by K. Forest
I lunged at him in fury, and we proceeded to go punch for punch while we both mouthed ‘that’s all the fight you have in you?’ egging each other on. I’m not sure of how much time passed, but we beat the crap out of each other. Finally, panting and bruised, we laid on the manicured lawn of the estate. Not finished yet, Angelo stated that he could and would continue doing this for weeks to come until I straightened up. Taunting me that he was the king of the ring, which I knew for a fact was true and he could last much longer than me.
My brother remains an undefeated underground fighter from a few years back. I gave him everything I had, and he took it like a champ and gave back what he got. Even in my alcohol-infused state, I knew everything he said was true. He of all people knew what I needed and wouldn’t stop trying until I finally figured it out.
Standing up, I warily reached out a hand to him in surrender. We took our battered bodies to the lounge chairs like beaten warriors. I had believed Angie when he threatened to have this brawl every day until I got my head out of my ass. It had a rather sobering effect, as I had never had any masochistic tendencies.
Poor Germano and Oskar were beside themselves at our caveman like style of tough love. I admit, it was very uncouth of us but exactly what the doctor ordered. They brought out multiple ice bags, some aspirin, and a very large pot of coffee. As we rested, my thoughts drifted toward to my daughter, Sofia.
Angelo was right, she has no understanding of my loss, and while she is surrounded by family that dotes on her, I have avoided seeing her. Whenever I see her, it’s like a knife cut, as she is the spitting image of her beautiful mother. Angelo has actually pounded some sense into me, and I finally feel part of my thick armor melt away.
After that brotherly love incident, I worked hard at reshaping my life. While not easy, it did get better. Getting involved back in our business helped me refocus on things other than myself. The days and weeks passed quickly as I walked the road to recovering bits and pieces of the old me. Getting back into business also brought Lia into my life once again. She has become a good companion when I needed one.
However, Sofia remains difficult for me. When I see her or hear her laughter, it seems to pull me back into a vortex of misery. Avoiding her is just easier. I console myself that she has plenty of others in her life who give joy. She dotes on Angelo, who continues to call her his little sunflower. I made the decision, much to Angelo’s dismay, to move back into the boathouse. There, not surrounded by constant reminders of what could have been, the healing is easier. Half of my time is spent there, and the other half on my sailboat. Both left me feeling at peace. That course left Angelo unhappily ambling around by himself in the large Grisole Estate house.
After some lengthy discussion between the two of us and the Morrones, we convinced them to move into the large estate house along with the two children, their nanny, and Oskar. Angelo moved into their smaller home, and our living arrangements seem acceptable to all for the time being. While visiting, I could choose to stay with Angelo or stay in a bedroom in the estate house. As grandparents, the Morrones had taken on quite a project raising two babies once again. I wanted to make sure they are propped up with as much help as they were willing to accept or we feel they need. Surrounded by family members who give them love along with an assortment of horses, cats, and even a dog, both children are blossoming.
“What the...!” My ankle is tugged down, and I get sucked under the water. Gulping and gasping, while sputtering out water, I feel a punch to my gut. Before I can react, I feel two hands wrap around my neck giving me a rough tug. I am kicking furiously and throwing punches at the same time, and I am suddenly let go. Kicking hard, I reach the surface gasping for air.
Getting my surroundings, I find myself staring into hooded brown eyes as well as a pair of jungle cat green eyes. Heckling along with uproarious laughter accompanies both my brothers.
“Crazy assholes! What the hell are you thinking? I don’t feel like drowning especially at the hands of you two jerks.” I manage to sputter out.
“See, he wants to live. Stop worrying, Angie!” Tony chortles loudly, splashing Angelo in the face. Then, he looks back at me. “Seriously, Sonny, you really need to start working out with J.P. and his crew. You are seriously out of shape. You were so preoccupied; you didn’t even hear us coming.” Tony gives me his big brother warning.
I look over at Angelo, annoyed yet feeling surprisingly more a like my old self. “Angie, you have to stop these ambushes. I promised you, and I’m making the effort.” I say truthfully.
He gives me a look and a quick nod, then starts to float on his back. Pointing up at the sky he says, “See that lone cloud hovering over us? Doesn’t it look ethereal gazing down at us unworthy humans?” He states in one of his rare poetic moments.
Tony imitates Angelo’s position. “Looks like a unicorn to me,” he says looking at the cloud.
Laying back into a floating position, I suddenly see a unicorn clear as day. “Beauty!” I whisper out loud.
“She’ll always be watching over you and Sofia. We have three guardian angels watching over all of us.” Angelo says softly.
“So, let them enjoy paradise and not make their job any harder. It’s already a heck of a job given our inherited world.” Tony pipes up.
We lay there floating in silence for a few moments. “Sonny, I’m honored to be your tag team partner; however, I am beat and need a break. You are up as Sofia cries anytime anyone but you or I dip her in the water. She is waiting for you on the shore.” Angie announces.
“Fine!” I splash them both. “Race you clowns!” Barreling off across the water doing the crawl stroke to land I know they will not even try to follow.
Ever since Angelo and I had our drunken brawl, I’ve worked at finding positives each day. Today, it’s having those two jerks as my brothers. Making my way to the shallow water, I spot my blue-eyed, honey blonde girl playing in the sand with Nicholas.
As soon as she sees me, she gets up and toddles toward me, both hands stretched out. “Papa!”
My mother in-law turns around and smiles at me. “She wants her papa to take her swimming.” She gives Sofia a kiss on the cheek before handing her to me.
It’s a weird sensation holding her. She smells like baby, sugar, and horse all combined. It’s a delicious scent which always reminds me of her mother. Abruptly, I squeeze her tightly feeling close to my wife. That’s when the dread seeps in, and I feel like I am falling into a black hole again. The urge to jump into the cyclone becomes desperate.
“Hey, Sunflower! Are you going to get your little piggy toes wet again?” I hear Angelo asking as he leans in giving Sofia a kiss on her head. And just like that, I am pulled back into the present. Sofia squeals as the cool water drips down her sun-heated little body.
“Come on, let’s go for that swim.” I say and place her in the nook of my arm, lowering us into the water.
“Acqua!” She squeals, splashing the water.
My in-laws speak to Sofia and Nicholas in Italian while Angelo and I speak to them in English. Angelo read something about being bilingual shaping the brain early on, which allows children to tackle anything academic in the future. It warms me how much he has invested himself in my little girl and my godson. I can see it’s taking a toll on him, and that’s just another reason I need to try harder.
I float on my back and place her on my chest and slowly turn her on her back. I point to the lone unicorn cloud. “Look, Sofia! Mama is up there watching over us. She loves you very much and will always guide you.”
She and I float for a while, then I notice she is yawning. “Time to get you ready for a snooze, my beautiful girl.” My mother-in-law is waiting for us with a towel and wraps her up like a little taco. I give her a light kiss and tell her that I will see her in the morning.
I changed into my riding gear and head down the stairs. The guys were in the midst of playing a game, swearing and razzing each other like old times. It’s nice seeing Tony around
more, knowing there will be little time for it in his future.
“Heading for a ride, Sonny?” Angelo asks.
“Yeah, I will be back in a few hours.” I respond.
Tony and Sam shake their heads and start throwing bills at Angelo. “That’s what I thought. Have a good, long ride brother!” He gives me his signature devilish smile, and I just shake my head at him.
He is such a pain in my ass, but I love him and owe him a debt of gratitude that can never be repaid. “Goodbye, ladies!” I say, walking out the door.
Stopping mid-step I see Lia leaning against her bike holding her helmet. “A little birdie mentioned you were going on a long ride.” She smiles at me with raised eyebrows. “You were going exploring without me? How dare you?” She jokes.
Leave it for Angelo to call upon the next person to babysit me. Lia has been a good friend. I enjoy her presence and companionship. One thing I do know, I will never love a woman like I love Katarina ever again. No one will ever come close to how I feel about her. But being with Lia is easy, and our stories are already laid out. It’s uncomplicated amidst everything else in my life, and that is what I need for now.
“You never need an invitation, Firecracker! Let’s see if you can keep up!” I say smiling back at her.
Laughing, she puts her helmet on. “Get the bike, Playboy. Time to ride, and less talk.” She responds back.
Questions of why it happened and why it was her and not me will still exist until the day I die. However, today is also a day for me to move on with the living humans that are in my life. I am where I need to be for the time being.
Riding with the wind flowing around me, I feel very much alive. There will be a time when I will meet my beauty again, but for now I need to live and protect the light she left behind.
To be continued with Angelo’s Story (Book 2)
THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT or, in my case, the forbidden girl. Although I received a slight warning from my brother Sonny, I was never told she was off limits by my family. It was more of a forgone conclusion because of her age. Maria easily integrated into our family when Sonny decided she was more than just an employee. Sonny had resolved he would foster her care, similar to what our Uncle Carmine had done years ago with Mateo and Sam. Back then she had been a punk street kid known as Indigo but also fairly well known as a genius within the computer world. She carefully chose the hacking jobs she did for people, staying under the radar as she was on probation. Somehow Sonny had seen something in her that deserved a chance at a good life. I can only attribute karma for bringing her into our business.
For close to four years, I observed Maria blossoming into a stunning, self-assured woman. I watched without attracting any notice, or so I thought. The only one who realized my true intentions and had kept my confidence was now deceased. Talking to my sister-in-law Katarina had been easy as she was nonjudgmental. She had observed our interaction during that Christmas celebration at her home and picked up on my fascination with Maria. Smiling, knowing restraint was one of my lesser qualities, she still emphatically advised me that patience and time would win me the prize.
Hell, women had always been like a daily smorgasbord to me, between my last name being Ferrari and my carefree lifestyle. When I first met Maria, I was totally mystified as to why I was so drawn to her. She has the personality of a she-devil, is brilliant, yet resembles a nineteen-eighties waif runway model. No hips, no boobs, and no ass, which were my usual basic requirements in a female. Maria just had lots of sass—the complete opposite of my usual amiable conquests. But she did have the most sensual lips I have ever seen. The years have only increased my desire to run my tongue over those erotic lips of hers, while my fingers raked through her dark, bobbed hair. Occasionally I would go and trample those feelings with alcohol and meaningless hookups. Yet no one or any chemical substance was able to strip my yearning to call this woman mine. I also wanted to get to know the real Maria, stripped of the facade both of us often erect whenever we were together.
While her presence often has a calming effect when she speaks to the softer side of me, there are many times she has left me totally exasperated at her impudence. Lately I’ve been left with the uneasy feeling that there was much I still don’t know about her. Having meticulously checked everything she is involved in; I haven’t been able to uncover a single thing that should make me feel this way. So why do I feel as though I have missed something important. It was a gut feeling I had deep down inside. She leaves me both frustrated and worried. This woman is totally mystifying. An enigma. “Time kills deals,” was an old saying my father often used. Somehow, I feel her gradually slipping away from me. This is not a feeling I can reconcile with.
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About the Author
K. Forest lives in the United State happily with her husband and dog.
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