*****
The ceremony itself was a blessedly short affair, resulting in the permanent binding of Crispin Edward Grandby-Jones, Viscount Adley to one Caroline Eleanor Bingley. Despite the rather irregular courtship, the couple appeared to be the epitome of happiness. Caroline, in yards of cream silk and lace, blushed with true emotion each time someone referred to her as ‘Lady Adley’. For all appearances it would be believed that she was deeply in love and Elizabeth Darcy would concur. But the same could not be said of all other guests present. Despite the happy ending for one couple, four other persons drifted about the wedding refreshments wishing for their own misery to end. As hostess, Elizabeth hoped for a pleasant afternoon, but as she watched Agnes Brackleburn and Georgiana, her own emotions were in a bit of a turmoil. While both Pemberley and Netherfield would achieve some long-deserved peace with the impending absence of Caroline, Elizabeth feared that true serenity at Pemberley would not be achieved until the matter between Georgiana and Robbie Brackleburn was resolved. Unfortunately, their happiness also depended upon that of Agnes. From what Elizabeth could surmise, the unexpected return of Gideon Lawler was the cause, but could he also be the solution? Having gained the knowledge that the minister’s stay in the area was to be for some time, it would only be appropriate to extend an invitation to Pemberley. Perhaps then, she could learn more details as to what caused the separation between him and Agnes. For despite their attempts to avoid one another, it was obvious that feelings, very strong ones, persisted between them. Turning her eyes to where Robbie Brackleburn stood, it appeared that he too was deeply interested in his sister’s reaction. Was he trying to do a bit of matchmaking himself? If Agnes married, there would be no female competition when Robbie should marry. As little more than a child when his father had interfered with Agnes and Gideon, Robbie might not share disapproval for a potential match. An Earl’s daughter and a minister were hardly economic equals, but what did it matter if love was true? Darcy had taken her without a cent, but life was not often fair when it was the woman who was in possession of a fortune. Money, while a necessary thing, was often the cause of great misery.
~TWENTY-NINE~
Three days later….
Fueled with the idea that a little encouragement was all that was needed to rekindle the fire that still smoldered underneath Agnes’ icy exterior, Elizabeth issued an invitation to dinner as the wedding guests left that evening. Feeling a twinge of guilt that Agnes and Gideon each believed that the other would not be present, her conscience was assuaged by the willing participation of her own husband.
“I believe that this may be the only way that they will face one another and not cause a row,” Darcy agreed. He could not believe that he was colluding in any sort of matchmaking, but that was before marrying Elizabeth. Defying convention had made him the happiest of men.
Now, as the appointed evening had arrived, Elizabeth questioned the logic of her interference. Since the departure of Caroline, Georgiana had moped about the house with a melancholy that caused great concern for Elizabeth and Darcy. Even the presence of Jane and Charles could not cheer her, and when they too eventually returned to Netherfield, she became unnaturally reserved, spending long hours closeted in her chamber. Fearing she would try to make an excuse not to be present when Reverend Lawlor arrived, Elizabeth sought her out that same afternoon.
“Georgiana? Are you unwell?” she asked when her tap on the young woman’s door went unanswered. Of late, Georgiana had even taken to avoiding tea in favor of sleeping. Elizabeth had also noticed that the generally healthy appetite had also disappeared. If the cause was not discovered and remedied, Georgiana would make herself quite ill. Pushing the door open a crack, Elizabeth found her sister-in-law not asleep, but sitting very still, gazing out a window. Her eyes, somewhat glazed, bore no trace of weeping, but the blankness of her stare was worrisome. It seemed that Georgiana was slowly drawing away from the world. Clearing her throat to announce her presence, Elizabeth stepped into the chamber and took a place on the padded window seat.
“It is a lovely day, cold but sunny. You should take a walk while the weather holds. It will do you some good to get out of doors. Winter can make the most jolly feel glum.”
Georgiana only sighed and nodded, but made no attempt to move from her place of sentry.
“What is it sweetie? Surely nothing can be so terrible that it cannot be shared? Fitzwilliam and I are quite worried about you. Is it Robbie Brackleburn that has your heart so pained? Surely it was just a misunderstanding that can be sorted out.”
Expecting a reaction, Elizabeth was frustrated when Georgiana’s impassive expression remained emotionless. If Robbie Brackleburn had feared that Georgiana still harbored feelings for another, he was mistaken. Something greater troubled her.
“No…I am afraid not… and there is nothing wrong with him… it is me…. all me. But I have come to a decision, about my future.”
“I don’t understand. You have done nothing wrong to anyone and it is obvious that Robbie loves you. Agnes approves as well, and has admitted that she was wrong to interfere based upon Caroline’s gossip. Do you not return his love?”
“That is the problem, I do love him, or at least I think I do, as much as one can. But I cannot manage to trust him… at least not completely, and I don’t know why, but I do know that I have not done anything wrong. Unfortunately, that is not how society sees it. I shall be forever under suspicion of compromise. No matter how much time passes, I cannot escape the past, but I cannot go on pretending either... always hiding it… waiting for it to come and ruin any present happiness. If Caroline had not told him, someone else would have, it was only a matter of time. In a way, she did me a great favor, at least now that Reverend Lawlor is here, Robbie will know everything correctly. It doesn’t really matter now, for I shall not be marrying anyone.”
Elizabeth digested her words with apprehension. Why did George Wickham still interfere in their lives? Unfortunately, what Georgiana said was altogether true. Even though he was now married to Lydia and attached to a regiment of regular Army, he would be forever connected to their family. Sooner or later, he would return to cause them all grief. Never before had Elizabeth wished for the death of another, but that seemed the only way of escaping Wickham. And what exactly did Gideon Lawlor know? Fearing something drastic, Elizabeth probed carefully.
“And you have decided to?”
“I have taken the liberty of writing to the Abbess of St. Columba, it is a convent in Scotland. Sister Immaculata is an old friend of Mama’s. I should like to go there for a time, and hopefully find some serenity.”
“A… a convent? Are you sure? I believe they are rather austere compared to Pemberley. What of your music?”
“Don’t’ look at me that way. I have no present plans to take orders. But it is a place that other women have gone in similar situations. Mama’s cousin Evangeline went there for a time after her husband died. She came back quite healed. As for my music… I fear that I cannot stand the sound of it now.”
“Does your brother know?”
“I shall tell him tonight… after dinner.”
******
While Elizabeth learned of Georgiana’s plans, Gideon Lawler examined his own life choices. He had been the greatest fool, not just in agreeing to stay at Piper’s Bend, but for having ever left in the first place. Since laying eyes upon Agnes again, his heart felt as if it had been torn to shreds. He considered himself a coward for having given in to her father’s demands, but how did one stand up to a peer of the realm? Especially when one had nothing to offer? This was far easier to ask when the man that had stood between them was now dead and buried. Riding back to Piper’s Bend after Ned’s wedding had been a trial to his patience. The close confines of the carriage had nearly been unbearable, made only worse when Robbie, at the last minute chose to ride, leaving him trapped inside with Agnes. The seven-mile journey seemed endless as she refused to speak a word, preferring to glare daggers that dug deep, le
aving his heart raw.
At least his conscience was clear when it came to Georgiana Darcy. When she and George Wickham had solicited his assistance so many years ago, he had quickly refused. Despite his complete understanding how difficult it was to defy a young lady’s family, something about the way Wickham behaved had been suspicious. Besides, Georgiana had been only thirteen years old, Agnes had been past twenty, and of a legal age to marry without parental consent. It had been right for him to notify her brother, just as it had been wrong for him to give up Agnes.
Since accepting Robbie Brackleburn’s offer to stay at Piper’s Bend, he had very little interaction with Agnes. Aside from the polite formalities one expected from their hostess, he hardly saw her. With less than a fortnight before he needed to return to Edlesmere for the Christmas season, his opportunities to convince her that his feelings had not changed were dwindling. The second he knew that Agnes had never married, the possibility that she still loved him had sent his thoughts reeling. However, twelve years was a long time. They were not the careless young couple anymore, but neither were they bound by the same conventions. He would have to find a way to confront her, and if her feelings had changed, he would leave and never bother her again. But he would not settle for another, it would not be fair to marry someone out of convenience as his heart would always lie elsewhere.
Now, as he rode a borrowed horse towards Pemberley, he wondered if Elizabeth Darcy would assist him. From their first introduction, he had admired her openness and practicality. Gazing up at the sky as if seeking divine intervention, his plea was answered by grey skies and a few stray flakes of snow. Was this the answer to his request? Frozen silence? Remembering that God helps those who help themselves, he chewed his lip in contemplation of a plan to make her at least speak to him. If Agnes would not see him willingly, perhaps a bit of subterfuge was required.
~THIRTY~
Gideon had not needed to wait to speak with Elizabeth, it was as if Mrs. Darcy had some magical way of discerning when two people needed a little push in the right direction. Upon his arrival for dinner, the Pemberley butler showed him to a small formal parlor where the rest of the diners were gathered. It was to be a small party, with just the Darcys, but to his surprise, Agnes Brackleburn sat in a corner of the room engaged in conversation with Georgiana Darcy. Having arrived nearly an hour before, Agnes was made aware of Georgiana’s decision and somehow felt responsible, but little could deter the younger woman’s determination. With their heads bent, and voices barely audible, it was clear that their words were not meant for everyone. As a result, it was some minutes after his name was announced that both women took notice of him.
Rising, Georgiana ran from her seat and took both of Gideon’s hands in hers. she had hoped to seek his private counsel later, and was glad of his presence. Her brother would not dare display any disagreeable temper should he not condone her decision. However, this warm reception could not be said of Agnes. Remaining seated, she nodded coldly in acknowledgement, trying to mask her emotions. Her attempts to avoid Gideon had been successful, but there was no opportunity to escape tonight. For Georgiana, she would suffer his presence, and if necessary, solicit his assistance, for she did not approve of Miss Darcy’s desire to join the confines a convent, even if temporary. Georgiana was a fragile girl and much subject to falling prey to the good sisters. Agnes feared that even a short stay may result in Georgiana wanting to remain there indefinitely. Regret was a hard medicine to swallow, of this Agnes knew all too well. Even now, as she watched her young friend smile sadly at Gideon, her heart stirred with what could have been. It was too late for her, but it was not too late for Georgiana and Robbie. Her own brother had made excuses not to attend that evening, but Agnes knew it was all lies. Guilt had filled her for causing the rift between them. It had been spiteful and selfish, but he had been adamant about it.
“Who are you to give advice dear sister? Perhaps you should practice what you preach. Gideon Lawlor has been under the same roof for nearly a week and yet you refuse to speak to him. Sort out your own life and stop meddling in mine.”
Robbie had stormed out and the last Agnes had heard was that he was again attempting to drown his sorrows. They made a spectacular pair of fools. Now, as she faced the only man to ever capture her heart, her limbs felt as if filled with sand. She could not breach the void between them. Hearing her name, Agnes shook from her reverie as Elizabeth Darcy repeated her question.
“He is a handsome one, no? We are forever indebted to Reverend Lawlor for his interference in Georgiana’s unfortunate incident. If not for him… well, things could have turned out quite differently.”
“Ah… yes… he does put others first. It is his Achilles heel.”
Elizabeth arched an eyebrow at her choice of words, but was unable to query further as dinner was announced.
“Shall we go through everyone? We have a special treat tonight…peach cobbler.”
Despite Elizabeth and Darcy’s best efforts at conversation, and perhaps because of the excellence of the meal, dinner was unusually quiet as Georgiana and their guests focused on their plates. However, Miss Darcy did more to push the food idly about instead of actually eat. Observed by her brother, he probed gently for a reason. Having served more as a parent than sibling, it pained his heart to see her obvious misery. Tonight, his sister had dressed oddly as well. Forging one of her many attractive gowns, Georgiana was garbed in the plainest of fabrics. The dull brown wool chaffed against her skin, leaving wrists and neckline traced in red as she tried not to scratch. Her appearance was more suited to a servant than daughter of a great house. Smiling gently, he touched her arm to gain her attention.
“Is it not to your liking? You have always enjoyed how cook prepares this particular dish,” Darcy said as he eagerly dug into his favorite dessert.
“It is fine… I am just not particularly hungry.”
“You do look a bit pale, perhaps we should call in Dr. Abernathy?”
“Oh no! That is not necessary, I assure you, but there is something that I need to tell you. I was going to wait until later, but… I only hope that it does not make you angry.”
“There is nothing that you can do to instill anger in me. Is it a private matter?”
“Yes, but Elizabeth and Agnes already know… and as for Reverend Lawlor…he will understand my decision.”
“Decision? What decision have you made?”
Darcy hoped his voice did not display the disappointment he felt at being kept unaware of something that obviously troubled his sister deeply. But in recent months, it seemed that the once close relationship they shared had drifted apart.
“I have decided to go away for a while. There are things that I must sort out if I am to be happy, and being at Pemberley… or anywhere in society, only serves as a reminder. I must go where no one treats me differently because of position or privilege.”
“But…this is your home. Surely it is the best place for any sort of … healing.”
Darcy nearly choked as he spoke the final word. The idea that his sister may be seriously suffering from any ailment of the mind was disturbing. He had read about people that died of melancholy, but never took it seriously. Shaking off his own negative thoughts, he drew a deep breath and thought calmly. Georgiana was simply asking… no that was not right… demanding was more accurate… a bit of a sabbatical. Peering at her closely, he could not identify any signs of irrationality. However, the young lady that stared directly back at him, was no longer a child. This blunt announcement came from a grown woman, and one who knew what was best for herself. He was in no position to refuse, as much as he wished.
“After Christmas, I will go to the convent of St. Columba.”
This time Darcy did indeed choke. He had taken a sip of his wine to calm the churning in his stomach, but the liquid caught in his throat, requiring a sound pounding on his back. As he tried to regain his composure, Georgiana, relieved by dispelling the tension of her secret, told all present of her
intentions.
“It is all arranged. After Boxing Day, when the public coach resumes service, I shall depart Lambton for St. Columba’s. It is only a day’s journey and Sister Immaculata will meet me at the station.”
Now recovered, but still suffering from shock and disbelief, Darcy resumed his brotherly authority. If Georgiana was going to insist upon a fool’s quest, she must do it with his approval.
“A public coach? Certainly not…unsanitary and unsafe. There are half a dozen carriages here at your disposal. I shall escort you myself.”
Georgiana closed her eyes for a moment and sighed audibly. This was exactly the problem, everyone was always trying to control what she did. But this time she would have her way.
“No.”
“No? What do you mean, No?”
“I mean exactly that. You have always been the best of brothers and I appreciate it more than you know, but this is something I must do myself…by myself. I person must choose their future without anyone else. Besides, arriving in a Pemberley carriage would only draw unwanted attention. I am going there to find myself, and that means giving up the trappings of anything that distinguishes me from the others already there. This is not some holiday and I don’t know how long it will take, but it is necessary. Only then can I look towards a future. Now if everyone will please excuse me, I should like to retire. I find myself quite exhausted.”
Darcy stared at his sister in disbelief as she rose and nodded to both Agnes and Gideon before leaving the dining room. It was as if a stranger looked back at him and it hurt him deeply that he could not be the one to save her... and that he was the last to know.
Matchmaking at Pemberley Page 12