by Ann Denton
Abbas tucked my hand over his arm and began to walk to the gravel path. But the distance spell tugged at me and I planted my feet.
“We need to wait for my knight.”
Declan hurriedly gathered his supplies in a bag and slung it over his shoulder.
“You’re perfectly safe with me, Your Highness,” Abbas joked lightly, but his eyes sparked with anger.
I grinned. “I might be. But you are a young, attractive, highly-eligible prince. Did you ever consider you might not be safe with me?”
Abbas’ studied my face as his grin grew. “You’re not the shy flower you were growing up.”
“We’ve met?”
He laughed. “I’m heartbroken you don’t remember. It was before the last Fire War. So you might have been six.”
“If I was, then you would have been utterly disgusting, sorry. Boy germs and all that.”
“All that indeed.”
I gestured right and we went down a path lined with evergreens that smelled of juniper and pine.
We walked in silence a moment, appreciating the peaceful crunch of gravel underfoot. The chatter from the rest of the nobles faded to bird-like twitters.
A bluebird alighted on a nearby branch, quite close to Abbas. He stopped, stared at it, then waved his hand to shoo it away.
“Don’t like birds, Prince Abbas?” I laughed as the bird flew skyward but then dived back down toward Abbas’ face, clearly dive-bombing him in retribution. Abbas’ long hair was nearly his downfall as the bird got a piece and yanked. “Ah! They don’t like you. I’ll have to tell Quinn. My knight’s under the impression that woodland creatures and nobility are fond of each other.”
“Little asswipe,” Abbas muttered under his breath.
“Oh, don’t let a silly bird ruin our enchanted outing.”
“Enchanted?” he grinned. “I knew you were taken with me, but enchanted is a strong word.”
“Particularly for you,” I winked.
His smile dropped a little. “May I ask where you heard such awful rumors about me?”
I almost felt bad. But the persona I adopted was intended to push him. To find that secret moment when I pushed too far and the courtier faded and truth remained. Nice wasn’t an option. Not when I was hunting those who might hurt Avia. Or Evaness.
I waved my hand back and forth casually in response to Abbas’ question. “Oh, you know how servants talk. Your youngest brother is supposedly the most impressive. But sadly, he couldn’t come to visit.”
“You certainly know how to cut a man’s ego.”
“Is yours large enough to cut?” I pushed harder.
Behind us, Declan’s blush was hilarious. The innuendo was too much for my sweet knight.
Abbas grabbed my hand and tucked it gently back into his. He clearly had no issues with innuendo. “I’ll let you stroke my ego anytime you want, Princess.”
“I’d have to use my pinkie then.”
His dark eyes glittered as he leaned down toward my ear and whispered, “I love it when you take out your little claws. One day, I’m going jam you so hard that I wipe that smug look right off your face. You’ll be screaming my name.”
“What a lovely double entendre,” I pulled away and turned to Declan. “Can I take that as a direct threat against my person and have him locked up?”
Abbas didn’t look worried in the least. He still held my hand, still had that smug grin slicing across his chiseled jaw. Perhaps he was only playing. Perhaps he wasn’t truly a threat. But those who didn’t have magic had to find their strength in other arenas. Was Abbas a good liar? A skilled manipulator? I didn’t know.
I looked back at Declan, since he didn’t answer right away. “Should we detour to the dungeon? Or not?”
Declan glared at me for making him this uncomfortable in front of a stranger. “Most people would only hear the sexual implications, wife. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s quite enough,” Declan said.
“Damn. I’ll have to goad you into real threats.”
Abbas grinned. “I look forward to it. I thought you were giving me a tour of the grounds.”
“I am.”
“You haven’t pointed out a single plant.”
I put my hand to my mouth in mock horror. “Oh dear. I’m sorry. To your left are trees. And some bushes. And beneath all of those is a marvelous little plant called grass.”
“You’re an illuminating tour guide.”
I decided to push again. Without sugar-coating. “Why did you come without your brothers? If you all seek Avia’s hand, why not all come at once?”
Abbas looked down at me. With the afternoon sun behind him, I couldn’t read his expression. “The country of Evaness is well connected. You have access to trade with Lored. You have a working treaty with Sedara that gives you access to the elven weapons created on the Isles of Peth. You even get along with your neighbor, Rasle, to the west. How is that?”
He hadn’t answered my question. I noted that fact but didn’t press. I had a feeling that the answer was not a happy one.
“My father, Knight Lewart, embraced negotiation. Lots of it. Eventually, Queen Gela agreed.”
“Negotiation. I’ve heard of this concept. I believe my father calls it losing.”
His sarcasm wrung an unwilling laugh out of me.
He looked pleased with himself, allowing his free hand to come and stroke my hand, where it was tucked into the crook of his arm.
Declan cleared his throat behind us, but Abbas didn’t seem to notice. Or else, didn’t seem to care. I was too interested in what Abbas might say to yank my hand away. A tiny concession to this prince, a tiny hand stroke to let him think he had me enthralled, was worth it to get him to open up regarding his intentions.
“What do you see as valuable enough to consider an alliance with me, Bloss?”
I noted Abbas’ informal use of my given name and it took everything within me not to stiffen. “Your brother’s magic. Your wishes. Your people have a wide range of gifts. The djinn are quite lucky.”
“Ah, yes. But, with magic comes arrogance. What happens to those who are not as gifted? Or not gifted at all?”
“We all do the best we can with what we are given.” I patted his hand and gave him a pitying look.
“I don’t speak of myself.”
“Don’t you?”
“Imagine being born with a certain gift and then one day you found, it was gone? What if gifts could be wished away?” Abbas’ tone was smooth, smiling, rich as chocolate. But his words were sharp enough to cut me to the bone.
I stopped and turned to face him. I studied his eyes, his perfectly pleasant expression. He gave me nothing, no clue as to his true intentions.
Shite. I wish Connor was here. Or Quinn had put a bead in Abbas’ hair, I thought.
Did the Prince of Cheryn just threaten me? Or offer to solve the problem of my power?
Chapter Twenty-Four
Once I escaped the uncomfortable tension of Abbas’ company, I went to check on Avia. I made Declan call Quinn and pull the next room over trick for the distance spell. I wanted to tend to my sister.
Avia turned toward me from where she lay nestled under the covers. She looked rather green. And her hair clung to her face.
“Oh no,” I shooed away her handmaid and grabbed the wet rag the woman had been using. I placed it on Avia’s forehead, dragging my fingers along her warm cheek.
“Squawk, what happened?”
“Something I ate, I think.”
“Think you’ll be better for the ball tomorrow night?”
“I’d better be,” her lips drew into a thin, determined line. “It’s nearly my seventeenth birthday and I was going to pretend it was my celebration.”
I chuckled. “Goose, it is your celebration.”
She shook her head. “No. It’s for Abbas. All this fanfare is because he’s part djinn.”
“Or because he’s seeking to marry you?”
Avia rolled her eyes. “If on
e of the non-magical princes of Rasle came here, would we show them this much care?”
I shrugged. “I’ve never lived through a true foreign suitor visit. Mother just chose for me.”
“Bullshite!” Avia said, then clutched her stomach. “Ugh. Don’t get me upset.”
“I’m not trying to get you upset,” I leaned my elbows on the bed and propped up my head. “It’s true.”
“You didn’t need a ball. And mother didn’t choose for you. Not really. You had a crush on Ryan the moment you saw him,” Avia countered. “You loved Connor your entire life.”
“But Declan and I used to get into debates during our classes. We were always arguing. We never got along.”
“First of all, that’s because you’re both always so arrogantly certain you’re right. You through instinct, he through endless research. He’s a perfect match for you. Besides, don’t you remember the cakes incident?”
“You mean fiasco?”
“He multiplied chocolate cakes for you. By the hundreds.”
I rolled my eyes. “He just didn’t have good control over his power. He didn’t know how to go small.”
“Bloss, he was sarding in love with you. Everyone else saw it. You were too blinded by the other two to notice. And too immature to even manage a thank you at the time, remember?”
My face heated up and a little part of my chest constricted. “He was not.”
I would have known. Wouldn’t I? I thought back. But my memory was hazy.
“He always stared after you when you’d walk down the hall. Always.”
“Stop. Now you’re making things up.”
Avia held up two fingers. “Swear it.” She paused and bit her lip. “Confession, I may have noticed because I may or may not have had a childhood crush on Declan.”
My jaw dropped. “What?” And, despite myself, despite knowing that Declan was grown, that it was a childhood crush, that my sister would never do anything to hurt me, that Declan foolishly was thinking about marrying me … I felt jealousy rise up inside of me. Some part of me claimed Declan as mine.
Shite. She’s right, I reeled from the revelation.
Some part of me claimed all of them.
“What about Quinn?”
“Please. He’s a walking orgasm.”
That’s true.
This is a private conversation. Get out.
All right. But only after you admit it’s true.
You may be slightly attractive.
I’ll take it.
Shitehead.
Sard me. I’m in love with them. All of them. I couldn’t deny the truth of that thought.
Tears filled my eyes. “We need a new topic.” Because even if I wanted to claim them, I couldn’t.
“Don’t Bloss,” Avia reached out and grabbed my hand.
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t run again. You’ll kill them.”
“No. I’ll kill them if I stay. War is brewing.”
She squeezed my hand hard. “Forget that. You love them. Admit it.”
“Of course, I love them! That’s why I need to sarding get out of here.”
Avia sighed and leaned back against her pillows. “You need to solve the problem with them, if you love them.”
“Not necessarily,” I said. “Abbas said something interesting today … something about taking away gifts.”
Avia sat straight up in bed then, even though it made her wince. “There’s something off about him.”
“You don’t think he’s handsome?”
“I’m not blind. But I’m also not an idiot.”
“Why do you think he’s here?”
“I’m not sure. But it’s not for me, I can tell you that. He couldn’t be more disinterested if he tried.”
I stared at her. “That can’t be. He definitely spoke about alliances with me.”
“I definitely think he wants to ally with you. Emphasis on the lie part.”
“Do you mean lay or lie?” I laughed.
“Probably both,” she winked.
We giggled at her joke, letting the light-hearted moment break up our serious conversation, until Avia held her stomach and I helped her lie back down.
“I’m never eating cold pheasant again,” Avia swore.
“Yes, I’ll hold you to that until tomorrow,” I grinned. My sister’s appetite would never allow such a thing.
We smiled at one another for a moment. But soon my thoughts grew pensive again. I confessed to Avia, “Abbas might be able to help me.”
Avia grabbed my hands and squeezed them. The look on her face was grave. “I already told you, don’t trust him, Blossie. Something’s off with him.”
“But he’s part djinn. Djinn have the power to grant wishes,” I pulled away and crossed my arms.
“Wishes always go wrong,” Avia shook her head. “You wish to end a war, you get a dictator. You wish for safety, you end up in locked safely in a prison cell. Even if he has the best of intentions, which I doubt, we can’t trust him. Besides, don’t half-djinn only get to grant a few wishes anyway?”
“Three. In their semi-immortal lifespans, they only get three.” I leaned my head back against the chair and stared at the ceiling. “Shite, Avia. I just don’t want a dragon to …” I couldn’t say it.
“I know. It won’t. We’ll come up with a plan. It won’t.”
That night I slept curled up next to my little sister.
In the morning, Avia was better. And I thought the ray of sunshine peeking through the window signaled a good day.
But then Ryan entered with news that a large black shape had been spotted flying over the Cerulean Forest during the night. The forest where Cerena’s cottage was located. That was only a few hours away from the palace.
My need to run intensified.
I had a dancing refresher course with Connor the morning of the ball. It didn’t matter that a dragon had been spotted. My mother had ordered the refresher. So, I was not allowed to skip it.
“Calm down and focus,” Connor admonished, after I’d stepped on his toes a third time.
“I shouldn’t be here. I should be out there. I should be chasing that thing,” I gripped his shoulder harder than needed. As if that would somehow convince him to let me go with Ryan and his team, who’d set out to investigate at first light. I’d barely had time to kiss Ryan goodbye before he’d been out the door, heading to a gargoyle to mount up and search the forest and the skies for signs of the beast.
“If you’d just help me convince Wyle to break the distance spell—”
Connor reached up to loosen my grip. He stopped our waltz, no doubt annoying the piano player who’d started and stopped eight times over the course of this lesson already.
Connor gazed steadily at me. “Bloss, Ryan is on this. Quinn’s people are looking into it. I’ve spread rumors that we’ve been doing nightly air patrols. That should douse the mass panic. You need to trust us.”
I wrung my hands, mimicking the feeling in my gut. I was a twisted, gnarled mess inside. “I … I’m not used to doing that,” I confessed, staring at the black and white pattern on the marble floor.
“I’m aware. If you were, you never would have run in the first place.”
I glanced up. “I am sorry.”
He shook his head. “I’m just … so angry at you.” He dropped his grip on me and took a few steps away. He looked at the piano player. “Can we have the room for a few minutes? I’ll fetch you when we’re ready.”
The piano man slunk off in a hurry.
Connor turned back toward me. Without an audience, the anger on his face was blinding. He didn’t bother to contain it. It hit me like a blast of heat, the kind that comes from stepping out of the shade into the midday midsummer sun. I withered.
“You didn’t trust me enough to tell me. You didn’t trust me enough to take care of you, to protect you—”
“I couldn’t—”
He shook his head. “You could have found a way. Look at now.
How’d you get the other knights to figure it out?”
“I … but I’m different now. Back then, I was so scared of stepping out of line.”
“You ran away! How much more stepping out of line does it get?”
“I was trying to save everyone.”
“By leaving me? Leaving your other knights? Leaving your mother without an heir? Leaving Evaness without a god-damned queen?” Connor snapped. “You’re so much smarter and better than the rest of us that you didn’t need our help?”
I took a step back. His fury smacked at me. Punched me. Hit me like a plank. My chest felt bruised, beaten. It was hard to take a breath. Because he was right. He was completely and utterly right. I’d been arrogant.
Connor didn’t let up. He had four years of pent up anger, of hurt and loss and self-doubt swirling inside him that needed to pour out. And pour it did. “You think your mother didn’t search for a cure? Are you that stupid? To think that Queen Gela didn’t use every resource she had to help you? She’s always thought of you. Always! She never told me exactly what was wrong, Bloss. But she did take me aside after you left. Told me something wasn’t right with you. I thought she meant not right in the head—which still sarding applies—”
“You’re right.” I sank to the floor and hugged my knees. My head felt hollow. Everything I’d done, and all the reasons I’d had, took on a new light. “You’re right.”
“Of course, I’m sarding right! I know I’m right.”
“I’m sorry.” I dipped my head onto my knees. I clearly pictured each person I’d left behind. And how their life had been made that much harder. Trying to take on my responsibilities, to cover for me, to act as though everything was fine; I’d hurt a lot of people.
Connor came up and loomed over me. “I don’t give a damn that you’re sorry. I don’t believe that you’re sorry. If you were, you wouldn’t be thinking about leaving. You’re exactly the same as you used to be. You haven’t grown up at all. You’re a scared little girl who wants to run away and leave everyone behind to pick up the pieces behind you.”
I curled up further, tucking my head and hiding from the truths he hurled at me. It hurt, realizing how wrong I was. It physically cut me. Made me feel ill. I had hurt so many people. So, so many people.