by L. M. Reid
With her hand in mine I lead her to the bed. “Bend over.”
Her mouth falls open; surprise written all over her gorgeous face. The demand in my instruction – the force I say it with has her stunned silent. She takes her bottom lip between her teeth and studies me for a moment. “Excuse me?”
I don’t have the power to wait any longer. My hands grab her and spin her around. With one hand gripping her hip and the palm of the other pressing against her back I repeat, “I said, bend over.”
I guide her down until she’s bent at the waist, her palms pressing into the mattress. I grab the condoms that I brought for no other reason than my need to always be prepared.
“You really are a boy scout, aren’t you,” she says with a laugh.
The urge to prove her wrong, show her just how bad this good boy can be increases by the second. With my cock wrapped and her pussy wet, I waste no time. My hands are on her hips, my fingers digging into her flesh. “Last chance to back out.”
“Fuck me, Hunter.”
I spread her legs a little further with my thigh, one hand releasing her hip and taking ahold of my dick to glide it over her entrance before I thrust fully into her in one motion.
Quinn Ford. Trouble with a capital T. Her sinner to my saint. My heaven to her hell. We crash together in a storm of fury. Endless pleasure surges through me. Her skin soft, her hair bouncing with each thrust into her, the way she rocks back against me, meeting me thrust for thrust. Perfection. Unison. Goddamn heaven sent.
No one has ever felt as amazing as Quinn does in this moment. No one has ever made me feel like Quinn does in this moment. I wrap my arm around her, my hand reaching for the swollen crux of her pleasure. Her head flies back, her hair flying as she cries out.
My free hand snakes up her body, wrapping around her throat. I give her a moment to decide if this is what she wants or not before applying enough pressure to make her gasp.
Every motion in sync as if we’ve worked tirelessly to master this. We barely know each other. Our needs, our wants, our likes and dislikes all foreign. Yet, in this moment somehow, I know how she needs it and which way she wants it. It feels so damn good to give it to her, to bring her pleasure, to see the look on her face when she turns to me. It’s her eyes that do me in, the emotion I see in them.
I bury myself in her, grinding against her ass. Our connection deep, our bodies on edge, and all it takes to send me over is the soft mewl of my name falling from her lips. I come so damn hard that my body shakes, my head collapsing onto her back.
Neither of us move. Our bodies still joined, our breathing finally beginning to slow. Pants turning back into breaths, her voice still letting out these soft little sighs signifying she’s coming down from her high.
I step back, sliding out of her and instantly missing the connection. When she faces me, her emotions are written all over her face. She stares at me, clearly unprepared for what just happened. Not the physical. We’ve done that before.
It’s the emotions. The feelings I know she is having but doesn’t understand. The vulnerability in her eyes intensifying with each moment that passes. She bolts to the bathroom and I don’t stop her. I don’t even try. I give her the space that she needs, while I clean up the wet mess we made and slide into a pair of shorts.
I’m kicked back on the bed, my back resting against the headboard. The last thing in the world that I want to do is scare her or make her feel cornered into sharing the bed with me. This is new to her, I get it. When she reemerges, stunned confusion written all over her face, I just smile at her.
She takes a seat next to me on the bed, her legs crossed at the ankles, just like mine.
“I’m sorry.” The apology is unwarranted. In fact, I can’t think of a single thing that she could even want to apologize for.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” I tell her. Hell, more than anything I should be thanking her because what just happened between us…wow. That was the shit dirty dreams are made of and everything I ever wanted.
“For running off. I just got overwhelmed.”
“That makes two of us then,” I say as I lean back, my hands behind my head.
She looks surprised. Like I couldn’t possibly be taken aback by the intensity of everything that transpired.
“It’s okay to be scared. Or nervous. Or whatever it is that you’re feeling. And you don’t have to explain anything to me. I hope you do, one day, but not now. Not until you’re ready.”
“Thank you.”
I let out a yawn.
“We should get some sleep,” she tells me.
“I can move back to the couch,” I offer even though it’s the last thing that I want to do.
“What? No. I don’t want that.” She turns in the bed to face me. “I’m sorry, I never meant for you to think that I didn’t want this. Or us. I’m just scared.”
“I was just trying to be a gentleman.”
Her eyebrows raise. “You were far from a gentleman a few minutes ago.”
“Would you have preferred if I were?” My eyebrows raise as well, challenging her to argue with me but also trying to gauge exactly what it is she likes.
“Not a chance,” she smiles before pressing a kiss to my lips. She snuggles down into the covers then glances back at me.
“What?” I ask.
“Do you prefer to be the big spoon or the little spoon?”
I think of my dick pressed against her ass all night while we sleep. If we sleep. Because the thought of being pressed against her already has me ready to go again.
I slide under the covers, snuggle up against her.
“Really?” she says with a laugh.
“What can I say? When I find something that I like – I go with it.”
My hand runs over her hip, down to her thigh moving it forward.
“Is this okay?” I ask.
Her head falls back against my shoulder as she sighs into the pillow. “It’s more than okay.”
***
I smile as I roll over, ready to pull Quinn into my arms and feel her body against mine again.
The woman I reach for is not there though.
In fact, she’s nowhere to be found.
Chapter 23
Quinn
When I woke up in Hunter’s arms two hours ago, my heart was racing and my mind spinning.
So many things were running through my head that I couldn’t focus.
I needed air.
I needed space.
All because I realized that I need him.
I headed to the beach to enjoy the silence of the early morning. The only sound – the waves crashing against the sand. It’s soft and serene and exactly what I need to help me deal with the shit storm in my head.
Last night was amazing. Everything about the entire day was. Sure, it was unexpected. Who would have ever thought that Hunter and I could be real? I barely had faith that we could pull off a fake relationship. How in the hell can I expect us to pull off a real one?
If my track record with men is any indication, we’re going to crash and burn. And quick.
Especially if I tell him the truth. Or, rather, when. Even if it ends us, Hunter deserves to know what he’s getting into. Who it is that he’s getting involved with.
“Is this seat taken?” a deep voice asks from above me. The mere sound of it soothing my soul. Regardless of all the trepidation I have at the moment, my smile is automatic.
“I didn’t run if that’s what you’re thinking,” I say.
Hunter chuckles as he sits next to me. “Of course, you didn’t. I’m sure you walked… right out the door.” He throws my words regarding our first night together back in my face. It’s not done with malicious intent, but rather with humor based on the smirk on his face.
“Aren’t you going to ask why I’m out here?”
He shrugs. “Nope.”
“Why not?”
“I told you last night, Quinn, I’ll give you you’re space, no questions a
sked.”
“I owe you an explanation.”
“You don’t owe me anything,” he says as he rests his hand over mine on the blanket.
Maybe I don’t. I’m not entirely sure that’s true. If I’m going to actually give this a go, try to be with him, I feel like he deserves to know. He should know who I really am. He should be able to see what he’s getting into. To know not only if it’s what he wants, but if it’s worth it. If I’m worth it.
For so long I never thought I was. Never felt worthy of love or affection. Why would someone care about me when even my own parents didn’t? Then I met Shane and he told me he loved me. And for the first time I felt the possibility. Until I found it was all a lie.
I think that was the hardest part to swallow. The fact that he lied because that lie is what had given me hope. It made me feel worthy of love for the first time of my life. And when it was ripped away by the truth…
“I left because I was scared. Terrified actually.”
“Of what?” he asks. “If I…”
“No. No. Not you. You are perfect. It’s me that isn’t and I’m afraid that once you know me – you won’t like what you see.”
“I don’t think that’s possible, Quinn.”
“How much has Mason told you about our childhood?”
He shrugs. “It’s hard to say. I would say most of it, but… I always felt like there was something he wasn’t telling me. I never wanted to push though. Everyone deserves to deal with their demons in their own way.”
“Did you know that you were just supposed to be a means to an end? A plan we conjured up to befriend the rich kid at school, the one with the nicest clothes, getting dropped off in the fanciest cars? Mason was supposed to become your friend so he could steal food from you. It’s wrong, I know, but…”
“You had to in order to survive,” he replies. His voice is so filled with understanding that I’m the one who feels like they’re on the outside looking in now.
“How can you not be angry about that?”
He has a soft smile then glances down at his hand. “Because I knew what was going on. Did you know he also stole money from my sock drawer?” He shakes his head and laughs. “Though I’m not sure if it’s considered stealing if I kept putting it there for him. Same with the food.”
“You knew?”
He shook his head. “I didn’t know it was a plan, not for a long time. But I knew you guys were struggling. I knew he needed me. You both did. The truth is, I needed him too. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for him pushing me. We may have both thought we were using each other but through that we became friends.”
“I hated you for that, you know?” I make the admission, not something I had planned on telling him at this moment, but it feels right for him to know. “When you and Mason became friends, real friends, I resented you for taking away the only person that I had.”
“I know you don’t believe me, but I wanted to be your friend too, Quinn.”
“I realize that now,” I admit. My eyes have been unable to meet his throughout our entire conversation thus far. “I just always felt like you were looking down at me. That I wasn’t good enough.”
He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “I was looking, Quinn, that part is true. I was trying to figure you out. Trying to find a way to get you to trust me, to let me be there for you.”
“There’s something that I need to tell you, something you should know before we go any further. Things that I’ve done that could completely change the way you feel about me.”
“I don’t know what it is that you think would make me think less of you, but I assure you – nothing could be further from the truth. There is nothing that you could tell me would change what I feel for you.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” I say, laughing through the tears that stream down my face.
“Try me.”
The challenge in his words, my need to prove him wrong, all of it fuels the anger I speak with. “So, it doesn’t bother you to know that I was more than willing to have sex with a man for money? Does that make you want me more? Is it a turn on?”
I shove off the blanket and walk closer toward the ocean. I need space from him, from my words, from everything.
“No, it’s not a turn on, Quinn. It doesn’t make me want to be with you more, but it sure as hell doesn’t make me want to be with you any less. You did what you had to do to survive.”
“That’s just it. I didn’t. I didn’t go through with it,” I tell him. “I couldn’t just suck it up and do what needed to be done. Not how Mason always did. I backed out, I ran, I…”
Tears stream down my face. I turn away from Hunter, unable to face him as I give him the details. I can’t bear to see the disappointment in his eyes when I tell him.
“The night I almost went through with it, I was home alone and one of my dad’s friends, if you can call them that, stopped by. He made me an offer. Told me that for a night with me, he would make sure Mason and I were taken care of. Then he kissed me, and I remember thinking that it wasn’t terrible… that I could do this. I could be the one to take care of us for a change.” Hunter just stands there, not to close but not very far either, allowing me to ramble and get what I need to off my chest. He gives me the opportunity to show him the real me. The good, the bad, and everything in between. “I stood there, completely naked, the guy staring at me. He started… he started touching himself and…it made me sick. So sick and I couldn’t. I couldn’t go through with it.”
His fingers caress the skin on my arms, an offer of comfort that I don’t feel worthy of.
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that – all of it. No one should have to endure the things you two did.”
When I turn to look at Hunter, I don’t see judgment, or concern. Instead, there’s emotion and kindness and for the life of me I can’t figure out why it’s there or why he would want to direct it at me.
“I don’t want your pity.”
“Good, because I don’t pity you. Look at you, Quinn, look at the life you’ve made despite what you had to grow up with.”
“The life I made?” She laughs. “Are you referring to the endless string of losers that I date? Or the fact that I got kicked out of college? Which of those points to this wonderful life you think I’ve made for myself?”
“How about the part where you have a roof over your head, always have, through nothing more than making it happen on your own because unlike me, you didn’t always have someone to provide that for you? How about the fact that you got accepted into one of the best art schools in the country in the first place regardless of why you’re not there anymore? Because one thing I am certain of, it’s not for lack of talent. You showed me your work. You’re amazing, Quinn. Everything about you amazes me.”
I turn away from him, my arms hugging my body needing the comfort. “How is that possible?”
His arms wrap around me, comforting me when I had feared they would reject me. “Because it’s you, Quinn. There has always been something about you. You’re an amazing person and I hate that you don’t see that.” He pauses for a moment. “We all have pasts, our own struggles that we’ve had to endure. Nothing you’ve gone through or had to do makes me look at you any differently. All it does is make me want to be there for you to help you move past it. All I care about is us. Right here, right now.”
“But…”
“But nothing, Quinn. Me knowing this, changes nothing.”
“What if there’s more? What if I’ve done things you can’t forgive?” I ask thinking about Shane and how my actions weren’t a far cry from what Layla did to him.
“There is nothing that you’ve done that I couldn’t forgive.”
“You say that…”
“I’m saying it because it’s true. We all have pasts, Quinn. Despite what you think, I’m no saint. I’ve made my fair share of mistakes. All I care about is the here and now.”
“You deserve better than
me. Someone who can give you everything you want.”
“All I want is you.”
Every word he speaks, I want to believe it. I want to revel in it. “I’m afraid I’ll disappoint you somehow. That you’ll finally see the real me, the broken me, and you won’t want me anymore.”
“I see every broken piece, Quinn. And all it does is make want be there to help you put them back together. Because you can, Quinn. You can put those pieces back together.”
“What about your family? Your career? The endorsements and charities? What if all of my dirty little secrets come out and somehow affect you?”
“It won’t. But, if it does, then I’ll deal with it.”
“I can’t risk doing anything to hurt you.”
“Why don’t you let me make that choice for myself, hmm? You told me your secret and I’m still standing here. I don’t plan on, nor do I want to, go anywhere. Say you’ll give us a chance. Make a real go of this fake relationship with me.”
“A chance for what exactly, Hunter? We barely get along. We have nothing in common.”
“And yet, here we are. Getting along. Enjoying each other. And I’m not just referring to the sex. All I want is a chance to show you… to prove to you that we can be good together.”
“You do realize how absurd that sounds, right? Me and you together?”
“What can I say… you were right. You can be very convincing,” he says with a wink.
I move toward him, and for the first time since we started talking, I look him in the eyes. “Are you sure about this Hunter? Like really sure?”
His hands cup my face. There’s a twinkle in his eyes and a smile on his lips. “I have never been more sure of anything in my life.”
Chapter 24
Quinn
“I told you so,” Claire squeals into the phone. “How was it?”
After our chat on the beach, Hunter went in search of breakfast and I went in search of my phone so I could call Claire to get all of this excitement off my chest.
“I’m not answering that,” I tell her.
No sooner do the words fall out of my mouth is she squealing again. She thinks she knows something. She thinks she’s right. And she is.