by M. J. Haag
“Fun,” I mumbled.
Near Richard and Julie’s place, we found the majority of the cows grazing in an empty lot. Many of the fey were watching the animals, too. It wasn’t until I was staring at the walking hamburgers that I thought to question how the fey had even gotten them in here.
“It wasn’t easy,” Thallirin said. “The cows are heavy and don’t hold still.”
“The fey carried them over the wall,” Zach clarified. “Richard and Ryan are at Tenacity, now, engineering doors to get in and out. Want to come with us and check it out?”
I didn’t. Not really. Because if I went back to Tenacity, I couldn’t keep putting off deciding what to do about Van. I would have to talk to Matt and face Van. However, my desire to continue to avoid the situation was what prompted me to agree.
Zach beamed at me.
“I knew you wouldn’t want to miss out.”
I forced myself to smile while my stomach churned.
Zach ran off to let Garrett know we’d be going along.
“Are you still wondering who you are?” Thallirin asked.
Glancing at him, I found him watching me intently. The steadiness of his gaze made me feel like he was looking straight into my soul.
“Yes,” I said simply.
The fey started prodding the cows from their lot to the street, and Thallirin picked me up to follow. He placed a kiss on my brow as he walked.
“What’s that for?” I asked.
“To remind you. You are mine, Brenna.”
“I like that you say it as if that’s enough. To belong to someone else. I need to be me, too. An individual.”
The tips of his ears darkened slightly.
“What did I say wrong?” I asked, reaching up and gently touching a tip. He shuddered and turned his head to set his forehead against mine.
“You said nothing wrong. That was the first time you acknowledged you are mine.”
I pulled back to look at him.
“Was it?”
He grunted, and I grinned, still playing with his ear.
“I am yours, Thallirin. I just wish you’d do something about it.”
His steps slowed, and he looked at the cows and the other fey. I could feel his resistance weakening and leaned up for a kiss, which he quickly gave and, just as quickly, ended.
“Be good, Brenna.”
I sighed and settled into his arms.
“I’m trying to be.”
He didn’t talk to me again until we reached Tenacity. According to Thallirin, getting twelve of the cows over Tolerance’s walls had been a chore. Driving those cows through Tenacity’s newly acquired, but only semi-completed, double gates was a breeze.
“This is going to make loading up for supply runs a lot easier,” Matt said, watching as Merdon and two other fey moved a pickup into place. I didn’t know where they got the heavy iron doors from, but they looked like they could keep out a hellhound. For a while, anyway.
Richard and Ryan were on top of the outer set of doors, rigging floodlights that were aimed directly toward the ground.
“Looks like it’s been a busy day,” I said.
“Very. In a good way, though. Seeing animals alive like this has people excited. It helps that a few of Tolerance’s people are here trading, too. Food in the cupboard and food walking around on four legs is a good reminder that things are getting better.”
He sighed, the sound contradicting his words.
“I should go check on the trading,” he said.
“Let me,” I offered. “I think you’ll probably be more needed here. You too, Thallirin. They’ll want this closed up before dark.”
Thallirin’s steady gaze held mine.
“We should stay together.”
I smiled.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes. I’ll be fine.”
He grunted, and I walked away.
The supply shed still had a few people lingering around it. As I approached, I heard the exchange between the guy behind the table and a man standing in front of it.
“I think she’s on a bathroom break or something,” one man said. “I’m sure she’ll be back soon.”
“Can’t you just trade for her? She brought this stuff here for a reason.”
“Sorry. I don’t know what she was looking for.”
I stepped in before it got any more heated.
“Who was here?” I asked.
“Hannah,” the guy said.
I looked down at the box full of food, knowing too well what she’d probably come to trade for, but I wasn’t about to help her get more alcohol.
“What do you have to trade?” I asked.
I traded for meat on Hannah’s behalf, figuring she could always trade up later. When her box was empty, I asked the guy to watch over her newly acquired stock until she got back.
“Fine, but I’m telling her you’re the one who traded.”
I waved to show I didn’t care and left the shed, heading away from the wall.
Before I told Matt who he harbored within his walls, I had to know how many of them were here. I’d seen Van for certain, and possibly Oscar, but what about the other men in their group?
Staying alert, I looked at every person I passed. I was ready with an explanation for my odd behavior if anyone asked. I’d say I was looking for Hannah. Hopefully, no one would point out that I wasn’t looking at the women walking around as much as I was carefully watching the men.
In the end, none of my behavior mattered. No one questioned me, and I never spotted anyone from the bunker.
Until Van found me.
Chapter Seventeen
I had been standing between two houses, following a set of footprints in the snow when a prickle of awareness raced along my spine. Snow crunched behind me.
I whirled around, facing Van. He’d dyed his hair almost black. Eyebrows, too. He almost didn’t look like the same man, except for the eyes. Those were the same.
Fear clawed at my insides. Not caring how it looked, I drew my knife.
His pleased expression didn’t falter a bit at the sight of the blade in my hand.
“You are a sight for sore eyes,” he said, his gaze roving over me. “I never thought I’d see you again.”
“I’d hoped that would be the case,” I said.
His expression clouded slightly.
“That hurts, Brenna.”
“You raped me, Van. Did you think I would forget that? Why are you here?”
“Rape? You said yes. I didn’t hold you down. And, you enjoyed it.” He stepped closer, his brow furrowing. “I felt you tighten around me. I treated you like a damn princess and fed your brother, too.”
I shook my head at him, unable to believe he honestly didn’t see what he’d done was rape. Not only was there no guilt in his eyes, the hunger was still there.
“I want you back, Brenna. I’ll keep you, and any children we have, safe.”
I made a choked sound.
“In what world do you ever think I’d willingly hook up with you?”
“In this one. You wouldn’t want me picking someone else, would you?”
Given everyone’s desperations, it wouldn’t be hard for him to find some other woman to use. Then, he’d have everything he wanted. The safety of these walls and someone to rape whenever he had the itch. The idea that the next girl might believe like I’d believed, that she’d made the choice she had to in order to survive, made my insides twist. Van was right about one thing; I didn’t want him picking someone else. But, I also sure as hell didn’t want him picking me.
“I don’t think you deserve to pick anyone. Even me.”
“Aw, now you don’t mean that. We’ll be good together, just you wait and see.”
He was insane, talking as if me being with him was a foregone conclusion. My grip on my knife tightened. I could already visualize it going through the soft underside of his jaw.
“Does what I want even matter?” I asked.
He smiled with a h
andsome tilt of his lips that made me sick.
“It does if you want me as much as I want you.”
His gaze shifted ever so slightly just behind me. I had no chance to turn before something covered my head and a thick arm closed around my throat. I couldn’t breathe. Instead of using the knife like I should have, I flailed in panic. Someone pinned my arms to my sides and took my knife while another grabbed my legs.
“Don’t kill her. I need her.”
The words barely registered as I continued to try to suck in air and the world grew dark.
My head throbbed like a bitch, and I groggily wondered if the doctor had gotten me drunk again. I moaned at my stupidity, and the sound came out oddly muffled. Frowning, I tried to sit up.
It took a moment for the fog in my head to clear enough to understand why I couldn’t.
I lay on my side with my hands bound behind my back and a cloth filling my mouth. I tried to force it out with my tongue, but it wouldn’t move. Gagging from my efforts, I stopped and just concentrated on breathing through my nose.
When I was under control again, I lifted my head from the mattress and looked around. Across the room, a girl lay on another bed. She was young. Barely a teen. Her eyes were wide with fear as she stared back. Like me, she was bound and gagged and lying on her side.
Seeing the terror in her eyes forced me to calm my own. I nodded at her and noticed another girl on the floor between our beds. Hannah’s curls were unmistakable.
Relaxing my head on the mattress, I tried to move my feet. They were bound, too, but had more wriggle room than my hands. In my hurry this morning, I hadn’t tied my boots tightly. If I could—
“You’re awake,” Van said.
I looked up as he entered the bedroom. He had a tray with three glasses of water, which he placed on the dresser. He didn’t look at the girl or Hannah but studied me intently.
“Seeing you like that…” He shook his head, his gaze heating. “It’s sexy as hell. When we get to where we’re going, you and I need to play with some rope. Don’t worry. I don’t plan on tying you. You can tie me. It’s only fair, right?”
The only rope I wanted to tie on Van was one around his neck.
“Now, I have something to help take the edge off,” he said. “It’s some good stuff. If you take it, without any noise, I’ll leave the gag off. Deal?”
I nodded, desperate to get the rag out of my mouth.
Van helped me to sit and untied my gag, petting my hair repeatedly while doing so and telling me how good I was and how much he’d missed me. I endured it and cracked my jaw the moment I could close my mouth again. No matter how much I tried to swallow, I couldn’t seem to get any spit to come back into my mouth.
“Here,” he said, offering me three small pills. “I’ll give you water once you have these in your mouth.”
He watched me with growing satisfaction as I opened my mouth.
“Tied and mouth open,” he said quietly. “You’re a fucking wet dream.”
I wanted to bite the hand he was holding out to me so badly as he drew near. Common sense was my only restraint. If I bit him now, he’d gag me again. Good behavior would keep the gag off and, if I played my cards right, maybe even my feet freed.
Bitterly, I held still as he placed the pills in my mouth, one at a time, then helped me drink. The water was divine, and I didn’t regret swallowing down those pills to get some. Hopefully, whatever he’d given me wouldn’t act fast.
When I’d drained the glass, he took it away and watched me expectantly.
“Are you going to untie me?” I asked, my voice scratchy. Whatever they’d done to me, it felt like they’d bruised my damn throat. Assholes.
“Soon. You be good, and let me help the little one first.”
“Why did you take her?”
“Why do you think?”
My stomach twisted. They planned to have sex with her? Babies?
He reached out to pet my head again.
“Don’t worry. You’re mine.”
He turned his back on me and looked at the girl. She was huddled back in the corner where her bed was wedged against the outer and the side wall. Thankfully, it appeared that Van had been honest in his interest in me over her because he untied her gag without any petting.
Good.
When he finished with her, he tilted Hannah’s head back by her hair. She was out cold without a gag. I could smell the alcohol on her from where I lay. She’d been in Tenacity long enough to set up a table and had gone missing shortly before I’d arrived. How much had she consumed that she was passed out already?
I glanced at the window near where she lay. The shade was down and the curtains closed. I could still see some light, though, which meant I couldn’t have been gone long.
“This one did all the work for me,” Van said with a grin in my direction. He released her and returned to me. “Feeling any better?”
“Still thirsty.”
“I can fix that.”
He helped me drink more of the second glass of water and tried to pet my hair again. This time, I jerked away. He grinned.
“The pills will kick in soon. Your tune will change then.”
“What are you still doing in here?” Oscar demanded from the door.
“Just checking on our girls.”
“You drug ‘em?”
“Yep.”
“Then leave ‘em be.”
I looked up at Oscar and found him studying me.
“Don’t make any trouble, and you’ll be fine,” he said. “Make trouble, and your life will get a whole hell of a lot harder. Am I clear?”
I meekly nodded and remained quiet as the men left. They didn’t close the door or force me to lie back down. Propped against the wall, I looked at the girl and winked, trying to let her know it would be okay.
She nodded and closed her eyes. Oscar and Van’s conversation drifted into the room as I tried to figure a way out for the three of us. Hannah being passed out was a huge problem. I wasn’t strong enough to carry her, and I sure as hell didn’t want to leave her behind with them. But for the sake of the girl, I couldn’t risk waiting for Hannah to get her act together, either.
“We need to be careful,” Van said from the other room. “They found us once because of those grey bastards.”
“That’s on you,” Oscar said, angrily. “I told you not to put her in the closet.”
With growing horror, I glanced at the girl across from me. She didn’t make a sound as I realized this wasn’t her first kidnapping. In fact, she looked a lot calmer than she had a minute ago. Almost as soon as I thought it, I felt myself relax, too. It was like my emotions were a faucet, and someone had just turned the knobs until there was barely a trickle. My fear was still there—I knew we needed to run—but I felt disconnected from the moment.
“With the work on the gates, everyone will be on that side of town and not paying attention to this side,” Oscar continued.
“Chuck’s in place on the wall with the ropes. As long as we keep it quiet, we should be fine.” Van chuckled. “I can’t believe those grey bastards made our job even easier with these supplies.” There was a shuffle of noise from the other room, like boxes being moved.
“It’s only right after they took half of what we worked to gather. It’ll help hold us over until we get settled again. You’re sure the girls we took won’t be noticed this time?” Oscar asked.
“They thought Tasha was hiding last time, and she was too scared to say any different. I doubt they’ll search for her a second time, and she’s got no family to care.”
I glanced at the girl across from me. I knew I should pity her, but that feeling was just beyond my reach.
“And the drunk one was pissing off too many people for anyone to give a shit.”
“We should have left Brenna,” Oscar said. “Her ma came for her once.”
“No. We’re taking her. For all we know, she’s already pregnant.”
I snorted softly. That had
been my biggest fear until I’d gotten my period a week after leaving the bunker. Best period of my life.
“Fine,” Oscar said. “We need to move soon. The longer we wait, the bigger the risk. We’ll have to come back for one of the cows after we’re settled, and they have the doors finished. I’ll bring the next round of supplies to the wall. Leave them girls be until I get back.”
The door closed, and I waited. It didn’t take Van long to reappear.
“How you feeling?” he asked.
“Fine.” My answer was slow and breathy.
He grinned.
“Yes, you are. Want me to untie your feet for you?”
I nodded.
He removed my boots before untying my ankles. When he finished, he didn’t get up and move away; but then, I hadn’t thought he would. With slow touches, he peeled back my socks and ran his fingers over my skin.
“You have no idea how much I’ve thought about you since they took you. They robbed us of the future we could have had.” His fingers stroked the top of my bare feet then slid up my jeans to my knees, barely missing my stitches underneath. He gripped me firmly for a minute then glanced behind him at Tasha, who still had her eyes closed.
As soon as he faced me, I knew what he was thinking and felt no surprise when he tugged me down so my legs dangled off the bed. Even with the pills making everything swimmy, I felt the ache in my shoulders as I lay awkwardly on my bound arms.
“Do you know if it worked?” he asked softly, reaching for the button of my jeans.
“What?” I asked, feigning ignorance.
“Did my seed take? Are you pregnant?”
He unzipped my pants and started working them down my hips.
“My arms hurt. Can you tie them in front of me?” I asked.
He smiled, stopped what he was doing, and rolled me to my side.
“You’re so sweet,” he said. “Pretty. You talk nice. Not a mean bone in you.”
He obviously had no idea who I really was. I’d been too afraid for Zach and traumatized after seeing my dad die to behave normally while I’d been at the bunker. But thanks to the drugs, I couldn’t feel my fear now. I did, however, feel the rope loosen around my hands.