I shook my head and resisted the urge to reach out to him. “Anyway, Julia and I were talking about you.”
Kincaid’s jaw tightened. “I am sorry for bursting into your house like that. I honestly didn’t know you were married. I never want to come between you and Julia. I really do like her.”
I let out another breath. “I’m glad you like her. Because Julia wanted to ask you something.”
“And yet, you’re the one here?” Kincaid asked.
I ran my hand over my face. “Yeah…and I’m doing a shit job of it, too.”
“Maybe, but why don’t you tell me what you’re thinking?”
“Julia and I were talking. And while she should be here, I think she put me in this situation so I would sit down face-to-face with you.”
“What situation?”
“We’d like to ask you over for dinner,” I said quickly, then took a sip of my sugary drink.
Kincaid blinked slowly. “Okay. I’m trying to figure out what you’re saying here. Because I miss you, Ronin. And as much as I want to say that you and I can just be friends, and I can hang out with you and your wife, I don’t think I’m strong enough for that.”
I let out a shaky breath. “And that’s why we want to ask you over for dinner…as a date.”
Kincaid froze. “Run that by me again?”
“Julia and I haven’t been actively looking, but we have talked about finding a third for our relationship. That is something we’ve discussed, and she’s the one who brought it up now. I don’t know if this is a good idea or if we’re going to ruin everything we could have, but something in my gut—and something sure as hell in hers—says that maybe we can work something out. That maybe you being here right now when we’re looking to perhaps add another to our relationship is important.”
I watched as Kincaid ran his hands through his curls. “You’re asking me out on a date. With both you and your wife.”
“I know it’s stupid,” I mumbled.
“No, it’s not. It’s sort of how you and I asked Alexis out,” Kincaid growled.
I flinched. “Julia isn’t Alexis.”
“You know, from the way that Julia looks at you, from the way she opened her arms to me when I was sitting in your house, invading everyone’s space, I could tell that immediately. But, Ronin, what do you want?”
I met his gaze. “I don’t know yet. But I do know that I missed you. And I love my wife, and she wants to see what happens, and that lets me think that I want to see what happens. We could mess this up. And we could only end up friends in the end. But Julia? She’s the center of my universe. I don’t want to lose that, but I don’t want to lose you again either.”
I was baring my soul to this man, and I felt like I was making all the mistakes, but he looked at me and then reached out and traced his finger along my palm.
And then his fingers went to the ring on my second to furthest finger and tapped the metal there.
“This isn’t like dating before,” Kincaid said. “You’re already very much entangled.”
“I am. And when you come over for dinner, you can see exactly how. But I don’t know, Kincaid. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but this feels right.”
“I’m going to be an idiot if I say yes.”
“Maybe.”
“But I could be even more of an idiot if I say no.”
And then Kincaid pulled his hand back and gave me a tight nod. “We can see. Just dinner. And if I walk away just being your friend and Julia’s? Then maybe that’s okay with me. Because from what I saw from your wife, she’s amazing.”
“She’s more than,” I corrected.
“Most likely. And I don’t want you to get hurt or hurt her in what we do.”
“Then let’s not. Let’s figure it out.”
“When is dinner?” the former love of my life asked, and the world fell away around me, yet it clicked into place inside me at the same time.
We might be making the gravest of mistakes, but something inside me told me we should take the leap.
I wasn’t a simple man, nor were the two people that had wrapped themselves around me. And maybe that was okay. Perhaps we could work this out. Or maybe I would end up hurting the woman I loved, and the man that I thought maybe I could have again.
Chapter 5
Kincaid
Did one bring flowers or chocolates to visit their ex-boyfriend and his wife?
I didn’t know the answer to that, but I still brought flowers. For both Ronin and Julia. I had no idea what I was doing, and I was pretty sure that I was going to end up hurting somebody in the process of this, but I couldn’t back away. I was a masochist, a sadist, all of those things, at least when it came to my feelings for Ronin—and possibly now Julia.
I’d only met her once, and because she was so important to Ronin, she had to be important to me. Maybe tonight I would find the true woman beneath the labels, though I wasn’t sure what I would do with any revelations that came up after I left.
I still wasn’t sure how I had come to be here. Yet Ronin had asked, as had Julia, even if she hadn’t been in the room. Only, that was a lie. She had been in the room between Ronin and me. She stood between us, but not as a barrier, as another point of connection. And now it was time to explore exactly what that meant. I rang the doorbell, trepidation sliding over my skin.
The door opened nearly as soon as I touched the button, and Julia stood on the other side, soft gray slacks covering her legs, fitted tightly around her thighs and hips. She had on a flowy blouse thing that looked complicated with all its twists around the arms and neck, but it just showcased her curves and gave the barest hint of cleavage.
It made my mouth water, and I had to tell myself it was too soon for those thoughts. We were taking the initial steps to see what could be. Me lusting after Ronin’s wife wasn’t the right direction to begin in, especially at full speed.
“You’re here.” Julia smiled. She wore heels that made her nearly tall enough to kiss my cheek. She still went up onto her tiptoes, slid her arm over my shoulder, and pressed her lips to my skin.
“I love your beard.” She pulled away and smiled at me, kindness in her eyes. She put everyone at ease, and I had no idea what to do with that. Any tension I’d held earlier flowed right out of me, though I knew it would come back the instant I took a step inside. But being near her relaxed me.
It was a gift, one I hadn’t truly known others could possess.
“I trimmed it a bit,” I said sheepishly, my hands too full for me to rub them over my face like I wanted. “I kind of like the thing, though. The longer it gets, the more blond streaks end up mixed in with the red.”
“I like it, although finding skin to kiss is very interesting.” She took a step back and let me into the house. “Welcome to our home. Again.”
I handed her the bouquet of wildflowers, and her eyes brightened. “These are beautiful, Kincaid. Thank you.” Her gaze went to the other bouquet in my hands, and she grinned wickedly. “Oh, I like you.”
I was a natural redhead and could feel my cheeks blush at that.
Great, this is going to be interesting.
Ronin came into the living room headed for the foyer at that moment, wiping his hands on a dishtowel. “Sorry it took me a bit, I’m on dish duty.”
He smiled then, and I could see the tension in his shoulders, the careful look in his eyes. But then he met Julia’s gaze, and his shoulders dropped a fraction as if she relieved that ache for him, as well.
What kind of gift did this woman have? It seemed I was about to find out.
“These are for you,” I said, clearing my throat.
Ronin’s gaze went to the flowers in my hands, then to the matching bouquet in Julia’s.
He ducked his head and cleared his throat. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever received flowers before.” He reached out, and I gave him the bouquet, our fingers brushing. A shock sizzled between us, and I swallowed hard, telling myself that I could not
take a step back. If I did, I’d hurt Ronin, and I’d already done enough of that.
“I can’t believe I haven’t,” Julia said, tapping her lip. “I feel like I’ve been remiss. You just wait. You’re going to get surprise flowers now.” She leaned in and kissed her husband before taking the bouquet from him. “I have matching vases that will work perfectly for the dinner table.”
“Get comfortable, Kincaid. We have a sparkling cider and a few nonalcoholic drinks that we made for you.”
I shook my head. “I’m good with water.”
She raised a brow. “You’re welcome to have anything you’d like. Tonight will be a dry evening.”
I frowned. “You don’t have to refrain because I’m here. I’m fine with people drinking around me.”
Ronin interrupted. “And I’m glad to hear it. If we do this again, or whenever we meet again, we might have that drink. But tonight, Julia and I decided that it’d be good to have clear heads.” Our eyes met. “Or at least as clear as they can be in this case.”
I swallowed hard. “Then sparkling cider sounds good.”
“I can mix it with a peach puree if you’re interested,” Julia said, her voice echoing out from the kitchen area.
“I’d try it. She’s a whiz at that. Some of our friends own cafes like that one we met in. And they’ve been having fun coming up with different drinks so they can make them at home.”
“Oh, that sounds good.” I raised my voice. “I’ll take one of those.”
“Me too, babe,” Ronin called out, our gazes never leaving each other.
My dick had already hardened, and not just for the man in front of me. Okay, then, this was going to be an interesting evening.
“I like your home,” I said, and let out a shaky laugh. “I think I said that the first time I was here.”
“It’s a good home. It’s one story, as you can see from the outside.” I looked down as Ronin tapped his thigh. “Easier for me.”
“And let’s be honest, me too,” Julia said, her hands full. I beat Ronin to her and took two glasses from her hands.
I met her gaze. “I could have helped. I didn’t know you were making them right away.”
“It’s okay. I waitressed for a while in high school and college. I’m pretty good at it.”
“And yet, you were just about to say something about how you trip up stairs, and that’s why we like a one-story house?” Ronin asked, laughter in his tone.
She stuck her tongue out at him. “Oh, shush. I’m usually better at glassware. Marginally.” She paused. “Okay. From now on, I will ask for help.”
“Good girl,” Ronin said, and my dick hardened even more at the heated gaze they exchanged.
Julia held up her glass, and I did the same, Ronin at my side between us. “To tonight. New beginnings.”
“And learning to relax,” Julia added, and I met her gaze, then Ronin’s, and clinked our glasses together. Each of the glasses met as one, the ringing sound loud in my ears.
I let out a breath and then put the glass to my mouth. I took a sip, and then I let out a groan of surprise. “This is awesome.”
Julia beamed. “Yay. I made a bunch, and I have other things I can try. Ronin and I honestly don’t drink that much.”
“We’ve been looking for different ways to get flavor without constantly just mixing orange juice into things,” Ronin said, shaking his head.
“If it’s anything like these, count me in,” I said, not realizing I had said the words until they were out of my mouth.
Those words spoke of promise, futures, and I didn’t know where we were now, let alone where we’d be later.
“I’m going to break the ice and ask what exactly I’m doing here tonight,” I said suddenly, needing to get the words out.
Ronin scowled, but Julia smiled. “Oh, good. I don’t have a to-do or checklist, but that was first on my options before we sat down for a meal.”
“And that would be my wife,” Ronin said, grinning. “I may be the librarian, but she is the computational chemist and data analyst. She takes order and research even more seriously than I do.”
I shook my head. “I’m only slightly organized when it comes to work. Not so much when it comes to everything else.”
“I remember,” Ronin added. Again, those memories slid between us, but at least they weren’t so overwhelming that I couldn’t breathe.
“I’ll whip you into shape,” Julia said, giving me a small nod like a little drill sergeant.
“Okay, you can try.” I shook my head.
“Oh, I think I’ll enjoy it.”
Was this flirting? It was a date, wasn’t it?
“As for why you’re here,” Ronin began, and my attention drifted to him, the tension I felt earlier coming right back. “We’re on a date, and while I would like for us to be out in public with our first date, I figured with the many undercurrents that are no doubt here, it’d be better for us not to have to deal with the public’s reaction to seeing a, gasp, triad in the wild.”
Julia rolled her eyes. “We have two triads in our lives already that are now married and either working on babies or already have them. They are amazing but still have to deal with people being stupid out in the real world.”
I met Ronin’s gaze for an instant before I looked back at Julia. “I remember that feeling. Not the babies and things, but the looks. And that was a few years ago. People seem to have gotten a little bit better over time.”
Julia shook her head. “A lot of people are more accepting, but others seem to take that acceptance as a way for them to feel more comfortable making things that aren’t their business the center of their lives. Their intolerance and prejudice becomes more flagrant the freer the people who aren’t like them find themselves. Our friends deal with it, and if we want to do this again or if we decide that the three of us together out in public is what we want, we will have to deal with the fact that not everyone will be happy with this relationship. But I had to deal with the same thing when I was dating a woman, and I know you guys have had to deal with some other things while you were dating each other and when Alexis was involved.”
I shook my head, blinking and trying to keep up. “You really put it all out there, don’t you?” I asked.
Julia shrugged and took another sip of her drink. “If I didn’t, we’d be dancing around it for the rest of the evening and probably keeping up with secrets and lies or hurt feelings. If we don’t say it, then we’ll end up hurting one another, and I don’t want that.”
She took another big gulp. I had a feeling she wished there was real champagne in that glass rather than sparkling cider.
“Are you okay, honey?” Ronin asked, cupping her face. Julia nodded and smiled softly at her husband.
The longing from before stabbed me, but I pushed it back. They’d been married for years now. Knew each other in ways that I hadn’t even known Ronin. And while I might be jealous, it wasn’t because I wasn’t part of it, it was because I wanted what they had, as well.
“I guess if you’re going to be that open and honest, I should be, too,” I said after a beat, not knowing if interrupting their intimate moment was the right thing to do but knowing that I probably should. If they wanted me here, then I couldn’t hide.
“What is it that you want?” Julia asked, as Ronin stared at me. Julia might be the one speaking the most tonight, but I knew Ronin’s thoughts were running at full speed. If he had something to say, he would. Until then, Julia would speak for both of them as if they had talked for hours about what they needed to say.
Once again, I wasn’t jealous, but I wanted it.
“I’m going to be honest and tell you that I came here for Ronin,” I said quickly, and the light in Julia’s eyes dimmed for the barest moment. “Shit, I meant before this date, when I first came to town. Not tonight.”
The tension in Ronin’s jaw eased, and I barely noticed it at first, I was so focused on the idea that I had hurt Julia.
“I mean it. I c
ame here to try and fix things with Ronin, only I didn’t know that he was already married. And if you two hadn’t decided to ask me here tonight, I never would have stepped in like this. I might have found a way to eventually become friends with both of you—once I got over myself—but I wouldn’t have broached the subject.” I sucked in a breath. “Not because it isn’t appealing to me—because fuck yes, it is—but because it wouldn’t have been my place.”
“So, what do you want out of tonight?” Ronin asked.
“Maybe the same as you? Just wondering what the possibilities are. I don’t want to give full promises of forever because it’s a single night, one date, and doing so would harm all of us. But I think there’s something here. Enough that maybe we should see.”
“That’s our thinking, too,” Julia said. She laughed. “Anyone outside listening to this conversation would probably wonder what the hell we are talking about. I know it’s not what some people think is normal, and I’m fine with that. But I love that we’re all trying to be so open and honest, even though I know it isn’t easy.”
“How about we sit for dinner and talk about where you’ve been, and what we’ve been doing? We don’t need to go into full declarations and promises tonight.”
I looked at Ronin. “That works for me. However, I will make one promise,” I said, and Julia laughed while Ronin rolled his eyes.
“Of course, you have to be the one who gets the last word,” Ronin grumbled.
“That was me, and possibly still is me. I want to learn the Ronin you are now and get to know the woman that he fell in love with. And if we’re being honest, yes, I’m attracted to both of you,” I said quickly.
Julia blushed, and Ronin snorted. “Yes, that sounds like the Kincaid I knew.”
That sobered me a bit, but not entirely. “I’m not that Kincaid anymore, but I am blunt enough. You’re both fucking hot, and that’s not going to change. I say what’s on my mind, and yes, that’s gotten me into trouble more than once.”
Captured in Ink: A Montgomery Ink: Boulder Novella Page 5