‘I understand.’
‘Look, Claudia, I know Millie likes chatting with you, and since it’ll take time for her to make friends and she’s in a downright unsociable phase anyway, I’m happy with that. I also know she loves your shop, and while I can live with her wearing a lump of rock around her neck, and I know you say your stock is harmless, there are a few grey areas where I’m struggling with that “Each to his own” thing.’
‘People are often afraid of what they don’t understand.’
At this, he looked defensive. ‘“Afraid” is a strong word. “Cautious” might be more accurate. “Askance”, possibly.’
He smiled – a lop-sided, self-deprecating smile that crinkled the lines at the corners of his eyes.
Claudia laughed at his choice of words. ‘I’d be happy to explain anything in Healing Waves that you don’t like the look of. Come back with me now, if you like.’ Although Pudding will resent the delayed dinner service.
But he shook his head. ‘Millie’s expecting me back. I need to cook dinner before she takes it upon herself to make a start. That girl’s like a human wrecking ball in the kitchen.’
‘Do you think she’s settling in at school?’
‘She says it’s okay, and she’s been buckling down to homework, but who knows? Communication’s limited.’ He released a breath. ‘I only hope all this upheaval will be worth it.’
Wanting to reassure him, Claudia laid a hand on his arm. ‘I’m sure it will. Give it time.’
‘Yeah.’ He looked at her for a long time. ‘I’m just so damned tired.’
Claudia tried not to show her surprise that he would confess this to her. ‘You’ve already been through such a lot, Jason, and now you have a new life to get to grips with. That’s exhausting, I know. But things will turn around, and you’ll start to feel energised by your new environment, the new challenges.’
‘I hope so.’ He managed a small smile. ‘Thanks.’
‘What for?’
‘For listening.’
This, too, surprised her. ‘You don’t have anyone? To listen?’
Jason hesitated, as though wondering how much to share. ‘I had mates in Edinburgh. But I was married, I had a child, I was busy…’ His excuses fizzled out. ‘There was nobody close. I haven’t stayed in touch. I feel guilty about that, but… It’s hard to explain.’
‘You’re worried that staying in touch would keep you back in the same old place, emotionally?’
Jason stared at her, startled. ‘I suppose so. How do you know things like that?’
‘I spent a lot of time analysing my own emotions after I left my husband. I left behind all my friends, even the good ones. I didn’t want to be that Claudia any more. I felt guilty about it, but the person I’d been with them wasn’t the person I wanted to be. Does that make sense?’
‘Yes. Perfect sense.’
By unspoken consent, they turned back, walking through their own outward footprints in the sand, silent for a while, listening only to the waves and the gulls.
Claudia wondered if he regretted sharing these things with her. She wondered if she regretted sharing what she’d said with him. She hadn’t told him anything too revealing, but she had revealed more than she’d expected to.
‘Did Millie see a counsellor after her mum died?’ she asked. ‘She mentioned it, but only in passing.’
‘Yes, we tried counselling – Millie on her own, and together with me. But she hated it, so we stopped. She didn’t want to talk to me about anything, either.’
The hurt in his voice was evident, and Claudia felt for him.
‘Yesterday was the first time I’ve seen her cry in months,’ he went on. ‘What did you do with her?’ He shrugged. ‘I don’t suppose you feel you can tell me.’
‘I can, but within limits.’ Claudia thought about how much she could say without betraying Millie’s trust. ‘I have a few ways I like to release anger, regrets, negative thoughts. I was on the beach using one when Millie joined me. You draw a picture, anything you like, even squiggles, representing the thing you want to let go. Then you concentrate on it – hopefully for the last time – as the tide comes in. The idea is that as the waves take it, you release it from own system and back into the universe.’
He nodded, seemingly not too disturbed by the idea. ‘Any idea what she drew?’
‘Yes, but it wouldn’t be fair to tell you.’ When he didn’t push – something that pleased her – she said, ‘Since you’ve probably already guessed, I can tell you it was connected to her grief. I could try to think of other things, if Millie wants to explore them. And if you don’t mind.’
She saw his Adam’s apple bob in his throat and suspected that his natural prejudice against all things ‘weird’ was warring with the beneficial effect of yesterday’s impromptu exercise on his daughter.
‘I appreciate what you did for her,’ Jason said. ‘It sounds straightforward, and it can’t do any harm. I wouldn’t mind something along those lines, I suppose.’
‘I’ll bear that in mind.’ Tired of treading on eggshells, Claudia decided it was time to have a little fun with him. ‘If my friend Tanya had been with us, we could have woven a spell into it.’
His face was a priceless picture – well worth the danger. ‘Did you just say “spell”?’
‘I did. Tanya would argue that asking the universe, and whichever goddesses might be appropriate, for their intervention would improve the outcome.’
Jason’s eyebrows were nearly up in his hair. ‘And this Tanya is…?’
‘My best friend. And a Wiccan.’
He curled his lip. ‘You mean a witch.’
‘No, I meant Wiccan. Technically, there’s a difference, although the lines are blurred. And you can get the idea of warts and broomsticks and black hats out of your head. You’re an intelligent man. You know that’s just historical rot, right?’
‘What about modern rot?’
She grinned. ‘As you said, “Each to his own”.’
Claudia wondered if she’d gone too far, but it was as good a way as any to test out how reticent he still was about anything outside of his comfort zone.
As they approached Healing Waves, he was still shaking his head and muttering, ‘Friends with a witch, for crying out loud.’ But his face wasn’t too thunderous, and she knew he understood she’d been teasing him when he held his hands out wide and said, ‘Claudia, we both know that I’m a practical bloke who wouldn’t recognise an aura if it hit me in the face. My parents were science teachers – one Physics, one Chemistry. Have a heart.’
Smiling, she gave it one more shot. ‘Why don’t you tell Millie you’ll be late tomorrow? Come by after work and ask anything you like about my goods.’ When he hesitated, she said, ‘Whether you like it or not, Millie’s taken a shine to me and the shop. I can’t do anything about that. But I can try to make you feel better about it.’
Jason nodded. ‘Alright. Tomorrow, then.’
Pleased, Claudia added, ‘Oh, and Jason? About not having anyone to listen? You know where I am if you need me.’
For anything, she thought as she walked away.
Jason struggled to concentrate at work the next day, still distracted by his daughter’s tears at the weekend and by what Claudia had said about Millie taking a shine to her shop. Her words had brought on a dawning realisation that it might be less about her trying to influence Millie and more about Millie bothering Claudia… That Claudia, kind though she was, might not welcome being saddled with Millie. Perhaps he should bear that in mind.
And then there was the small matter of admitting more than he would have liked to her about not keeping in touch with old friends. After all, he hardly knew her. But she’d immediately understood, and that was freeing.
It was only after he had left her that Claudia’s own admission had filtered through. She’d been married and left her husband. That wasn’t something he’d expected her to tell him – although he suspected she’d only done so to make him feel be
tter about his own situation.
Was she was involved with anyone now? If so, surely he would have heard about it? Nothing was private around here.
When he arrived promptly for his tour of her shop, Claudia greeted him with, ‘You made it!’
‘Did you think I wouldn’t?’
‘I wasn’t sure,’ she admitted.
‘I like to keep my word, if I can.’
‘I believe that about you. Flip the “Closed” sign, will you?’
Her navy tunic swirling around her as she moved, Claudia made tea using leaves that Jason would sooner decline but couldn’t work out how to, despite silently begging that strange cat of hers for any bright ideas as he tickled between his ears.
The cat only gave him a baleful look.
Well, you’re no help.
Claudia passed him a mug of steaming but indeterminate liquid, and he sniffed it dubiously.
‘It’s a vitality mix,’ she explained.
‘Why? Do I look like I’m lacking vitality?’
‘You look like a man who’s had a long day at work.’
He noted the way her lips curved, then took a sip of tea to distract himself. It distracted him alright. He managed to stop short of spitting it out, but it was a close call.
‘I’ll let it cool.’ Placing it on the counter and hoping she’d forget about it, he glanced around. ‘The repairs look good. You must be exhausted.’
‘Yes, but most of it’s done now. I’m just waiting on the textile orders. And I replaced some soap, but not all of it yet. That takes time and hard work. I need a breather.’
He jerked his thumb at her poster advertising a crystal workshop. ‘You call that a breather?’
‘I call it flagging up to my regulars that it’s business as usual.’ She shrugged. ‘It’ll be the last before the summer season gets going. I’ll be too busy then.’
Only a week ago, Jason would have assumed that workshops were a marketing ploy to get the punters in and persuade them to buy whatever she was touting. Now, he thought she was brave to add to her workload after her traumas.
He crossed to the newly painted wall. ‘I like the baskets.’
‘They were Tanya’s idea.’
‘That’s your witch friend?’
‘Careful, Jason, you almost said that with a straight face! Rest assured, we obtained the baskets by the usual means and we travelled by car, not broomstick.’
Jason smiled. He liked it when she teased him.
‘So. Where do you want to start?’ she asked.
Since he couldn’t quibble with home-made soap, he moved away. But as he wandered the shop, the cat following him as if daring him to find fault, Jason began to feel foolish. Claudia was right – fantasy figures were only ornaments. Dragons, mermaids, castles… He might not like them, but they weren’t seedy like some he’d seen. The art on the walls was mostly coastal-themed. The jewellery revolved around natural materials – crystals, shells, wooden beads. No dubious symbols that might be of satanic origin. And then there was the long shelf with every type of crystal imaginable – large, glittering chunks; small, smooth stones – intriguing in their endless colours and variations.
He felt her watching him; felt he was expected to say something, ask something. In desperation, he plucked out a turquoise crystal and held it up. ‘Why do you think they have healing properties?’
‘Years of wisdom passed down. If you wouldn’t deny that some herbs or natural supplements work, then crystals having properties is no different.’
‘Hmmph.’
‘I’m not asking you to believe it, Jason. I’m asking why the idea could be harmful to your daughter, even if it doesn’t work.’
Defensive, he tried to explain. ‘I just don’t want her head filled with ideas that I…’
‘That you don’t personally subscribe to?’
‘That makes me sound churlish.’
‘It’s natural for a parent to want to pass their own values on to a child. But it’s equally natural for a child to want to push at boundaries and explore what interests them, what resonates with them.’
Her words were loaded, and as his hackles rose, his eye caught the shelf of oracle cards. ‘As for those…’
It was a comment which bought him a ten-minute lecture on the damned things. And once more, he was disarmed. He might think they were rubbish, but he could find no fault with the pictures and words on the packs she showed him, and although he was incredulous at the idea of asking a pack of cards for guidance and them providing it, he had to concede that, at worst, it was harmless nonsense.
Claudia smiled at the way he put that, but she didn’t argue, making him feel smaller by the minute.
‘Anything else?’ she asked.
He took a deep breath. ‘No. But I do owe you an apology. Again. I misjudged your shop. I don’t believe in some of what you sell, but there are worse places Millie could spend her time.’
Claudia arched a neat brow. ‘Thank you. I think.’
Aware his apology had come out half-hearted and searching for something positive to say, Jason gravitated to a display of rock-like lamps, giving off a pleasing pinkish glow. As an architect who incorporated natural materials into his designs whenever he could, he liked that about them. In fact, closer inspection of Claudia’s shop had shown him that most of what she sold was connected to the natural world.
‘Himalayan salt lamps,’ Claudia told him. ‘They cleanse by releasing negative ions. They’re especially good for bedrooms – they’re calming and absorb negativity.’
Jason sure as hell doubted the science of that, but he couldn’t deny that a little less negativity in their new home and a little more calm wouldn’t go amiss.
‘Millie likes them,’ Claudia added. ‘Why not start with one in her bedroom and see how you go?’
Jason pulled out his wallet, muttering, ‘If they reduce my daughter’s negativity in any way, shape or form, I’ll take another dozen and put them in every last nook and cranny of the house!’
Claudia smiled. ‘I’ll hold you to that.’
Jason glanced at his watch. ‘Sorry. I’ve kept you longer than I should have. I gather you have meditation tonight. Millie’s going to try it.’
‘Good. How about you?’
‘Ah. No, thanks. I have work to do.’
She gave him a disbelieving look that made him squirm. ‘Some other time?’
‘Hmm. Yes, well, thanks for the tour. Better go.’ And he scarpered.
Millie was in the kitchen when he got home, stirring something involving cans of chopped tomatoes. ‘Where’ve you been?’
‘Sorry I’m late.’ Jason toyed with any number of work-related excuses, but he didn’t lie to his only offspring. Bend the truth a little, maybe. ‘I promised I’d nip into Healing Waves on the way home.’
At that, Millie lost interest in cooking. ‘Huh? What? Why?’
Ah, the vocal dexterity of youth.
‘I…’ Because I ranted at the poor owner last week over your sodding oracle cards and she thought I was the devil incarnate but then I cooked her supper which she ate in her bathrobe and then she made you hysterical on the beach but I thanked her for it and then she offered to educate me in the ways of her shop so I wouldn’t shout at her any more.
‘She knew I had reservations about what she sells, so she invited me to ask questions.’
‘And?’
Jason sighed. ‘I don’t hold with all of it, but it isn’t as bad as I thought.’
Millie had ‘I told you so’ on the tip of her tongue, he could tell, but a flash of his eyes warned her not to voice it.
‘I bought you a present,’ he announced to deflect further questioning. ‘It’s in the hall.’
Abandoning her pans, Millie raced out, coming back in with the box and lifting out the salt lamp. ‘I love it! Thank you!’ She kissed his cheek, the nearest he got to affection nowadays.
‘It’s supposed to help with negative something-or-others,’ he informed her
knowledgeably.
She laughed, something else he didn’t see very often. ‘Yeah, I know. Can I put it in my room?’
‘That’s the idea. How was school?’
‘Science was boring. French was okay. We had a sub for English, but she usually teaches Chemistry, so she let us do what we liked. Phoebe asked me to go to after-school drama on Wednesdays.’
‘Great!’ Good old Phoebe, whoever she is. Millie had mentioned a few people’s names, but she hadn’t yet fallen in with (or been admitted to) a proper group of friends.
‘It means I’ll miss the school bus, though, so…?’
‘I can pick you up after drama.’
‘Thanks.’
Millie served up pasta and, well, tinned chopped tomatoes, which she seemed to consider an adequate sauce. Jason knew she could do better, but since he wasn’t home in time to cook, he daren’t complain. Fetching sliced chorizo to top the sumptuous dish, he made a mental note to find out about any decent takeaways within a five-mile radius.
‘How was meditation?’ Jason asked as he drove Millie home later that night.
‘Okay. My mind kept wandering, and I was a bit bored, but everyone else seemed chilled afterwards, so I’ll try again.’
‘Good for you. How much is it per week?’
‘A quid.’
‘A quid?’
‘Uh-huh. Just a donation for the tea and biscuits.’
‘Claudia doesn’t charge?’ Jason shook his head, but he was getting to know Claudia now – enough to realise she didn’t always operate for profit.
‘No. Da-ad…’
Jason recognised that wheedling tone. His daughter wanted something. ‘Yes, oh light of my life?’
‘If I’m the light of your life, then you need to get a life.’
Very probably. ‘You are my life.’
Millie made a puking noise. ‘My point exactly.’
‘May I remind you, Millie Craig, that you appear to want something and this might not be the best way to go about it?’
‘Ah. Well. I-saw-a-poster-tonight-saying-Claudia’s-holding-a-crystal-workshop-at-Healing-Waves-and-can-I-go?’ She ran the words together as though saying them too fast might stop Jason absorbing the question too well – an old technique, and well-worn.
The Little Shop in Cornwall: A heartwarming and feel good beach read Page 10