Never again.
Never.
I grabbed hold of the shadows that filled the men and pulled, drawing them into the song. The sour notes of corruption changed to sweet harmony as I bled them of their Darkness.
A symphony coursed through my veins, and I became more than I was. A goddess of fire and healing. Nothing could stop me. I drew more magic, swelling the music to new heights.
“You’re…killing…me.” Michel’s voice pierced my heart.
A reminder of who I was.
A healer.
Not a killer.
This wasn’t how I used my power. I tried to rein it in, but it had taken on a life of its own. The music expanded as it fed on my magic and devoured every bit of taint it could reach.
It inhaled and absorbed the essence of all it touched into the song. Everything held a touch of Darkness. Everything.
“Ris…”
The strangled gasp turned into a cry of pain. I fought to contain what I had unleashed. To box it up and bury it. But, the music ignored my direction. I was no longer the conductor, but the conduit.
New notes built alongside mine. A harmony that hummed through my veins and brought visions of mountain lakes. It enfolded my uncontrolled magic. Wrapped it in deep water. Doused the flames and soothed the torrent of runaway notes into silence. I fell into it, plunged into its depths, and let it calm me.
I opened my eyes. Michel held me upright, his arms wrapped around my waist and his face buried in my neck. I clung to his jacket, my knees full of jelly. We sank to the earth as the last of our strength ebbed.
“Oh, Light help me, what have I done?” The words came out as a whisper, but I wanted to scream in horror at the sight of Michel. His skin was blistered and bright red. Fluid seeped from the deep burns. His breath came in harsh pants as if he’d run a long distance to get to me. The bond and my magic told me he was dying. His body was in the process of shutting down. A sob pushed out of my chest.
My magic hummed, ready and willing to heal him, but fear held me back.
“I…” Another sob tore free. Michel was injured, and it was my responsibility to repair the damage that I’d done. I steeled myself and dove headlong into the song. The water magic that Aris had unsealed twined with my fire. Cellos, with solemn notes melded with smooth trombones. It filled me with a sense of completeness. I had never felt this alive or well.
Something called to me. The corruption that filled the world taunted me, tempted me to turn the magic outward. To cleanse and burn away the taint in everything around me.
How had I not heard it before? I’d always been aware of the Darkness and taint, but the urge to destroy it, to purify it was something new. I steeled myself against the allure and turned it toward its intended healing purpose. Sweat ran down my face as I wrestled with the music.
Discordant notes clashed with the harmony I tried to build. It was a fight to use my healer’s fire and not unleash the terrible music that had injured Michel. Each note, each measure took all of my will to wrangle it into what I wanted.
One by one, I wrapped each of Michel’s organs, each muscle, nerve, and tendon, in my magic. A restorative net of silent notes. One by one, each piece resumed its normal function. His breathing eased. His muscles relaxed. The shudders that wracked his body ceased.
The song drew to a close, the final note hovering silently in the air. I fell back, exhausted, but found myself resting against Michel’s chest.
He breathed a sigh and his arms tightened around me. “We should find another place to hide.”
“Yes.” I remained where I sat and closed my eyes, keenly aware that I’d almost killed Michel. That I had killed the paladins.
“Ris,” he rasped. “What happened?”
Fear and shame choked me. The memories of my torture haunted me. The paladins who had given themselves to Darkness had acted as a catalyst, and my magic had spun out of control. The explanation slipped out along with a flood of tears.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
Michel’s jaw tightened, and he looked away. He pushed himself to his feet and offered me a hand up. I accepted, wobbling slightly as I stood.
The blackened and charred bodies of the paladins smoldered nearby. My stomach churned with the weight of those deaths. What had I done?
I had killed them.
And enjoyed it.
Bile rose into my throat and I choked as the heavy scent of burned meat clung to me. We returned to our little cave, wedging ourselves in. Exhaustion crept in, and slowly, my eyes slid closed.
I woke with a start not sure where I was for a moment. Guilt crashed over me as memories surged to the surface.
I crawled from the crevice and looked around for Aeron. No signs of him as late afternoon sun made the shadows stretch across the land. Worry for him pulsed in my gut. The bond we shared told me nothing other than he was alive and to the southwest.
I’d been asleep for maybe an hour. Not enough time to recuperate from expending so much magic. My senses stretched to their limits, looking for any sign of taint. Fatigue drummed on my bones. A relentless beat that made my head fuzzy, but as tired as I was, I couldn’t sleep.
I averted my eyes from the remains of the men I’d killed. No matter who they were, no matter what they’d done, they didn’t deserve the death I had given them.
My thoughts shifted back to the strangeness of my life. Everything had changed so suddenly and dramatically that I barely recognized myself.
I’d mastered my healing magic early on. The youngest master healer in the guild. To lose control, to harm a person intentionally with my magic, went against my vows to the Light. I’d not only hurt Michel, but I’d killed those men.
I’d never killed another person before. I held no reservations about killing demons, but the paladins…. Despite the fact that I’d known they were trying to capture me, it didn’t stop the guilt. I had taken pleasure in ending their lives. It had been euphoric. What was I becoming? Had Aris tainted me?
Tears pricked my eyes as remorse weighed heavy in my chest.
I blew out a deep breath and stared at the sky. Wispy clouds skittered across it, lacy bits of white that highlighted the vastness of the blue beyond. I felt small and insignificant in comparison. Who was I to think that I had the power to challenge the Darkness? What madness drove me into the tainted Bonelands?
I’d always known that I was the Lady’s vessel. Known that it was a secret that could cost me my life and soul if the wrong people found out. But, that had been a distant reality. Something that didn’t truly affect me as long as Bran and Aeron were by my side.
Then the unthinkable happened. I was left alone, and Inquisitor Tolbert had captured and tortured me. Something inside of me broke that day, and it hadn’t been repaired.
The answers wouldn’t be found staring at the clouds. I was running. Running from what the Inquisitor had done to me. I was refusing to face the truth that I had been changed by my experiences. I was no longer an innocent woman, living the simple life of a healer. I didn’t know who or what I was anymore.
My eyes turned to the bodies, twisted in their final throes of death. I forced myself to memorize the details. To etch the picture into my brain. I’d killed to sate my need for vengeance. No matter how out of control my magic was, it didn’t excuse that. Could I do what needed to be done with this thirst for revenge filling me?
My stomach churned. No, I would take it moment by moment. Michel and Aeron would keep me in check. They would contain me if I lost control again.
My hands tightened into fists. I’d almost killed Michel. What would it take to stop me if it happened again? Would it cost Michel and Aeron their lives?
“Are you all right?” Michel asked.
I started at the sound of his voice in the silence that surrounded us. “A little tired. What about you?”
He leaned against one of the boulders. I joined him, my shoulder bumping his. He leaned aw
ay. His aversion stung, but I understood. I’d broken the fragile trust that had started to form between us.
“What made you lose control?” he asked.
I dug my shoe in the dirt, unable to look at him. Unable to bear the sight of anger, disappointment, and fear I knew I would find on his face. I took a deep breath before I told him everything. All of my worries. The guilt and sorrow that filled my chest with a lead weight. The joy that came from killing. The fear of losing myself. Tears streamed as I spoke, and I prayed that my Sword wouldn’t turn away from me. That he could forgive me for what I’d done.
Michel was silent and still through my ramblings. Almost, he could be mistaken for an extension of the rock he leaned against.
Silence pressed around us when I finished.
“What you did….” Michel’s voice was little more than a whisper. “You’re headed into the Darkness, Ris.”
“I know.”
“Do you?” Michel grabbed my chin and tipped my face toward the dead paladins. “Look at them.”
My body trembled as I stared at the corpses. I wanted to look away, but I forced myself not to.
“That would have been me if I hadn’t been able to stop you.”
The force of his words settled on my shoulders, causing my knees to buckle. I wrapped my arms around myself and slid to the ground. “I know. I am so sorry.”
A long moment passed before he crouched beside me. Another moment, and he gently wrapped his arms around me, his cheek resting against my hair. “I don’t want to lose you to the Darkness.”
“Will you teach me how to use my water magic?” I asked.
“You’re afraid of losing control again.”
I nodded.
He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “All right, but not today.”
I offered him a strained smile. We both needed sleep, but that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. We settled back into our hiding spot to wait for Aeron. I prayed for his safe return and that nothing else would go wrong.
14
Aeron crouched beside a thin stream, its muddy waters flowing sluggishly over its rocky bed. Horses grazed, tied to a picket line, but their riders were nowhere to be seen. Their tracks had come from the west and headed further into the hills. Why had they left their horses?
The hair on his arms stood on end. Something was definitely off, but he couldn’t place what. He shaded his eyes from the sun and wondered how Ris and Michel fared. It had been a few hours since he’d left them. The rugged land made scouting difficult, causing him to back track often. Signs of demons were everywhere, but nothing fresh. Nothing to show where they might be hiding.
Dusty, dry air tickled Aeron’s nose. He held in a sneeze, stifling it with his hand. The scent of rotten meat hovered beneath the tang of the Copper Hills, a clear indication the demons were close, but he had been unable to pinpoint where.
Aeron rubbed his forehead. What in the Light was Ris thinking? Going into the Bonelands to find the Heart? What madness drove her? There was only one person who could convince her not to attempt such a reckless plan.
He pulled the seerstone out from around his neck and dribbled a bit of magic into it. A quick rat-a-tat of drumbeats and the stone glowed pale green. He closed his eyes and the darkness of Between surrounded him. Pinpricks of light spread out in a blanket of stars, each one a single consciousness. He reached with ethereal arms toward Bran, but slammed into a barrier.
Demon’s balls. Aeron scratched his head, working his way through the problem. His seerstone had worked in Hader’s Junction before he’d met up with Ris and Michel.
Whatever was blocking communication was attached to them.
Aeron sat, not caring if his backside got soaked. The spell had to be localized, but what was the range? How far away would he have to be to get through to someone?
Shouts and the screams of men and horses echoed off the shale covered hills, pulling him from his musings. Void take it, what now?
Aeron debated returning or following the sounds to see what was going on. He should head back, but it was better to be aware of danger than ignorant. He wrapped himself in a flurry of snare drums and shifted into his fox form. Creeping across the ground, his keen nose sorted through the various scents.
Men.
Coyotes.
Rabbits.
Demons.
The late afternoon sun cast deep shadows between the hills as he followed the mixed stench.
Gunshots. Screams. The barking yips of ghouls. Someone wasn’t having a good day. How many of the creatures were there? His ears twitched. From the sounds of it, a lot.
Ten steps. Twenty. Thirty.
Footsteps pounded toward him. A man in dusty overalls sprinted by, three of the ghouls in close pursuit. They lunged and grabbed the man, their long claws ripping into flesh. He screamed and fired his pistol. Black blood sprayed as the shot tore a chunk from one of the ghoul’s shoulder. It hissed and got its revenge by tearing the man’s throat out.
Light! Aeron froze. In his fox form, he was a sitting duck if the ghoul noticed him. Silence descended, stifling in its intensity. Acrid gun smoke permeated the air, stinging Aeron’s eyes. He’d been too slow to save him. He held his breath and crept away, avoiding the creature devouring the dead man’s flesh. Regret gnawed at him.
Aeron skirted around the hill, careful not to draw any attention. The small pocket valley on the other side was filled with death. Bodies lay sprawled where they fell, their clothes blending with the ground. Blood pooled beneath them and dotted the rocks, the crimson a stark contrast to the dull shale.
The wet slurp of feasting ghouls was loud in the silence. Aeron’s stomach churned. It didn’t matter how many times he’d seen it happen, it still made him ill. The sounds were almost worse than the sight.
Aeron inched forward, one paw at a time. None of the men had survived. Probably miners from a nearby settlement. Likely running to Camp Restin for help. Easy pickings for a pack of ghouls. What were the Council and the Bastion thinking? Why weren’t they sending patrols to take care of the problem?
He hugged the hillside, avoiding the bodies. The wet snuffle of one of the creatures stopped him. It paced a few feet ahead, its nose raised in the air. Its black tongue darted out and licked its lips. Aeron’s fur stood on end. It smelled him, but hadn’t found him yet.
He inched away, trying to give himself distance to maneuver. He couldn’t afford to fight the entire pack. Chances were high that he wouldn’t survive. He might be one of the original paladins, but that didn’t make him invincible. He was still in his fox form. It would take time to shift, and that would cost him.
The ghoul gave an excited bark, and a chorus of yips answered.
Light, this was bad. He needed to get downwind so they couldn’t track him.
His heartbeat echoed in his ears as he circled around the ghoul. One step. Ten. Twenty. It turned with Aeron, its head swiveling as if confused.
Aeron inched away, moving close to one of the dead bodies in an attempt to cover his scent. The ghoul’s eyes lit up when it spotted the corpse. It gave a high-pitched squeal and dove toward the body.
Aeron kept his eyes on the ghoul as it gorged itself. He continued to back away and breathed a sigh of relief once he was far enough to no longer be a target.
Lady, bless their souls and return them to the Void. The prayer wasn’t worth much, but it was the least Aeron could offer. He didn’t have the time or ability to bury the dead. He had other things to worry about.
One more regret in the long list he’d built over the years.
He retraced his steps to the stream and the horses. Their ears twitched, and they eyed him warily as he shifted back to his human form.
A quick search of their saddlebags confirmed his suspicions about the men’s identities. The bags held mining supplies, ammunition, and an old news sheet. He scanned the headlines and nearly dropped the newspaper in shock.
&nb
sp; ‘Bastion Rounds Up Non-Sanctioned Magic Users.’
He scanned the article and nearly screamed in frustration. They had passed laws making it illegal to use magic without permission from the Bastion. Anyone caught would be branded a heretic.
Aeron crumpled the paper. What in the Void was going on? He closed his eyes struggling to put the random bits together. A bounty on his head. The Lords of Light and original paladins being sent out on impossible missions. Charms being made illegal in order to target healers. Magic users being rounded up. It was as if the Council was seeking to rid the world of the remaining links to the Lady.
He tied the reins of the other horses to the saddle horn of the one he intended to ride and started to mount when pain ripped through his bond with Ris.
Wild magic coursed through him, hot and full of razor-sharp notes. He froze, one foot in the stirrup, one still on the ground as he leaned his forehead against the horse’s side. The music overwhelmed his senses and blurred his vision.
His heartbeat echoed in his ears as magic continued to pour through the bond. Something had happened to Ris, but he had no idea what. His body shook as the out of control music ebbed. He was barely aware of his surroundings.
He finished mounting and swayed in the saddle. Light, this was no good. He was going to fall off the horse if he wasn’t careful. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he nudged the beast forward, using his bond with Ris as a guide.
There were no more signs of ghouls. No patrols either. Darkness covered the land by the time Aeron arrived. The moon rose high overhead, casting its cold light across the barren hills.
“Who’s there?” A figure stepped from behind a boulder. From the set of his shoulders and the voice, Aeron knew it was Michel.
“It’s me.” Aeron dismounted and led the horses closer. “Where’s Ris?”
“Sleeping.” Michel leaned against the rock.
“I felt her magic go out of control. What in the Void happened?”
Michel ran a hand through his hair, dislodging his curls from the tie that held them in place. “She nearly killed me.”
A Sea of Broken Glass Page 14