by Judi Curtin
* * *
It was like heaven. It was a cosy room, with lots of light coming in through the many windows. It was a chilly day, but the stove in the centre of the room gave out lovely heat. Women from the estate were sitting at tables, and many of them were singing as they worked at their sewing and crochet. Everyone looked up and greeted Lady Georgina, but no one paid any attention to me.
‘That’s the instructor, Miss Connor,’ said Lady Georgina, pointing at a serious-looking woman who was sitting at a desk, writing in a large book. ‘And there’s the assistant, Miss Flanagan.’ Now she nodded towards a younger woman who was walking around the room, helping any women who asked for assistance.
‘Some of the workers are very skilled when they arrive, but some women need a lot of help, and it does my heart good to see how they go on to do such beautiful work. Come,’ she said, leading me to a large table at the corner of the room. ‘Here are some of the garments that are ready for sale.’
I gasped as I looked at the precious things. There was a perfect embroidered christening gown, some crocheted baby jackets, a few children’s dresses, and underclothes fit for a queen. I wanted to touch everything, but didn’t dare.
‘They are so beautiful,’ I said. ‘Who buys them? Who can afford such lovely things? Do people come here to do their shopping? Are these things very expensive?’
I was so excited that I had forgotten I was only supposed to speak to the family if they spoke to me first.
Lady Georgina smiled at me, as if she hadn’t noticed my mistake. ‘The prices are reasonable, I hope,’ she said. Then she picked up a small book. ‘This is the catalogue. Buyers order from this, and we send them what they want.’
I took the book and turned the pages slowly. There was a description of each garment, a price, and then a drawing. The prices may well have been reasonable, but I knew if my poor mam had that much money, it would be spent on food for the table or turf for the fire. She would never even dream of owning such precious things.
Lady Georgina seemed to be waiting for me to say something.
‘The drawings are beautiful,’ I said.
‘Thank you. I did those myself.’
Now I knew why her daughter Constance, and grand-daughter Maeve were so good at art. This was a very artistic family. But then maybe my family would be the same – if we didn’t have to work so hard, and had time to practise drawing and painting. For my family, simply living took up most of our time.
I followed Lady Georgina as she walked around the room chatting to the women. She knew them all by name, and they seemed to like her.
I’m not sure how much time had passed, but I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to go back to the hurry and bustle of the main house. I wanted to stay in this warm, calm place forever.
Chapter Thirteen
It was late in the evening, and my work was all done. I was walking towards my bedroom, looking forward to spending some quiet time with Nellie. Isabelle had lent us a bundle of new books from the nursery, and I wanted to help Nellie to read some of the harder ones.
‘Lily, Lily, I have something to tell you.’
Maeve came rushing towards me, taking me by surprise. I hadn’t even known she was back.
‘What do you have to tell me, Maeve?’ I asked. ‘Is it about your mother? I know you must miss her now that she has gone back to Dublin.’
‘No. I mean yes. I do miss Mother, but that’s not what I want to tell you. I have some very good news, and I have been dying to tell you for days, but Gaga wouldn’t let me come here until tonight. I’ve been so impatient, and I begged and begged but she wouldn’t listen to me and …’
‘Are you going to tell me or not?’ Of course I was happy that my friend had good news, but I was tired, and I guessed that the news was going to be about her, and not about Nellie or me.
‘You know I was in Temple House with Mother this week?’
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘And you thought it was going to be boring, but maybe it wasn’t since you are so excited to tell me about it.’
‘Well, it’s just a very big, very boring house and I thought I’d never get out of there. Mother and Mrs Perceval talked and talked about things that did not interest me in the slightest, but on the last morning, something wonderful happened.’
‘What?’
‘I saw Mrs Perceval’s lady’s maid.’
‘You did?’ Maeve and I came from very different worlds, and often misunderstood each other. I had no idea why she was excited about seeing a maid. Lissadell House was full of maids, and except for Nellie and me, Maeve didn’t pay them very much attention.
‘Yes – and this maid had very white skin and curly red hair, and bright blue eyes and …’
At last I was beginning to understand. ‘Oh, Maeve, do you think …?’
‘Except that her nose is rounder than Nellie’s, they are exactly alike. Lily, I think I have found Nellie’s sister.’
I jumped up and down. ‘That’s so …’ Then I stopped jumping. This was real life, not one of the fairy-tales in the nursery books. ‘But Lady Mary wrote to all the big houses – and no one had ever heard of Nellie’s sister. It has to be a mistake.’
‘Maybe Aunt Mary forgot to write to Temple House? Or maybe they were away when the letter arrived? Or maybe Nellie’s sister used to work somewhere else and only went to work there this week?’
I still wasn’t sure. ‘Did you talk to this girl? Did you ask her if she came from the workhouse? Did you ask if she had a little sister called Nellie?’
‘I didn’t have time to talk to her. Mother and I were leaving, and Mother had a train to catch and the car was waiting for us. I know I’m right, though. Trust me, Lily, it’s not a mistake. This girl was Nellie’s double. They have to be sisters.’
And so she convinced me. ‘Come on,’ I said, hurrying along the corridor. ‘Let’s tell Nellie the great news.’
* * *
Nellie smiled when I came into the room. ‘At last you’re here, Lily,’ she said. ‘I can’t work out what this word is … M.A.G.I.C.A.L.’
‘Magical,’ I said without thinking. Then Maeve followed me into the room. Nellie dropped the book, looking guilty, even though she knew the children’s nurse was happy for her to borrow it. She pulled her blanket up to her chin, and I could tell she was ashamed of her old, patched nightgown.
‘Nellie,’ said Maeve. ‘I have some wonderful news.’
‘What is it?’ And even though Nellie always tried hard not to hope for or dream of anything, I saw a light come into her eyes as she whispered the words.
‘I’ve found your sister,’ said Maeve.
Nellie’s face went even paler than usual, making the freckles on her nose stand out like spatters of gold paint on a snow-white page.
‘Are you sure? You’ve found her? You’ve really found Johanna?’
And as Maeve’s smile faded, I knew there had been a terrible mistake. I wanted to kick myself. Why had I let Maeve tell Nellie about the girl, without even checking what she was called? What kind of a friend was I to let this happen?
‘Her name wasn’t Johanna,’ whispered Maeve. ‘I’m so sorry, Nellie, the girl I saw was called Susan.’
I could feel tears come to my eyes, but Nellie’s eyes were dry. For a moment it seemed that I was more disappointed than she was.
‘My sister’s name is Johanna,’ she said quietly. ‘She was called after my dad’s mam. Lizzie was called after my mam’s mam, and Mam picked my name because she thought it was beautiful.’
Then she picked up her book and began to turn the pages. Maeve looked at me uncertainly, and I felt sorry for her too. Just like me, she had wanted to help, and it wasn’t her fault that between the two of us we had made a terrible mistake.
‘I’m sorry, Nellie,’ she said.
‘Lots of girls have red hair,’ said Nellie, without looking up. ‘It was an easy mistake to make.’
‘Maybe you should go back upstairs, Maeve,’ I said. ‘
I’ll take care of Nellie.’
‘I can take care of myself,’ said Nellie in a small voice. ‘I always have.’
‘I’m sorry, Nellie,’ said Maeve again as she opened the door. ‘That girl Susan was so like you, I was sure she had to be your sister. I won’t give up, I promise. I’ll keep on looking until we find Johanna.’
Nellie didn’t answer, and she was probably thinking the same as me. The world is a very big place, and how do you find one young girl in all the crowds?
* * *
That night I barely slept. Across the room, Nellie was tossing and turning, and though I whispered her name many times, she never answered.
I awoke to hear Delia, one of the kitchen maids, banging on the door.
‘Lily, Nellie. It’s late. Wake up.’
‘Coming,’ I said, and I heard the sound of Delia’s heavy boots going back towards the kitchen.
Nellie and I jumped out of bed at the same time, stretching and rubbing our eyes.
Nellie looked so pale and lost. I wanted to hug her, but there was no time, and I feared she would push me away.
‘I’m sorry about yesterday,’ I said. ‘You shouldn’t blame Maeve. It was mostly my fault, and I wish it hadn’t happened.’
‘It’s all right,’ said Nellie, pulling her uniform over her head. ‘It’s over now, and I don’t want to talk about it any more.’
I wanted to use Mam’s saying about sharing troubles, but Nellie didn’t look as if she wanted to hear any of Mam’s wise words, and right then I felt guilty for even having a mam.
‘If that’s what you want,’ I said, and I pulled on my own uniform, ready for another long day of work.
* * *
Nellie went straight to the storeroom where the cleaning things were kept, but I ran to the kitchen. We weren’t supposed to have breakfast until the downstairs rooms had been cleaned, but Cook knew how hungry I was in the mornings, so she always gave me something small to eat before I did anything else.
‘Lily,’ she said, handing me a piece of bread and butter. ‘You’re so late – I thought you were never coming.’
‘Thank you, Cook,’ I said. ‘You have just saved my life.’
She laughed. ‘That’s what you say every morning.’
As I turned to go, Maggie, the laundry maid came into the kitchen with a bundle of towels.
‘Good morning, Lily,’ she said.
I stared at her as if I had seen a ghost.
‘Lily, are you all right?’ she asked.
Cook came over and put her hand on my forehead. ‘Lily, pet,’ she said. ‘What is it. You’re as white as the freshly laundered sheets.’
‘I’m fine,’ I said. ‘Really I’m fine.’
I turned and gave Maggie a big hug. ‘Thank you so much,’ I said.
She stared at me. ‘But I didn’t …’
‘I have to go,’ I said. ‘If Mrs Bailey is looking for me, tell her … well I don’t care what you tell her. I’ll be back in a minute.’
Then I ran from the room, leaving Cook and Maggie staring after me as if I had lost my mind.
Chapter Fourteen
I ran up two flights of the servants’ staircase, and carefully opened the door onto the corridor where the family had their bedrooms. I peeped out, but luckily no one was around. I wasn’t supposed to be there until the family was down at breakfast, and I knew I’d be in trouble if anyone saw me. I always seemed to be breaking rules at Lissadell, but right then I didn’t care.
I tiptoed along the corridor to Maeve’s bedroom and tapped on the door.
I heard a sleepy voice. ‘Whoever it is, go away. It’s still dark.’
For a second I felt a touch of jealousy. Lucky Maeve never had to get up until it was light outside. Did she have any idea how much work I had done before she opened her eyes each morning? But then I remembered why I was there and I pushed my jealousy aside.
I tiptoed into the room, closing the door softly behind me.
‘I said go away. It’s the middle of the night.’
‘It’s me, Lily,’ I said, feeling my way towards the bed.
‘What is it? Is something wrong? Is it Nellie? Wait a minute while I turn on the light.’
Just as my eyes were getting used to the darkness, Maeve sat up and lit the gas light, making the room cosy. She pulled a soft woollen shawl over her beautiful cotton nightgown.
‘Here,’ she said, patting the bed beside her. ‘Sit down and tell me what’s wrong.’
‘Nothing’s wrong,’ I said. ‘Something is very right.’
‘Don’t talk in riddles. I’m still only half awake.’
‘How sure are you that the girl you saw at Temple House was Nellie’s sister?’
‘I told you yesterday. I was very, very sure, but now we know it can’t be her.’
‘But maybe it was her after all.’
‘I don’t understand.’
‘I was in the kitchen a few minutes ago and I saw Maggie, and …’ Now I was so excited I could barely get the words out.
‘Maggie? Isn’t she the laundry maid?’
‘Yes, but her name isn’t really Maggie.’
‘Now I really don’t understand. What has Maggie got to do with this?’
I took a deep breath. ‘When I came here first, I met Maggie and told her that I liked her name, and she said that it wasn’t her real name. Her real name is Agnes, but because there was already a kitchen maid here with that name, Mrs Bailey said she had to change it.’
‘That’s not very fair. I like being called Maeve and I wouldn’t change my name for anyone.’
‘You’re rich – it won’t ever happen to you.’
‘Sorry,’ she said, as if she needed to apologise for being who she was.
‘Anyway, don’t you see? If Maggie … or Agnes had to change her name, then …’
Now Maeve gave a big smile. ‘Then Susan could easily be Johanna.’
‘Easily. Probably. Didn’t you say that Temple House is very big?’
‘It’s huge. They have so many servants you wouldn’t believe it. So they could easily have had a Johanna, and then made Nellie’s sister change her name.’
‘And it was probably the housekeeper who did that, so when Lady Mary asked if there was a Johanna Gallagher at Temple House, Mrs Perceval didn’t know who that was.’
‘This is so wonderful,’ said Maeve. ‘Have you told Nellie yet?’
‘No, I came straight here. Nellie is probably still in the maids’ storeroom, waiting for me to share my bread and butter with her, the way I usually do.’
As I said the words, I realized I was still holding the piece of bread that Cook had given me. I broke it carefully and gave half to Maeve.
‘Anyway,’ I said as we ate. ‘Until we’re sure, I don’t think we should say a word to Nellie. If we’re wrong again …’
‘Agreed. For now this has to be our secret.’
‘So how are we going to find out the truth?’
Maeve jumped out of bed. ‘It’s simple. I will go to Temple House and talk to Susan or Johanna, or whatever her name is.’
‘How will you get there?’
‘I’ll go on the bicycle.’
Maeve was very serious, and I loved how far she was prepared to go to help Nellie, but I had to laugh.
‘Oh how I’d love to see you cycling all those miles like a wild woman, but it’s much too far. It would take you a day and a night – maybe even more.’
‘You’re right. I suppose I’ll have to ask Albert to bring me. Let’s hope he’s not driving Uncle Joss today.’
‘No,’ I said. ‘This isn’t something you can do on your own. Why don’t you ask Lady Mary to help? She’s very kind, and we know how sorry she is for Nellie, so maybe …’
‘You’re right. I’ll ask Aunt Mary as soon as she gets up, and I’ll let you know.’
I was relieved for a second, and then I remembered who I was and where I was.
‘I have to go,’ I said, running fro
m the room.
In the drawing room, Nellie was crossly cleaning the first of the fireplaces. I was sorry I’d given away her bread, but told myself she wouldn’t care, if she knew why.
* * *
Nellie and I were enjoying our breakfast in the kitchen when Maeve appeared, all dressed up in her coat and hat. Nellie stopped eating, and Cook jumped up from her stool and stood stiffly next to the chopping table, but Maeve didn’t notice. She never noticed how the servants jumped to attention when she appeared.
‘Lily,’ she said. ‘Can I have a word with you please?’
I followed her into the corridor. ‘It’s all arranged,’ she said. ‘Albert is going to bring Aunt Mary and me to Temple House.’
‘When?’
‘In a few minutes. Mrs Perceval is going on a trip tonight, so Aunt Mary wants to get there before she leaves.’
‘Will Lady Mary be cross if I’m wrong about Johanna?’
‘No. She’ll be disappointed, like all of us. But I don’t think you’re wrong.’
Now I started to see more problems.
‘And if I’m right, if it’s really Johanna, what will happen then? How will we get Nellie and her sister together?’
‘I’ve been thinking about that,’ she said. ‘I’m hoping that when Johanna – if it’s her – has a day off, Mrs Bailey would give Nellie a day off too. I think Aunt Mary would let Albert to bring her to Temple House, and they could spend a few hours together. What do you think?’
I smiled. ‘I think that if we could arrange that, Nellie will be the happiest girl in all of Sligo.’
* * *
‘What did Maeve want?’ asked Nellie when I went back to my breakfast. ‘Is she going to paint you again? Or are the two of you going out on the bicycle?’
‘Oh, Maeve isn’t going to paint me. She only … she told me that she’s going for a drive with Lady Mary.’
‘Why did she bother telling you that?’ asked Nellie, scraping the last of the porridge from her bowl.
‘Who knows? Now pass the sugar. I’m starving.’