Emma followed Ben through the crowd. She had to pretty much stay right behind him, or she’d risk getting swallowed up by the swarm of people. This disappointed her as she couldn’t watch his fine arse as he walked. He turned his head back to her, as if reading her thoughts, and smiled at her. ‘All good?’
‘Yep.’ God, she hoped he wasn’t a mind reader because right now she’d like nothing more than for him to be taking her behind the horse stables and kissing her senseless. Which, of course, would be regrettable but wonderful at the same time.
They reached the grandstand, and Emma was introduced to Ben’s brother, Will, his wife, Lottie, and Niko, Lilly’s husband. Everyone was friendly and made Emma feel comfortable. She realised she had vaulted over her first hurdle in moving to Holbrook. She’d made friends, which meant she had a support network. Always being a people person, she’d surrounded herself with family and friends and hated being alone. It felt like she was getting a bit of normalcy back into her life, making friends.
Emma sat on the wooden bench seat and placed Zoe on her lap. Zoe immediately got stuck into eating the cob of corn. Butter and juice dripped everywhere, and Zoe’s face was smeared with grease as she took pleasure in every bite. Ben sat down next to them, and Emma felt the warmth of his thigh pressed up against hers. She liked it more than she cared to admit. She was meant to be thinking of Ben strictly as a friend. He still had hold of her Dagwood dog, and as she glanced sideways, she saw him take a cheeky bite of her dinner. ‘Hey! That’s mine. Get your own.’
He brought the Dagwood dog to her lip. ‘Here, take a bite. You look like you’ve got your hands tied up there holding Zoe.’
‘You’re not feeding me.’
‘Why not?’ Ben asked, eyebrows raised.
‘Because I’m not a baby.’
‘No, you’re not a baby. You’re all woman.’ Lowering his voice, he declared, ‘Would it be against the rules of friendship to say you look absolutely gorgeous tonight?’
Her cheeks burned. ‘Probably, but I think it’s important to give your friends compliments.’
‘How about a walk over to see the horses and bulls? Zoe will love it.’
‘Sure. She loves animals.’ Emma wiped Zoe’s face clean with a baby wipe before standing and lifting Zoe onto her hip. She walked carefully down the grandstand steps and threw the finished corn cob in the bin. Ben stretched his arms out. ‘Do you think she’d come to me while you eat your dinner?’
As an answer, Zoe reached her arms out to Ben. ‘Looks to me like she wouldn’t mind.’ Ben gently placed Zoe on his shoulders. A smile larger than life spread across her tiny face creating two perfect dimples on her cheeks. Emma’s heart melted. She could see Zoe’s eyes darting around at the wonder everywhere. For once, she was above the crowd of people, and her eyes were opened to a different view of the world. It hit Emma straight in her heart—she was giving her daughter the best possible life. Zoe was happy. She was bringing her excitement, amazement, love, and happiness. She was responsible for this transformation. A life she’d never have had with her real parents. The realisation brought tears of joy to her eyes.
The trio walked in companionable silence. Ben tried to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other and not tripping over with the precious cargo on his shoulders. Her chubby little fingers wrapped around his neck and threatened to choke him, but it felt wonderful. The fact this little person trusted him, warmed his soul. He tried to keep his mind and eyes on walking through the crowd and did his best not to look over at the woman walking by his side. When she had walked toward him, juggling all the food in her arms, he was gobsmacked. She looked stunning. She was dressed in dark, skinny denim jeans flaunting her long, slender legs, which were accentuated by the knee-high boots she wore. On top, the soft grey knitted jumper exposed creamy white cleavage, and her hair fell in a tumble of autumn colour, resting on her shoulders. Ben longed to reach out and touch those waves. He’d bet on his last dollar they would feel as soft as velvet against the roughness of his own hands.
He chanced a look across at her now and saw her wipe tears off her face with her palm. The sight tore at his heartstrings. What had made her so sad? He took Zoe from his shoulders and shifted her to his hip. Placing a comforting hand on Emma’s back, he guided her out of the crowd and towards the stable area. They rounded the corner at the end of a row of stables. The noise of the rodeo eased off in the distance as they found some relative privacy amongst the horses. The smell of horses and hay made him instinctively bring his hand up to touch the scar underneath his nose.
With one hand, he took Emma’s hand in his. ‘Em, What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing.’ Not being able to meet his eyes, she looked away. ‘Everything.’
‘I‘m not following.’ He squeezed her hand.
‘I realised just now how lucky Zoe is to be living the life she is now. It could’ve been very different for her.’
Ben’s interest was piqued. ‘Different how?’
‘Let’s say moving here was the best thing I could’ve ever done.’
Ben sensed there was a hell of a lot more to the story. He didn’t want to push her, though. Hopefully, as she gained his trust and their friendship strengthened, she’d tell him. ‘I think you’re a great mum.’
‘Thanks. That’s nice to hear.’ She still wouldn’t meet his eyes, though.
‘So what’s the problem? It sounds like everything is falling into place for you and Zoe.’
‘It is, those tears you saw were happy tears. But then I started to think about you.’
Ben dropped her hand like a hot potato. Had he done something wrong? Emma reached out to his hand and squeezed it. ‘I’m so attracted to you, but the timing sucks, and to be completely honest, everything about you seems right except for the fact you’re not ready to settle down.’
He nodded. Warmth spread through him at the realisation that she was attracted to him. It was tinged with fear, though, because what happened if they did succumb to this attraction. He couldn’t have a relationship with her no matter how much he wanted to. ‘I honestly don’t think you’re ready for a relationship, and you already know I’m not interested in being in one either.’ His voice was tinged with regret, and he didn’t want to make her sad, so he put his own cheeky spin on it. ‘So why don’t we just have a bit of fun? I can be your rebound if you want?’ It was worth consideration. He’d happily oblige. They both could benefit from a no-strings-attached fling. There was definite chemistry between them worth exploring.
She smiled whimsically across at him. ‘I don’t want a rebound. I want a partner. Maybe not right now. I’m still trying to work out exactly who Emma McIntosh is, but when I do work that out, I want to settle down with someone. Turn my family of two into three or more.’ She waved a hand at him casually. ‘I’m probably not making any sense. Hell, I really don’t know what I want at the moment. I miss being with someone, but you’re right, I’m not ready to jump into a relationship with someone yet either. I’m so torn. I don’t want to be with anyone, but I miss sharing my day and sharing these special moments like tonight with someone. As angry as I am with Ryan at the moment, I’m missing him like crazy.’ Ben had to look away at the mention of her ex’s name. He didn’t know the bloke, but he knew he didn’t like him. If he had hurt her so badly, why was she missing him so much? She was right, she wasn’t making any sense to him right now.
Emma reached out and guided his head back towards her with a gentle touch. He looked back into her sad eyes as she continued, and it broke his heart in two. ‘I still love Ryan, but I know we’re over, and we weren’t meant to be together. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I want to share moments like Zoe’s first rodeo with someone special who’ll look at her and be utterly in love with the wonder in her eyes. Who’ll see her break out in a smile, and it will make their heart skip a beat. I want that for Zoe, and I want that for me. That’s what’s missing in my life right now, but I don’t want that in the form of a relationsh
ip either. Does that make sense?’
Ben nodded. He understood her perfectly. She wanted the comfort of sharing her life with someone special without the commitment of a relationship. She wanted a best friend.
She continued when Ben didn’t speak, ‘I tell my mum, dad, and Jess about her, but it isn’t the same as someone being here and sharing those moments together with us. I miss sitting on the lounge after a long day and talking about work over a glass of wine. I miss rolling over and snuggling into Ryan every morning. Even though I have Zoe, sometimes it’s awfully lonely. I know I don’t want a rebound, and I know I don’t want to have meaningless sex with someone… with you, but I miss the cuddles and sitting watching TV with someone.’ She ran a hand through her hair. ‘Do you think that means I’m ready to be in a relationship again?’
‘Oh, Em. This is tough, and I’ll probably kick myself later for telling you this, but I don’t think you need rebound sex, and I definitely don’t think you’re ready for a relationship yet either, but I do think you need a really good friend. For that, you can count on me. You can lean on me whenever you need. Share those special moments of Zoe’s with me. She’s a top kid, and I love spending time with both of you. I’m a great listener, and I’d love to come by and sit on the lounge with you and watch a movie and catch up on what we’ve been doing throughout the day. I can be your best friend if that’s all you want? I’ll be here. I promise.’
‘Thanks. I think you’re right, and it means a lot for you to say that. I know. There’s definitely an intense attraction between us, but I don’t think it’s the right time to explore it.’ She drew him in for a hug, squashing Zoe in between them. She giggled and squirmed, but Ben didn’t let go. He rubbed his hand up and down the curve of Emma’s spine and relished in the feel of her arms squeezing around his waist. She smelled of flowers, and he drank her in. Damn, he wanted to get closer to her, wanted to kiss her tears away. He hoped he could be the friend she needed right now without overstepping any boundaries. She needed his friendship more than anything, and he realised his flirting with her was going to have to stop. It would make it too difficult for both himself and Emma to keep to the rules of friendship. He had been breaking all the rules, and if they continued on this path, he’d end up hurting her, or God forbid, she’d hurt him.
Emma pulled away, running a hand through her hair. ‘I guess we should show Zoe the horses, then.’
Ben smiled. ‘See we’re sharing moments already.’
Emma smiled, and it made his heart wrench. He watched her walk over to a chestnut-coloured mare with a strip of white running down from its forehead to its muzzle. The horse moved over to the gate and snorted as Emma approached. Emma stopped dead in her tracks, but Ben placed an encouraging hand on her shoulder. ‘It’s okay, Billy won’t hurt you. She’s just excited to see us.’
Emma looked into Ben’s eyes and raised a quizzical eyebrow.
He grabbed her hand and half dragged her over to the stall where the horse was viewing Zoe with curiosity. ‘Look. I promise. She wants you to say hello.’
Zoe placed her hand out immediately to grab hold of the mare’s mane, and Ben swiftly pulled her back. ‘Whoa there, Zo. You have to be gentle.’ He took her chubby little hand in his and drew it over to the mare where he gently supported her to pet the horse down its neck. ‘That’s it. Nice and gentle.’ The horse nickered, and Zoe beamed. ‘I think she likes you. What about your mum? Do you think she’d like to pet Billy?’
Emma took a step backward. ‘Oh, no. I’m good watching Zoe enjoy herself.’
‘Come on. Billy doesn’t bite.’ He gestured for her to move towards the horse with a nod of his head.
Emma took a small step forward and reached out a tentative hand towards the horse. She stroked the horse down its neck and turned her head to Ben and giggled, the sound making his stomach do a tiny backflip. She had the sweetest laugh. He watched as she turned and continued to stroke Billy’s neck up and down. ‘Have you never patted a horse before?’
Emma shook her head. ‘This is the closest I’ve ever been to a real live horse.’
‘Wow. I guess I take it for granted since I grew up riding horses.’ An idea of brilliance struck him as those words escaped his lips. ‘Hey, how about you come out to the farm, and you can ride my mare?’
Emma screwed up her nose. ‘Uh… I don’t know. I’d probably freak out, and the horse would bolt with me on it.’
‘Tilly won’t be bolting anywhere. She’s too old. Come on. It’ll be fun. I promise. Plus, Zoe will love the farm. We have chickens, dogs, a cat, cows, calves, even a fussy pig.’
‘A fussy pig? Don’t pigs eat everything?’
‘Not Bacon. She’s a finicky thing. Hates carrots, won’t touch them. Even picks them out from a bucket full of scraps and tosses them to the side.’
Emma spluttered. ‘No, you can’t be serious. You called your pig, Bacon?
Ben shrugged. ‘Yeah, why not? There’s nothing wrong with Bacon for a name.’
‘It’s wrong on so many levels,’ Emma said.
‘I think it’s a great name.’
‘Well, I hope Bacon never actually turns into bacon.’
‘Nah, she’s my pet. Although I’m partial to a good pork roast with crackling,’ Ben said with a twinkle in his eye.
Emma shoved him gently on his shoulder. ‘Now I know you’re messing with me. Have you told Bacon carrots are very good for her eyesight?’
‘Well, you could tell her yourself if you come out and take a ride on Tilly.’
Emma chewed her bottom lip. ‘Oh, alright. You twisted my arm.’
‘It didn’t take much twisting.’ He smiled across at her. ‘How about Monday? The shops closed Monday, isn’t it?’
‘Yeah, but Zoe and I are heading into Newcastle Monday. Tuesday works, though.’
Ben pumped Zoe’s fist in the air. ‘Yeah! Mum’s going to ride a horse.’
Emma didn’t look as thrilled as Ben was feeling. He was stoked, he’d be spending more time with Emma, and he couldn’t have been happier. Every moment he spent with her and Zoe made him feel giddy with happiness. Totally unlike anything he’d ever felt before. She gave him a buzz, making him feel like he was high on drugs, but he wasn’t, he was high on Emma and Zoe.
He put his hand out to her. ‘Here, give me your phone, and I’ll put my number and address into your contacts.’
She handed him her phone and watched him type in his details. He returned the phone to her. ‘Text me your number if you like, when you get a chance. I have to get going, it’ll be time for me to ride soon.’ He reluctantly handed Zoe back to Emma and placed his hands in the front pockets of his jeans to stop himself from reaching out and running a hand through her beautiful hair. He wanted more than anything to feel the soft waves through his fingers.
‘Thanks for listening to me earlier and being so good with Zoe.’ She stepped in towards him, their eyes locking. She was the same height as him, and he could feel her breath on his cheek before she softly landed a peck there. The kiss barely brushed against his skin, but the tingling sensation it left afterwards was a reminder that yes, her lips had touched his skin—a friendly kiss on the cheek which left his heart hammering. He watched her turn on her heel and walk out of the stables with Zoe on her hip.
He made sure they were out of sight and earshot before he turned around and swore, grabbing hold of the rails on Billy’s stall. His head lifted to the wooden beams on the ceiling as he leaned back. The skin on his cheek still tingled. Did her lips feel the same? He wanted so much more from her. If this was how a peck on the cheek made him feel, how the hell was a passionate kiss going to affect him? He guessed he might never find out.
Emma settled herself back on the hard, wooden seats of the grandstand. She could hear the excitement bubbling through the crowd. The atmosphere was electric as the bull riding competition was announced. The announcer’s voice hurt Emma’s ears as it carried across the grandstand from speakers positioned from the r
oof. ‘Welcome, everyone, to tonight’s main event. The Holbrook Bull Riding Competition.’ A cheer erupted throughout the crowd. ‘These men we have here tonight are either brave or stupid.’ Laughter echoed around the grandstand. ‘They’re about to sit on a furiously mad beast, by holding onto it with nothing but one strap around their hand and their legs and feet. These cowboys are going to have to use brute strength and instinct to keep their balance. That bull is going to be bucking, twisting, and spinning to get the rider off his back. Let me tell you, folks, eight seconds may not sound very long to you, but when you’re sitting on a tonne of unpredictable and fired-up bull, eight seconds can feel like a lifetime.’
Emma’s stomach twisted in a knot of fear for Ben. She’d hate to see him get hurt. As she looked around at her new friends, none of them seemed worried. How they weren’t concerned was beyond her. It sounded like a dangerously ridiculous sport.
The first competitor lunged out from the chute holding onto the bucking bull with a gloved hand. He wore a helmet, which would be little protection against the hoof of a bull. The rider managed to hold onto the bull for the entire eight seconds, bringing about a raucous cheer from the crowd. Emma expelled a breath, not realising she had been holding it for the entire eight seconds.
She could see Ben in chute number two bracing himself over the top of the bull. He wore chaps, spurs, a protective vest over his chest, and a helmet, but she could still tell it was him. His physique was so toned and masculine. There was no mistaking him or the tingles of awareness which sparked through her body at the sight of him. The song ‘We Will Rock You’ played through the speakers as Ben adjusted his position. Emma’s leg started to jig up and down, and Zoe jolted along with each nervous jerk. The chute opened, and Emma again held her breath as Ben jostled on top of the bull named Devil to the Bone. The bull’s head shook back and forth as it bucked, drool whipped through the air from the beast’s mouth, and Emma screwed her nose up at the sight. Dust kicked up by the hooves swirled around Ben. It felt like the longest eight seconds of her life as she watched Ben grip the leather strap with one hand, his other high in the air. With two seconds before the buzzer would sound signalling the end of the eight seconds, Ben was hurled off the bull. He landed on two feet and not without difficulty exited the main arena and out of harm’s way. Relief swept through Emma, and Zoe clapped her hands with excitement. This sport was intense, not to mention dangerous. She didn’t know how she was going to sit through the remainder of the event.
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