by A. M. Rose
November 11th, ‘04
Nothing works! I’ve tried everything this stupid book says and NOTHING!
He had to force himself to read through the entries that followed. The years... YEARS Troy took to try every depraved thing he could think of to fix something that was never broken. He felt physical pain at the thought of what Drew went through. He was sick to his stomach at the idea that one of those things could have taken Drew away forever.
He flipped the pages, raging and despairing as Troy's madness took over completely in light of his failures. He reached the last filled page, and he wasn't sure he'd be able to go through it. Because if whatever happened was enough to finally stop Troy...
February 14th, ‘10
There’s one more thing left to try; it’ll take some improvisation, but I can do it. Reg’s getting scared, fucking baby, he just doesn’t have the balls to see this through. He was the one who suggested merging the spells in the first place! He says it’s dangerous to mix spells, like I need to be told that like I’m in the 3rd grade again. The risk is worth it. It’s been too many years, and this could be the answer finally.
We’re gonna do it tonight.
I just need to get Drew out to the woods one more time. When this is all over, he’ll thank me, I know he will. Everyone will.
March 10th, ‘10
I got a new lead…
The pages were blank from this point onwards.
“You’re a monster!” he shouted at the book accusingly. “There’s nothing wrong with him! You were supposed to protect him and you… you…” He couldn’t finish, throat tightening to the point where all words were strangled. Mason let it fall from his numb fingertips, crying so hard he could barely see.
Bile rose in his throat, and he covered his lips with his fingers, trying his best not to throw up as he imagined how much pain Drew must have been in. How scared and alone he must have felt for years. All the anger and resentment he felt morphed into blinding fear, and the only thing he could think of was Drew. He needed to see him. He needed to make sure he was okay.
He fumbled for his phone, mistyping a message before curling up into a ball trying to find some sort of relief from the warzone his chest had just been turned into.
His head was spinning with all he had learnt. His whole world shifting as everything he thought he knew was put under a new light that illuminated all those shadowed places that were hidden from him before. How had he missed something so big happening when Drew had been his sole focus since they were children?
Mason didn’t know how much time had really passed between one wet blink and the next, but when the knock on the door came, he burst from his protective ball and rushed to the door, ripping it open.
Drew stood there, looking as wane and anxious as he did in the bakery, but he was here and breathing and…
“Say something,” he demanded on a hiccup, desperate to hear his voice.
Drew looked between his eyes. “I’m sorry, Mason.”
The words tolled in his heart and he closed the distance between them, wrapped his hands around his neck and yanked him down into a kiss.
Drew may not have been made of magic, but as he held Mason in his arms, their lips connected for the first time in a decade, he was sure he knew exactly what being magic felt like. Because there was no way anything in the world was more magic than the man standing in front of him on his tiptoes, cheeks stained with tears and body trembling as he kissed him.
Drew didn’t want to waste time questioning how they got there. He didn’t want to stop what they were doing to ask Mason where this came from. He just wanted to have this moment for as long as Mason allowed it. So, he bent down to wrap his arms around Mason’s waist, lifting him up slightly to have easier access to his lips. Mason’s hands wrapped around his neck, and Drew took a step to the side to pin the smaller man against the wall.
The hallway they were in was quiet, and Drew could have sworn the light thumping sound he thought he could hear was the sound of his heart coming back to life. One hand still holding Mason up against him, he propped the other one against the wall, caging Mason’s head. He pressed their bodies closer together and let out a deep moan when Mason wrapped his legs around his waist. He was coiled around him like a vine, returning his kisses with a heat that was so unfamiliar.
The only other time they were together, they were both young, inexperienced, and scared. He could tell there was so much more to Mason now, but he refused to think about anyone else having him this way. He wanted to stay in his own head where he was the only person that ever got to touch Mason like that. He screwed his eyes shut and focused on the taste of Mason, his weight in his arms and the warmth he was radiating as he clung to him. His lips were moving, and Drew finally tuned in that it wasn’t just kissing anymore.
“So sorry…” Mason whispered against his lips, stealing his breath with those two words. The other man shook his head slowly, fighting with saying more before diving back into kissing him.
“Mason…” he breathed reverently into his mouth between kisses, pressing him further into the wall.
“You didn’t deserve that, Drew. There is nothing wrong with you…” he kept whispering, delivering skin-burning kisses after each word, and Drew was losing it. He couldn’t think of anything else but Mason. He was running through his veins, echoing in every beat of his heart. Mason was the very breath he was breathing, and he was sure if he separated from him, then he wouldn’t have survived.
“God…” he gasped at a sudden bite delivered to his bottom lip.
“Kiss me back, Drew,” he demanded in a shaky voice.
“Mason…” he tried again, but the other man clenched his eyes shut and squeezed him tighter.
“Please… I need… I need to know you’re here, and okay,” he said, new tears running down his cheeks, making their kiss taste of salt and sadness. Drew hated it and adored it at the same time.
He swooped back in, kissing him, getting lost in the feel of him, in his scent and the memories of the last time he had him like this. Vulnerable and open, pressed beneath his body.
“I’m okay…” he promised. Any other moment of his life and that statement would have been a filthy lie. But right there, in Mason’s hallway, with Mason plastered to him, he had never felt more okay, or more alive.
“Please…” Mason trembled again, hands running over his back, nails clawing at him like he was trying to bury himself under his skin. Didn’t he know he was already there?
“What do you need?” he asked on a whisper, bending his head to reach behind Mason’s ear and kiss the tender skin there.
“You… need to make sure…” he said, and to anyone else it would make no sense. But Mason could change a million times over, and Drew would still be able to read between the lines. Mason needed to know he was alive and well. He needed the confirmation that Troy didn’t destroy him.
This wasn’t about them trying again at all. It wasn’t Mason waving his magical hand and erasing their history. This was survival. This was desperation and confusion and rage at the fact that someone could be so cruel to someone who, at one point in your life, meant something to you. And Drew was lucky to know Mason loved him, all those years ago. He had told him.
“I’m here,” he said, and then words were ripped from his lips as Mason attacked again, tearing at his clothes, trembling fingers ripping his shirt away, squirming until he was let down.
Taking Drew’s hand, he led him towards the small bedroom that held the softest bed he had ever seen. But his eyes never lingered on anything for too long. Too focused on learning every change the years had etched onto Mason’s skin.
The tiny little scar on the side of his neck he longed to know where it came from. The slightest dust of chest hair he had always grumbled about not really having. The strength in his legs he didn’t have when he wrapped them around Drew’s naked body and pulled him closer all those years ago.
Years that had been kind. He was just as beautif
ul as Drew remembered.
“Take it off…” he heard that grumbly voice and tuned back to reality to find him gripping his belt buckle. He was pulling and growing frustrated more and more as the belt refused to give in. Finally fed up he pulled it with all the strength he had, ripping it out of the belt loops and sending it clear across the room. It was like that little success fueled the fire inside Mason. He slithered down Drew’s body, removing his clothes with a single-minded focus, and seemingly between one breath and the other, both of them were naked and wrapped around each other on the soft bed.
Drew’s back was plastered against the sheets, and Mason was straddling his thighs, naked bodies pressed so tight together sweat was already glistening on their skin. He raised his hands up to skim them over pale calves and smooth thighs, finally ending with his fingers fanning over Mason’s ass. And he couldn’t believe he was there again. Touching him. Being allowed to see him as he lost composure and turned into a creature of instinct and pure desire.
All the while, Mason hadn’t stopped the rain of kisses he showered over his forehead, cheeks, lips, neck and chest. He was everywhere. His hands were everywhere, and just like last time, Drew could feel every kiss and every touch branding him so deep he felt he’d have him etched into his bones.
He was so painfully hard he thought he’d burst, but he wanted to follow Mason and see what he wanted. He needed to know where the smaller man wanted to take this. Drew would take whatever he was willing to give. Anything Mason gave was better than the nothing he had lived with for the past decade. A decade was too long to go without having Mason close, and he wanted to make up for every minute he had lost.
Mason started a slow press of his hips into Drew’s, and it made them both moan with need. Drew reached up and wrapped his arms around his waist to pull him down tighter, swallowing his gasps and reaching a gentle finger down his crack.
It made Mason shiver and break the kiss, lifting his head to look down into him, and Drew found himself lost in those blue eyes again. There was a small crease on Mason’s forehead and a moment of focus and clarity in his eyes. For a moment, Drew thought this was where it would end. Mason would wake up from whatever trance he was in and push him away.
Resigned, he loosened his hold on Mason’s waist. But instead of pulling away, Mason whined and shook his head.
“Hold me,” he whispered against Drew’s lips, pushing himself closer. His fingers ran down Drew’s chest and sharp nails caught the tender skin there, breaking it in places, leaving a sting behind that Drew loved more than anything. He wanted memories of Mason on him. Always.
“Okay,” Drew whispered holding him gently, but Mason shook his head.
“Tighter,” he demanded, and Drew coiled his arms around him, squeezing as hard as he could without breaking him. He was so small in his arms. Fragile in a way nobody would imagine when talking to him.
“I’m right here,” Drew said again, and the sudden attack on his lips made it impossible to say anything else. All reserves were broken, all rules completely gone.
Mason was all he could see; The only taste left in his mouth, and he wanted it to stay that way forever. Drew’s fingers found a way to places he hadn’t touched in so long, but he could remember as if it was yesterday. Just how soft the skin of Mason’s back was. How he shivered when his shoulders were kissed.
He recalled how ticklish his knees were and the tiny freckles he had on his collarbones. He hoped he could remember what brought out his sighs last time. He hoped he remembered how to kiss him right. How to touch him and make him moan.
He didn’t know where the little bottle of lube came from, and he didn’t really care. All he knew was that his fingers were slippery and cold, and Mason was right there, still on top of him, still writhing and moaning, waiting for him.
They both waited for too long. Drew didn’t want to make them wait anymore.
He reached behind Mason and found his entrance with the tips of his fingers. His other hand cradled his head where Mason buried it in his neck, teeth biting and lips sucking bruises just underneath the line of his beard.
“Ready?” he asked, as he circled his rim with slick fingers, catching the edges slightly, giving just a hint of what was to come. Mason moaned, biting his neck as he nodded, clearly beyond words at that point. And words weren’t needed.
Drew pushed his fingers in, one by one, careful not to hurt him, but desperate to be one with him again. He wrapped the fingers of his other hand in honey-brown tresses and pulled slightly to detach Mason from his neck so he could find his lips again. They stole gasps from each other, and shared air between them until they weren’t even kissing anymore. Their lips became just another point of contact. Just another way to feel the other one was there and safe.
Just a few gentle thrusts of his fingers had Mason rocking back onto them, urging him to go faster. Drew wanted to drag it out. He wanted to be everything Mason wanted, but he knew he was too late for that. So, he’d settle on giving him everything he wanted. For as long as Mason allowed it. The feeling of Mason’s flesh giving in and allowing him entrance was humbling. More than anything he had ever felt before.
He was privileged to be able to touch him like that. To be allowed inside his body after hurting him so much, and as Mason moaned into his mouth and trembled against him, Drew vowed to himself he’d never do it again.
He continued pushing his fingers in and out of Mason body as his other hand slid down to wrap around his back. Mason’s fingers found purchase on his chest and the sting of his nails on his skin again made him gasp, but he wanted it.
Just like with the lube, a condom was suddenly being pushed into his hand, and Mason was pulling himself off his fingers panting and pleading with him to hurry, please just hurry. Drew couldn’t deny him anything.
He rolled the condom on and tried to roll them over, but Mason wouldn’t let him. He straddled him again, and with a gasp that filled the dark room around them, he sunk onto his length. Drew held his hips with a strength he knew would leave bruises, but he couldn’t help it. There was no other way to deal with the way Mason looked: head thrown back, lips parted and swollen, breathy moans escaping them every time he moved.
Drew met every single one of his thrusts with his own, and they quickly found a rhythm that suited them both. It was a little bit too fast, a bit too rough. It was all the pain collected and pushed into this one moment they were living together. It was too much in so many different ways, but at the same time, none of it was enough. And as Mason bounced on top of him, bringing them both closer and closer to the edge, he realized it was going to be over soon. Too soon.
Mason increased the speed of his hips and Drew brought his hand down to wrap it around his cock. He tried to keep a steady pace, tried to give him as much pleasure as he could, but he could feel tension building low in his stomach, and his hand faltered. He tried to stop it, he tried to prolong it. He wanted to stay right where he was forever. Mason on him, around him, his scent in his nose and the taste of him fresh on his lips. He clenched his eyes shut, tightened his hold on Mason and tuned in to the sounds he was making.
Mason shook, gripping his hips with his thighs tighter and brought his palms back to his chest. He rolled his hips a handful more times before bending forward, burying his head into his neck and coming between them with a scream that lodged itself into Drew’s heart.
The skin on his pecs gave this time and he felt it break. The sharp sting made its way from his chest directly to his cock and with a final grip of Mason’s hips he pulled him down as he pulsed inside him, coming harder than ever before.
He was breathing harshly, holding onto the tiny body that shook in his arms, wishing he could just hold him like that for hours. The feeling of something wet on his neck brought him back to reality and he focused on Mason, hearing him sniffling softly and trying to hide it.
“Mason…” he whispered, but the other man just shook his head and pushed himself closer into his chest.
�
��Just hold me…” he heard him say again and so he did. He wrapped him up in his arms, kissed his temple and laid there with him until sleep claimed him.
Dawn was breaking outside his window and the chill air sent goosebumps all over, but he didn’t dare move. Sweat was dried on his skin, and the tingles from where Drew had kissed him still burned.
Drew was sleeping on his back, blankets pulled up to his neck, head tilted to the side and his dark hair a crazy mess on top of his head. Bruises bloomed on the side of his neck, and Mason knew he had left scratches on his chest that would take days to heal. His heart picked up speed as he heard Drew’s even breathing echoing in the quiet morning. It hurt to think that was how he had wanted to wake up the last time they were together. With Drew so close he could feel the warmth his naked skin gave off under the covers. He wanted to reach out and touch him, spread his fingers on his chest and curl close to steal his heat.
Fingers trembling, he followed his imagination, inching closer to Drew, aching to feel him again. He barely brushed the single lock of hair that slipped over Drew’s forehead before good sense kicked in, and he pulled his hand back. He covered his lips to stop a sigh from escaping, and the tingling in them reminded him just how much time Drew spent kissing him last night.
He didn’t want to acknowledge how good it felt to have him back. He refused to let himself get lost in the feeling of the last few hours. Because the Drew and Mason that just spent the night together, weren’t the same Drew and Mason that existed in reality. These passionate, desperate versions of themselves were swept up by the pain and betrayal that ended up driving them away from each other. There was no them anymore. And Mason refused to allow his heart to take this moment and run with it until it was bleeding love for Drew again.