by Tegan Maher
Ida considered her for a few moments, then lifted a shoulder that was nearly transparent—a dead giveaway she was a new ghost, pardon the pun. We could barely see her in the sunlight.
“I don’t know for sure how long I’ve been back,” she said. “Time is weird. I remember bein’ hauled out of the Piggly Wiggly, but I think I was still alive then.”
“You were,” I confirmed.
“Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital above my bed, lookin’ down at myself. Rose was there, crying.” Sorrow crossed her face. “We weren’t speakin’, you know. I died without telling her I really was a mean old bat like she said. I was too hard on that girl.”
Belle hmphed and crossed her arms. “You sure were. You weren’t raised that way, so I don’t know what got into you. You were poor and your mama was a horrible housekeeper, but she treated you like the sun rose and set on your backside.”
Ida waved her off. “Hardly the point right now. I had a few times since the hospital when I can remember flashes, but they’re just that. Then I was here, wide awake with Old Lady Marple rubbing my hand like ... I don’t know what but it was creepy.” She scowled. “And I got a bone to pick with Coralee.”
The back door swung open, and it looked like Ida was going to get her chance. Addy floated through it, and when Coralee poked her head out and saw us, she pushed it open and strode toward us. She didn’t have magic per se but had always been able to see ghosts whether they were trying to hide or not. I attributed it to the fact that there wasn’t a discriminatory bone in her body; she accepted everybody—white, black, pink, purple, old, young, dead, or alive. Therefore, she was more receptive.
She slammed her hands on her hips. “Was that you makin’ all that noise while I was tryin’ to do your makeup last night, you hateful old hag? You like to gave me a heart attack.”
Ida looked at her like she’d lost her mind, then glowered at her. “You! Twenty years you been tellin’ me to wear plum lipstick. Twenty years I been tellin’ you I didn’t like it. Then I die and you up and slather it on me anyway.”
Coralee narrowed her eyes at her. “Well I surely wasn’t usin’ that gawd-awful orange you insisted on wearin’ when you were livin’. It made your teeth look yellow and your skin sallow.” She drew herself up to her full height, not that that was saying much, and fluffed her Aqua-Netted helmet of hair. “My reputation was at stake and damned if I wasn’t doin’ my best to make you look your best, and I don’t care how little fashion sense you had when you were still kickin’.”
“Ladies,” Hunter said, “I think we’re all missing the point, here. The point is that Ida’s back, and maybe she can help us solve her murder.”
“Murder?” Ida barked. “What the hell do you mean, murder?”
Her form became more visible and sparks flickered behind her eyes. The wind picked up and her form started to flicker and pixilate like it was going to fly apart.
Oh, boy. A poltergeist was the last thing we needed, especially given Ida’s natural personality. As my hair whipped around my head, I closed my eyes and hoped with all my heart this wasn’t going to be one of those evenings.
CHAPTER 29
BELLE AND ADDY SWOOPED over to Ida and tried to bring her back to her senses. It was touch and go for several long moments, but finally, the wind died back down and her form stabilized. It was the mention of Rose that did it; they said she had a chance to make things right.
But, not wanting to add fuel to the fire, we decided it was best we leave before she realized who the bimbo in the polka dots was. I ran back inside to tell Rose goodbye and to ask her to come by the farm as soon as they wrapped things up.
"Did you see something odd over near Mama a little bit ago?" she asked.
"Odd? What do you mean, odd?" I was so not going into that right now.
"Nothing," she said, but she looked troubled. I wanted to tell her right then, but her father was right beside her, and she had to stay there for another hour to keep up appearances. No way was I gonna be the one to up-dump her apple cart when she was already pushing a full load.
I was a little surprised Rose hadn't seen her; she hadn't had any trouble seeing Addy or the other ghosts, but her mind was preoccupied, and Ida was still new. Those two elements must have been enough for them to miss each other. Plus, the non-magical human brain tends to process only what it wants to. Maybe since she'd already accepted that her mom was gone, that had been a factor, too.
At any rate, I said my goodbyes after Rose promised to meet me at the farm, then went back out to meet the crew. Coralee and the three ghosts had left, but Hunter was still there. It was probably a good thing Cheri Lynn was off globetrotting with Rupert because Ida was the type of judgmental person who would have been mean to her, and then I would have been mean back, poltergeist be damned.
“I asked them to ride with us so I could ask some questions on the way,” Hunter said. We climbed in the truck and fastened our seatbelts before Hunter fired it up and pulled out of the lot. I rolled the window down a little to make it feel less claustrophobic. You'd be surprised how cramped a full-sized, dual-cab vehicle could feel when you had two solid bodies and three incorporeal but significant figures stuffed in it. Having an elbow accidentally go through your throat is not a pleasant sensation.
"So Ida," Hunter began. "Do you—" I cleared my throat. I didn't think asking questions about her murder right then was such a hot idea. He glared at me and continued. "Do you have any idea why you stayed behind? I've always been curious about that. Why do some people stay and some don't? I've never really asked."
Well, didn't I feel silly.
She appeared thoughtful. "I don't know. I don't remember seeing any light or anything. I just woke up dead." She turned Addy and Belle. "Was it that way for you two?"
Addy shook her head. "I was given a choice, though it wasn't like somebody askin' me. It was just a feelin'. I saw a light and knew I had the choice to stay or go. It was just somethin' I knew, if that makes any sense. Truth be told, at first, I thought I was choosin' between livin' and dyin', but I knew somehow that wasn't right." She smiled toward me. "I chose to stay because the girls needed me."
"So you're stuck here forever?"
Addy shook her head. "It doesn't feel that way. It feels like whenever I change my mind, the option's still there."
Ida turned to Belle. "And you?"
"My situation was different. It was like yours. I just woke up dead in the back room at the salon, lookin’ down at Irma Fae Peterson slappin' me in the face. I'd fell over dead from a heart attack. I think I stayed because I didn't want to leave the salon," she said. "I'd willed it to Coralee, but I wasn't quite ready to give it up yet."
Addy huffed. "Still ain't."
Belle elbowed her, which was an odd thing to watch. "I am, too. I was given the same option you were; it just took a few years. Now I stay because I want to, not because I'm stuck. Don't ever tell her I said so, but Coralee's good at what she does. My salon's in good hands."
"Hm!" Ida snorted through her nose. "If she were any good at what she does, I wouldn't be wearin' this horrid lipstick."
Belle raised a brow at her. "The fact you're wearin' it even though you had to die for her to get the right color on you is testament to the fact she's good at what she does."
The ghosts faded out before we made it to the farm, promising they'd be back in a couple hours. That would be right about the time Rose would be getting there.
Shelby was there when I got home, and Cody and Emma had just finished helping her bring the horses in and feed them. She was sitting in the porch swing looking whipped, and I could hear the other two in the house.
"How's it going with the mare and twins?" I asked. They'd managed to get both foals on the ground alive and both were suckling, but that didn't mean they were out of the woods. She'd gone back out with Will and Cody that morning for a follow-up.
She gave an exhausted smile. "Better than we expected. They're both still nursing, and the sm
aller one seems to be doing fine. I think they'll make it."
"That's awesome," I said, happy for some good news.
"On the flip side,” I said, “guess who showed up at Ida's funeral?"
Shelby'd had a couple run-ins with Ida at Bobbie Sue's, where she waitressed part-time. To say she wasn't a fan was an understatement.
"Don't tell me," she said, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees. "The floozy wife."
"Well, yeah," I replied, "but aside from the numerous felonies against fashion and etiquette she committed, she didn't cause a fuss, at least before we left."
"Then who?" she asked, rolling her finger to get me hurry up.
"Ida showed up."
She sighed. "Of course she did. Because evil doesn't die."
CHAPTER 30
CODY AND EMMA PUSHED through the door carrying glasses of tea for all of us.
"Hey," Cody said, handing Hunter a glass. "We saw you guys pull up."
Emma handed me mine. "How was the viewing?"
"That's another strange question people ask," Hunter said to me, and I explained the list we'd made earlier to everybody.
Shelby laughed. "Asking how one went isn’t weird, though. Around here, a wake or viewing can get ugly, or at least exciting, especially if you’ve got no dog in the fight. It's a valid question."
"Yeah," Emma added. "Remember back when Mr. Zolinski's mama died, and both her ex-husbands showed up wanting her to be buried with their pictures? They got in a wrestling match over whose was gonna go in her hand into the hereafter and knocked the casket over."
"That didn't really happen," Hunter said in disbelief.
"Oh, it happened," I said. "And the funeral home went out of business shortly after. Not only did she roll out, but the mortician's assistant had apparently had a date the night before. Rather than be late, she skipped dressing Mrs. Zolinski from the waist down, figuring she was gonna be covered up anyway."
"Nuh-uh," Cody said. "So you're saying the dead lady rolled out of the casket and mooned everybody there?"
Shelby nodded. "Yup. It was ugly. And she had a Tasmanian Devil tattoo on her right butt cheek. Poor Mr. Z still can't talk about it."
"Can't talk about it?" Hunter said, his voice a couple octaves higher than normal. "The poor man's probably going to need therapy for the rest of his life. And forget watching cartoons."
Addy chose that moment to pop in and waved him off. "Therapy, shmerapy. It could have been worse."
"And how, exactly, do you figure that?" Hunter asked.
Addy shrugged. "It could have said This Side Up."
Hunter choked on his tea. I did too, but only because of his reaction. The Mrs. Z story had so many running jokes, I'd lost track. Since Mr. Z was such a good guy though, everybody made it a point to look around to make sure he wasn't in hearing distance before they told one. As a matter of fact, everybody just avoided mentioning the entire incident around him.
"So did you pop in just to throw that zinger or did you have a particular reason?" I asked.
She crossed her arms. "I feel so loved."
I smiled. "You know what I meant. Last time we saw you, you were escorting Ms. Personality somewhere. Did you learn anything relevant?"
"I did, actually," she said. "The next wine-of-the-month delivery is due tomorrow."
"That's weird," I said. "Rose seemed the think she'd just gotten one."
"I don't know anything about that," Addy said, "but I can tell you she said it was due tomorrow."
"So what can we do with that information?" I asked, scooching Shelby over and sitting down beside her in the swing. "I assume it's FedExed right to her door, right?"
"You'd think so, but no," Addy said, shaking his head. "It's shipped USPS."
Hunter furrowed his brow in thought. "So you think it was poisoned along the route here somewhere rather than from the company?"
I tossed it around in my gourd for a moment. "I think that makes more sense than somebody randomly poisoning it before it was shipped. Besides, if that were the case, don't you think we would have heard about that on the news by now? There are probably thousands of members. Surely somebody would have made the connection by now."
"Well," Addy declared, "I’m gonna ride along with him tomorrow, from the post office to the final delivery. I’ll have Belle go with me."
"Do you really think it could be Knuckles, though?" I asked. Knuckles Elmore, so named because he'd broken his fingers in a wringer-washer when he was a kid, was a good ole country boy who'd lived in Keyhole all his life. He'd actually taken to putting my mail in a big baggie right after Addy died because my mailbox had leaked and I couldn't afford a new one. Heaven forbid if a letter from one of the collection agencies got wet.
He shrugged. "You never know. I've seen stranger things. Maybe Ida was a jerk to him once too often, and he got her shipment mixed up with Merriam’s once. They do live close to each other."
Addy rubbed her chin, thinking. "You know, Knuckles had it bad for both those girls in high school. Ida shot him down right in the middle of the cafeteria when he asked her to prom, then was so mean to him over the years, complaining about her mail all the time, that I'm sure he gave up on her. She got him in trouble more than once for no good reason. Merriam, on the other hand, went out with him a couple times after her husband died, but she only meant to be friends. He wanted more."
“That’s even better motive than what I just said,” Hunter replied, pulling up a rocking chair.
"Yeah," I said doubtfully, "but is that really a reason to kill somebody? And why now?"
She lifted a shoulder. "Hell if I know. Why does anybody kill anyone? They're obviously off in the head so it ain't like you can slip 'em into a neat little box."
My tea glass was empty, so I went back inside to refill it and stopped dead in my tracks when the jewelry box glinted at me from the table. I stopped and stared at it, then called for Shelby to come inside.
She shuffled in, kicking off her boots, with everybody else trailing along behind her. "What?"
I pointed toward the box. "Did you get that out of my closet?"
"No," she said, looking at me like I was a nutcase. "First, I wouldn't invade your privacy that way."
I looked pointedly at my T-shirt she was wearing, and she rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean. I wouldn't mess with personal stuff like that. Stealing clothes is different," she said, motioning to my ... err ... her jeans I was wearing.
"Point taken." I took a deep breath and studied the box, trying to figure out what was going on.
"It's gorgeous, though," she said, picking it up and looking at it. "Whoever made it knew what they were doing."
Emma ran her finger over the arch in the horse's neck. "I've been studying crystals and stones," she said absently, examining the box closer, "but I've never seen that particular one—the pink and black, I mean. I do know onyx has something to do with absorbing negative energy, but that's all I can remember off the top of my head. I'd love to take it to my mentor at the council and find out what it is."
"Why?" I asked. "Do you feel anything from it?"
She shook her head. "Nope. Just curious." She wrapped her hands around the box and closed her eyes, opening them after a few seconds. "Still nothing."
"I don't feel anything, either," Shelby added.
"Well that's good anyway," I said, taking the box from her. "The last thing we need is some sort of demon box floating around." Still, I had no idea how it kept ending up in different places. I put a couple wards on it just in case and put it in my closet again until I could have Camille take a look at it. With all the problems Rae was already having, it would suck if I cursed her with her birthday present.
“I don’t know if it’s good or not,” Emma said, crinkling her forehead as they trailed behind me. “Most stones hold at least some energy, so there should be a low-level hum at the very least. The fact that we feel nothing at all is odd.”
Rae's ringtone sounded from my ph
one and I scooped it up as the girls continued to check out the box.
"Hey," she said when I answered. "Are we still doing girls' night tonight?"
"That's sort of up in the air right now," I said, then explained the situation to her. "I need to be here when Ida reveals herself."
"Wow," she said. "Even for us, this has been a weird week."
"It sure has," I said.
As you probably know by now, that was sayin' something.
CHAPTER 31
"SO," EMMA SAID AN HOUR later over pizza Rae'd brought with her. "We need to put ourselves outside the box." She waved her slice in the air. "That's what Mom always says. The worst rut we can get stuck in is looking at the picture from inside it. If the reason isn't obvious, we need to figure out who would want to kill these women without thinking of them as individuals. Think of them as assets or as liabilities."
Emma wanted to follow in her mother's footsteps and work for the council, and it sounded like she was off to a great start.
"She's right," Hunter said, surprising me. "We've been looking at this all wrong. We have to examine the most likely reasons they were killed, then find common ground."
"What about Knuckles?" Rae asked. "You all mentioned something about him, right?"
"I don't think it's him," I said, shaking my head. "I think we should shelve him and keep looking. Besides, Ida and Belle are following him tomorrow."
"Okay," Shelby said, pouring us all another round of tea. "Let’s start with the top three: love, money, revenge."
Cheri Lynn popped in, looking all tan and chic as usual.
"I'm almost afraid to ask why we're talking about the three main reasons for offin' somebody," she said, her almond-shaped eyes narrowing.
"Well hello there, stranger," I said, grinning at her. "Have you already seen everything out in the big wide world there is to see?"