by Lila Rose
It was safer I kept my private life behind closed doors. Safer for them so I wouldn’t kill them if they said or did something I didn’t like. Safer for whomever I chose to date, and safer for me, so I didn’t die of mortification.
I kicked at the rocks on the walk home, finding for once I wanted to curse. I could swear at myself for being such an idiot for having it on speakerphone in the first place. Somehow, I must have run my finger over it when I answered. Not only was I stupid for that, but for agreeing to help Wreck with his phone. I should have said it would be better for Benny at work to fix it. Then again, I hadn’t known it was for Wreck when Death asked.
“Idiot, idiot, idiot,” I ranted as I hit my palm against my forehead. Sighing, I stomped up the stairs and unlocked the front door.
All right, I just had to push it all back and distract myself with something. The best thing would be studying, and while I did that, I would plug Wreck’s phone in to see if I could fix it.
It was an hour later when I remembered to check if Wreck’s phone had finished charging. When I’d first checked it, I found all it needed was an upgrade. I also did a virus protection scan and found a couple I had to delete. I’d been surprised when I bypassed it that his phone didn’t have a passcode to get into it. Wreck didn’t lock his phone at all. Although, it was Death or Zion who said he didn’t have anything of importance on there. It made me wonder what he did have on there. However, I’d put it aside until it finished charging. Now it was staring at me, just asking to be checked out, much like his ass did.
Would it be bad to snoop?
Could he find out?
If he found out, would he kill me?
I kept reaching for it only to stop short and pull my hand back. I ran a hand over my face and groaned. It was such a temptation.
My phone sprang to life, and I yelped at the sudden sound. My heart raced in my chest. Grabbing it, I looked at the ID, and when I answered, said, “West, I nearly peed myself. Maybe text before you call to warn a guy.”
He laughed. “What were you doing that was so distracting to get scared in the first place?”
“Nothing,” I said.
“That was too quick. You were up to something. Tell me.”
“I was studying.”
“Sure you were. Wait, were you jerking off? I can go if you need to finish.”
“Heck, West, that’s… just no, and I wasn’t.”
“All right,” he drew out, sounding like he didn’t believe me. “Anyway, where were you that you couldn’t tell me if you asked Gregory out?”
The memory had me cringing. I tried to deflect the subject instead with “Just because you’re happily in love doesn’t mean I’m going to jump on board right away.”
He snorted. “Please, I knew if I didn’t hound you, you would chicken out.”
I huffed. “I won’t chicken out. I’ll ask him tomorrow when I see him.”
“Great, I want to hear all about it.”
“Fine.”
“Good.”
“Awesome,” I snarked. “Now, I better get back to work before I need to sleep.”
“Wait one second, you still didn’t answer me on where you were when I called.”
Damn it all.
Heck, why not just tell him? So I did, and then I hung up on him laughing.
Only then, I went back to staring at the phone on my desk.
A small look would be okay.
Slowly, I reached out and picked up the object. It felt heavier for some reason. Maybe it was the guilt I was projecting into the phone that made it heavy.
Did it stop me though?
No.
A nervous flutter filled my stomach when the screen lit up. Earlier, I’d noticed he didn’t have a background picture, just the standard factory setting. I went into photos in case he didn’t have any to pick from. I was wrong.
There were over fifty photos of women posing in some way. All flirty, all sexy, all sickly. God, he really did have a slew of women. It said Hailey wasn’t his only one, else she would have gone hissing mad about it all.
Did he have a different one each day of the week?
How was that possible?
He was older than me, and even I wanted a release three times a week. Okay, it was nearly every day if I was honest. But that was only because, since meeting Wreck and his damn good-looking face and body, my fantasies were all twisted up and had me ready to explode.
Feeling sick, where even my stomach twisted in an uncomfortable way, I got out of the photos. I had a chance to look at his text messages. With Zion not home, I was all alone, but I felt that was going too far. I also didn’t want to throw up by the messages I would see with his women.
Instead, I opened his browser to the web. He’d been looking up local builders. Boring.
However, when I went to his history, I froze.
No way.
No effing way.
Oh my God.
I dropped the phone and stood. I gripped my hair, and my eyes were so wide I was sure my eyebrows were making out with my hairline.
“Holy shit,” I whispered. The moment called for a swear word. It really did.
I sat down, only to get back up and to pace. “I don’t understand… why?”
My hands shook. I flicked them out and around. My heart was kissing my chest, it beat that hard and fast, while my stomach dipped up and down like it was on its own roller-coaster ride.
I wished I didn’t have that information. I didn’t know what to do with it. What was I supposed to do with this?
It wasn’t good.
It wasn’t good at all.
If I could kick myself in the ass, I would have right then. I should have left the phone alone. I shouldn’t have touched it.
Now I had.
I had, and my emotions had burst to life.
Grabbing the chair, I collapsed back into it and picked up the phone again. My hands trembled as I slowly brought the screen closer, and then I pressed the button to show what I’d seen.
It was still there.
Plain as day and I couldn’t believe it.
Why?
I rubbed at my eyes in case I was seeing things. Opening them, it still showed the same.
Why?
Dear God, why had Wreck been looking at porn?
Porn!
It wasn’t only that, but it was gay porn.
Right there on the screen were two men doing it.
Two men making love.
It was hot, it was slow, and it was nothing I expected to see in his browsing history. I glanced at the date of it. It’d been just the other day.
Wait… maybe it was a trick. I laughed to myself half-heartedly, even when I wanted to throw up. Would they be that hard up for a laugh and give me a phone with gay porn on it to test me to see if I looked at it?
But now I had, I couldn’t unsee it.
How would I act now?
Was it real?
Did Wreck look at this video? Was it someone else on his phone? Could it be Zion, Wreck, and Death playing a trick on me?
Shaking my head, I had to think they wouldn’t stoop so low. Would they?
I groaned; it almost sounded pained. I didn’t want to second-guess their actions, but there could be a small chance.
I couldn’t ask Kylo as there wasn’t a chance I would breathe a word about this to anyone.
Heck, I wouldn’t even act like I’d peeked into his phone.
Nodding to myself, I realized that all I had to do was never see Wreck again. I would give his phone to Zion, and I wouldn’t have to face him. He didn’t need to know I was aware he’d looked at gay porn. I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. That was if it was Wreck looking at it in the first place.
I would keep my mouth shut, and no one would know anything.
If I did come face-to-face with Wreck, then I would act normal. That, or I would run and hide.
Actually, running and hiding sounded good.
Someo
ne knocked on my door. I screamed and then yelled, “One second.”
“Bro, if you’re whackin’ off, I’ll talk to you in the mornin’.”
“Oh my God,” I yelled while getting out of Wreck’s history and then the internet. “Why does everyone think I’m masturbating?”
Zion laughed. I stomped to the door and opened it sharply. “Here,” I snapped. “I fixed Wreck’s phone. Give it to him tomorrow.”
“Will do.” He grinned.
“What did you want anyway?”
“Just to say I was back, saw your light on.”
“Right.” I nodded. “Okay.” I gave him a thumbs-up.
“Are you okay?”
“Great. Perfect. Peachy.”
Zion snorted. “Are you sure you weren’t whackin’ off?”
I stepped back and slammed my door in his face. He just laughed it off, and then I heard him shift down the hall to his room.
Chapter Six
Lucas
It had been a week since I worked on Wreck’s phone, and I still couldn’t get it off my mind. It plagued me in my sleep, schooling, and study. I was a mess, and it was all my own fault. I was a fool for being nosy and looking at his phone, so I had no one else to blame but me.
Sighing, I dropped the textbook on my desk. I leaned back in the chair and rubbed a hand over my face. I was tired, but I wanted to read another chapter before I stopped and watched some Netflix to wind down. I was supposed to be out with West and the rest of the group, but I canceled since I knew West would annoy me for not having asked Gregory out as yet. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to do it. It wouldn’t be fair to Gregory. My eyes drifted down to the note that fell out of my bag. I opened it again and read over it.
I’m going to fucking kill you.
Rolling my eyes, I knew who it would be from. Mitch. There wasn’t anyone else who hated me so much. After seeing the note, I refused to take it seriously, and he was stupid if he thought I would. What in the heck was his problem? If it was only because I bested him in classes, it was ridiculous. For now, I would ignore it. I didn’t have the energy to worry about Mitch being ridiculous. I had too much on my mind.
Thankfully, I hadn’t seen Wreck since last week. Even when he was around here the other night, I managed to hide in my room until they’d left. And the time I’d seen him down the street, I’d quickly turned around and walked the other way. All while trying not to poop myself in nerves.
If he questioned me, I was scared I would cave and tell him I looked at his phone, found some porn on there, and would probably ask if he knew he was looking at the wrong site. He needed the one with boobs and dicks, not all cocks.
“Forget it,” I said to myself. I shut the book, turned, and went to my door. Since Zion was about to leave, I would take over the living room and eat my share in popcorn drizzled in Nutella. I opened my door, yelped, and stumbled back. When my legs hit my bed, I dropped down and sat.
“Zion’s out there somewhere,” I told the one man I didn’t want to see while I pointed behind him.
“Saw him pullin’ away when I arrived,” Wreck explained, well, his version of an explanation; it didn’t tell me what he was doing there.
I nodded. “Okay,” I drew out. Why didn’t he follow after Zion?
“You saw it,” he growled.
My heart had only started to settle from the fright, but once more, it rattled like crazy around in my chest. “W-What? I-I don’t know?” I laughed nervously. “Saw that you’re, ah… standing in my door and scaring me? Then yes.”
Wreck stepped in and closed the door behind him.
Was this the time he would kill me?
“W-What’re you doing?” I glanced everywhere but at him. I couldn’t look at him because there was a high chance I would pee myself.
He stepped closer. “You’ve been dodgin’ me, why?”
I quickly stood and shifted to the side, so there was more room between us. I shrugged and moved over to my desk and faced away from him, where I reached out and straightened some books. “I, ah… don’t know what you’re talking about.” I fixed the pens I had lying around. “Did you, um, need something?”
My pulse sped, and my body locked when I felt heat at my back. I swallowed thickly when his rough voice caressed my ear. “You drive me fuckin’ insane.”
How? Why? The questions were stuck in my throat.
“So goddamn insane.” His voice was lower, gruffer.
Please tell me why, I pleaded silently.
He didn’t tell me though.
He didn’t say anything else.
But then he showed me what he meant.
Suddenly, I was gripped and spun around. Large hands held me, one at the back of my head and the other at my waist. It all happened so fast I didn’t register where they were until after lips pressed down onto mine.
Time stopped.
The room stilled.
The kiss didn’t go further. He just pressed his lips against mine as if he was frozen. I went to push him back, and maybe he sensed my intention because his fingers threaded into my hair, and the grip had me gasping. That was when he slipped in his tongue to touch mine. It didn’t stop at one touch. He used it to claim my mouth in a heavy, demanding, and so very hot kiss.
“Yo, Wreck? Lucas?” was called. Next, Wreck shoved me back. I hit my desk, and my things scattered everywhere. He took a step away with a panicked look on his face while he wiped at his mouth.
That hurt. It cut into my chest.
Although, since I knew Zion was coming down the hall and we couldn’t be caught in a situation Wreck obviously didn’t want to be seen in, I ordered, “Give me your phone and sit in the chair.”
Surprisingly, Wreck did, and just as the door opened, I was already pointing at something on Wreck’s phone. “That’s how you use it. If it happens again, you might be better seeing Benny at the shop.”
“Got it,” he bit out low.
“Good. Hey, Zion, I thought you’d left?”
“Yeah, I did, but I forgot my wallet. What’s goin’ on? Why you here, Wreck?” he asked, looking at both of us.
Since Wreck wasn’t going to say anything, I did. “I just fixed Wreck’s phone again,” I said as Wreck stood and faced Zion.
Zion’s eyes narrowed. “Okay. Why was the door shut?”
I snorted. “I didn’t even realize it was. Anyway, I’ve got shows to watch, popcorn to eat, and since I’m done with Wreck’s phone, he can go with you.”
Zion’s suspicion cleared, and he smiled. “Cool. Let’s get outta here, brother.”
“I’ll meet you out there,” Wreck said.
Oh no he didn’t.
He wasn’t going to tell me how much a mistake that was. I thrust his phone out to him, and as soon as he took it, I started for the door, saying, “It’s fine, Wreck. Like I said, I don’t need money for that.” My brother moved to the side, and I went by him, walking quickly.
“Lucas,” Wreck warned.
Zion laughed. I heard them coming my way. “Brother, he’s stubborn when it comes to shit like this. He won’t take your money. Forget it and let’s get goin’.”
At the entrance to the hall, I glanced back and said, “That’s right, I am stubborn, so forget it, Wreck.” I wasn’t sure when my balls had dropped and gave me a boost of confidence, but they did, and I was damn proud of them, well, me. I even said it without a blush or stumble over my words. I moved into the kitchen and grabbed out the popcorn.
“Catch ya later, Lucas,” Zion said.
“You got it,” I called.
“Later” was from Wreck.
“Uh-huh.” When I heard the front door open and close again, I gripped the kitchen counter and sucked in a shuddering breath. “Holy shit,” I whispered into the room. The adrenaline evaporated, and suddenly, my body shook with the shock of everything that just happened.
Wreck kissed me.
He kissed me.
Why would he do that?
More imp
ortantly, and before I got carried away with my emotions, I had to think rationally about it. Yes, the kiss was good. The best I’d had. But the look of horror from Wreck after told me he wished right away he hadn’t done it. Although, why had he come here in the first place? Had he been looking for Zion and then thought screw it, it’d be fun to mess with Lucas instead?
I shook my head. That whole situation didn’t make sense. What did he mean by saying I drove him insane? If anyone got to claim that, it would be me. I mean, really, he was the one who sent my mind spinning.
Then I remembered him asking if I’d seen it. He’d meant the porn on his phone. Maybe that had been playing on his mind, and he was sick of worrying if I would say anything to anyone, which could explain why he stopped by in the first place.
“But it doesn’t explain the kiss,” I said to myself as I stabbed my finger on the microwave buttons. Anger prompted my actions as I got out a bowl and slammed it to the counter. I stomped to the cupboard for the Nutella. I yanked it out, undid the lid, got a spoon, and dug into the thick gooey substance before shoving it in my mouth.
“Dickhead,” I said around my mouthful.
He had no right stopping by and kissing me.
“Prick,” I said before swallowing. When the microwave beeped, I stared at it, remembering the look on his face after that kiss.
My bottom lip trembled. I ground my teeth together, refusing to let it get to me. I wasn’t ugly; at least, I didn’t think I was. Yes, I was a guy, not the usual type he would make out with, but I had feelings, and he was playing with them by kissing me and then regretting it.
I had to distract myself.
I had to push that kiss to the back of my mind and lock it away.
I already knew it wouldn’t happen again. I couldn’t let it. I wasn’t someone to try something on, even if that was what he was doing. My heart wouldn’t be able to take it. I wasn’t a one-night fling, and I knew that Wreck would only want that…. Who was I kidding? I didn’t know him or what he was thinking.