by Linde, K. A.
Hayden looked down at his hands and back up at her. “I’m not sure what happened last night. I wanted what you were offering . . . I still do, but I don’t want you to do it because you felt pressured by anything. I’m happy just to hold you every night. All I know is that I never want to see you cry like that again over something like this.”
He thought that she had been crying because she had felt pressured to move forward. Her mouth was hanging agape and she quickly closed it. Of course, the frustration of not having had sex with Hayden yet had been some of the drive, but most of it had been Brady fucking Maxwell. It was kind of ironic to think that thoughts of Brady had pressured her into sex with Hayden.
“Hayden,” she said, shaking her head. God, it wasn’t his fault. He shouldn’t share the blame in this. “It’s really my fault. Absolutely nothing to do with you. I was emotional last night and thought that sex was the right answer. I . . . God, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
She wanted to cry at the absurdity of the whole thing, but her tears had been used up last night. She needed to be strong for Hayden where she wasn’t before. She needed to realize how valuable he really was.
“It was stupid. I was stupid,” Liz said, splaying her hands flat before her.
She didn’t deserve him. It was something she knew in her gut, but she didn’t care. It might be selfish, but she wasn’t giving him up. This was the right relationship, the right direction for her life, and she had been so long looking over her shoulder that she hadn’t seen what was right in front of her.
“You’re not stupid.” Hayden walked forward and placed his hands firmly on her arms. “Look at me.” She did. “I would never date someone who was stupid. You’re brilliant and funny and headstrong and unbelievably gorgeous. Certainly not stupid,” he said soothingly.
Liz managed a smile as she stared up into his hazel eyes so filled with emotion. “You’re pretty wonderful. You know that, right?”
“I guess that means you’ll keep me?”
“I wasn’t planning on letting you go.”
“Good.” Hayden’s lips landed lightly on hers and she smiled into the kiss. The simplicity of being with Hayden compared to the complication of Brady was so starkly contrasting. Liz knew relationships were never easy. They took work, but with so few barriers barring her and Hayden’s way, it didn’t seem like work at all. The work was keeping Brady out, but after last night, Liz had a feeling things were going to get easier. It was over, long gone, and now he had found someone else.
The time had passed to get over it.
So she would.
They stayed like that until the chill started to seep into Liz and she forced Hayden to go take a shower. Then she curled up on the couch, snuggled in front of the fire, and promptly fell back asleep.
The smell of bacon woke Liz and she stared around groggily at the living room, forgetting for a moment how she had gotten there. When she reached the kitchen, Hayden greeted her with a kiss and a plate of food. Her stomach grumbled, reminding her that she hadn’t eaten dinner last night.
Shit! And Hayden had cooked dinner. Bad girlfriend 101.
She made up for it by devouring everything on her plate and downing a full glass of orange juice. It seemed she was dehydrated, and she poured herself another.
“So, how much work do you have to do today?” Liz asked, sipping on her second glass.
“No work today. I checked the weather. It’s supposed to snow again this afternoon and stick through Monday.”
Liz’s eyes opened wide. “No school Monday?”
Hayden laughed. “They won’t announce until Sunday night at the earliest, but we’re snowed in today. I think we should get dressed and go play.”
“You want me to freeze my ass off in the snow?”
“I like your ass. You’d better not do anything to it.”
“You’re the one who wants me to risk it in the cold.”
Hayden shook his head. “You really don’t do well with cold, do you?”
“Not at all.”
“We’ll layer you up. You can wear some of my ski gear.”
The exuberance on his face at the prospect of playing outside in the snow won her over. She wasn’t a fan, but she was sure it would be better to be out there freezing with him than inside refusing him something he clearly enjoyed.
So Liz threw on layer after layer of clothing, several pairs of socks under her boots, and then Hayden added gloves, a scarf, and an oversize beanie. She felt ridiculous, but she was practically sweating inside, so maybe it would do in the cold.
They walked out the back door and were hit with a bitter wind. Liz shivered despite the layers.
“My nose is cold,” she murmured under her breath.
Hayden heard and just laughed as he stomped out through the snow.
Liz surveyed Hayden’s backyard. It was small, since it was just a college house that dead-ended into a wooded lot. The surrounding houses had fences built around their backyards, so Hayden’s looked partially enclosed. Everything in sight had a layer of soft white snow on it. Hayden’s footprints were the only things that marred the picturesque view.
“Hey,” Hayden called.
When Liz turned toward him, she got a snowball right to her side. She grunted on impact and then gasped. “I can’t believe you. Jerk!”
Another snowball hit her and she glared at him before reaching down to grab a fistful for herself. She chucked it his direction, missing him by a few feet, and he laughed at her.
“Come on. You can do better than that,” he said, throwing another snowball at her.
She lobbed another misguided snowball his way and growled in frustration. “If I had a tennis racket, I would kick your ass,” she yelled, stomping out through the snow toward him.
Liz managed to duck his next throw and scooped up a heap of snow, ran, and tossed all of it into his face. Hayden cried out and feverishly tried to brush the snow off of his skin. Some of it was ducking under his shirt and he hopped up and down as the cold slithered down his chest.
“You’re going to get it for that,” he said, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her in close.
Liz stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cold lips. “I’m already freezing because of you,” she said softly.
“No, you’re not. Forget about it. We still need to make a snowman and snow angels and build an igloo.”
“I am not building an igloo,” she said with a shake of her head. “You’re nuts.” She turned to head back inside. No way could she stand the cold much longer. Her nose was already an ice cube and she hadn’t even been out that long.
Hayden grabbed her arm and stopped her progression. “You can’t leave already. At least help me with the snowman,” he pleaded. His eyes were wide and almost green in the light. His cheeks and nose were flushed pink, and the corners of his mouth tugged up into a smile.
“How do you do that?” she asked.
“Do what?”
“Win.”
“I always win,” he said. “What did I win?”
“Where do we start on the snowman?” she grumbled.
The afternoon disappeared in the blink of an eye. One minute they were building a lopsided snowman with a pickle for a nose and Oreos for eyes, having a snowball fight, and finding enough extra space to create snow angels. The next minute Hayden was helping her peel off her wet outer layers of clothing while she desperately tried to bring feeling back into her fingers and toes.
Snow started to fall again as Liz snuggled up next to Hayden on the couch. The fire was roaring before them and each had a mug of hot chocolate cooling on the coffee table. They popped in a movie and Liz nestled deeper under the mountain of blankets they had dragged from the closet. Hayden stroked her hair softly and Liz fought sleep.
Despite what had happened last night and how awk
ward the morning had been, she felt content. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been so happy and satisfied. She didn’t need anything else in that moment but Hayden’s arm wrapped around her while she was lying back against his chest.
She felt peaceful, as if all her concerns had momentarily vanished and she was awash with a newfound belief in her own relationship. She fit with Hayden as perfectly as she did in his arms. It all just made sense.
Hayden’s lips found her ear and kissed softly down to her earlobe. He sucked it into his mouth and she breathed out heavily, her body instantly pushing back against his on the couch. His hand trailed lightly down her side as his mouth moved to kiss along the gentle curve of her neck.
Liz’s heart picked up tempo quickly. The sleep she had been fighting to hold back disappeared entirely when his hand skimmed the front of her pants. Her body arched against him, urging him to continue. Taking her invitation, he delved beneath the material and slid his finger against the soft material of her thong. Liz swallowed hard, unable to keep her breathing under control. His finger brushed against her clit and she moaned in the back of her throat.
Ignoring the desperate bucking of her hips to get him to return to that spot, he ran his hand slowly up her right thigh and then the left. Her body arched against him. She was already turned on from his teasing kisses against her neck and the way he was moving his hands just out of reach.
Then he was there, slipping his finger under her thong and swiping it against her already wet lips. Fuck! How was she so turned on? She could feel the beginning of an orgasm already rippling through her body, but with those teasing touches, Hayden could hold her off as long as he kept it up.
He circled her sensitive area with his thumb and she dropped her head back. Her eyes closed of their own accord. All she could think about was how close she was. She wouldn’t even need his tongue at this point. If he just put his fingers up in her, she would find the release she so desperately craved.
“Hayden,” she murmured as he kept up the gentle swirling motion. “Fuck! I’m so close. Finger me.”
He turned his head toward her and they started kissing just as he plunged two fingers deep inside of her. She gasped at the feel of him, and he used the opportunity to stick his tongue inside her mouth. They kissed as he started to move in and out while continuing to press her toward the edge. Her body shuddered from the pressure as a climax hit her and she clenched around his fingers.
“You’re kind of hot when you tell me what to do,” he whispered against her neck.
Liz smiled lazily and adjusted how she was sitting. Her ass rubbed against his dick and her breath caught. Shit! He wasn’t kidding. He was rock-hard through his pants.
She rolled over to face him and started kissing him again. Her hand moved into his pants. She gripped his dick in her hand and he groaned her name. It was seductive—she really fucking liked the way he said Lizzie. She pumped her hand up and down a few times before brushing her thumb against the tip. He responded instantly, bucking against her hand.
Bending down, Liz started pulling his pants off his hips and down his legs. Then her mouth found the tip and she swished her tongue along the sensitive skin. She brought him all the way into her mouth and then started up a rhythm—in then out, swish, in and out. His body responded wonderfully to the way she pulled all the way back and then wrapped her lips around him until they met the base. He must have been really fucking turned on, because his body was already telling her that he was close.
“Lizzie,” he said, stilling her where she sat.
She almost ignored him, but something in his voice made her pull back.
When their eyes met, he smiled with a knowing glint in his eye. Then he rolled her over on the couch until her body was pressed underneath. He pulled her pants down her legs so she was lying before him in just her underwear, and then started grinding against her.
Her legs came up immediately to wrap around his waist as he thrust forward against the thin material of her thong. She was soaking through from her earlier orgasm and all she could think about at this point was the way his dick was rubbing up against her.
“Hayden,” she moaned, her eyes closing as the material shifted and he slid against bare skin. Oh God! She could not contain how badly she wanted him in that moment, and she didn’t want to. Her fingers brushed at the side of her underwear. He seemed to understand her meaning. He yanked them to the floor, found a condom, and rolled it on.
She brought her hips back up to meet him, so ready to feel him. Her body was shaking with the anticipation.
He moved his cock down before her opening and she whimpered. Four months. She had waited four months. An interminable period of time. She wanted him to take her. She wanted to be his, mind, body, and soul.
His eyes met her for approval and she lifted her hips to meet him in response. Then he slid easily deep into her.
Hayden felt amazing. Perfect. Just as she had always expected him to. And the moment was right. Perfect. Just as she had always wanted it to be with him.
He started up a slow rhythm, feeling her walls expand to let him fill her and then pulling back out. Then he thrust back into her over and over and over again. She could feel her body crumbling, falling apart, giving in to Hayden’s every movement. Her breathing was uneven and her mind blissfully empty, save for the passion and energy radiating from her and the need she felt for this man.
Liz met him for each stroke, but both of them were already so close. She could feel her body tightening around him each time, aching to let loose. She opened her mouth to tell him how close she was and then she exploded around him, her lower half pulsing around his cock. Hayden’s entire body shuddered and then he came deep inside of her.
He dropped forward and rested his head on her shoulder. Neither one could even begin to try for coherent speech. All Liz could think about was how incredible that had felt.
She knew this changed everything.
But she was glad for the change. Finally glad for the change.
Chapter 9
Q&A
A month after the snow day, Liz sat in front of a crowded auditorium for the first-ever colloquium on political journalism at UNC. Today was the big day that she and Professor Mires had been working toward all year. A year of work culminated in one day of activity, and all Liz could think about was the fact that she had to give a speech. Her palms were sweating, her throat felt as if she had swallowed a bottle of cotton balls, and her wavy blond hair was sticking to the back of her neck. She hated public speaking. Hated it. She always had.
That was part of the reason she wanted to be a reporter. She was fantastic one-on-one or even in a crowd of reporters, and even better on paper. But she hadn’t signed up to speak in front of a large group of people and have them all stare at her. She had purposely avoided broadcast journalism, because she would rather be behind the camera than in front of it. How did people become so comfortable doing this?
She was about to present her research with Professor Mires to a roomful of distinguished professors in their fields, some prominent reporters for big newspapers, and who knew who else could be in attendance. She thought she might be sick.
Sure, she knew the education policy material like no other, and she had worked her ass off to make everything perfect, but she still felt like a really small fish here. It was a feeling that she didn’t like.
“Okay. Let’s get started,” Professor Mires said, quieting the room. “Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for attending this panel in undergraduate research. I would like to start off this session with one of my own students, Miss Liz Dougherty. She will be presenting her paper, ‘Education Policy and New Media in Political Journalism,’ to you today. Take the floor, Liz.”
“Thank you, Dr. Mires,” Liz said. She stood demurely and smoothed out her knee-length cream pencil dress, which belted around the middle with a black buckle. Sh
e had taken off her matching black blazer, because the room was warm enough without her freaking out. Her black heels clicked across the hardwood floor as she took the stage. Her eyes roamed the room, but she took it all in in a haze.
Somehow she started speaking. The words tumbled out of her mouth in coherent sentences that made the people sitting in the room nod their heads along with her. A few older gentlemen in the middle stared stonily up at her and she quickly averted her gaze. She hoped they always looked pissed off and weren’t angry about her presentation.
She had a fifteen-minute time slot, and when she reached the halfway point, Dr. Mires gave her a reassuring smile. It eased more of the tension off of her shoulders and she barreled forward. She could do this. She didn’t want to do it every day or anything, but she was doing all right so far.
The door at the back of the room opened and Liz’s eyes flicked up to the interruption in her speech.
Brady Maxwell walked into the room.
Her tongue tied, her face flushed, and she stood in front of everyone like a blubbering idiot. He closed the door quietly and stood in the back of the auditorium, his arms crossed, leaning against the back wall.
She couldn’t believe he had come to her panel. She knew that he was going to be at the colloquium for a politicians’ roundtable this afternoon, but she had expected him to attend his event and then be gone.
But no. Brady was currently in the room for her presentation.
Fuck.
Her memory did not do justice to the man. Even at this distance she could see the contours of his face, the sleek three-piece suit, the confident attitude, those dark brown eyes. Okay . . . maybe she couldn’t see those, but her imagination sure filled in the details.
What the hell had she been talking about before this?
Education policy. Right.
Liz broke eye contact with Brady across the room and looked down at the paper she was clutching in her hands with a death grip. She took a moment to collect herself. She knew Brady was watching her. She could feel his eyes all over her, and she felt vulnerable and exposed. How long in her dark times after walking away had she imagined him coming to find her and begging for her to come back? How many times had she thought about that beautiful face, reconstructing it in her mind? How many times had she wanted those eyes on her, assessing her, judging her, loving her?