Closing her eyes, Amy whispered a quiet prayer. “Lord, I know I don’t do this enough anymore. And I shouldn’t pray just when I need something, but here I am. Please help me to simply enjoy this date, no matter what comes from it. Get my thoughts out of doom and gloom. Don’t let Sy break my heart. And please, don’t let it be back. Please.”
Amy smoothed down her sweater and opened her eyes, adding one last bit: “And help me remember to pray not just in the desperate times. Amen.”
The ringing of the doorbell sent her pulse racing. Not now! The last thing she wanted was to deal with a potential guest. Even if she was sending them away because Sy had paid for the whole place. She strode to the front door, but when she swung it open, she froze.
Sy stood on the porch, looking delicious in dark jeans and a fitted polo shirt that clung to his massive chest and arms. It was his smile, though, and the warmth in his honey eyes that made her breath catch.
He pulled a simple bouquet of flowers from behind his back. Not roses, but some kind of beautiful purple lilies.
“Sy,” she finally managed to get out. This felt too sweet, too torturous. She bit her lip, wishing again that this could be real. “You got me flowers? How? When?”
He leaned close, the smile on his lips doing funny things to her stomach. When he kissed her on the cheek, it was all she could do not to melt into a puddle right there.
“Let’s just say that your neighbors might not be too happy with me,” Sy said.
Amy threw her head back and laughed. “You stole them from someone’s yard?”
“Normally, I’d buy them. But I didn’t exactly leave myself enough time to get to the florist. Or even the grocery store.” He shrugged, a boyish grin on his face.
“Wherever they came from, thank you. Unless you got them from my neighbor on the east side. Mrs. Hill will never let me live it down.”
Sy grimaced. “Uh, no comment.”
“Wait here! I’m putting these in water.”
After Amy had settled the lilies in a glass vase, her phone started buzzing. Expecting the doctor again, she glanced down at the screen, ready to silence it. But it was Delia. A flash of guilt hit her as she sent it to voicemail. Sy had said he wasn’t interested and would make sure Delia knew. And Amy knew her sister well enough to understand that Delia didn’t really like Sy. She probably only liked the idea of dating someone famous and how that might help her career.
So, no. Amy was not going to feel guilty about going out with the guy she’d cared about forever.
Amy opened the freezer and stuck her face in, letting the blast of air cool her hot cheeks.
“That prayer from earlier, God? I think I need a double dose.” She sighed. “I think I’m in big trouble.”
Chapter Ten
Amy
Amy had underestimated the amount of trouble she was in. Whatever Sy’s motivation for taking her on this date, he made her feel like the only woman on earth. Which somehow also solidified her feeling like Sy was the only man on earth for her. There was no way any other date could compare.
As she sat across from Sy at a steak house, hands curled into fists so she wouldn’t do something stupid like touch him, she was keenly aware that he hadn’t just ruined all of her future dates. He was ruining her for other men.
From the way he took her arm from the front porch, leading her down to the car to the way he opened every door, he made Amy feel treasured. It was the way he kept his gaze intently on her, and the soft look in his eyes. The smile that seemed almost like a secret shared between them.
Is this how he treated all the other women he’s dated?
She shoved that thought way back down. No way did she want to think about other women today. Even if, everywhere from the miniature golf course to the restaurant, women ogled him or outright hit on him. Sy barely glanced at them, even as their throaty tones and flirty laughs made jealousy rage through Amy like a brush fire. He kept his eyes fixed on her, grinning when she glared at the waitress, who kept lingering at the table, brushing against Sy as she handed him the menu.
“Jealousy is adorable on you,” Sy murmured as the waitress finally disappeared, sending Sy a flirty look over her shoulder. He didn’t even acknowledge it. “But you don’t need to worry.”
“I’m only worried I might stab her with a fork,” Amy said.
Sy laughed. “Now, that I’d like to see.”
“You just might, if this keeps up.”
Amy tried to shove away the feelings of insecurity. But compared to some of the women who had approached him and compared to the women she’d seen him pictured with in the past, Amy faded away. She didn’t have a model body or a perfectly made-up face. She was so … ordinary. Add to that her lack of experience, and she was hardly the kind of woman who could keep a man like Sy.
He was perfection, from his massive build and the handsome cut of his jaw to his humor and his kindness. There was a vibrancy to him and the way he lived his life and made his decisions. Like the way he’d decided out of the blue to take Amy on this date, and then dove all in, fully committed and over the top. He was completely unlike anyone else Amy knew.
And totally out of her league.
Self-doubt was unattractive in a woman. But the part of her brain where she was shoving all the things she didn’t want to think about was getting pretty crowded. Amy wasn’t sure it had room for her insecurities too.
“Ames? Will you look at me?”
Slowly, she lifted her eyes. Sy’s expression made her doubts slide away. She wouldn’t have thought it possible, but his eyes held even more warmth than before, making the brown shine like liquid amber. Her chest tightened. He reached a hand across the table, and without hesitation, she slid her fingers into his. When he laced them together, his thumb grazing the back of her hand, she had to hide the shiver that moved through her body. At least, she hoped she hid it. She didn’t want Sy to see how affected she was by the simple feel of his fingers on hers.
Sy smiled, soft and slow. “I’m here with you, Amy. Only you. Not any of these women or any others. There is only one woman that I’m interested in, and I’m holding her hand right now.”
Amy could not manage to move her lips to respond.
Could this be real for him too?
Dropping her hand, Sy picked up his menu and smirked at her over the top. “As a reminder, you’re the one who’s two-timing me with some schmuck you haven’t even met from the internet. It’s not too late for you to cancel, you know.”
It really wasn’t. Maybe she should cancel? It’s not like Brandon was going to get a fair shot. But wasn’t canceling a few hours before he was set to pick her up rude?
The waitress chose that moment to return, positioning herself so that her cleavage was directly in Sy’s eyeline. He kept his gaze on Amy and even winked.
“Are we ready? I’d love to get started serving you,” the waitress cooed.
Sy took Amy’s hand again, making her heart thump. “Darling,” he said in a tone that made her pulse flutter. “Would you mind ordering for both of us?”
“Sure.” At this point, she shouldn’t be operating heavy machinery, much less making reasonable decisions. But she would do anything Sy asked. And she knew this was his way of making the waitress fix her attention on Amy.
The woman looked at Amy for the first time, managing to plaster a smile on her face. “What would you like?”
Amy cleared her throat and pinned the waitress with a firm look. “First of all, I would like for you to stop flirting with my date.”
Sy’s eyebrows shot up his forehead, and he looked like he was about to start laughing. The waitress’ eyes went wide and then narrowed as she pursed her lips.
When she didn’t say another word, Amy ordered a seafood pasta for herself and a steak with roasted veggies and mashed potatoes for Sy. She had no idea if he had dietary restrictions, but it was hard to go wrong with that. He didn’t correct her, so she must have done okay. The waitress wrote down the order
and stormed away.
Sy squeezed her hand once more before letting it go. Amy wished she was bold enough to hold on, but she had just used up most of her bravery on the waitress.
When he kept grinning at her, Amy shrugged. “What?”
“I know I told you not five minutes ago not to worry about other women, but it sure was fun to see your claws, Ames.”
She raised her brows. “Why, Sy, whatever do you mean?”
“You keep playing coy. I’ve got your number, Amy Winters. Now. Why don’t you tell me more about running the bed-and-breakfast? How did that come to be?”
She shifted in her seat. “I don’t think you ever met my grandma, but it was her place. She’d been running it for years. When she died just over a year ago, she left it to me.”
His eyebrows went up. “Wow. That’s a big deal. Just to you and not to Delia?”
Amy shook her head. “No. And that’s always been a sore spot for her. Delia cared more about the money we could have gotten if we sold it. She wouldn’t have wanted to run the place.”
“And you do? Is this what you dreamed about?”
“Honestly? I don’t know. I spent so many years just thinking of living, of surviving, that I didn’t really let myself dream.” She shrugged. “I loved my grandma and loved spending time with her there. When it comes down to it, I think I really loved it because she was there, and the bed-and-breakfast mattered to her.”
“But you don’t love running a bed-and-breakfast.”
“No.” Her lips twisted. “I feel so guilty saying that.”
“Why? It’s not like you can disappoint your grandma. I know we don’t really know what heaven is like, but I doubt it’s the kind of place where people are sitting up there, judging what we’re doing down here, full of regrets. You shouldn’t do it because of an obligation.”
Amy smiled. “You’re right.” Not that it would matter in a month when she couldn’t pay the property taxes. “How about you? Are you living your dream life in San Antonio, on and off the field?”
The waitress reappeared with a basket of bread and butter. She hardly looked at Sy and didn’t speak to Amy, which made her smile. Sy grinned as Amy buttered a piece of bread.
“It’s what I always wanted and now I’m doing it. A dream-come-true. I’m one of the lucky few.”
The answer sounded like the kind of thing you’d say to a reporter. Like a memorized script. “But? Something’s off. I can hear it in your voice.”
“Can’t get anything past you.”
Sighing, he slid down in the booth a little and ran a hand through his dark hair. Under the table his feet nudged hers. When Amy went to move hers, he trapped her feet with his and gave her a playful smile.
“Don’t try to distract me. I’m onto you.”
“Fine. I don’t like to complain because on paper, I have it all. I accomplished my dream. I have more money than I know what to do with. Great teammates and friends.”
Let’s not forget women, Amy wanted to say, thinking of the nickname the press gave him, and all of his very public dates. But she stuffed another piece of bread in her mouth and kept listening.
“I guess it’s started to feel kind of pointless. Like, I want more. Which feels selfish.”
“It’s not selfish.”
He shrugged. “It kind of is. I mean, there are people starving all over the world. I have two houses. A housekeeper and a personal chef. Access to all kinds of things other people don’t have. And to top it off, I get to do what I love. You don’t think it’s selfish to want more?”
Amy thought about his question while she chewed. “I think it would be selfish if you wanted more of what you already had. More money. More stuff. More fame or whatever. What I’m reading between the lines is that you feel like you’re lacking in other areas of your life. I don’t want to press a sore spot, but your family doesn’t seem like they’ve ever really been there for you.”
“They haven’t been.”
Another server brought out their salads and refilled their waters. Amy watched Sy’s face, sensing that he was thankful for the brief respite.
“I don’t want to say that they were bad parents. They weren’t neglectful or abusive. But they weren’t there for me. Not like they were—and are—for my sisters. I wish I had a family. I want to do better for my own.” His lips twisted, and he picked at his salad. “I guess I need a family first though, huh?”
Amy wanted to stand up and wave her arms, yelling, “Pick me! Pick me!” She managed to keep herself seated with a neutral look on her face.
Sy chuckled. “Wow. I went a little heavy.” Shaking his head, he shot her a rueful grin. “Sorry. This is not first-date conversation. But then, I’ve known you for so long that it’s easy to talk to you, even if we haven’t kept in touch. I wish we had.”
“Me too,” Amy said, her voice hardly above a whisper.
“Back on track,” Sy said, pushing his empty salad plate to the edge of the table. “Normal first-date conversation. Let’s see … Do you have any pets? And what’s your sign? Is that better?”
Amy laughed. In truth, she didn’t mind going deep with Sy. But she also enjoyed lighter conversation for the rest of lunch. It was just as easy to laugh with him as it was to talk seriously. Honestly, everything felt easy. Natural. Normal. Right.
At least, up until they got back to the bed-and-breakfast, when Amy suddenly felt paralyzed by nerves. Mostly centered around another first she’d never had: a first kiss.
She had few doubts that the other women Sy dated would have kissed on a first date—if not more, which was something she definitely didn’t want to think about. What did he expect from her? And what did she want?
As much as she’d watched his lips during their date while he talked, thinking about how they would feel against hers, she felt like she really would be ruined if he kissed her. She still didn’t know how Sy really felt about her, or if this date was something real to him.
He seemed to have just as good a time as she did, but he hadn’t asked her out simply because he wanted to. The impetus was her impending dates that Delia set up. Which meant that, though everything about this date felt very real, Sy hadn’t really committed to anything. Amy would be disappointed—to say the least—if nothing else came of it, but she could always look back at this date and know how lucky she was to have it.
But if he kissed her, and it didn’t mean anything? It would be soul-crushing. Amy felt like Cinderella, waiting for the clock to strike midnight. Only, she wouldn’t be leaving a glass slipper behind with the prince. Amy feared that she’d be leaving her heart.
He pulled up out front rather than in the driveway and jogged around the side of the car to open her door, as he’d done all afternoon. Rather than take her hand and help her out, Sy grabbed her by her hips and easily lifted her from the car to the ground.
Amy had always felt a little self-conscious about her size. She was barely over five feet, which she attributed to another one of the effects of going through chemo and radiation while she was also going through puberty. But she loved being small next to Sy. He didn’t make her feel insignificant, but more protected and cherished.
He took her hand as they made their way up the sidewalk to the front door, where he stopped and turned to face her. The brilliant intensity of his smile and the warmth in his eyes was hard to look at.
“I had a really great time with you, Ames.”
She tried to keep her voice even, but everything in her felt shaky. “Thank you for my very first date. You’re going to make it really hard for Brandon to compare.”
Sy’s grin dropped. “You’re still set on going out with him tonight?”
Not if you tell me not to.
Amy shifted her weight back into her heels, pulling slightly away. “It’s a little late. He’s picking me up in an hour.”
Sy frowned and looked down. Amy wanted him to tell her not to go out with the other guy. She wanted him to tell her how he felt—even if the at
traction she felt was one-sided. But Sy said nothing, and she didn’t know how much she should read into that.
“Are you still planning to vet him?”
“Oh, definitely.”
They stood there for another moment or two, an awkwardness that had been missing the whole date suddenly very present between them. Suddenly, so fast she couldn’t react, Sy leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Amy’s cheek.
“I had a great time with you, Short Stuff. Now, to complete the first date experience, I’m going to get back in my car and drive around the block. Then I’ll be back to scare the life out of your next date.”
With a playful grin, Sy dropped Amy’s hands and jogged to his SUV. Without a kiss. Without asking her for something more. What had she expected, really?
Exactly this. But it wasn’t her expectations that got her in trouble. It was her stupid hopes, all pinned on the man who was pulling away from the curb. Amy walked back into the empty house, trying not to choke on her disappointment.
Chapter Eleven
Sy
Sy drove around the block a few times after dropping Amy off, hoping it would help him to cool down. But he was wired, his brain buzzing and his skin hot. His regrets were screaming at him. Everything in him had wanted to kiss Amy. Then sweep her into his arms and carry her over the threshold before making sure she canceled her date with Brandon.
Which would have made him a total caveman. And he did not even care.
But Amy was different from the other women he’d dated. He didn’t want to kiss her on the first date, especially not on her first date ever. He hadn’t wanted to press, but if she hadn’t dated, it was a safe bet that she might not have ever kissed anyone either.
He shook his head, still smelling Amy’s light floral scent in his car, thinking of her bright smile and deep blue eyes. How had no guy snatched her up before now? Her explanation about not being in school and being shy around guys made sense … to a point. But any guy who spent more than a few minutes with her would see what he did.
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