by K. Forest
Shit, he really is serious. “Angie, I am so sorry. I really am sorry I put you through this. I don’t know how it got so out of hand. I guess, I just wanted for once to loosen up like you always suggest I do.” Rubbing my clean-shaven jaw, I ponder what I just shared and why I wanted to let go and be part of the norm. I had been full throttle with my studies and exams, doubling up on college course and extracurricular activities. I never entertained any interest in the parties at school whatsoever. “It just felt good for once to be...” I trail off in my defense, rubbing my hands together and thinking of an explanation that he would understand.
“Me!” Angelo states, finishing my exact thought.
I should have known he would understand. “Well, yeah, I guess so. It felt really good at the time, but afterwards not so much. I don’t know how you can recover over and over again from partying like that. I think it took five years off my life.”
Angelo shrugs. “If you had an orgy, it would be worth those five years of your life,” he says with a small smile, getting a glimpse of his joking self again.
That’s a good sign; we are making headway in the right direction. Which makes me turn in thought, “Angie, are you sure you still want this life that was foisted on you by Father? I know I can persuade him to have you enter into a partnership with me when I complete grad school. We would make great partners together. Heck, you are just smart, if not smarter than me in some ways. Focus more on your college studies in the next four years and less on whatever he has you do.”
I’m desperately throwing ideas at him and trying to build a solid plan to implement. Ever since they separated us in school, we’ve been off. Sure, we can have our own interests, but keeping us away from each other isn’t natural. Now I’m imploring him. “Leave it to me, Angie, you know I’m good at solving problems and persuading others to change their minds. We can plan a safer and more independent life outside of the family business.” I’m pacing the room now, pondering the best strategy that will convince my father.
With a heavy sigh, I hear Angelo slowly blow his breath out through his lips. Clapping his hands together abruptly, he makes me stop in place. “I know you mean well, and I agree with you. Partnering up on something in the future would be nice. What has been the hardest for me is not being able to share everything with you!” Shaking his head, he looks defeated. “I’m already too involved in the family business. There are things that I’ve done to prove my placement. At the time, I was eager and felt accepted and special. Not realizing until it was too late it’s more of a curse than a blessing.” I’m trying hard not to distract him as he’s finally opening up to me. I sit back down on the couch, watching him. Abruptly, he stops speaking as though he realizes he’s saying too much. I want him to continue to confide in me. Shit, he is my twin brother.
We’re close regardless of the different paths we are traveling down. After a moment, he sighs and continues. “When we hit high school, I wanted to be independent from you. Everyone was always comparing the two of us. That is why I left boarding school in Switzerland with you.
Going to boarding school in California seemed like a better option. The weather and being a few hours away from home gave me a little breathing room. Mother tried her best to encourage me to stay with you, but Father sided with me.” He gives a forced laugh, “Tony is one hundred percent growing into Father’s shoes. He’s been good about sheltering me as best as he can. I feel bad for him that he never had a choice; his destiny is already determined.” He says, shaking his head. “I can’t compartmentalize what I’ve witnessed as easily as him. I guess that is why I’ve taken the position as the family clown. To forget what I am even just for a few moments.” Shrugging, he looks at me defeated.
“When we were little you were always my anchor. Let me be that for you now.” I say, sad that we have drifted apart. Funny, it took me completely letting go to understand that we’ve been drifting for a while. I look him in the eyes and see that it clicked with him too. We had always anchored each other without realizing until now. Slowly standing up, still reeling slightly from everything we had just shared, I make him a promise. “Angelo, if I ever let loose again, I’ll make sure to do it on home territory.” Giving him a nod, I tell him, “Now I need a promise from you, when life is too much to handle, you come to me. You don’t have to spill all the graphic details; I just want you near me to be able to anchor.” I walk over to him and put out my hand for a handshake, smiling at my declaration.
He lifts his hand to shake and just as quickly pulls me down, and I lose my balance so my whole weight falls on him. Laughing the heaviness of our discussion off our shoulders feels so damn good. Scrumming his hair, I push myself up. After my alcoholic, drug-infused days and this heart to heart, I really need to let off some steam at the gym. “All right, I say we workout and sweat this crap out of me.”
A few days later, Angelo and I step back into our usual brotherly banter. Angelo, the irritating yapping dog, and me, barely responding with one-word answers. We opt to lounge on the boathouse dock away from guests after finishing an intense workout and fuel up with one of Germano’s protein shakes, “Hey, you hear from Sam? I’ve texted Mateo and no response.” I ask Angelo, hoping this question would once again spark more openness from him.
“Yeah, I think Uncle Carmine sent them to pick up furniture for one of the restaurants in Venice. Sam said they should be back in a few days.” He turns to me, sipping his shake nonchalantly, and shrugs his shoulders with no further response. I guess things are back to normal with vague explanations of information on a need-to-know basis. It leaves me feeling slightly culpable that Sam and Mateo are probably getting the aftereffect of my drunken behavior.
I start thinking of a plan for the best explanation to tell Uncle Carmine in hopes to relieve their punishments. With most of it already formed, I get up opting to cool off and clear my mind with a swim.
“Where are you going?” asks Angelo.
Already dismissing him, I walk to the edge of the dock and dive in feeling the cool ripple of the lake water skim over my skin. As always, it’s the rejuvenating effect I needed. Surfacing, I slowly tread water. Looking back to the shore, I spend a moment admiring the timeless, majestic grand hotel belonging to the Ferrari family.
Chapter 1
Five summers later...
My time in the Big Apple had finally come to a bittersweet end. I would soon be trading one city that never sleeps for another city that doesn’t sleep; my hometown of Las Vegas. For five long years I’ve made NYC my personal playground. While I had gotten accustomed to the changing seasons in New York, winters were always gray and dismal. I found myself looking forward to sunshine along with the hustle and bustle of Vegas. But, before that happened, I planned to take a well-deserved vacation in Lake Como, Italy. Being the overachieving son of the Ferrari family, I had finished university in record time with a double degree in finance and architecture. In between, I interned with my godfather at our family’s New York luxury hotel. My next step will involve helping to create a one-of-a-kind, contemporary multi-luxury hotel and casino. I am just waiting for the letter of intent to be finalized on the twenty acres the family had acquired in Las Vegas.
Meanwhile there are still some loose ends to tie up in New York. My mother, Dafne, insisted I walk in the graduation ceremony and insisted on throwing together a small celebration before Angelo and I left for Lake Como. Any opportunity to show off her hospitality skills and her golden son, as I was graciously dubbed by Angelo, delights her. I didn’t have the heart or courage to say no to her. My older brother Tony attended college but opted out of the ceremony, as well as Angelo. My sister Bianca will be starting her senior year at boarding school.
So, here I am, the guest of honor at a graduation party. With one foot propped against the wall in the corner of the hotel banquet room, I slowly sip an unusually fine aged whiskey. Glancing around, I notice all the usual overeager, superficial guests trying to attract my parents’ attention. Checking
my phone every few minutes in the hopes that time would speed up, I finally begin feeling the calming effects of the whiskey. All that is expected of me is to smile and behave as pleasantly as possible for the next two hours. I do this for my angelical mother’s sake. Unlike my brothers, I don’t have the heart disappoint her. I have always been more detached and composed than my siblings. I learned early on it was a gift having the same eyes as Dafne Ferrari. I observed how she could hypnotize individuals, especially our father, enough to shape decisions in her favor. I’ve learnt and perfected the Ferrari household chess game of manipulating my father concerning my future.
“Congratulations, Sonny! I’m out of here.” Tony says, taking me out of my thoughts. He clinks his drink to mine. My oldest brother is the spitting image of my father. Standing at just about six feet tall, he has the same stocky build; hooded, espresso-colored eyes and hair; and olive skin tone like our father. “Good luck babysitting Angie in Italy. I do not envy you. Word of advice, try not waking up on random yachts or go missing while in Europe.” He grins.
I smile as I give him the finger, aware of the incident he’s referring to. From time to time, the guys razz me about my one and only big-time birthday bender. With his signature lazy smile, Tony starts to leave. “Hey, Tony, hold on a second please. Do me a favor?” I ask. “Watch over Claudette this summer. Try not toying with her. You know her true feelings.” For years, she had been fluttering around waiting for my brother Tony to glance her way. Despite her longing for Tony, the red-haired spitfire had been my reliable girl pal for many years. She was acceptable within our social circle, so we attended events together with no strings attached. We had the facade of being romantically involved, despite the fact that we both knew I wasn’t the Ferrari brother she was in love with. I had told her to forget about Tony and that she could do better. Despite the warning, she’s still swooning after my big brother, who is still not interested. His time is usually occupied by one-night stands. Although we have always remained platonic friends, our families still cling on the hope Claudette and I will end up together. We have both made it a point to date others in college in order to squash that idea. Still our mothers have never given up planning future nuptials.
“I thought after all these years you were satisfying her and made her forget about me,” said Tony sarcastically. I don’t hesitate to punch his shoulder. “Just kidding,” Tony says laughingly trying not to spill his drink. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on her. I’ll make sure she falls in love with a guy worthy of her. Our classy little lady needs a good man, which I’m not.”
“Wow, Tony you may still have a heart in there somewhere,” I say, thinking there might just be more to my brother than he lets on. He is also more preceptive than I thought. He slaps me on the back, winks, and walks away giving me the finger.
I swallow the last of my whiskey, putting it on a nearby table, and walk over to the queen of the party. She never seems to age as I take in her beautiful smile. “Mother, I need to get going if I want to make our flight.”
“Oh, Sonny, is it time already? I’m going to miss my gorgeous boys all summer.” She says with a sad smile on her face.
I hate taking her happiness away even for a minute. “We will only be gone for a couple of months. I’m sure time will fly by fast, Mother, and you won’t even feel like we are gone. Plus, you still have two other children to manage and, of course, Father.”
I kiss her on the cheek. “Thank you for the party, you outdid yourself.”
Smiling and looking around to admire her work, she turns back to me. “I’m also concerned, darling, how distance will affect your relationship with Claudette,” she sighs.
“Claudette will manage just fine," I assure her. “I’ve told you numerous times we are just friends.” I purposely leave out Claudette’s real obsession is with Tony. “I’m sure she will find a nice guy without her intimidating male friend around,” I add a wink to the statement.
Suddenly, I feel a pair of arms wrap around my waist from behind. “Congratulations, big bro! I wish I could go back to Europe with you. Las Vegas is so hot in the summer.”
“Hello, principessa.” I say kissing my baby sister on top of her head. I whisper into her ear. “I’ll see you for the surprise birthday party.” She looks up at me smiling, with her chocolate brown hair cascading over her shoulders and the identical brown eyes as my father.
Some of her friends call her name. She gives me a quick kiss on the cheek. “I have to go. I’ll facetime you weekly.”
“My children are growing up too quickly for my liking.” Mother sighs.
I hug and kiss my mother on the cheek, whispering in her ear, “You will be busy with B this summer and never even notice we are gone.”
“Santos.” I jolt away from my mother’s embrace when I hear my father’s baritone voice calling me.
Capturing spectators along the way, he strides toward us puffing on his cigar. Like my mother, he never seems to age. He exudes strength and power effortlessly. He kisses my mother on her forehead, trying to ignore the dislike stamped all over her beautiful face. She hates his smoking but even more so when he lights his cigar indoors. My father looks my way, “I would like a word with you before you and your brother leave.”
“Well, that’s my cue to say a final goodbye, my exquisite boy,” states my mother. “Make sure you check in often and take care of each other.” Mother gives me a final tight hug. Pulling away, she steps towards my father waving his smoke away. She lightly pinches his cheeks and gives him a quick kiss on his nose, raises her eyebrows, and then, like a mystical creature, waltzes away.
I glance over at my father, noticing the special smile that appears on his face reserved only for her. “Santos, I’ve desperately held a tight grip onto the most beautiful creature on this planet for twenty-eight years, and she still gives me goosebumps. I surely do not deserve her. That is why she pinches me, to let me know I’m not dreaming.” Looking back at me, “You, my son, are destined to be successful and also deserving of such a beautiful woman. When you finally find her, shower her only with your love. Material objects will not be necessary. Do you understand me?”
This was one of many speeches directed only to me over the years. Antonio Ferrari had made a deal with the devil many moons ago. It continually pulls him in and out of the dark and light world. He tries to make up for this by not only flourishing my mother with affection but also showering her with an overabundance of gifts which helps balance the guilt of his business decisions. Over the years, the gifts have become grander, yet my mother’s eyes continue to dim with a little less sparkle.
His baritone voice notched up, “Son, you have a shot at the light with a beautiful creature. Do not screw it up by impregnating a puttana or ending up carelessly on enemy soil once again,” he snaps.
Wait, what? Enemy soil? Shit, did he know about the yacht incident? Slanting him a quizzical scowl, I shake my head. Of course, he knows. He’s Antonio Ferrari after all. Just the name shouts power at all levels in society.
“Are we clear?” asks my father.
“Crystal clear, Father.” I say with a respectful but sharp tone.
Nodding, he gives me an awkward shoulder hug. “I need to take care of some business. Congratulations, son, you’ve done well. Enjoy your party and text when you land.” Then, off he strides out of the banquet room, the smoke of his cigar following him.
Being on edge by this time with the need to get to the airport, I text Angelo, expecting no response as I had seen him leave a while ago with one of his regular bimbos: Find your own way to airport. I’m leaving with or without you.
Still feeling stifled, I continue up the elevator to the suite that I’ve called home for the past several years. Not wanting a roommate or a dirty, noisy, and disorganized frat house, my father rented a suite for me. I wanted to be close to campus and work and still have the luxuries I was used to, like housekeeping and room and laundry service. With a state-of-the-art spa and fitness club at my
beck and call, it was a good place to call home during the time I spent in New York City.
Glancing at the piano, my most prized possession, I feel my fingers itching to play and get lost in some beautiful music. But time is running out, so I start packing.
As I’m getting ready to take a quick shower and change before I head to the airport, I hear a knock at the door. Wearing only my black form-fitting briefs, I chuckle when I open the door and see an unamused Claudette. She always manages to make me smile and put me in a good mood. She looks stunning tonight in a glittery green dress, which compliments both her emerald green eyes and auburn hair. Brushing past me, she waltzes in without an invite.
“Hey Claudette, I noticed you fluttering around downstairs and wondered if you were going to stop by and say goodbye to your second favorite guy.”
“Oh Sonny, trying to act like Angelo does not suit you.” Claudette states, rolling her eyes at me. “I can’t believe you are leaving me behind all summer. If I don’t get that internship at the MET, I might just follow you and Angelo and have some fun too.”
Eyeing the packed bags, she plops her small but bodacious body on the couch and gives me an even deeper frown. I watch her trying not to tear up. We both know she is more upset about Tony not paying any attention to her than about me leaving. Hoping to coax her into a better mood, I respond, “Cheer up! I will see you in July for the surprise birthday party,” I emphasize with quotation fingers.
“Awe, who told you?" She asks. “It was supposed to be a surprise with a big family gathering.”
“Still underestimating me after all this time I see.”
The teasing produced the desired smile from her. “Never.” Rolling her eyes, she adds, “You’re are the smartest, most calculating, second most desirable Ferrari brother.”
“You will be flying over with Tony and my parents, that should be something to look forward too.”