“I can’t argue with the validity of that statement. I know some extremely talented people who have just only begun to understand that talent, and thus started working hard at it. You know, you are the first Sophomore I really have met. I mean there was Merc, but somehow that was different.”
“I’m not surprised you feel your time with Merc was different. They are definitely the black sheep of our class. This School Ranking Competition excites me though. It seems Sophangence is making strides to become more like a normal college campus. We are so divided by our classes. I don’t know anyone outside my own class really. I had my mentor, but they are long gone, so that doesn’t help. I know that it actually caused our classes to become more divided, as everyone wanted someone from their class to be number 1 in the school, but I think if we have more interclass events and activities like this, it won’t be that way in the future. You seem to be a much nicer guy than I imagined. In the spirit of unity, why don’t I buy you a drink to congratulate you on being the number 2 in the school? That is only if your boyfriend won’t turn me into an ice cube for doing so.”
“I think you are pretty safe. I don’t drink, not to mention it is barely noon, but I’d go for lunch.”
“Not as fun as day drinking, but I’ll take it.”
Together they make for the shuttle to catch the train toward the Cafeteria. Talking happily about various things, Anaar finds it refreshing to have someone interested in him, and not romantically, or for his abilities. Pryshka genuinely seemed happy just to be able to meet someone she could connect with outside of her own class.
Being a Water Affinity, she lamented the idea of division, so though the school promoted integration and unity of the affinities, they were just as close minded as the world at large when it came to their classes. By the time they had sat down to lunch, Anaar felt comfortable asking Pryshka about something he had been curious about.
“What exactly does your ability do? Is that what allows you to control that sword of yours?”
Looking at him confused as she munched on a mouth full of salad, once again clearly not caring about making any sort of romantic impression on him, “What ability?”
“Aren’t you a Quintessence?”
“Nope, just your run of the mill Water Affinity with above average regeneration. I’m no Schrodes, but I do well enough for myself. Is it so hard to believe that a normal person could be number 1? I know I can’t make portals, or blow up things, or freeze people, but I work really hard to be where I am.”
“I didn’t mean it like that, it is just… Nevermind, forget I said anything. So your sword, Pratikaar you called it? What does it mean?”
“It means retribution. I’m sure you can tell from my accent, but I’m a dual baby. Though I was born in Phoenix, I spent a lot of time in my parents’ hometown in India.”
“Yeah, I have another Water Affinity friend, Zenia, who is just like that. I think it is cool you get to stay true to your heritage.”
“Sometimes it is hard. With the way the world is, it makes it difficult for people like me. I know you are probably thinking much less of me, but country borders are so important. The only reason I am allowed a dual citizenship is because I am a Water Affinity. If war were to break out right now, and I was told that I had to choose a side, I don’t know which I would choose. I’m American, I was born here, I was raised here, but so much of my family is back in India, and I have so much love for India. In my heart I’m just as much Indian as I am American, but that type of thinking won’t be accepted during wartime. People will be deported if they can’t prove their loyalty. Not that it would be a bad thing to live in India, but that is essentially telling me I must give up my American heritage. I know I chose Sophangence, instead of one of the many schools like it in India, but that doesn’t mean I would be ready to take up arms against them.”
“I wish I could say I understood how you felt, and that I had some answers for you, but I don’t even know much about myself. Since starting here, I have been on a journey to find out more about who I am and where I come from. They say the grass is always greener on the other side, but I think I would rather know where I came from, and have a deep tie with my ethnic culture, rather than know nothing.”
“Everyone has their struggles I suppose. I talk about my struggles with my identity, but I have never had to worry about money, or people treating me unfairly just because I am attuned to a certain element. It is hard when you want to obsess over your own problems, making them out to be so enormous, when there are much bigger problems with the world at large. It makes you feel really selfish.”
“I don’t think anyone should be expected to always put the problems of the world above their own. It just isn’t human nature. I don’t think we should be made to constantly feel bad that some people have less than others. Before coming here, I didn’t have much of anything, food, money, status, but what I always had in abundance was love. My mom has, and always will love me, no matter what. So even though people could look at my situation from the outside and pity me, I’m not deserving of, nor do I want their pity. I was fine with what I had. Maybe in some cases it is our privilege that makes us think that people are less than, thus needing pity from us higher beings. In reality, they may be living better, more fulfilled lives than all of us in their own way.”
“That is an interesting way to put it. Well, that was an exciting end to a week wasn’t it? Do you mind if I save you to my contacts? I actually liked talking to you. My class is filled with Water Affinities, so even in my own class, there is a bit of division where other affinities keep away from us, mainly because of our snooty attitudes, so I don’t get to interact with many people outside of my affinity, or my class for that matter.”
“Sure thing. I’d be happy to hang out more. I have two jobs, and I have started going on missions, but I do have to eat, so I’m sure we can get together more.”
“Wow, talk about an overachiever. Here I thought I was at the top of my game. Oh, if you will, please tell Maggie I’m sorry. I hope she doesn’t hate me. It wasn’t personal. Well it was, but you get what I mean.”
“She’s tough. I’m sure she will be fine, but I’ll pass along the message.”
“Thanks, talk to you soon!” She hurries away, her hips swaying in her low riding pants, as she empties her tray, and leaves the Cafeteria.
Putting in a call to Phavian, Anaar finds it odd when he fails to answer, as he will literally walk out of class just to talk to him usually. Dropping him a message that he was having lunch in the Cafeteria if he wanted to join him, he was sure he would get a response as it combined his two favorite things. After waiting for about ten minutes with no response, he goes for another round of food, as he did not want to be rude to Pryshka on their first time eating together.
Making his way back to his room, he goes through the slew of messages from various people, most congratulating him, some making comments like he should have just blown Phavian up, since he could always get a new boyfriend or girlfriend, then subsequently offering just in case he was wondering. He was surprised to find one from Ixnes, it standing out from all the rest. Though short, it was the most telling as it simply read: “You really do not care for the spotlight, do you?”
Once in his room, he took off and stored all his weapons, even his bandolier of knives that rarely left him. Changing out of his combat attire and jumping into the shower, he figured now was as good a time as any to go through his hair routine. Even when he was done with everything, going through more messages from people, he still had not gotten anything from the person he wanted to hear from the most.
Dressing himself and running next door, he entered Phavian’s room to find Haymana there, but he was not. It appeared that Phavian too had showered and changed, but he had not been back to his room in days, finding it hard to return to when he had so much more in Anaar’s room. As he was leaving, he noticed that the cabinet was open, and there was a bottle missing. Not liking this feeling he was getting, he ha
d an idea where Phavian was. Making his way up the elevator in Tempest Tower, as not even he was willing to make the hike up all the stairs, he knocks on a door waiting patiently. When it finally opens, he hears immediately from inside:
“I told you he was smart enough to find out where you were! Or maybe you are just that much of a predictable idiot!” Turning to him clearly annoyed, Codi gives him a fairly powerful zap. “What did you do to visit this horror upon me?! All he is doing is drinking and moping about how you don’t treat him right. Didn’t he just kick your ass? Shouldn’t you be the one drunk?! Fucking men, I don’t understand you. You get no congratulations from me until you fix him!”
“Fix him?! I don’t even know what I did!”
“Well you did something fucker! Or at least he thinks you did. Either way I’m going to go get more booze since he has already finished the last of mine and I have guests to entertain! When I get back, I want both of you gone!” She pushes past him in a huff, headed down the hall. At the elevator she turns, pointing with pure menace. “And if I find even one pube, or drop of man fluids, or anything that indicates you have defiled the sanctity of my pure and beautiful space, the denizens of hell will be looking up, thankful for their wonderful living conditions!” Giving him another zap, she enters the elevator, disappearing.
Entering the room, he finds Phavian sitting on Codi’s couch, nearly empty bottle in hand. Sighing as he shakes his head, he moves toward Phavian, attempting to take the bottle from him.
“Phavian, give me the bottle. It is like 3pm, why are you drunk?”
“Go away! I don’t want to talk to you! Cheater!”
“Cheater? Ugh… What in the hell is he talking about…”
Moving to take the bottle from him again, Phavian twists and turns, putting up a struggle, his strength easily overpowering Anaar. As Anaar stumbles backwards, he quickly turns the bottle up to his lips, downing the remaining contents inside.
Standing up shakily, he waggles the bottle at Anaar. “You think you are sooooo shmart! I know what you did! Cheater!”
“Phavian, we were together for most of the time leading up to the match, and I couldn’t have done anything in the brief amount of time afterward. No one has cheated on you. Though in this state you are giving me ideas.”
Stumbling toward him, Anaar catches the shaky Phavian as he falls into him. “Do you think so little of me? Am I just not good enough for you?!”
“Seriously, what are you talking about?”
Exploding into a teary outburst, “Why did you let me win?! Why couldn’t you just fight me fair and square?!”
Aww fuck… So much for me thinking I was being clever… “Oh right, that would be good, I’m sure I’d get boyfriend of the year for blowing you into a million pieces.”
“You know what the fuck I mean! We share our clothes, our food, our beds, we have been inside one another, you think I can’t tell when you are lying to me?! I knew I couldn’t win. You regenerate too fast for me to do any real damage. Even if you turned off your regeneration, you still could have at least put up a fight! You might have fooled everyone else with your little performance, dodging at just the right times, never putting any force behind your blows. You even used your most disadvantageous weapon against me to add insult to injury! Then you dove right into my blow. Like you would ever just trip accidentally! You just laid there like you were unconscious knowing full well nothing was wrong with you!”
“What exactly would you have me do huh? Show that a bone crushing blow from a top tier Juggernaut was going to do nothing to me at all? What good would that have served? Everyone loves you. They have always loved you. You are the king of the school. That is your rightful place! You wouldn’t let me concede. I just wanted it to be over. Everyone has their role to play. Yours is to be the beautifully strong and desirable man on campus. You were trying to force me into a role I didn’t want, and I wasn’t made for! I have spent my entire life hiding who I really am from everyone. What was I supposed to do? Just throw up my hands and say, ‘Surprise! I’m a freakishly powerful True Water Quintessence!’”
“I know that you love me. I really do, but do you know how much it hurts to know that despite my efforts, I’ll never be able to protect you? That I’ll never be able to reach you? You think I don’t know, but I can feel that there are more secrets that you are hiding from me. How do you think that makes me feel?! Omission, lying, whatever you want to call it, the shit still hurts! I know you think you are protecting me, protecting others, but it is so painful when you continue to pretend we are too stupid to realize you are more than you claim. Everything with you is some sort of secret!”
Dropping his head, tears beginning to well in the corners of his own eyes, all he can muster is a faint whisper. “The secrets I carry run deeper than you can ever know. As painful as it is, the only way I can keep you safe is continuing to shoulder these burdens on my own. I do it because I must, not because I want to.”
Leaving the weeping Phavian there, he exits the room, sad and broken, not sure where things will go from this point.
20
After getting back from the hospital, Maggie found herself both elated and deflated. On one hand she had looked at the rankings to find she was placed 7th in the school. There was something staggering to her about that revelation as she did not need to rely on Anaar to gain her that ranking.
During their Melee, she had always doubted if she had truly earned her place as number 3. As she moved into this school wide tournament, this doubt had only increased. If she had ended up at the bottom of the school rankings, it would have been the validation that she was nothing without Anaar. Now as number 7, she not only felt more confident in her abilities, but she was able to feel better about her place by her friend’s side.
As much as she appreciated the swell in confidence, there was still the fact she had been so utterly defeated almost immediately during her second interaction with the Indian girl. Unsure of what this meant for herself, it became clear just how ill equipped she was at dealing with competent opponents that were in melee range. Just as quickly did the pride and confidence appear, it was reseeded with insecurity.
Finding she did not have much of an appetite, she took a long shower to wash away the fatigue of the day. When she had finished, she made herself a mug of hot tea, a new blend she had found, proceeding to call her parents. With Anaar’s and Dan’s devotion to their families, it made her own relationship seem barely existent. She loved her parents, but they had always been the type that pushed for her independence, so they did not require the type of commitments as her friends. Though she would never be allowed to miss major events and holidays, it was unnecessary to bog them down with the individual minutia of life.
Explaining the importance of what the evolution of the school rankings meant to her parents proved to be a much more arduous task than she expected, as they still could not even wrap their heads around her class ranking. It also did not help that to them, there was no one who could be any better than she was, so any accolades she received, she would have gotten even if she were at the bottom of the rankings. Once she had found out how the animals back home were doing, she quickly finished the call, finding she was feeling somewhat fatigued yet again.
Excited that she at least had one day in which she could rest completely before getting back into the swing of classes, she sent Stefani a message asking if she wanted to have breakfast. Receiving a quick response, asking if she was doing well, Maggie calmed Stefani’s concerns, which made her that much more excited to accept her invitation. Sending one final message before she climbed into bed, she finally closed her eyes for some well-deserved rest.
Meeting Stefani that morning for breakfast, she is immediately grabbed by the girl in a tight embrace as she received full scrutiny from discerning eyes.
“You look ok. Are you sure you are ok?”
“I’m fine Stef. I’m a little tired, and I didn’t have much of an appetite last night, but things are getting
better.”
“Oh! My grandma has an old Indonesian recipe that would fix you right up! It is not exactly the best tasting when my mom tries to make it, but my dad grew up with it, so maybe he can give me the recipe. He is out of the country right now though…”
Giving her a dismissive wave, “Seriously Stef, I’m fine. Don’t worry.”
The two women make their way into the Cafeteria, chatting about a few basic things before obtaining their food, taking their seats. Though Maggie simply wanted to have some girl talk with Stefani, hoping to jumpstart her move back to normalcy, Stefani seemed quite obsessed with her health and the results of the school rankings.
“You have such gorgeous skin, I can’t believe that animal did that to you! I don’t know who she was, but I don’t think she came out better than you did in the rankings. They need pictures next to the names or something…”
“I’m actually not upset. What she did made sense. I can’t say I would have done anything different.”
“How can you say that?! Of course you would do things differently!”
Shaking her head as she cuts into her French toast, laden with mixed berry compote and syrup, “It is a battlefield. Even if we aren’t trying to kill each other, we still want to win, and we are willing to do anything necessary to achieve that end. She also had a bit of an axe to grind with me, so I guess that is the cost of victory. Just because I won before, doesn’t mean I will win every time, and that fleeting victory might paint a target on my back. I think I understand why Anaar acts the way he does.”
“Well I guess I wouldn’t know anything about that, so I will trust your assessment. Maybe one day I might be in the same boat as you. I’d like to think I would be capable of staying the same as I am, but I can already see the changes in myself, so I might be delusional.”
Divulgence (Song of Sophangence Book 2) Page 25