A Newer Wilderness

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A Newer Wilderness Page 5

by Roseanne Carrara


  and the ocean. That small girl’s talking

  to him about the roses and his daughter’s

  birth as if she were someone else’s, and

  older, all her grave words about the garden

  and its growth chosen ahead of time, you

  might think, to draw him out of his grief,

  like Patience on kings’ graves, as we

  have read, smiling extremity

  out of act. Your eyes would seem

  suddenly moist and half-swollen, too,

  if she came towards you, looking more

  alive than your daughter ever did,

  with her thumb pricked by some thorn

  or tine she’d touched too gently

  in the garden. With her bleeding hand,

  her whole body smelling of cinnamon,

  or the ocean, you would not believe

  — 64 —

  it was your daughter telling you not

  to weep in front of her, and not to

  touch her either, she could

  not have your help this time.

  — 65 —

  ix. imperative

  Pericles V.i

  My house is where my family and those

  who admire me all meet together.

  Go there, and talk about how you lost

  the ones you loved, how you mourned

  your losses with those of your friends

  and came to find all that you had lost

  awake and still breathing beside you.

  Repeat all of this to them. Give it life.

  Do not bother to talk about governments

  or ministers, petty forms of religion

  and state. Reveal everything else.

  Speak about all that you craved

  and all that came in its place.

  Tell them that these long days

  you did not stop to eat or drink,

  but that you saw a vision.

  — 66 —

  III

  DURING THE SPRING DANDELION RUSH IN IRVINE,

  CALIFORNIA

  after William Cowper

  Men made this town. There is barely any country in it.

  I’m sure that here, on the side of the road,

  in the weed patch between the marine base

  and the mini-mart, here, where they can’t build

  because the helicopters must land safely,

  you’d say there wasn’t any virtue or health

  in these drifts of hedges that uproot themselves

  come fall and shuffle around town as tumbleweeds.

  Though some sweet bitter draught might be

  what they are after, those women in the short pants,

  crouched down in the brush, picking dandelions,

  their black trash bags spread out beside them, catching

  wind, as if they were giant snails, slagging along the fens.

  The women, pink and orange edges, holding down

  their hideous, inflated shells (their bags doubling as weather-

  cocks, then), in their stooping, stoop low, pulling

  the yellow wonders from what is merely a wonderless,

  fruitless open, taking them for salads and wine.

  In the evening you can see them best. Some of them

  even wear reflective jackets or set lanterns at their sides.

  Then the moon spins softly, sets the weeds into relief,

  and the women bend, stiffened, their bags silvering,

  flexed. It’s then that the clocks of the dandelions, the white

  cottons that have matured or been re-sexed (useless

  for vintage but the heart of next year’s crop) get sifted out.

  The women, picking the meatier, yellow greens for wine,

  blow the silks away. The clocks float by and shift

  across the landscape as if the women had let loose stars

  from the earth and flushed them out to bless the motorists.

  — 69 —

  The clocks, the unwanted, seedy white termagants,

  bound to plant themselves again and grow more weeds

  jet across the windshields of the night drivers who dart

  by in their sedans, thinking they know no fatigue but idleness,

  appearing to taste nothing other than what sad, dull art

  provides. How this thinking subsides during the short season,

  when the men and women see the clocks’ night-flashing,

  the white weed curricles floating past, perhaps caught

  in a wiper for a moment, scuttling along the dashboard,

  snowing in the rearview mirror as they prepare to signal

  and turn.

  After these initial encounters, some

  of the drivers actually unleash themselves, though

  only usually miles later, as they sense what they have

  been wanting, that arch of empire the women steal over them

  in their plucking and blowing away. And they begin to ask:

  how do those women travel there? And how do they stand

  to bend there, crouched all day? How is it their labours pay,

  or do not, for the life of the city? What cure comes

  from the drink and would it be worth the expense?

  And in this after-mirth or retraction, swelled

  from the place we call country, the women’s act

  of plucking and sifting brings public mischief, as along

  the roads, the accidents happen a bit more frequently

  than usual. In neighbouring towns, miles past the base,

  or along the main highway, the drivers struggle to relieve

  themselves from their sense of warmth and humiliation.

  Life, or some hiccough in its semblance, bursts inside

  of them. It happens and they brake, or their feet

  give out and they feel a rushing towards a living in the land,

  — 70 —

  imagining themselves in orchards, picking oranges, gun-watering rows of cabbages, stretching plastic wrap

  over lengths of strawberries to create a greenhouse effect,

  then clutching at those dandelions, releasing their white

  clocks to shiver in the night air.

  There’s that release,

  until they fix their vehicles or buy new ones to prove

  they have survived these crashes. There’s that release,

  until the winds move on and the summer drags in,

  burning what’s left of the weeds.

  — 71 —

  A CHILD’S GARDEN

  One day, in and amidst the expanse

  of this garden, mine, you will ask,

  markedly, assured, to plant and tend

  and reap your own plot.

  And there will be no question.

  You will have it. It is possible you

  will choose some neglected spot

  in our own yard, a hill in need

  of fixing. You will dig it over,

  ridding the soil of earthworms,

  making the dirt more difficult,

  so the native plants, the sumach,

  the goldenrods, and the agrimony

  might prosper, flourishing again,

  as they would have, once,

  in their wild nativity. Or, instead,

  you might make over one

  of those idles by the train

  tracks, near where old Enelio

  puts his renegade crops,

  things too human, he says,

  for a proper city garden. There,

  you will stake your own victory.

  No doubt, at first you will plant

  — 72 —

  too much, a smattering of everything.

  But soon you will have your

  favourites. You might take up,

  for instance, one of the proven methods,

  using a needle to inject cold

  water into the folds of your

  pumpkin vi
nes, producing

  a number of living giants.

  From one of these boats, all

  hollowed out, or from a teepee

  thick-strung with provider beans,

  you will run out, yourself

  unstrung, to pummel

  the commuter trains with crab-

  apples plucked from the crab-

  apple tree sprung up quick

  in the corner there. A tree,

  they will ask. A tree fruiting

  young and profuse? Again,

  you will have taken on too much

  in the beginning – most gardeners do.

  But with you, your excesses

  are bound to pay off. In any case

  it will put muscle on your shoulder,

  — 73 —

  this casting out your garden.

  It will stand as one of your life’s

  great mysteries, too, one

  you will speak about for years

  to come, each time, sure stopping

  to tell how amidst this sure

  profusion, you always stopped,

  you knew, to beg the seed.

  — 74 —

  LAZARUS SPEAKS IN FRONT OF LEMIEUX’S

  LAZARE, 1941

  The first sounds were nothing new. I had grown

  accustomed to my wife and those other women issuing

  graveyard prayers that rang even louder than the sharp wails

  they initially sacrificed and flourished whenever a letter

  arrived in place of a young man or his body, as if to console.

  Even then, I was no young man. Though, as you might

  expect, I would have given in to the impulse to shoot

  anyone trooping in on our small province in search

  of an easy stab at authority, the town treasury, maybe,

  or one of its finer women. That day, they could have used me, too.

  The beach was full of paratroopers plunging from the smoke

  their aircraft embezzled over our shore,

  troopers suspended and sailing from parachutes

  made from their mothers’ silk petticoats,

  petticoats worn to social functions and then torn off,

  just after marriage, in their fathers’ matrimonial

  heats, petticoats spun by silkworms in another

  country their fathers’ fathers conquered

  long ago, with trade goods as arms.

  From the top of that hill, I had a clear view

  of the criminals shooting at our children. (For some

  good reason, though I have forgotten that, too,

  we bore them right up to the edges of the theatre.) Some

  of my old schoolmates, in their Sunday hats

  — 75 —

  and zoot suits, gunned back at those intruders

  with their hunting rifles. By the time I caught on,

  the shooting was old. It looked as if my buddies,

  firing like that, bored in their dress clothes,

  meant to signal their stance against prohibition,

  protection of the family swill and the right to still it,

  rather than extermination in the entire. I, too,

  was no saint, and it was better that they knew it.

  As I rose up, I told the few mourners around me that I knew

  I had died, or so it appeared, from a disease I contracted

  from a foreigner during the first war. I finally succumbed,

  or so I thought, to that numb death that choked up

  my virility and all I was worth while my wife sat longing

  for children, begging her God Almighty and the Virgin

  to cure her ailment and fill her with life. I thought

  it would be better if they knew all of that. Rising from my

  coffin, I didn’t want them to find my coming back to life

  miraculous on account of any good I had been deserving

  or had done, though I did not predict much awe

  about the mourners, even then. Even as I held

  my head up and reached for him, the second-best father

  continued with his speeches. My wife and her sister

  stuck to their prayers, despite what I had just revealed

  about her barrenness being mine, and the grave

  — 76 —

  digger was calling already for silence from me

  and from the covered wagon – that procession

  of men in black approaching the old church plot,

  recently enlarged, from below. Apparently, the digger

  wanted the father to finish the service uninterrupted.

  In my leisure, then, I looked down and saw, processing,

  a half-dozen of my nephews and the local undertaker, fat

  astride the hearse. What strange kind of mourning,

  I thought, was that? Why would a funeral procession

  follow upon a burial? Did they know they were coming

  to take me up rather than batten me down? Had they

  brought me once but then circled the town anticipating

  I might be up again and in need of an ambulance?

  And the most curious: after the prayers and the burial

  service died down, how was it I could hear the pastor

  speaking in the church on the hill, offering

  a narrative of my short life and my failed honesty,

  a reference to the disease I’d been hiding in his version,

  too? He assured them all how little hope there was

  for mine or any other’s salvation. But still, he said,

  the congregation might learn from my example, turn

  to a kind of fruitful dwelling in this garden, despite

  the chaos further east of us and our own sky raining

  young men who were not our own, returning,

  — 77 —

  though some of us had our doubts. I knew then,

  that the local church was still standing, blown open

  but brimming with mourners half-listening to my life

  drawn out in spades as little reason for personal

  betterment, though as reason, still, for reform. The awe

  then, was all mine. It was 1941. Even as I rose up out

  of my coffin, it was not likely my funeral would stop

  for me or for any other man surprised, then, to be living.

  — 78 —

  A NEWER WILDERNESS

  There is something of the deadlies in that parallel

  you made the other day, between total environmental decay

  and the decline of language. It is out of character, really,

  for you to make such an inadequate connection between

  how we have abused world resources, how in all its wrath

  of malformation and in its nuclear attitude, the earth

  will beat back and thrash us with the poison we have been

  feeding it for years, and how language, too, will burn out,

  toxic, like our environment, dying in and among us, so

  that even those words we use to name ourselves, or the most

  basic human wants, will sound only as disconnected syllables

  that mimic just three words after all: trash or arm or that

  malady known as the hypos. As if decline would answer decline.

  Least of all, you might have supposed that if the world

  does come to burn, language will just become inflexible.

  Its numbers or its breadth will not diminish. Our expression

  will just stop changing, altogether, so that we will all

  get stuck with the same accent, slinging the same slang

  we have been slinging for years, the same sure words,

  spoken in a singular manner, to attend to the world’s

  passing, to illustrate how we are just going to die

  when we eat the grasses we learned to grow, finally,

  from seed, in our sprayed-over, ha
lf-glowing gardens.

  But this is not it at all. Don’t you know that in and amidst

  our own decline, our language will continue to build upon

  itself, upon its own beauty – that suffering here, and spying

  others dead, our expression will bound up and out like so

  many wild, determined orchids, massing on our remains –

  and amidst this profusion we will likely find more words

  than we ever possibly imagined to describe what we have lost,

  what, exactly, we require, and everything we cannot have?

  — 79 —

  THE MASTERS OF THE COUNTRY HOUSE POEMS

  They are irreproachable, these poetical estates.

  No amount of criticism could make them lose

  their luster – fane and commonwealth, there’s never

  too much nostalgia about them or for their authors either.

  In most, you will observe, the air is delicate

  as it travels through the rooms’ open keyholes,

  swaying the unbolted doors ever so slightly. The whistling

  corridors and the panelling, these are warmed only, yet,

  as it stands, they are warmed entirely by the houses’

  inhabitants in and after their prayers. The masters

  in their verses never fail to invite the races to sit along

  the lingering family tables filled and booming, here,

  with flowers brought up from the local bottom.

  Scads upon scads dip their bread in vinegar and oil

  before taking a sip of the national beer. In these swell

  places, fat is never begrudged, bullock thighs and steaks

  the size of the yawning ruptures in some old miser’s

  older pants are passed around. The food even appears

  to multiply in front of the poor, who, in these moments,

  hardly appear poor at all – though they are poor – each

  kitchen providing its temporary cure of goat’s milk and kindness.

  The churches close by could never give more than the masters

  of these houses – the poets, I mean, not the masters proper,

  but the poets who write of the giving here on these great estates,

  these Penshursts and Saxhams owned by the best men

  of the age, in which they once themselves were entertained.

  These poets, they have understood, and their houses last.

  They give and do not give. These houses, even without

  their inhabitants, warm and providing, fend off heavy weather

  more efficiently than anything on the market now, seeing

  as they are, as has been said, the lilies of the umbrellas, the cases

  — 80 —

  of the turtle giants. And despite the fact that they will keep open in all seasons, or because of it, our floods are nothing

  to them. Yes. As the waters rush upon us, all biblical,

 

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