by M. L. Giles
Tyrone, Carl, and Bethany were all quiet. We stood in the hallway, right outside Colton’s room, listening to what the trainee doctor had to say. Curious onlookers watched from the lobby, keeping a respectful distance.
“What about our blood?” Bethany broke the silence. It still amazed me that this buff woman had such a beautiful voice. “If we are all AB blood type, can we not donate?”
“Uhm, I think it depends on if Colton is AB positive or negative,” the doctor explained. “We do have the equipment to do these tests, thanks to Bethany’s group.”
“How long will it take for him to recover with a blood transfusion?” I asked.
“Hard to say. If we get blood in him soon, fix the cut, and keep him rested and hydrated, maybe four days – possibly more. He will still need to rest his arm for a while longer, regardless of how fast he recovers.”
“Right. Let’s get to work.” Carl grabbed our attention with a loud clap of his hands. “Tyrone! You work on getting people sorted for donations. Also, help the doctor out with anything he asks for.”
“Sure. Should I start now?” Tyrone asked.
Carl nodded. “Yes. Until we have the blood situation sorted, I want the doctor fixing up the arm. That understood you two?”
The doctor and Tyrone nodded, then walked off to begin their respective tasks. This left Bethany, Carl, and me alone.
“Start talking, Grayson,” Carl demanded, immediately turning to face me. “I want to know every fucking detail of what happened. Everything!”
I looked down the hallway. The crowd of onlookers had grown.
“Maybe we should go somewhere more private?” I suggested, gesturing towards the crowd watching us like hawks.
Bethany, Carl, and I had gone to the private meeting room on the third floor that only the higher-ups used.
Inside was the same as any other double hotel room we all had, only it had been stripped of everything. The only furniture in the room was a large wooden table in its centre with plenty of random, nonmatching chairs around it.
We were all sitting around the table, eventually being joined by Pearl. She looked miserable. Evan wasn’t anywhere to be seen, for some reason.
Carl was adamant he wanted to know every detail of what had happened, both before and after Aiden’s people showed up.
I spent a long time detailing everything I could, leaving out the more private, intimate details.
“Are you absolutely sure you didn’t leave town or were followed by anyone at any point?” Carl asked me in a sharp tone.
“It’s not like this happened last week, Carl… My memory isn’t that bad.” I rolled my eyes at him.
“I’m just making sure you couldn’t have accidently lured any of Aiden’s people into town.”
“And I’m telling you, oh dearest Carl, we didn’t.” I wasn’t trying to wind him up this time, I was genuinely annoyed by all his questions. It felt more like a police interrogation when questioned by him.
“Why do you always have this fucking attitude problem, faggot?!” he snapped angrily at me.
“Nice… Real nice! ‘Faggot’, he calls me. You do realize your leader, Colton, is also a ‘faggot’, right?”
Bethany stayed quiet while Carl and I kept arguing. I could see her frustration growing slowly. Pearl remained silent, still looking miserable.
“Yeah, I’m fully aware Colton’s bisexual,” he said. “He’s the only reason I stopped hating gays. But you are making me reconsider!”
“Where the hell is all this anger coming from, Carl?”
“You really want to know? Fine!” Carl stood up and walked around the table to me. I also stood up when he got close, meeting him face to face. “What happened to Colton is your fault!”
“MY fault?! How’d you get to that conclusion?ˮ
“Because it was your stupid suggestion of a break that put you two out there in the first place! We’re just lucky he killed those three people before they caused us any problems.”
“Lucky? LUCKY?!” I took a step forward, getting right into Carl’s face. Probably a mistake on my part, since I could now smell his stench full on. “Killing people is never a ‘lucky’ thing, asshole!”
Carl pressed both his palms against my chest, giving me a slight push backwards. “If those three had found us, they might’ve gone back to Aiden and brought him here. Is that what you want? For all of us to be burnt alive, the same way that guard you snuck past was? What Colton did was buy us time!”
“That’s enough,” Bethany said calmly.
“No! Grayson needs—ˮ
“I said that’s enough,” Bethany made a pose like she was about to leap off her seat and rip his balls off.
Carl reluctantly backed off from me, going back around the table to his chair beside Bethany. I didn’t blame him, I wouldn’t mess with a woman with arms like hers.
I fell back onto my chair, almost humbled by Carl’s words. As much as I hated to admit it, he had a point – if Aiden comes here, there was every possibility we would all be incinerated.
“…How did Aiden’s people know they were looking for a hotel in the first place?” I asked, trying to get the conversation back on track.
Bethany turned to Carl with a worried look on her face. The two exchanged quiet words before turning back to address me.
“There are two options,” Bethany said. “Either my group was followed back here, or…ˮ
“Someone told Aiden where we were,” Carl finished what Bethany was having trouble saying.
“Obviously someone was followed, then,” I stated, instantly dismissing the second option. “You saw everyone’s reaction at the bar when I told them about what happened at St Michael’s hospital; no one would give us up after that.”
Carl tapped his finger on the table a few times, then tentatively said, “Actually, it is possible someone gave us up.”
I leaned forward on the table. There was something they weren’t telling me, I could see that now. “Who?”
Pearl finally spoke. “Evan.”
“Colton’s dad? What about him?” I asked her, unsure where this going.
She looked up at me, her eyes showed signs of tears about to erupt. “Group One never came back. They’re missing.”
It occurred to me that Group One was the same group my friends were in. My stomach twisted into knots. “Wendy, Thomas, and Evan? You don’t think…?”
Bethany placed her hands together on the table, trying to look composed. “Given current events, it’s possible all three were caught. They may have been tortured for information.”
A thought popped up in my mind: if Thomas had been caught and tortured for information, he would’ve easily broken.
Darkness came. Almost everyone had already retired to their rooms after being told the situation by Bethany. The news of the missing group combined with the fact Aiden’s people were in town earlier was no doubt keeping most awake. Carl had doubled the number of watchmen on the roof that evening, telling them all to be on alert.
Initially, I had told them we needed to move the group, just as Colton had told me earlier that day. Aiden clearly knew something about our location, making us sitting ducks if we stayed here, in this hotel, for too long.
Carl rejected the suggestion, telling me, “There’s always the chance Group One is just late returning. We must give them time. Besides, moving Colton now is too dangerous. I’m not putting him at risk.”
Carl was prepared to put everyone in danger just to give people a chance to return and give Colton time to recover.
I envied him for being capable of making such a call.
A newfound respect grew in me for Carl Sedine. Even though he knew the dangers of staying put, he was still willing to do it. Why? Because his heart was in the right place – unlike mine.
He could make that difficult decision of forgoing self-preservation, risking everyone else here, just to give others a chance… These decisions, where there is clearly no correct answer, are hard to
make. I personally could never bring myself to risk my own life for the sake of others.
Most of my life I have been selfish. I make no secret of caring only for the thrills I can get, or the rewards at the end. The only person I’d ever really been selfless for was Gloria.
I’ve said before that it was me who dragged Wendy and Thomas out of danger on several occasions, but the sad truth was that I would’ve left them behind in a heartbeat if I’d have believed, even for a moment, that I couldn’t help them.
It’s not because I didn’t like them, it’s because I don’t like being put at risk by others.
Maybe I was wrong when I called Carl an asshole. Maybe it’s me who is the asshole.
It took me having to grow fond of these people for my eyes to open, showing me my own true colours. That colour was black; as black as the clothes I wore, or the shadows I liked to hide in.
Grayson Ryder: the coward who can outrun anyone! The man who would leave friends behind if it meant staying alive! …The boy who hated what he was.
If you strip me of my selfish, thrill-seeking tendencies, who am I? Just a cheeky bastard who is good at playing hide-and-seek.
I wanted to be someone who could make those difficult decisions that Carl made, not just run to the shadows at the first sign of danger.
Fuck, I even found myself wanting to be someone who could’ve told Colton, “I would kill to protect you.”
That evening, as my own thoughts poisoned my mind, I washed the blood off Colton’s skin and out from his beard as he slept. The doctor had sedated him earlier before leaving me alone with him. A single candle flickered on the table he had once flipped to get to me.
“Colton,” I whispered quietly beside him, red-stained wash cloth still in my hand, “I could really use you right now… I need you, man.”
Chapter 16
Selfless.
Playing Pretend.
The sound of metal clanking woke me up from a poor sleep. I opened my eyes quickly, still in a slight panic from the nightmare I’d been having of Aiden burning us all.
“Sorry, Grayson. Didn’t mean to wake you.” It was Tyrone. Poor bugger looked like he had been awake all night. Even his usually pristine bandana had a dirty smudge on it.
He was changing an empty blood bag on a metal stand for a full one.
Before I’d gone to sleep, I’d crawled onto the bed with Colton, lying right beside him with my arm over his chest. He must’ve woken up at some point, since his arm was draped over my shoulder.
“It’s fine, Tyrone.” I yawned, letting my head flop back down onto Colton’s chest. “Any news?”
“Not a lot. Carl has told everyone to pack essentials, in case we need to get out quickly. Potential weak points in the hotel are being fixed up also.”
“Mhm, smart. Anything on Evan, Thomas, or Wendy?”
Tyrone went motionless for a second, telling me all I needed to know with body language alone. “Nothing yet. Carl and Bethany were thinking of asking you to sneak back into St Michael’s hospital again. We could really do with knowing if the missing three are there.”
The excitement I’d usually feel at such a challenge wasn’t there this time – can’t imagine why.
“Going to that hospital is like donating a kidney: you should only do it once,” I said.
“Yeah, thought so. Given what you told us about your last trip, no one blames you.” Tyrone looked down at me from the other side of the bed, smiling. “Get some more sleep if you like, bud. If anything changes with the boss, let us know.”
I gave him a thumbs up and closed my eyes, falling asleep quite quickly after Tyrone left the room.
Just before I fell asleep, I gave Colton the lightest of squeezes.
The second time I woke up was due to needing the bathroom.
I slipped carefully out from under Colton’s arm, trying not to wake him up, then went to take a leak. Upon my return, Colton was looking at me with bleary, half-opened eyes.
“Oh! You’re awake. Feeling any better? You certainly look better,” I said, referring to the fact his face had more colour.
“Feelin’ pretty sleepy,” he answered, smiling weakly with dry, cracked lips.
I made my way back over to him, sitting beside him on the bed. “Not surprised you’re still tired. The doctor gave you something to help you sleep better.”
“Can you do me two favours, Gray?”
“Yeah, anything.”
“Don’t let ‘em give me more of that sleepy shit.”
I gave a nod. “No problem. What’s the second favour?”
He raised up his arm. “C’mon over here.”
It was an invitation I couldn’t refuse. I lay down beside him, once again letting his arm curl around my shoulder.
“I’d have been really pissed off with you if you’d died, asshole,” I joked.
He coughed some, letting out a laugh. “Glad to see your sense of humour ain’t gone anywhere… Y’know, I had a dream ‘bout you.”
“Was it dirty? People have those about me all the time.”
“Ha, nah. I dreamt we were livin’ on a big field. We had cattle an’ this cosy lookin’ farm house.”
“Seeing you in farming overalls, getting all sweaty from hard work, sounds good to me. What happened next?” I asked, lightly brushing my fingertips over his chest hair.
“The wife an’ kids came over for a visit. My old man was livin’ with us too. He was so damn happy to see his grandkids… I might’ve lost my family, but at least I still got my dad. An’ meetin’ you was one of the best things to ever happen to me.”
It wounded me to hear him talk about his father. Colton still had no idea Evan wasn’t back yet.
I didn’t want to say anything. Knowing Colton, he would try to rush his recovery if he knew what was going on. Right now, it was best to keep him in the dark about Group One.
“Carl’s doing pretty good at keeping things running without you.” I tried to change the subject from his father.
“Great. Long as we’re packed an’ ready to go soon, we might get away from Aiden safely.” Colton went quiet for a moment while stroking my shoulder. “Still… Can’t help wonderin’ how those three knew to look here for us.”
“Carl and Bethany think maybe someone was followed back,” I lied.
“Wouldn’t be surprised if it was my old man,” he laughed weakly. “That old bastard was a great soldier, so I heard, but he ain’t good at being discreet. Guessin’ you know that already, though.”
We both lay there in silence for a while. My mind drifted away, mulling over everything I’d just heard. Deep inside me, I could feel my heart straining at the thought of Colton not seeing his father again, and there was nothing anyone could do about it.
No, that’s not true… There was something someone could do – me.
After about ten minutes, Colton fell back to sleep. I slipped out from under his arm, leaving him to go find Carl and Bethany.
“You what?!” Carl shouted in surprise at what I’d told him. “We should tell Bethany immediately.”
Carl and I went from the bar straight to Bethany’s room on the second floor. When we knocked on the door, she opened it just enough to see only half of her face.
“What is it?” she asked.
“Can we come in, Beth? Grayson here just told me something that you need to hear.”
“Er, can you wait for me downstairs? Or the meeting room? I’m not decent.”
Carl went red faced and turned his head to one side instantly. It was a serious overreaction from him.
“Huh? Why is Carl blushing? It’s not like we can see Bethany’s shoulder boulders with this door in the way,” I thought.
“S-Sure. Meeting room,” Carl told her before quickly making his way down the hall. I followed him.
It took a moment for what just happened to register, but when it did, I had to tease Carl about it. “Woooooo… You like her!”
“Shut up! She’s just a friend,” he sna
pped back at me.
Carl’s mouth might have said one thing, but those chunky, blushing cheeks of his told quite the opposite.
Bethany joined us in the meeting room, wearing a black, bra-like gym top and matching shorts that clung tightly to her muscular thighs. Her short hair stuck up a little at the back, like she had been resting her head on a pillow.
All three of us sat around the meeting table; Carl and Bethany on one side, myself opposite them.
“Tell her what you told me, Grayson,” Carl began.
I looked over at Bethany. “Colton wants to be taken off the sleepy stuff.”
“…The other thing…” Carl moaned.
“Ah, okay. I’ve decided to go back to St Michael’s.”
“What?! I mean, why?” she asked, trying to sound calm upon hearing my words but giving away a slight tone of surprise.
“Evan means a lot to Colton, that’s why. I want to find out for certain if he’s been taken there or not,” I explained. “Same with Wendy and Thomas.”
Carl addressed Bethany. “Your thoughts? I need a second opinion on this.”
Bethany rocked back and forward on her chair, lifting the front two feet off the ground. “Tyrone mentioned you said no already. Why the change of heart?”
“If Colton finds out his dad is missing, and we don’t know where he is, he’s going to be pissed off. Plus, I—” Ugh, I paused, feeling somewhat uncomfortable at how cliché my next statement was going to be. “I care about him too much to see the big guy hurt… I need to do something.”
Carl’s face twisted, like he had stepped in dog shit. “That’s the lamest ex—ˮ
“That’s so beautiful!” Bethany cut him off. She was swooning over my words, making me feel even more embarrassed than I already was. “I wish someone would do that for me. You must really love Colton.”
It was rare for me to blush, yet here I was, cheeks redder than Carl’s earlier.
“Uh, y-yeah…” Carl let out a hackling cough. “What do you plan to do then, Grayson?”
“I’m going to get my sneaking clothes cleaned firstly, since they’ve still got a lot of blood on. Once that’s done, I’ll drive over to the hospital alone and scout the place out. Maybe see if I can find a way in again.”