“I don’t think this is a good idea,” I interrupted.
“Why not?” Yelena asked.
“For one, it’s dangerous, and two, Ragnhild will most definitely send us back when he finds us. We’ll probably end up chained next to Jenus for the rest of our lives.”
Yelena pulled a face. “Julian, come on—we need to know what we’re up against. Perhaps we’ll recognize the creatures that came out of the sea better than the sentries—they didn’t even know what a jingi was, remember?”
“Jinni,” Benedict corrected, “and neither do you.”
They had a point. The sentries didn’t seem to have much of a grasp on the supernatural world, which was weird considering the ghouls, goblins and nymphs roaming about the place.
“This has disaster written all over it,” I pointed out.
“We’ve been in danger since we got here. I don’t see how this is going to make any difference—and it might help us.” Benedict wasn’t going to be swayed.
“I swear you have the worst short-term memory of anyone I’ve ever met,” I grumbled. No doubt as soon as we got near the cove, Benedict would once again be terrified half to death, and wish he’d never suggested this crazy-ass plan.
“Let’s at least go to the stables and see if it’s possible?” Yelena pleaded.
“Fine.” I sighed reluctantly. “But if we can’t get out without being seen then we’re not going—agreed?”
“Agreed,” they both chorused, their tones sullen. I felt like a babysitter in charge of the most reckless kids alive. Lucky me.
Hazel
The room we’d been given was opulent, full of fabrics designed to add some comfort to the austere marble of the floor and walls. In the middle of the room there was a large four-poster bed, covered in cream sheets and throws interlaced with gold thread. It looked like an incredibly lavish hotel room, the kind that a couple might stay in during a honeymoon. The only difference was the bars on the window—thick iron poles that had obviously been added recently, as they clashed with the rest of the castle’s interior. It was a blunt reminder that we were at war, and we didn’t know what tomorrow would bring.
Tejus was in the en-suite bathroom, and I could hear the cascading of water as he showered. I had already bathed, and had started pacing up and down the room anxiously. My lower stomach knotted, and light butterfly flickers of anticipation danced inside of me every time I looked at the bed. We were supposed to be getting rest while we could — waiting for the dawn to rise, and then the moment that Ragnhild would return from the cove, letting us know what we were up against. I didn’t feel like resting though. My mind felt like it was scattered in a million different directions.
I pulled at my top and grimaced at my pants, wishing that I had some clothes that Tejus hadn’t seen me wear a hundred times already. I had the feeling that tonight would be special. I wanted it to be special…But there was a darker thought nudging at the edge of my consciousness, one that wasn’t so welcome. Without wanting to look too deeply into it, I felt a sense of finality pervading everything. Maybe it was because the air was so still, or that this was the pause before the storm began. I didn’t really know. I just had an inescapable feeling that tonight was the end of something.
The door to the bathroom opened. Tejus stood in the doorway with a towel wrapped around his waist, his hair wet and slicked back with droplets still running off his neck and down his chest. I could see the scars from the ghoul’s claws across his chest, and the symbol that had been carved on his pectoral—still slightly pink round the edges where it hadn’t finished healing.
I can’t believe this man wants to marry me.
The thought went around and around in my head as I stared at him, the butterflies becoming more intense and my heart palpitating in my chest. I suddenly felt like I wasn’t worthy—whatever I had to offer him just didn’t seem enough. Without realizing what I was doing I wrapped my arms around my torso. I realized too late that it wasn’t exactly welcoming body language.
Tejus frowned slightly.
“Hazel?”
“I’m fine,” I replied, my voice catching in my throat.
He looked like he wanted to say something, but changed his mind at the last moment. Instead he cleared his throat, and gestured at the floor.
“I’ll make a bed here,” he reassured me gently.
“No, wait. I think I can handle it… with the hunger, I mean,” I replied, feeling heat blast across my cheeks. He was silent for a few moments, eyeing me speculatively.
“Can you come here, please?” he asked eventually. “I’d come to you, but it looks like you’re going to run out of the door if I make any sudden movements.”
“I’m nervous,” I replied, shutting my eyes briefly as I felt embarrassment consume me.
“I can tell. But I don’t understand why.”
His tone was warm, without a hint of accusation—it went a little way in helping me calm my erratic heartbeat.
“I don’t really know,” I whispered. “I guess last time…it was all in the heat of the moment, and now…I don’t know, I just feel so awkward.”
“Hmm,” he murmured, a small smile lifting at the corners of his mouth. “Making people feel at ease isn’t exactly my strong point.”
I grinned. “You’re right about that.”
“But I’m going to try.”
I eyed him skeptically, but his expression was solemn—he wasn’t joking.
“Okay then,” I mumbled.
He walked toward me, and I tilted my head upward as he approached, expecting him to kiss me. Instead he smiled softly, and lowered his lips to my ear.
“Turn around,” he whispered.
Unable to speak, I nodded, slowly turning as he’d commanded. I faced the fire at the end of the room, staring into the bright yellow flames. I could feel Tejus’s breath tickling the base of my neck, sending shivers multiplying across my skin. I felt his hands running through my hair, clasping the strands together and moving them over one of my shoulders. A soft kiss was planted on the back of my neck—so soft it could have just been my imagination. I stopped breathing.
“When I was younger, one of the stable workers told me that the best way to calm a skittish animal is to talk softly, to let them listen to your voice, until they trust you enough to eat out of your hand,” Tejus murmured, his lips lightly pressed against the top of my head. He ran his thumb down my bare arm. I took a deep, steadying breath.
“You hate talking,” I whispered.
“No,” he breathed, “I just think it’s overrated. But perhaps it’s necessary now.”
He remained standing behind me, but moved his hands around my waist, running his fingers along the band of my pants. All I could hear was the sound of our breathing and the soft scratch of his skin on the fabric of my clothing.
“The best way to keep talking is to recite things you’ve memorized,” he continued.
“Like what?”
“Well”—his fingers came to rest on the curve of my hip—“things like you have a small beauty spot here, and another here.” His fingers moved upward a fraction, over my jeans. “And one here. They make an almost perfect line.”
I swallowed, my insides feeling like they had turned to mush.
“You have a birthmark here,” he continued, running his hand down the front of my thigh, and round to the curvature of my backside.
“And down here.” His hands continued to travel down my leg, and his body moved to crouch on the ground. His hand stopped at my kneecap. “You have a small scar, just above this bone.”
“How do you remember all that?” I whispered as he moved back up to stand behind me. I was fully dressed – there was no way he’d be seeing all this. If it was from memory, then he must have really studied my body the night we’d spent together in Hellswan…
“How could I not?”
I bit my lip, feeling his body move closer to mine. I leaned back against him, my fear and awkwardness slowly seeping away to be
replaced with the need to be as close to Tejus as possible.
His hands moved down to the hem of my top.
“Shall we see if I was right?”
I smiled, lifting my arms upward. He removed the shirt, letting it drop to the floor. He ran slow kisses along my neck, unhooking my bra. Instead of lowering my arms, I reached backward and upward, wrapping my hands around his neck, feeling the dampness of his hair between my fingers.
His hands ran down the sides of my body, and I exhaled sharply at the tremors that shook me in response to his touch. He stepped back, removing my pants while I balanced myself by placing my hands on his shoulders.
“It worked.” I smiled.
“Then will you come to bed with me?”
I nodded.
He stood, and then lifted me up into his arms in one swift movement, carrying me over to the bed. He didn’t let go of me until we were both beneath the covers, our legs entwined.
The moonlight shone through the bars of the window, creating ever-shifting lines across our bodies. Our lips met, our kisses instantly deep, each one causing me to surrender my breath entirely. I arched toward him, not wanting an inch of space between us. His body felt so solid, so reassuring, anchoring me to our reality as every other part of my being seemed to melt away.
As we made love, I started to feel our minds melding together, my thoughts running into his and every exhale and breath of his seeming like it was my own. I could see myself through his eyes, startled by the vision of my hair fanned out across the pillow, my skin beading with perspiration as I moved to his rhythm—my eyes wide, pupils dilated in desire.
“Are you doing this?” I breathed in wonder.
“We’re doing this.”
I exhaled, my mind and body feeling like they were going to implode. I’d never known it was possible to feel this close to another living thing—as if where I ended he began, our nerve endings connected, every touch felt by us both and amplified so that when his lips grazed the curve of my shoulder, I felt it in the tips of my toes, on the base of my spine, in the blood that screamed through my veins.
His mind whispered through mine, the wisps of thought familiar and strange at the same time. I could hear his voice, flowing like water into me.
I love you…I love you…be mine.
It sounded like a prayer.
“Tejus,” I responded out loud in a breath, looking up into the black pools of his eyes. “I… I love you. I’ll always be yours.”
It was only afterward, lying in Tejus’s embrace, that I finally understood why I’d thought that tonight was the end of something.
It was. It was the end of an old life—one that I’d outgrown without realizing it. My human life. It was over; my body had known before I did, becoming stronger and more resilient as I transformed into a sentry, knowing desire, love and rage in quantities I’d never experienced as a human. Now my head was playing catch-up, and it had taken seeing myself through Tejus’s eyes to finally realize what I had become.
I also knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I was no longer alone. Wherever I was, whatever I was, part of my soul would always be searching for his.
Benedict
“I’m freezing,” Yelena whined.
“This was your idea,” I retorted. We had been waiting in the cold for hours, crouching low behind the back of the stables so that none of the ministers or guards would see us. There was a thorny bush digging into my back, and no matter how many times I shifted about I still couldn’t get comfortable.
We had taken one grumpy bull-horse out of the stable and covered it in a blanket and our robes in order to keep him warm. So far it had been quiet—it had caused a bit of fuss when we tried to take it from its pen, but after we’d fed it hay and Yelena had insisted on brushing its coat, the creature had settled and then fallen asleep. Dawn was fast approaching and I hoped that the guards would be here soon.
“Keep your voices down,” Julian whispered. He had been irritable all night, and I worried that at any moment he was going to change his mind and go back to the castle. I hoped not—there was no way I was doing this without him. I kept expecting to hear Ruby or Hazel calling out to us from the castle, but they must have been busy with the kids or sleeping, because I hadn’t seen them since we’d eavesdropped on the meeting.
I was starting to question the wisdom of this entire plan—at least if we’d done what I suggested we’d be warm in the stables, snuggled up against the bull-horses and hay bales. But Yelena always thought she knew better…which was probably why I spent so much of my time saving her ass.
“I think I hear something.” Yelena rose up on her knees, listening. I did the same. A few moments later footsteps approached, and Ragnhild’s voice cut across the yard.
“Get the bull-horses ready, the fastest we’ve got.”
The door to the stables creaked open, and the bull-horses started to whinny in greeting. Now was our chance. We crept over to our bull-horse, who had woken up at the sound of his friends—I hoped that it wouldn’t make a sound, and that its absence wasn’t going to be noticed. Hopefully we’d taken one of the slower ones.
The guards proceeded to walk the bull-horses around the stable yard, loading on saddles and weapons.
“You keep watch,” Julian murmured to me, “Yelena and I will get the horse ready.”
I nodded in agreement, peering as closely as I dared around the side of the stable. Soon, each of the guards had mounted a bull-horse and Ragnhild sat atop his, giving orders to the ministers on duty to open the barriers.
“We need to move now!” I hissed, running back to Julian and Yelena. Both of them were already sitting on its back, and Yelena reached out her arm to pull me up. I scrambled on—not a moment too soon. Hooves clattered as the army rode across the grounds, heading in the direction of the opening in the barrier.
“Go, go!” Julian spurred on the bull-horse with the reins.
Nothing happened. The bull-horse lowered its head, munching on the grass.
“Julian, do something!” I cried.
“I’m trying!”
“Do you think it only responds to sentries?” Yelena asked.
“No—I saw Ruby ride one,” I spluttered. Maybe it just needed a bit more encouragement…Leaning back, I smacked the bull-horse on the rump as hard as I could. It reared up, and I held on fast to Yelena. The bull-horse shot out from behind the stables, following the rest of the army.
The guards were so intent on navigating their way through the tents that covered the gardens of the palace that they didn’t turn around at our approach. Julian managed to gain a bit more control over our ride, and soon we were passing through the barriers with the rest of Ragnhild’s small army. A few ministers gave us puzzled looks, but they didn’t say anything—I guessed for all they knew we might have been requested on the mission.
We clattered down the pathway that would eventually lead to the main road that ran through Nevertide. Thanks to the dim light of the dawn, and the fact that half the sky was still midnight black, none of the other riders seemed to notice us. We stayed a few paces back from the last three riders at the end of the line, just to be safe. As long as they remained unaware of our presence till we got near the cove, there would be no way that we’d be sent back—it would be too dangerous for us to travel through Nevertide alone.
As we approached the main road, I held my breath. The turn was sharp enough for Ragnhild to see us if he looked sideways. Luckily, he navigated the bend head-on, continuing to ride at a fast pace without closely observing his troops.
We didn’t say a word to one another as the journey progressed. The dawn rose fully, and I started to feel a bit warmer—especially as I had to tense every muscle in my body just to stay on the horse. Ragnhild never let up his speed, and neither did any of the other riders.
Suddenly, just before the turn that would take us to the cove, the line came to an abrupt halt. Julian didn’t stop the bull-horse in time, and so it reared up with a loud neigh, nea
rly ramming into the butt of one of its friends.
“Order!” Ragnhild yelled, riding down the line to see what the disturbance was.
Oh, crap.
“What are you doing here?” he thundered, catching sight of the three of us.
“We thought we’d join you,” I replied, as confidently as I could. Maybe if it seemed like no big deal, he’d just accept it?
“WHAT?”
Okay. Maybe not.
“Look,” Julian replied, using his reasonable, grown-up tone that made him sound like a news presenter, “we just thought that we might be able to help—the entity’s army might be made up of supernatural creatures that we’re familiar with.”
“Does the emperor know you’re here?” Ragnhild raged, completely ignoring Julian’s argument.
“No,” I replied, “but I’m sure Ash will be glad when he finds out—glad that we wanted to help.”
Ragnhild glared at me, and I half-thought he was going to punch me.
“Do you know how much trouble you’re going to be in when you get back? How much trouble I’m going to be in?”
“Not if we succeed,” I pointed out.
“You’re kids!” he cried. “This is madness! Tergor, take them back to the castle. I can’t waste any more time with this.”
One of the guards grunted, and pulling up next to us, he grabbed the reins from Julian.
“Just let us come!” I cried out, realizing that I’d underestimated how pissed off Ragnhild would be. “Tejus said that this was a recon mission only, and we’re smaller than you, so we’ll have a better chance of escaping unseen. Please,” I begged. “I was the one under the entity’s influence—at least let me help bring it down!”
Tergor the guard grinned, turning back to Ragnhild with a questioning look on his face. Clearly the guard didn’t like the idea of heading back to the castle any more than we did.
“This is madness,” Ragnhild muttered again, his jaw clenched. He wasn’t yelling anymore though, which, if I compared it to experiences with my parents, was usually a sign that we were winning.
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