightmare to work with. As much as I’m dreading touching Kara here and there, I’m glad I don’t have to touch Kelsey.
“C’mon, you two,” Miss Lewis says. “You’re not in middle school.”
Kara steps closer and looks up into my face. I haven’t noticed it before, but her eyes are beautiful. Like sapphires. I swallow as my gaze slips to her lips. She’s standing so close I can feel her warm breath on my cheek. I quickly pull my eyes back to hers.
“Remember, awkwardness at first.” Miss Lewis puts her hand on my back, giving me a little shove. My nose nearly smacks into her forehead. “That’s good! A little comedy wouldn’t hurt. This is the first time these characters are getting this close, such a pivotal moment in their relationship. You’re shy, you’re nervous, you’re excited.”
Kara’s face is tilted toward mine, blue eyes staring into mine. When our gazes meet, she quickly looks away. My heart races in my chest and my breathing has gotten a little heavy. I hope my palms aren’t sweaty.
“Remember, Kara,” Miss Lewis says. “The Beast has never danced before. Belle has. Guide his hands. Show him where to touch you.”
The auditorium is so quiet, I wonder if everyone vanished into a puff of smoke. I don’t take my eyes off Kara’s face. Her eyes seem bluer. Her skin looks so soft. An image of me gently brushing my fingers across her cheek invades my mind—
I jump back and stumble away.
“Ezra?” Miss Lewis asks.
Kara’s face holds nothing but confusion.
“You okay?” Miss Lewis says. “Need a break?” She glances at her watch. “Shoot, we’re running a little behind schedule.”
“I’m okay.” I step toward Kara, ignoring the hammering in my chest. Ignoring how pretty her eyes are. Ignoring the images that are once again running rampant in my mind.
“Everyone ready?” Miss Lewis asks.
Kara and I nod.
“Cue music,” Miss Lewis says. “Cue Mrs. Potts—Kelsey, why aren’t you on stage?”
I glance at the audience and see her lounging in the first row, chewing her gum loudly and texting.