Lily Steps Up

by Judi Curtin

  Chapter Fifteen

  I spent the whole day looking out the win­dows, waiting for the motor car to come back. In the end, Nellie noticed how agitated I was.

  ‘What is it, Lily,’ she asked. ‘Why do you keep looking out the window?’

  I desperately wanted to tell her the truth, but I knew that was impossible. What if Maeve and I were wrong? Nellie was trying hard to be tough and brave and all grown up, but I knew that somewhere, deep inside, was a terrified and lonely little girl.

  ‘Oh, it’s such a nice day,’ I said. ‘I wish I were out­side, that’s all.’

  She looked at me doubtfully, and then we returned to our work.

  I knew Maeve and Lady Mary wouldn’t be back for lunch, but my heart sank when I heard Cook complaining that they weren’t going to be there for dinner either.

  Where could they be?

  Had something gone wrong?

  Why were they taking so long?

  * * *

  ‘I’m so tired,’ said Nellie, putting her hand over her mouth, but not managing to hide her huge yawn.

  Sir Josslyn and Lady Georgina had gone to bed, and Nellie and I were giving the front hall a final sweep and dust.

  ‘At least this is the last job of the day,’ I said. ‘And we’ll be in bed before you know it.’

  ‘I can’t wait,’ she said, yawning again. ‘And I won’t read a word of my book tonight. I think I’ll be asleep before my head hits the pillow.’

  I ran my duster over the ugly stuffed secretary bird that was displayed on a shelf.

  ‘I’m scared of that thing,’ said Nellie.

  ‘Me too, but I’m afraid that if I don’t dust it every day it might come back to life and fly into my night­mares. It’s so––’

  And then, finally, I heard the sound of an engine and the crunch of wheels on the gravel.

  ‘Oh,’ said Nellie without much interest. ‘Sounds like Lady Mary and Maeve are back.’

  I began to panic, and I knew I needed time to think.

  Would Nellie be cross that I hadn’t told her why Lady Mary and Maeve had gone all the way to Temple House?

  What if the news wasn’t good?

  ‘You know, I’m not so tired, Nellie,’ I said. ‘And I can see that you’re exhausted. Why don’t you go on to bed, and I’ll finish up here?’

  Nellie was usually very fair about work, and always made sure to do her share, if not more. Luckily though, she was so tired, she actually agreed without arguing.

  ‘All right,’ she said. ‘Thank you. I’ll just finish off this bit of sweeping and––’

  The motor car had driven into the porte cochere and I could hear the creak as one of the doors opened.

  ‘No!’ I said quickly. ‘Just go. If Lady Mary needs some jobs done you could be up for another hour. Leave your brush, leave everything, and go to bed.’

  ‘Thank you, Lily,’ she said as she hurried off towards the back stairs. ‘You’re such a good friend to me.’

  I picked up her sweeping brush and stood like a statue, wondering if what she said was true.

  * * *

  Time seemed to stand still, which didn’t make any sense as I could hear the large clock behind me tick­ing the seconds by. I could hear the opening and closing of car doors, and then the sound of the motor car driving away towards the coach house. Harry, the footman appeared and stood ready to take coats. Then, after what felt like a lifetime, the huge front door opened.

  Lady Mary came in first, smiling as she handed her coat to Harry. Then Maeve came in. She looked tired, but she had a huge smile on her face. And then …

  ‘Nellie?’ I whispered, as a girl walked into the hall­way. She was a little taller, and a little thinner, and her nose was different, but she was so like Nellie, it was hard to believe. I’d never seen this girl before – she was a complete stranger to me, and yet I felt as if I had known her for a long time. I felt as if we were friends. I had to stop myself from running over and hugging her.

  Maeve was delighted with my reaction. ‘No,’ she said. ‘It’s not Nellie. It’s Johanna. I told you they were like twins.’

  ‘Johanna,’ I said. ‘Nellie is going to be so happy to see you. She’s only gone downstairs this very minute. I’ll go and get her, or you can come with me and …’

  Johanna didn’t move or smile or anything. She stood and stared at me and her cross face reminded me a bit of what Nellie used to look like when I first arrived at Lissadell, before we were friends.

  Now Lady Mary stepped forward. ‘Johanna is tired after the journey,’ she said. ‘And perhaps a little over­whelmed. Johanna, why don’t you sit for a moment and catch your breath?’

  Lady Mary opened the door of a small room and led Johanna inside. Then she turned back to me and Maeve.

  ‘Give Johanna five minutes to rest, and then go and fetch Nellie.’

  Then she closed the door leaving Maeve and me outside in the hall.

  * * *

  ‘You’ve got to tell me everything,’ I said. ‘Tell me every single thing that happened today.’

  ‘Well, we only have five minutes, but I’ll do my best. When we got to Temple House, Aunt Mary told Mrs Perceval the whole story, and she sent for Johanna, or Susan, as she called her. When she said her real name was Johanna, Mrs Perceval looked embarrassed, even though it wasn’t really her fault.’

  For a second I was angry. ‘Johanna wasn’t so far away – why didn’t she ever come looking for Nellie? Didn’t she have any idea how sad and lonely she was?’

  ‘She thought that Nellie was dead. She was told that both her sisters died of the fever when they were little.’

  Tears came to my eyes as I thought how bad some people were, how they could tell such cruel lies to a poor girl who had already suffered so much.

  Maeve continued her story. ‘When Aunt Mary told her that Nellie was alive and well, Johanna started to cry, and it was sad and happy at the same time and I wanted to cry too.’

  ‘So how did Johanna end up coming here? Has Lady Mary invited her to stay for the night? That would be so nice for Nellie.’

  ‘That’s the very best bit. Mrs Perceval is going to stay with her sister in London for a few weeks, and she hadn’t planned to bring Johanna with her.’

  ‘And Lady Mary needs a lady’s maid!’

  ‘Yes. At first Mrs Perceval said Johanna could come and work in Lissadell for a few weeks, while she was in London, and then go back to Temple House.’

  That was both good news and bad. The sisters could be together for a while, but what would happen when they had to part?

  Then Maeve continued. ‘Aunt Mary was great. She talked about how hard it would be if the girls were separated again, and Mrs Perceval surrendered. She said she’ll find a new maid when she comes back from London – so here we are. Johanna is staying here with us at Lissadell.’

  I’d miss helping Lady Mary dress in the evenings, but this was a better result than I could ever have dreamed of.

  Come on,’ I said. ‘Let’s go and tell Nellie the won­derful news.’

  Chapter Sixteen

  ‘Wake up, Nellie. Wake up.’

  Nellie jumped out of bed, and reached for her uni­form that was neatly folded at the end of her bed.

  ‘Oh, no!’ she said. ‘You’re dressed already, Lily. Why didn’t you wake me? Mrs Bailey will …’

  She stopped talking when she saw that Maeve was standing behind me.

  ‘I don’t understand,’ she said. ‘Is it morning? What’s wrong?’

  ‘It’s still night-time,’ I said. ‘And nothing’s wrong. We’re here because … oh, Nellie, it’s Johanna – Maeve and Lady Mary found her. She’s come to work at Lissadell as Lady Mary’s maid. Your sister is alive and well and she’s … she’s here.’

  I expected Nellie to jump up and down with joy, but that didn’t happen. She seemed puzzled, looking around the small room as if Johanna could somehow be hiding somewhere.

  ‘She’s upstairs,’ said Maev
e. ‘With Aunt Mary. Come on, Nellie. Don’t you want to see her?’

  Nellie walked towards the door and then stopped and looked down at her old, faded nightgown. ‘I can’t go upstairs like this,’ she said. ‘Let me get dressed.’

  After all these years, I didn’t think Johanna would care what Nellie was wearing, but I’d never been in a situation like this before, and I didn’t know what was right or wrong. I handed Nellie her Sunday dress, which was also old and faded, and helped her to button it up.

  She pulled on her stockings and boots, and then I realised that it was important to me that Nellie would look her best, so I grabbed my hairbrush from my locker, and ran it through Nellie’s beautiful red curls.

  ‘Ready?’ I asked.

  Nellie gave a small nod, and like a girl in a trance, she followed Maeve and me upstairs.

  * * *

  As the three of us stood outside the small room, I could hear Lady Mary’s voice, soft and soothing, as if she were talking to a little child. If Johanna was answering her, she was speaking so quietly I couldn’t hear her words.

  ‘Here we are,’ I said. ‘Ready?’

  ‘I’m scared,’ said Nellie.

  I tried to put myself in her shoes. If I’d been away from Winnie and Anne for years and years, and was now separated from them by a single wooden door, I’d run in and kiss and hug them until they begged for mercy. But what could I know? How could I ever understand all the things Nellie and her sister had been through?

  ‘Will you come in with me?’ asked Nellie.

  I took her hand in mine. ‘Of course I will. I’m right here by your side.’

  Maeve opened the door and the three of us walked in. Lady Mary was seated in the only chair, and Johanna was looking out the window into the dark­ness, almost as if she wanted to escape.

  Lady Mary stood up. ‘Nellie,’ she said. ‘This is your sister Johanna.’

  For a minute, no one moved or spoke. Then Johanna took one step forward, and held out her hand.

  ‘Pleased to meet you,’ she said, in a voice exactly like Nellie’s.

  ‘And you,’ said Nellie, taking the hand, shaking it briefly, and dropping it as if it were burning her. Then they moved apart.

  ‘Have you been well?’ asked Johanna.

  ‘Yes, I have. What about you?’

  ‘I have been well too. Thank you.’

  I looked at Maeve.

  What was going on?

  Why were these two girls acting so stiff and polite – as if they were strangers?

  This should have been the happiest moment of their lives – so why did they both look so terrified and lost?

  They stared at each other for a long time, like two girls made of stone.

  And then Nellie started to cry. Big fat tears rolled down her cheeks and she didn’t even try to wipe them away. Her sobbing was the saddest, loneliest sound I had ever heard.

  ‘JoJo,’ she whispered. ‘JoJo.’

  Lady Mary stood up and moved towards Nellie, but before she got there Johanna came to life. She ran the few steps across the room and threw her arms around her sister. Even though they were almost the same size, she somehow picked her little sister up, and carried her to the chair. There she sat down with Nellie on her knee. Nellie continued to sob as she clung to Johanna and buried her face in her neck. No one else moved as Johanna stroked her hair, and began to rock from side to side.

  ‘They told me you were dead, Nellie,’ whispered Johanna. ‘If I had known you were alive, I would have come for you. I would have walked the roads of Ireland until I found you. I’m so sorry. I promised Mam I would take care of you always, but I didn’t do it.’

  ‘They were terrible times,’ said Lady Mary. ‘And you were only a child yourself. None of it was your fault.’

  It was hard to tell if Johanna had heard her, as she continued to rock. And then she began to sing in a beautiful sweet voice. I couldn’t make out the words, but I could tell they were Irish. As Johanna sang, Nellie relaxed a little, and slowly her sobbing became less.

  Johanna rocked and sang for a long time, while the rest of us watched with tears in our eyes.

  In the end, Lady Mary patted Nellie’s shoulder. ‘We will leave you two girls alone for a while,’ she said. ‘Feel free to stay up here for as long as you like, and when you’re ready, you can go downstairs to bed.’

  Then she turned to Maeve and me.

  ‘I think you two girls should go to bed also. Lily, maybe it would be best if you slept in Teresa’s room. Nellie and Johanna should be together tonight.’

  ‘Of course, Lady Mary,’ I said.

  I followed Lady Mary and Maeve out into the hallway. I watched as they went up the grand stair­case, and then I went to the narrow servants’ stairs and made my way to bed.

  * * *

  Teresa’s room was bigger than mine and Nellie’s, (which was right, as it was a room for a lady’s maid, and Nellie and I were only housemaids). Also, I had it to myself, as since Lady Georgina moved out, there had only been one lady’s maid at Lissadell.

  I found it cold and lonely. I had never before slept in a room on my own, and I didn’t like it.

  As I lay in the darkness and thought about how happy Nellie must be, I couldn’t help feeling a little sorry for myself.

  I missed the sound of Nellie’s quiet breathing beside me. I was used to being everything to her. Being nice to her made me feel good about myself, but maybe I wasn’t ready to share her.

  Would everything be different from now on?

  Would Johanna be the one to comfort Nellie when she was sad?

  Would Johanna want to take over Nellie’s reading lessons?

  Would I always have to sleep alone, while Nellie and Johanna chatted in their room, sharing secrets that didn’t include me?

  Chapter Seventeen

  ‘Lily.’

  I opened my eyes and everything seemed strange. I was in Teresa’s bed, and Isabelle was sitting beside me – and it was almost daylight!

  ‘I’m so late,’ I said, throwing back the blankets and jumping up. ‘I’m going to be in big trouble. Where’s my uniform and––?’

  Isabelle laughed. ‘It’s all right, you don’t have to rush. Mrs Bailey told me everything that happened last night, and she said that you and Nellie deserve a little rest after all the excitement. You and Miss Maeve should be proud of yourselves. Imagine find­ing Nellie’s long-lost sister – it’s like a fairytale come true.’

  ‘It was so wonderful,’ I said. ‘And I’ll tell you all about it later, but now I have to get dressed. It’s late, and there’s so much to do. I’ve got to do the drawing room and the dining room and …’

  ‘Don’t worry, Delia has already done the down­stairs rooms. Mrs Bailey said she won’t do as good a job as you and Nellie would, but that it will be all right for one day. She says you can take your time getting dressed, and when you’re ready you can do the dressing rooms as usual.’

  ‘And Nellie and Johanna?’

  ‘You’re to wake them as soon as you’re ready. Nellie is to work as usual, and Johanna is to report to Mrs Bailey, to get instructions for the day. Now I have to go. The little ones will be awake soon, so I have to prepare their baths and get their clothes ready. See you later.’

  * * *

  I opened the door of my own bedroom, and tiptoed inside to see the sweetest sight in the world. The sis­ters were in Nellie’s bed, all curled up together, with Johanna’s hand resting lightly on Nellie’s cheek.

  ‘Nellie,’ I said quietly. ‘Time to wake up.’

  Nellie opened her bright blue eyes. For a second she looked confused, but when she saw Johanna lying beside her, a huge smile lit up her face.

  ‘She’s really here!’ she said. ‘I woke in the night but I was afraid to open my eyes in case it was all a dream.’

  Now Johanna’s eyes opened too. It was almost scary, how alike these two girls were. She gave Nellie a quick kiss on the cheek and climbed out of bed.

 
‘Good morning, Johanna,’ I said, as she began to dress. ‘I hope you slept well.’

  Johanna stared at me – not in a friendly way.

  ‘When you’re ready, you’re to report to Mrs Bailey,’ I said. ‘She’s going to tell you what to do for the day.’

  ‘You don’t have to order me around,’ she said. ‘I know what I have to do. Lady Mary told me last night.’

  ‘I wasn’t ordering you around. I was only––’

  ‘Sounded like an order to me.’

  Her voice was cold, and for a minute I hated her. Did she know how hard Maeve and I had worked to get her here? Did she know how much her presence meant to Nellie?

  ‘I was asked to give you a message,’ I said. ‘And that’s what I did. It wasn’t an order.’

  Johanna shrugged. ‘What do you think, Nellie?’

  Nellie didn’t answer as she looked from her sister to me and back again. I wanted her to take my side, but how could she argue with her sister on their very first day together?

  ‘I’ll see you in a minute, Nellie,’ I said. ‘Delia has done the downstairs rooms and we’re to get started on the dressing rooms.’

  Then I hurried away.

  * * *

  As we worked that day, Nellie didn’t say much about Johanna. I knew she was embarrassed by her behav­iour, but didn’t want to be disloyal.

  Sometimes though, Nellie hummed or sang, and I knew that she was happier than she had been for a very long time.

  At dinnertime, we met Johanna at the door to the servants’ dining hall. We were a little late, so most of the staff had already taken their places. I was about to go to my seat when I turned back to Johanna. Even though she hadn’t been very nice to me, I felt sorry for her. I remembered my first day at Lissadell, when I had no idea where to sit, no idea that places were ranked according to how important your job was. At the time I thought that was unfair, but now I was glad about it. Nellie and I could sit together as always, while Johanna would sit further up the table, closer to Butler Kilgallon. But what if Johanna didn’t know that? Would she try to sit beside Nellie, and would everyone laugh at her?