The Heart’s beat echoed in my body. Become the Lady’s vessel. I had been taught to fear that very idea. What did becoming the vessel really mean? Should I do as the Lady asked?
Deep inside I knew I had taken the first steps. By coming to the Bonelands, by agreeing to find the Heart, I had given my consent.
“What do I have to do?”
The Lady smiled gently. You will only be able to cleanse the Heart when all of your magic has been unsealed. Find the Heart, and then I will give you what you need to restore the balance.
“I don’t know if I can.” I dug my fingers into my palms. All the doubts and insecurities that had plagued me since I entered the Bonelands roared through me.
You are stronger than you realize.
Fear and doubt still held me back. “What will happen to me if I become your vessel?”
I do not know for sure. The Lady touched my cheek. You are the first to make it this far.
The first and the last. The vision of death and destruction would become a reality if something didn’t change. The longer I traveled in the Bonelands, the clearer that became.
“I can’t find the Heart wandering aimlessly in circles.”
Let your own heart guide you.
Thud-thud.
I could do this. I had to. To save Aeron. To save Michel. To save myself. I had to do it.
Thud-thud.
My heart was a beacon I could use to find what was lost.
My curse left the Darkness without a body. He wears many faces now. Be careful who you trust, Marissa.
I gave her one last look before I reached inside myself and pulled on the threads of magic that bound me to my body.
I sat up gasping and reaching for something. I didn’t know what, just that I needed to hold on to something real. I felt fingers close around my hand, and warm magic spread from the touch. Slowly, my eyes adjusted to the bright sunlight, and I found Michel kneeling in front of me.
“What happened?” His eyes held mine. The touch of his magic eased the worry and fear that pounded in my chest. It helped, but it wasn’t enough.
Aeron slept next to me, curled in a ball on his side. I needed advice. In spite of everything that had happened since we came to the Bonelands, Aeron had always been there for me. I nudged him with my foot, unwilling to let go of Michel and the comfort he provided.
Aeron sat up and rubbed his eyes. “What is it, imp?”
In a flurry of words, I told them about the sound I’d been hearing since entering the Bonelands, an echo of my own heartbeat. My body shook with the aftereffects of the dream. “I know how to find the Heart.”
“You can’t trust your dreams,” Aeron warned, “especially not in this place.”
Michel held me tighter. “Do you ever get tired of being an overprotective jackass?”
I closed my eyes. I was so tired. “Don’t make me command you to stop fighting.”
Aeron’s expression hardened. “Demon’s balls, you know as well as I do that the taint is in everything out here. Including the Between and the path of dreams.”
Michel flicked a bit of sand toward Aeron. “Maybe you just don’t want her to succeed.”
I laid a hand on Michel’s arm, hoping to restrain him.
“Don’t tell me you’re okay with him questioning everything you do?” Michel’s voice was tight with anger.
“I…” I didn’t have an answer. I wasn’t okay with it, but I understood. I’d put both of them in a horrible position. It was likely we would die in the Bonelands.
“Give it a rest.” Aeron drew his blankets around his shoulders and laid back down.
My heart gave a painful lurch.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured. The doubts that plagued me wrapped themselves around my mind in a strangling grip. Aeron was right. Everything in the Bonelands was tainted.
The Heart.
The Lady.
Me.
But, I couldn’t let go of the need to do as the Lady asked. As surely as Michel and Aeron were compelled to follow me through our bond, I was compelled to find the Heart.
I curled up on my side and closed my eyes. Michel settled next to me, his magic twisting and twining with my own. His fingers drifted through my hair, carrying away the cold fear that squeezed my belly with each gentle touch. I rolled to my other side and stifled my tears against his broad chest. I hated hurting Aeron. Hated the endless nightmare that I was trapped in. Hated that it was my choices that brought us here. But, I was the last of the vessels. The only one who could do what had to be done. Slowly, my body relaxed, and I slipped back to sleep surrounded by Michel’s warmth.
27
Michel couldn’t take his eyes off Ris. Jealousy tinged his vision every time she looked at Aeron instead of him. It was torture. He knew it wasn’t real. Knew it was something conjured by the Bonelands and the taint, but that didn’t stop his itch to make Ris see only him, and make Aeron disappear.
Morning sun beat across the black expanse, increasing the irritation that buzzed beneath the surface of Michel’s skin. It was almost time to stop and rest, but they pressed on in the hopes of getting to the Heart.
Why? Why couldn’t she see how much he needed her? Light, he’d never needed anyone like this before. He’d always kept his distance. Kept women at arm’s length. Why would he want the heartbreak of outliving someone he loved? Of losing pieces of himself over and over again? Yet, there Ris was, worming her way into his life like some kind of parasite.
Five hundred and thirty-two years old and he was acting like a schoolboy with his first crush. Demon’s balls, what was wrong with him?
Michel growled under his breath and tried not to let his irritation show. He wouldn’t give in. Wouldn’t let the taint twist his feelings into something ugly.
“Are you all right?” Ris walked next to him, beautiful as always, even covered in dirt and sweat, with her hair hanging in greasy clumps.
Light help him, he needed to get away from her.
Needed to get closer.
His heart gave a painful lurch. “I’m fine.”
“Aeron seems like he’s doing better.” Her words felt like a hot poker shoved into his chest.
Michel gave a wordless grunt, unwilling to alienate her with his temper. He couldn’t trust himself not to say something he would regret once they were free from the infernal Bonelands. Her magic brushed against his, the briefest touch sending a spike of need through him.
“I’m worried about you.” Ris moved closer until their shoulders brushed.
Too close.
Not close enough.
Michel ground his teeth together and kept his eyes focused on the endless expanse of sand. “I told you I’m fine.”
“But—”
“Leave it alone.”
Ris looked away. The words came out harsher than he’d intended. He wanted to take them back. Bitterness coated his mouth and throat. Struggling against the taint was futile. It wormed its way into everything.
He hated it. Hated her.
No. That wasn’t right. Michel rubbed at his face, trying to put his thoughts in order. He loved her.
Ris stared ahead, her eyes scanning the endless, empty expanse. “We’re going to die out here, and it’s all my fault.”
“Then command us to leave.” He should be comforting her. Helping her. He couldn’t do it. He’d told Aeron that they had no choice but to help her. That going back before they had the Heart would harm her. He knew it would, but the longer they stayed in the Bonelands, the murkier his thoughts became.
“I…” Ris’s hands curled into fists. “You know why I can’t.”
“I know.”
Michel’s magic reached for her, begging for release from his driving need. To have the itch beneath his skin soothed. He wound her magic tighter around himself. Held it close. Let it fill him. Intoxicate him. Ris didn’t resist. Her magic burrowed deep into his soul as his wrapped around her.<
br />
“Light, would you two stop it?”
Staccato drumbeats slapped between them and disrupted the flow of magic. The sound shocked Michel into pulling back.
“We have enough trouble right now without you two heading straight for disaster.” Exasperation coated Aeron’s words.
“Stay out of it,” Michel growled.
“No.” Aeron stepped between Michel and Ris. “You’re acting like love-struck idiots. I won’t let you kill yourselves.”
The urge to stab Aeron rode over Michel. His hand twitched toward his rapier. Aeron’s eyes glinted as he followed the motion.
“That’s enough,” Ris said wearily. “He’s right.”
Michel ignored her and focused on Aeron. Jealousy burned away his hesitation. Aeron was an impediment that had to be removed. He drew his pistol. “You won’t get between us anymore.”
He aimed for Aeron, who watched him warily.
Why wasn’t he trying to defend himself?
It didn’t matter. If Aeron wanted to die, Michel would be glad to help him along.
Ris pushed them apart, blocking his shot. “Don’t do this.”
Cold slithered through Michel’s chest. His finger hovered over the trigger. “Then command Aeron to leave. We’ll find the Heart. Just you and me.”
Ris shook her head. “I need both of you.”
Red hot anger seared through Michel’s veins. If he couldn’t have her, then no one else would. He wouldn’t tolerate another man touching her. His finger rested on the trigger, but something held him back. He shook his head to clear it. “I love you.”
Her eyes widened at the words. The look of panic that crossed her face speared him in the gut.
What was he thinking? He’d just confessed his feelings while pointing a gun at her. But, hadn’t she just admitted that she wanted Aeron?
No. That wasn’t right. He pinched the bridge of his nose. Aeron was like a brother to her. She didn’t want Aeron. She needed his help in getting the Heart.
“Michel, look at me.”
Her voice held a note of something he couldn’t quite grasp. He closed his eyes, trying to sort through the emotions that rampaged through him.
Jealousy. Hate. Anger. Love.
They coiled together and created something that wasn’t a part of him, but he had no idea how to unwind them.
A soft touch on his hand, the one that held the gun, brought him back to the moment.
He holstered the pistol. “I….”
Ris held his gaze. “It’s all right. I know. This place, it…”
He touched her cheek. “I’m sorry.”
She nodded. “Let’s keep going.”
This wasn’t the time to deal with it. They needed to find the Heart.
“We’re close.” Ris’s voice barely carried over the chittering, bodiless voices on the wind. “So close. Just a little further.”
Michel avoided looking at her. He couldn’t say anything. Couldn’t apologize or voice his fears. His words crowded together, pressing into a lump that blocked his throat.
Aeron, his face void of expression, walked silently next to Michel. No apologies. No remorse. Michel ignored Aeron’s presence; it was vinegar in the raw wounds that covered his heart and soul.
Early morning turned to afternoon. They continued onward, the heat of the sun blazing over Michel’s chaffed and sunburned skin. Emptiness surrounded them. An echo of the desolation that bred in Michel’s heart. There was no reason to stop. Not until exhaustion claimed them. No impediments. Only demons and Darkness stalked the land, and should they encounter either, Michel doubted they would have the energy to face it.
The look on Ris’s face when Michel had confessed his feelings lingered in his mind, twisting like thorny vines around his heart. The horror and fear that turned her skin pale and her eyes wide. She must hate him.
He was so caught up in his thoughts that he nearly ran into Aeron. “Why did you stop?”
Aeron pointed at Ris, who walked in a tight circle, one had pressed to her chest.
“It’s here.” She started frantically digging. “I can feel it.”
Aeron knelt next to her. “Are you sure?”
Ris didn’t answer. A slim bit of hope lodged itself in Michel’s heart. Were they really in the right place?
“Help me.” Ris scooped sand and threw it to the side.
Michel stared at the pair, his jealousy warring with his sense of what was right. “We’ve been walking all night. We should rest first.”
Aeron grabbed Ris by the wrist to stop her. “He’s correct. Digging like this will only exhaust us. After I get some sleep, I can use my magic to remove the sand a little at a time.”
Michel held himself rigid to keep from hitting Aeron. How dare he touch Ris?
Ris pulled free from Aeron’s grip. “But—”
“No.” Aeron scrubbed a hand over his face. “We’ll make camp, sleep, and then get to work.”
Ris dug her fingers into the sand, her shoulders hunched and her head bowed. “Fine.”
Michel helped Aeron set up the bedrolls. They worked in silence which Michel was grateful for. He didn’t trust himself not to say something that would start a fight. Once they were done, Aeron climbed into his bedroll and turned his back to them.
Michel stared up at the sky, the heat of the day seeping into his bones. Ris sat next to him and rested her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and lay down. She didn’t resist. Instead, she snuggled into his chest. Her warmth eased the ice that had settled in his heart. They’d done this almost every day since entering the Bonelands.
The need to be close, to touch a living person in the never-ending emptiness that surrounded them, it was part of what drove him to seek out Ris at every opportunity.
“I’m sorry,” Michel whispered. “It’s this place. It gets in my head and eats away at everything.”
Ris laid her fingers over his lips. “Don’t.”
He gently pulled her hand away. “I—”
“Not now. Not when we’re surrounded by taint and Darkness. Not when I can’t even imagine a future.” She buried her face in his shoulder. “I want to be free of this place before…”
Michel’s arms tightened around her. He understood. “We’ll get through this.”
He didn’t believe his words. Couldn’t believe they would make it out of the Bonelands alive. But, Ris needed hope. She needed to believe in something. He could give her that.
“Tomorrow,” Ris whispered, “we’ll find the Heart.”
Michel closed his eyes. The jealousy that had plagued him since they entered the Bonelands still burned in his chest, but having Ris in his arms eased it a little. It was the only thing keeping him sane.
Tomorrow. They would either find the Heart or the demons that followed them would attack. Either way, Michel doubted they would survive. The Bonelands would claim three more lives. Tomorrow.
28
The Darkness lives inside of everything. It’s a part of me, and a part of my creation. And yet, the balance continues to shift precariously. His seeds grow while mine wither and die. I cannot pass on my power without corrupting my vessel, but my vessel must have my Light to restore the balance. Surely there must be a way.
~Excerpt from “The Lady and the Darkness” as translated by Sir Gwilam Cavanaugh
The deep rumble of a bass drum echoed in my bones and sand flew into the air. It landed in a pile to my right as Aeron used his magic to open a hole in the earth. The Heart’s beat thrummed in my chest and radiated through my body.
Wind whipped around us in a frenzied dance, tugging at my clothes and grating across my skin like sandpaper. The bodiless voices wailed and screamed, their frantic tones increasing the deeper Aeron dug.
We were close. I felt it in my soul. The visions of the past that haunted us grew stronger. More solid. More real. Faces. Buildings. People. We no longer stood in an empty wasteland.
A city surrounded us. The one from my dreams and Aris’s memories.
We stood in the middle of the Lady’s palace instead of a desert filled with black sand and glass. The scent of jasmine and honeysuckle permeated the air, and I rubbed at my eyes, trying to see beyond the vision. Nothing changed.
Aeron closed his eyes and kept digging. Sand piled on top of the marble floors, but the hole he dug was no longer visible.
I grabbed Michel’s arm as a feeling of revulsion filled me.
The palace still surrounded us, but shadows clung to the walls, an oily, foul sludge that crawled down them. Men, women, and children crowded the room, kneeling with their hands bound behind their backs. The Darkness strode down the line, a cruel smile twisting his lips. It made my stomach clench.
One by one, the people were flayed. Skin peeled from bodies, flesh torn from bones until they all lay dead at the man’s feet. Blood coated the white tiles and walls in curtains of red. Bile rose in my throat as the horrid scene faded and disappeared.
The vision formed again. The wrongness grew stronger. I couldn’t allow it to repeat. Both Michel and Aeron fell to their knees, horror and grief painted on their faces.
“Light,” Aeron whispered, “why did the Lady let this happen? She didn’t even try to stop him.”
Tears streaked down Michel’s face. “I was too late to save them.”
Icy fingers trailed over my skin. Something was terribly wrong. I grabbed a pistol, unable to articulate the odd sensation as I scanned the area.
I edged closer to Michel and Aeron, extending my senses as far as they would reach. The taint of the Bonelands overwrote my perception of any nearby threat, yet instinct told me danger was close.
“Do you feel it?” I asked. A moment passed with no response. Then another. “Michel? Aeron?”
Caught up in the looping memory, neither of the men responded. They were locked into the gruesome tragedy as it played over and over, drawing them deeper inside. Why wasn’t I affected?
There had to be a way to break them out it. I aimed the pistol and fired at the image of the Darkness. The shot shattered the silence, and the mirage broke like glass.
A Sea of Broken Glass Page 25